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-   -   The Evolution of the English Language (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=40377)

AcousticSiobhan 03-23-2006 08:27 PM

The Evolution of the English Language
 
This is best if read twice. Out loud if you feel like tricking your brain. Enjoy <3

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Modify: Wow let's see here....**** you, ****, you and **** you. What does it say in that other forum about being nice to newbs? Sorry if my content isnt pleasing. If you dont like it skip it and move on. Better yet delete it and tell me nicely it was in wrong topic. I've been on ffr for 2 years no wonder I never bothered to come on forums. I always forget what insufferable assholes people are.

Moogy 03-23-2006 09:42 PM

Re: The Evolution of the English Language
 
your gay

Kles 03-23-2006 09:42 PM

Re: The Evolution of the English Language
 
anglais est un bonhomme de neige aujourd'hui

whorlichan 03-23-2006 10:13 PM

Re: The Evolution of the English Language
 
This is so old I saw it back when we had that magical pulp stuff..."pey-per."

Also, not at all CT material. Post an explanation for why "ghoughpteighbteau" is read as "potato" and we might care more.

jewpinthethird 03-24-2006 05:23 PM

Re: The Evolution of the English Language
 
No really dude. I remember reading this when I was in middle school. That was ten years ago. I didnt even know the internet existed ten years ago.

Besides, this isnt critical thinking at all. It's a witty joke, but you dont need to be the least bit intellegent to understand it. I mean, I thought it was funny ten years ago, when I was borderline retarded.

PS. The other forum, meaning the newb forum? That is the only place people are required to be nice to newbs.


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