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-   -   Best/Deepest poem ever. Discuss (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=14132)

darktoaster 08-10-2004 01:34 PM

Best/Deepest poem ever. Discuss
 
Once upon a time
I came up with a little rhyme
So this is it
I hope that it will be a hit
There once was a little boat
But it could not float
It just sunk
Because it was missing a big ol' chunk
Water rushed in
Through the hull made of tin
Until it was full
Forming a big pool
All of the fishes
Thought that the wreck was the solution
To all of their wishes
Because they were sick of swimming in polution
They all loved the ship
And they all felt so hip
Because they were tired of swimming in sewage
The fish turned the ship into a disco
But it was a big risk though
Because it used enough electricity
To light a big sign that said Electric Kittie
That was the name of their club
Which was run by a mean fish named Bub
Bub ran the club with an iron fist
He wouldn't let anyone in who wasn't on his list
Many fish waited all day
But he just made them go away
Some of the dissappointed fishies cried and cried
Because they were rejected everytime they tried
Then one day a smart fish named Wubba Wubba
Decided to start his own club named Hubba Hubba
Now Big Dubya as he liked to be called
Was very very bald
But he did not care
Because no fish have any hair
His new club was a hit
And Big Bub said @&$!
As he threw a big fit
Bub made a plan
To make his club the best in the sea
He decided that he should start to sell tea
But then he realized that he was not a man
And he could not drink tea
Even if it was in the sea
The moral to the story is this
Never drink anything that looks like .....
That is the end of my story
And please don't worry
I will never write anything like that
Again until you buy me a big fluffy hat

tnyhwk900 08-10-2004 01:51 PM

X_X Ouch. That was bad. Way too much rhyme-forcing.

flypie743 08-10-2004 02:10 PM

Weird poem...

lightdarkness 08-10-2004 02:11 PM

Nice rhymes.

jazzmosis 08-11-2004 01:30 PM

That hardly even classifies as a poem. Too much forced rhyming, there's a lack of concrete imagery, and the poem goes nowhere.

darktoaster 08-11-2004 02:46 PM

You are such a confused little man. What you failed to see was the underlying symbolism found in the poem.

fusi0n 08-11-2004 02:49 PM

That sounds like something from Where the Sidewalk Ends. (about as deep as a kiddie pool.)

SotN 08-12-2004 06:09 AM

A lost path; alien time
Familiar route; cellar door


OH MAN I R TEH BEST.


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