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drizzleRomanceGirl 06-26-2018 07:54 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by reuben_tate (Post 4625004)
I know that there's been a push to the normalization of asking people about their pronouns when you first meet them (or telling them yours when you first meet them to encourage them to tell you theirs. An example being like "Hi, my name is Ben and I go by He/Him/His. And you?"

What do you think of this idea?

I know for some people in the LGBTQ+ community, this seems like a good idea since it allows us to avoid misgendering someone. However, I've also seen that some members of the trans community don't like being asked for their pronouns since the act of asking might indicate that they've been clocked.

i don't think it's a good idea to ask someone because a lot of people who are transgender haven't told anyone yet and it might hurt to have to tell someone you're not the gender you are inside; also even in a transgender setting, if you ask someone that might imply you're not sure which gender they look like which also might hurt, and when someone is transitioning it probably won't be helpful for people to ask them which pronoun to use because they're trying to pass as the sex they are inside, and having to be asked which pronoun to use isn't satisfying and doesn't tell them whether they pass or not

Moria 06-26-2018 08:40 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4625010)
i don't think it's a good idea to ask someone because a lot of people who are transgender haven't told anyone yet and it might hurt to have to tell someone you're not the gender you are inside; also even in a transgender setting, if you ask someone that might imply you're not sure which gender they look like which also might hurt, and when someone is transitioning it probably won't be helpful for people to ask them which pronoun to use because they're trying to pass as the sex they are inside, and having to be asked which pronoun to use isn't satisfying and doesn't help them know whether they pass or not

huh, thats a nice way to look at it.

[probably dont waste your time reading this, thank] i feel like if someones in the process of transitioning they're kinda in a grey area until they find themselves satisfactory. reshaping isnt yet complete. would be rude to address the idea unless they address it first; asking someone or anyone who wasnt happy enough with their given sex that they were determined enough to seek change what they would prefer to identify as while they've still yet to achieve that preference is just kinda stupid really. given some self-consciousness and a little introspection on transitioning parties behalf and that question of their present being could easily seed anxious conflicts on who and what they are, are not, were, will become, feel they truly are, know they observably are and everything inbetween. asking for a perspective on the destination from someone whose still undertaking the journey. potentials for discomfort are too damn high. actually same.. too damn high.. then again i don't think.. and in that scenario: people probably wouldn't have the time to think much either. more likely reflexively respond with their ideal without much self-awareness. so you've just wasted time reading another one of my homemade tangential hypothetical reflections. blindly brought to you by someone who doesn't have any experience on the subject and just wanted to take a moment to leisurely shitpost. :^)
sorry for spamming your ama driz; my bad~

also extra sorry if i managed to fuck with anyones head there. the intention wasn't to harm, don't worry a little existentialism is good for you

drizzleRomanceGirl 06-26-2018 09:08 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Moria (Post 4625014)
huh, thats a nice way to look at it.

[probably dont waste your time reading this, thank] i feel like if someones in the process of transitioning they're kinda in a grey area until they find themselves satisfactory. reshaping isnt yet complete. would be rude to address the idea unless they address it first; asking someone or anyone who wasnt happy enough with their given sex that they were determined enough to seek change what they would prefer to identify as while they've still yet to achieve that preference is just kinda stupid really. given some self-consciousness and a little introspection on transitioning parties behalf and that question of their present being could easily seed anxious conflicts on who and what they are, are not, were, will become, feel they truly are, know they observably are and everything inbetween. asking for a perspective on the destination from someone whose still undertaking the journey. potentials for discomfort are too damn high. actually same.. too damn high.. then again i don't think.. and in that scenario: people probably wouldn't have the time to think much either. more likely reflexively respond with their ideal without much self-awareness. so you've just wasted time reading another one of my homemade tangential hypothetical reflections. blindly brought to you by someone who doesn't have any experience on the subject and just wanted to take a moment to leisurely shitpost. :^)
sorry for spamming your ama driz; my bad~

also extra sorry if i managed to fuck with anyones head there. the intention wasn't to harm, don't worry a little existentialism is good for you

you weren't spamming; i really enjoyed reading your take on being asked pronouns :) you're welcome to share your point of view and you don't need any experience to share your opinion :)

Funnygurl555 06-26-2018 11:41 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
How do you feel when people misgender you? I slip up occasionally when talking to a trans person who doesn't pass as their gender. It's an accident but eheheh

drizzleRomanceGirl 06-27-2018 03:54 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Funnygurl555 (Post 4625100)
How do you feel when people misgender you? I slip up occasionally when talking to a trans person who doesn't pass as their gender. It's an accident but eheheh

i feel really defensive and take it personally and either say the gender i am if it's in a conversation or try to change it on file if my old name is in a record

i used to be really anxious when that happened but i don't have to question myself anymore

the sun fan 06-27-2018 04:19 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4625117)
i feel really defensive and take it personally and either say the gender i am if it's in a conversation or try to change it on file if my old name is in a record

i used to be really anxious when that happened but i don't have to question myself anymore

how often are you misgendered?

