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-   -   Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me? (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=134839)

Svaz 01-23-2014 08:15 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Alternatively

Vendetta21 01-23-2014 08:40 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
In a classroom environment not following the expectations just results in a bad score and then you may never see the teacher again. In a workplace not following tge expectations impacts everyone you work with. In a relationship not meeting agreed upon expectations (implicitly or explicitly) causes conflict and relationship decay.

You may not always meet expectations because you are human and the expectations are beyond your capacity. Maturity is, in some sense, learning how to identify all the things expected of you, doing that which you can, and communicating clearly with others those expectations you feel can't meet. A lot of times the things you think are expected of you are malleable and sometimes your preconceived notions of your own capability are mistaken. This is where the communication element becomes critical.

Most of the time if you aren't clearly grasping the things expected of you then you will stumble, get frustrated, blame others, and make yourself a victim of circumstance. Getting better at this identification comes better with experience, and geniunely attempting to meet expectations helps to generate a realistic sense of your capacity.

In a classroom environment you may mot get the sense that you are entirely responsible for figuring out what the expectations are of you, your capacity, resolving the issues that exist, and communicating that which you feel unable to do clearly because teachers make an effort to simplify these things as much as possible and we feel it is their responsibility to make things manageable. In every other situation you encounter through your life, you will have to do this yourself for tge mist part.

My writing style here is clinical so it may make the idea sound daunting but it isn't as long as your intentions are to do your best.

Pseudo Enigma 01-23-2014 09:19 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by devonin (Post 4065077)
If you refer to "adults" as something other than the group to which you, yourself belong, I'd argue that you pretty much -aren't- mature.

but not doing so doesn't guarantee you are mature either.

ilikexd 01-23-2014 09:54 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4064980)
What I'm irritated about is when adults expect other people to act in the way they believe to be mature, and they openly attack someone's self-esteem if he or she doesn't follow those unspoken rules.

Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4064980)
I believe everyone has their own right to act however they would like to act, provided the country's laws are not broken. I don't appreciate when people judge others who don't act how those people want them to act.

They have the right to judge you because the country's laws are not broken, right?

Pseudo Enigma 01-23-2014 10:05 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KgZ (Post 4065137)
Guy. People who are older than you (commonly referred to adults) simply have more experience in life than you do. They've literally lived more days than you. That doesn't always mean they're right because they're older. But they have more experiences and stories to back up their moral claims. In the example of your response to Dev, you don't have to agree with him. It's probably worth listening to what he and other people older than you have to say though.

replying =/= not listening
I have read every response in this thread. My response to dev was mostly sarcasm. I don't disagree with what he said, but it sounded a bit conceited. His responses haven't been exactly helpful at looking at OP's problem either.

edit: actually, that's another thing. Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you. Sure there's preformed respect that comes with being older than me, but the other side has to also build up from there too. Being an adult doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and get away with it because of respect. In fact, it doesn't exactly install respect. If anything it takes away from it.

Call me a rebel.

Tharringbone 01-23-2014 10:45 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
It is probably irritating to you because you are an immature little child.

awein999 01-23-2014 11:20 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
There are misconceptions when it comes to immaturity and maturity. Maturity doesn't mean have no fun and never be silly, and likewise immature doesn't mean always be silly and never be serious. You can be maturely silly and immaturely serious. There could be aspects of yourself that are mature and others that aren't. It's not a blanket statement as to whether you are mature or immature. Many people use mature vs immature weapon of words to try to insult someone who deviates from the norm and get them to conform by making them feel insecure. Instances happen all the time by less mature people attacking more mature ones ironically calling said person immature. (age is irrelevant)

You have at least one immature trait if you have a warped view of reality, shallow beliefs, shallow wisdom, acting without thinking, more self-centered or self-humble than your reality calls for, or are emotionally unstable.
Usually it comes down to whether you are a realist or not with certain things probably.

I still think the way immaturity and maturity are used as blanket statements in society as a way to "act" is bogus though.

Pseudo Enigma 01-23-2014 11:42 PM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KgZ (Post 4065182)
how about respecting everyone instead of proving their worth to you?

I just said I respect everyone. Once they do something that lessens themselves in front of me they lose that respect. It's not rocket science.

>FFR talking about maturity
it's funny in of itself.

also I think calling people immature isn't a very mature thing to do, either. Explicitly nor implicitly.

edit: KgZ I see where you're coming from, don't get me wrong. I just don't agree with it 100%.

GuidoHunter 01-24-2014 12:07 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl (Post 4064959)
I sometimes become extremely irritated with other adults when they expect me or anyone else to be mature.

Adults looking out for the best interests of children who don't know any better? The outrage.

Quote:

However, I detest when adults think the act of maturity is something that should be enforced.
Yeah, I mean who wants a productive society or anything?

Immaturity well into adulthood is a serious problem, so excuse us for trying to curb it.

The sanctimonious "Don't judge me!" attitude isn't helping your case, either.

--Guido

dAnceguy117 01-24-2014 12:46 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Vendetta21 (Post 4065101)
You may not always meet expectations because you are human and the expectations are beyond your capacity. Maturity is, in some sense, learning how to identify all the things expected of you, doing that which you can, and communicating clearly with others those expectations you feel can't meet. A lot of times the things you think are expected of you are malleable and sometimes your preconceived notions of your own capability are mistaken. This is where the communication element becomes critical.

perfectly describes what I've learned through some of my own failures in the last year.

Crazyjayde 01-24-2014 01:12 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
I am more unnerved of the misconceptions that go along the idea of "becoming adult" upon age, where in fact it's more of a transition into maturity. Aging individuals often go along the concept of "tagging" someone by their acquired capabilities (read skills) or their age, when in fact, somebody's maturity is more often that not cultivated in wisdom. That, I think, had been more of an issue for people crossing the gap.

I could see myself more prone to understanding that. Your initial statement might need some rephrasing.

Izzy 01-24-2014 01:17 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pseudo Enigma (Post 4065139)
Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you.

In general I agree with this. Being older is only an opportunity to become more mature, not a guarantee.

Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.

Poison- 01-24-2014 01:21 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Izzy (Post 4065221)
Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.

Gender: Female ?

Crazyjayde 01-24-2014 01:30 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
^ Confirmed

Izzy 01-24-2014 01:32 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
That doesn't change much even if it is true. I don't think I'd easily believe someone that seems to lie about everything else.

Crazyjayde 01-24-2014 01:41 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
The fact that you said this:

Quote:

I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop
makes me think that you don't fully understand what an account worth a thousand of posts entails.
This thread is getting harsh.

Izzy 01-24-2014 01:54 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
What are you implying it is worth? That doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Someone could easily be bored enough to spend the time messing with people.

Crazyjayde 01-24-2014 01:58 AM

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?
 
I am implying it's enough dedication in this short time span to be clear about her genuine interest in this community.
Jesus, go ask her yourself.


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