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-   -   Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=59254)

denton_12 02-1-2007 02:31 PM

Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
There are many variables that make a person who they are. I believe that the ability (or lack there-of) to trust other individuals is a big part about how people act/react in a situation.

I believe that the default human behavior is to trust everyone you come across. Think about it, when you were a kid, did anyone need to "earn" your trust? No, they didn't, because the World was simple, everything you heard was a truth, even things that contradicted others, because, somehow, in your mind, everything could co-exist in harmony, no matter how different they were.

As we age, we begin to see the World for what it is a place full of lies, half-truths, and false promises. As we are exposed to this harsher environment, our ability to trust changes. We find it harder to trust people as we are lied to more and more, or we stop trusting all together. We even begin to question people that have never lied to us and have been nothing but truthful.

When we get to the stage that we finally allow someone close enough to trust them entirely, and they do something to betray that trust, it tears at your soul, you question everything they've ever told you, you even begin to question people that are in no way connected to the subject. To keep from feeling this pain, we, as humans, put up an emotional barrier, so to speak. This barrier can be strong or weak, it depends on the will power and how bad the person that puts it up has been hurt in the past, and how many times. The more times and the more severe the pain is, the stronger the emotional barrier will be.

Sometimes it takes a long time, but eventually everyone in this world has been/will be hurt bad by someone they trust, be it a friend boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, or family member, everyone in this lifetime is going to be exposed to letdowns, broken promises, be lied to, and be hurt, some people more than others.

As we put up our emotional barriers and allow less and less people to get to our heart, some of us will grow cold, and angry. These people are the people that dwell on the feelings that they felt when they were betrayed, something goes through their mind, they like feeling that pain, because it's a reminder of what could happen again, this helps them reinforce the emotional barrier, make it stronger, and even harder for people to get in.. (I.E. emo kids do this a lot, which is why most of them feel alone, because they don't allow people inside their heart and through the emotional barrier) The barrier that is put is also just a variable; it will only be there as long as the person allows it to be there. If the person doesn't dwell on the feelings and allows themselves to heal, their barrier may be taken down quickly, if the person dwells and relives the experience over and over again, they may never remove the barrier.

As we keep pushing forward in life, our heart will become slightly callus (for lack of a better term). We will ignore the strangers, not even stopping to say hi, or attempt to meet them (Good example is any small city to metropolitan area, go there and see how many friendly faces you see if you've never been around the people before). We do this because even though most people aren't, we all start to feel paranoid, (subliminally) that because we don't know them, they could possibly be out to emotionally scar you, so you don't let them in, you don't give them the time of day. No smile, no look, eventually you see right through strangers, just like they're physical obstacles.

Think of how great a place the World would be if we could go back to the default behavior and trust everything we heard. However that will never be possible, because in this World, there's not one person that won't lie, cheat, or steal to get ahead (especially in the United States). Therefore we all need our barriers that we've build and stand behind. However, rarely meeting new people and giving them the opportunity to get behind the barrier wouldn't all be a bad thing.

Written by: Denton Melvin
1/31/06
4:31 PM

Malazan 02-1-2007 02:52 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
"I believe that the default human behavior is to trust everyone you come across. Think about it, when you were a kid, did anyone need to "earn" your trust? No, they didn't, because the World was simple, everything you heard was a truth, even things that contradicted others, because, somehow, in your mind, everything could co-exist in harmony, no matter how different they were."

That would be Erik Erikson's theory of Basic Trust. You should take Psychology, I have a feeling you'd ace it.

denton_12 02-1-2007 03:18 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
My current school doesn't offer it, or I would.

Reach 02-1-2007 03:28 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
Most of the 'default trust' aspect has to do with the fact young children havn't fully developed mentally. They have shown they can get babies to not trust people like, even their mothers in certain situations where the baby is primarily using instinct. So, I think this 'trust' factor is both innate and learned, in that you have a certain amount of trust and distrust, and as you learn more you specify it yourself. The basic instinct itself isn't to trust everyone, but just that babies are more easily taken in by people as they don't have all their mental abilities yet to fully analyze the situation.

Yes, the world would be great if everyone could trust everyone else. However, that is in a world where everyone is created equally. This world is not that world, and everyone is born with radically different levels of mental capability and personal philosophy on life, and as such some people are just not to be trusted XD

I'm actually a pretty trusting person myself and keep other peoples word. I figure what goes around comes around, so you give and take and trust people, because you can get a lot from it. I think it just comes down to having good instincts when it comes to choosing who you should trust XD

denton_12 02-1-2007 03:32 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
But if you've never been lied to or had trust betrayed in your past, what would keep you from not trusting everyone that you come across? If you've never learned that not everyone is trustworthy and everyone in your life has lived up to what they promise. What would keep you from calling out a stranger on a lie?

Reach 02-1-2007 03:40 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by denton_12 (Post 1144034)
But if you've never been lied to or had trust betrayed in your past, what would keep you from not trusting everyone that you come across? If you've never learned that not everyone is trustworthy and everyone in your life has lived up to what they promise. What would keep you from calling out a stranger on a lie?

Only instinct, which we do have some of. We are animals, and as such we come primed with some basic abilities.

However, those only apply to more basic trust situations. Most of what you've outlined here is complex trust, like lies and things. Piaget says kids can't even lie or understand lies until a certain age (though, this is highly dependent on the child).

There is a huge learned aspect to trusting or not trusting, and most of what your essay outlines is completely truthful. I'm just not so sure the default human behavior is to trust everyone...because, it's not quite that simple ;p

denton_12 02-1-2007 05:01 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
What about those people that go against their instincts... like I have in many occassions.

Cavernio 02-3-2007 12:03 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
Then we've learned not to. Reach isn't contradicting you completely, he's just saying that he agrees that only usually is the default to trust, not always. I mean, what's to make us trust in the first place? Just as equal a conundrum IMO.

denton_12 02-4-2007 06:30 PM

Re: Behind Human Behavior #1 - Trust
 
and in response to that conundrum... What makes us lie? Most of us have grown up being taught that honesty is always the best way to go, however there is not one person that hasn't lied at some point in there life about something.


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