Celirra 06-27-2018 08:46 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4625117)
i feel really defensive and take it personally and either say the gender i am if it's in a conversation or try to change it on file if my old name is in a record

i used to be really anxious when that happened but i don't have to question myself anymore

Back when I had long hair I would often be mistaken as female and it really got to me, and that was even without gender identity taking into play; I imagine it's much more aggravating and upsetting for you too, sorry that you have to deal with it

rayword45 06-27-2018 09:21 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
legitimate question: what do you want to do when people make "did u just assume my gender?" jokes?

I'm cis, never seen a trans person say that sentence, and any time I hear it I want to beat the living shit out of whoever made the joke not bc bigotry but bc STOP SAYING THE SAME JOKE OVER AND OVER GODDAMNIT

Aquellex 06-27-2018 11:36 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by rayword45 (Post 4625124)
any time I hear it I want to beat the living shit out of whoever made the joke not bc bigotry but bc STOP SAYING THE SAME JOKE OVER AND OVER GODDAMNIT

same

I sexually Identify as an unoriginal joke. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of surfing reddit dropping shitposts and derailing actual conversation. People say to me that this has been really going on for far too long and and it trivialises gender identity but I don’t care, I'm a massive asshole. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a mountain dew dispenser, a catheter and and a poop shoot on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Logical Gamer” and respect my right to freeze peach. If you can’t accept me you’re a god damn tumblirina sjw cultural marxist liberal and you triggered lol?. Thank you for being so understanding.

drizzleRomanceGirl 06-27-2018 11:37 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by the sun fan (Post 4625119)
how often are you misgendered?

i'm never mis-gendered anymore

Quote:

Originally Posted by rayword45 (Post 4625124)
legitimate question: what do you want to do when people make "did u just assume my gender?" jokes?

I'm cis, never seen a trans person say that sentence, and any time I hear it I want to beat the living shit out of whoever made the joke not bc bigotry but bc STOP SAYING THE SAME JOKE OVER AND OVER GODDAMNIT

i think it's funny too XD

i also love when people make fun of how many genders there are now lol even though i respect all genders

mellonxcollie 06-27-2018 11:45 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
What is your opinion on gender neutral bathrooms? What would be the most comfortable solution for public bathrooms for transpeople in your opinion?

drizzleRomanceGirl 06-27-2018 11:56 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by the sun fan (Post 4625119)
how often are you misgendered?

actually even though i'm never mis-gendered anymore some of my old files still have my old name like the voting place so i get really defensive when they still have the old name i used to use

also every once in awhile i get mail from my old name and i feel threatened if that's the right word and i rip the letter in two and throw it away

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellonxcollie (Post 4625139)
What is your opinion on gender neutral bathrooms? What would be the most comfortable solution for public bathrooms for transpeople in your opinion?

they're really nice and people who are transgender don't have to worry about which bathroom to use and feel comfortable

i think every single place with a restroom should have a gender neutral bathroom in addition to the women's and men's bathroom

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celirra (Post 4625123)
Back when I had long hair I would often be mistaken as female and it really got to me, and that was even without gender identity taking into play; I imagine it's much more aggravating and upsetting for you too, sorry that you have to deal with it

yeah it feels like my entire existence is being attacked :(

QueenAshy 06-27-2018 04:45 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
How long did it take you after HRT to start passing?

How old were you when you started?

Did you ever have those awkward moments when you met an old friend after you've transitioned?

Did your current group of friends take it well when you broke the news?

Sanjixcon 06-27-2018 09:08 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Are there any specific laws or regulations regarding transgender individuals that you would like to see changed/added/removed?

drizzleRomanceGirl 06-27-2018 09:14 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenAshy (Post 4625153)
How long did it take you after HRT to start passing?

How old were you when you started?

Did you ever have those awkward moments when you met an old friend after you've transitioned?

Did your current group of friends take it well when you broke the news?

it took about a year i think and i was about 19-and-a-half, so it's been almost five years

yeah, i had seen a friend at the grocery store i used to spend time with all the time, and he worked there as a stock person i think, and i wasn't sure if he was the person i knew at first because he looked a lot older than the last time i saw him, so i was trying to find out whether he was my old friend or not, and he didn't know i was transgender and he recognized me, so he called me by the name i used to use so i told him assertively my name is Rebecca and before i could say hi he said something like "oh, nevermind; i have the wrong person" and walked away, and i never got a chance to talk with him again

yeah, my best friend supported me completely as soon as i told him in 12th grade and he didn't mind at all; however we went to different colleges so we haven't talked that much in about six years; the only friends i spend time with right now are all online and they all know i'm transgender

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanjixcon (Post 4625211)
Are there any specific laws or regulations regarding transgender individuals that you would like to see changed/added/removed?

if President Trump's transgender military ban hasn't been lifted yet, i really want to see that law lifted

i really like the law President Obama passed that allows transgender individuals (and everyone else) to use any bathroom they want

i really detest that all people in the United States who were physically born male even if they're transgender and have their legal gender and name changed have to sign something when you're 18/an adult that forces you to enlist for the military if there's a military draft until you're 26, and if you don't sign it you have to pay a $500,000 fine and/or go to jail

i wouldn't mind if people who were physically born female were also forced to enlist, but only people who were physically born male are forced to enlist which is extremely inconsiderate

i want the law to be changed so that everyone who's 18 and over has to sign unless they don't agree with serving in the military or have some other special circumstance why they can't or don't want to serve in the military

also if someone who's transgender goes to jail they should be able to choose whether to stay with females, males, or in a separate cell IMO

MinaciousGrace 06-27-2018 10:14 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4625212)
i really detest that all people in the United States who were physically born male even if they're transgender and have their legal gender and name changed have to sign something when you're 18/an adult that forces you to enlist for the military if there's a military draft until you're 26, and if you don't sign it you have to pay a $500,000 fine and/or go to jail...

i agree all genders should be eligible for the draft

tosh 06-27-2018 11:04 PM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SKG_Scintill (Post 4624980)
well my mom did ask "why on earth would you want periods?"
so at least from her perspective it doesn't look like a wonderful thing :P

Periods (like all things) depends on the person. I'm personally very glad I'll never have a period.
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizz
also tosh you're transgender?

Yeah. Touch over 4 years HRT. Legal name change was almost 3 years ago. Also currently pre-op, but in my case it's that I'm still saving up + the surgeons I'm looking at have long wait lists. Starting to get my ducks in a row, though.

andy-o24 06-28-2018 09:57 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
What type of bathing suit do you currently use?

-o24

mellonxcollie 06-28-2018 10:17 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Do you actually agree with the draft or do you just think everyone should be forced to sign up for equality sake? Would you ever consider serving in the military voluntarily? Would you feel that it would be safe for you to be around military type people in that setting?

icontrolyourworld 06-28-2018 10:48 AM

Re: Transgender AMA
 
Once you start the transition from male to female you don't want to just look like a girl, but to also be 100% or close to a girl as possible i assume. This not only includes passing for others but passing for yourself, being happy with the end result.

My questions are about any physical insecurities you may or may not have with either current or during transitional periods leading to being a female. Being born male and transitioning to female will definitely present these hurdles.

I'm coming late to the discussion, feel copy paste any answers you may have answered, since this might be kind of a lot. Sorry in advance for repeated questions!

How do you feel trying to change your pitch to sound more female? Is it possible to have a natural flowing female voice?
The male shape is more squareish, and female more curvy naturally; do you find yourself to have either more of a male or female shape now, did it take surgeries, and does it take convincing yourself that you look the way you want now, or are working towards the desired frame? (this also includes facial features, like a strong jaw bone, or browlines etc.)
Even with gender reassignment surgery, do you fear that your genitals may not look cosmetically pleasing, extended also to boobs?
Related to orgasms, I assume females have more nerves, or can experience more orgasms than men, is this the case for you? Has the transition heigtened, lowered, or remained the same to your susceptibility in this regard?
The decision to have gender reassignment done is probably tough even if you are positive you want to transition, have you decided to go through with it? If not, is it important to eventually have it done?
Has your ability to reproduce also transitioned to that of a female? If not does that bother you personally? If so, or if you know someone who is bothered that they can't, what are some opinions there?
Do you have periods?
Do you fear that after sinking in lots of time and effort, changing social status, changing your body, changing your mind, and changing your internal hormones among probably other things, that you might change your mind at some point, and want back what you had before?
Are there any other personal physical hurdles I haven't addressed that you can or would like to share?
Do you pass as female for yourself? Others is cool, but this is important.
And finally, are you happy?


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