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Is cybersex cheating?
There is going to be a segment on a radio show Monday morning about whether cybersex is considered cheating. I want to get some opinions from fellow FFRers on what they think of cybersex and cheating. Maybe stir up a little debate.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Fuck yes it is
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Well yeah. You'd be mental to think it isn't.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Why is this even a thread?
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
madmatt thread
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Get this out of CT. edit: fak u 0 u sneky ninja |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Some would say it isn't due to the lack of physical connection.
Ask your significant other if you're looking for a different answer. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
I would say it depends on your definition of cheating and your beliefs.
By definition, "cheating" means "to be sexually unfaithful" so the answer would technically be "yes" but again, it depends on your beliefs. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Yes. Emotional cheating can be just as bad as physical (as both are technically appeals to emotion in the end anyway).
I still stand by my heuristic of what defines cheating: If you wouldn't do it in front of your SO, it's probably cheating. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
This shouldn't even be a thread! It's a relationship with someone else and NOT with the person you are with. Simple as that.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Reincarnate has spoken.
/thread Nah but I could see where this is debatable, i agree with ILY in that some pairs of people don't think that it's a big deal. I would assume in a relationship without discussing that it is cheating, though |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
The main argument I can see for not bringing this up in the first place is the follow-up from your significant other of why you're asking that question, which could skew the response towards the "yes" end of the spectrum.
That being said, there's various degrees of it. Some do cam-to-cam, others trade text messages (sexting), and others even roleplay out their stuff. Sadly, this last category is what many people think of when the term "role playing" is mentioned. Clearly, the particulars vary, but the end result is the same--you're getting your jollies from interacting with someone over the internet. As for my personal argument, I say it's not cheating for two reasons. One is the "I'm not touching her" argument brought up earlier, and the second basically compares it to visiting a pornographic webcam site. If watching porn isn't cheating, then why does watching that girl you've been chatting with for the last 6 months pop her top for your birthday count as a breach of trust? Is it because you've been cultivating a relationship over the internet with her instead of focusing solely on your SO? |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
I'm going to have to vote no. Just the act of typing sexual roleplay comments back and forth over the internet doesn't inherently involve emotional commitment. I don't feel like it really means much at all. So it isn't even emotional or physical and is barely a step up from masturbating.
It's up to each individual whether or not they think they are emotionally dividing love with someone you shouldn't be. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
gonna have to say no -- while it's awkward and is more than likely a breaking point in relationships, there isn't much that is happening that's wrong. it's pretty much shooting the shit with your friends.
think about situations where you might talk bad about a girl or a guy amongst friends but there is little intended malice |
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
If the partner is fine with it then no. If not then yes, it's cheating.
If the partner don't know, better say it or stop it before drama happens. If the partner don't care, run away really fast. ^ tl;dr v long version |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
It's questions like these which emphasize the importance of communication in relationships. If you are in a relationship with someone, it is important to be in constant communication with each other and to come to agreements and compromises. With that being said, one should talk to their partner with what constitutes "cheating."
It may be awkward, but if you are in a serious relationship with someone, you would love them enough to muster up the courage to bring up the topic to maintain a healthy relationship. Anyways, couples should talk to each other and make sure they are both in understanding of each other and so that both sides feel that it is fair. Having one person in the relationship being overly controlling and having their partner not even associate with particular genders would be an issue. On the flip side, having someone in the relationship being a pimp and not giving a **** would also pose an issue. So communication is essential to make sure neither of extremes occur. With communication, both people in the relationship can discuss what IS and what IS not cheating. Not for other people, but for themselves. Is kissing someone on the cheek cheating? I don't know, discuss it with your partner. Is sexting with someone else cheating? I don't know discuss it with your partner. Is cam-to-cam cybersex cheating? Perhaps your partner would be able to compromise to allow it as long as it's a different person every time (to assure that you aren't really in another relationship.) So what is cheating? Cheating is what you and your partner agreed to. What if you guys haven't had that discussion? Then cheating is what your partner thinks cheating is and you ain't gonna know what that is until you get yourself screwed. If you have reasoning for why you want to continue doing certain things (like sexting) for example, then come up with a valid argument for your partner. We all understand that we have sexual "needs" to fulfill and some people fulfill them differently than others. The only this is an issue is because our society (and many others) puts an extremely strong link between sexual acts and loving relationships. But if both you and your partner discuss this topic with open minds and understanding, perhaps you can reach an agreement, a compromise, or perhaps your partner might have a suggestion that makes you both happy ;) I'm going say this one more time for emphasis: communication. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Just for the people who said no, how many of you can say you're comfortable with your partner showing their stuff over a webcam to strangers?
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with another guy (who she's acquired feelings for) over the net, on not just one occasion, but several. She does it more frequently than she does you. Cheating yet? |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Problem is defining "cheating" and "cybersex" and in both cases, it's dependant of what each person in the relationship thinks which leads to communication/commitment which leads to what's already been said. As not everyone has the same moral values, there's no reason to try arguing over "how we would feel". The only logical conclusion is to figure out what is ethically correct. There's probably some places in the world where it's completely fine and others where it's totally wrong.
Oh, apparently it's not-so-legal in multiple scenarios for multiple reasons that has nothing to do with the OP. Better avoid it for your well-being. I guess cybersex can be compared as a white man saying the n word. |
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I wouldn't be bothered by some random people getting aroused to my hypothetical girlfriend that doesn't have feeling for them. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Are you people serious
Like really If you're causing emotional distress in any way similar to cheating in real life then I'm sorry, it's pretty much grounds for being accused of just cheating on someone in general regardless of whether it's physical or not. Like I'm 100% confused as to why this is even something to talk about. If anyone you ever date is ok with you cybering in any form then there's something just as wrong with him/her than there is with you, and if you absolutely just have to do it with someone else then you obviously aren't committed enough to be in a relationship and you need to spend the rest of your life fucking hookers in a Motel 6. Why is this even a discussion WHY |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
uh, if i cam fuck someone from tumblr who's a 9/10 you aint gotta know about it
so no |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
cam fuck:
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Yes it's cheating but I'm not sure cheating is wrong.
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Betraying someones trust is funny hur hur. If they were dumb enough to trust u, than no, cyber sex isn't wrong ^^ keep fappin'
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
It depends on the level of emotional commitment you have with the person you're doing the cybersex with i suppose. While i don't think its cheating per say, its not something you want to do when you're in a relationship already. I'd put it on the equivalent of going out to a strip joint to see your favorite girl/guy strip.
That's not to say I'd tolerate it at all. While i don't think its cheating, i doubt I'd stay with someone displaying their goods to random strangers on the internet. Its still a trust issue. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
god gurl I'm slappin my dick all over the monitor how do you like that huh??
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
I sometimes forget this is a critical thinking section.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
It's the couple's decision and no one else's business. If you agree with your partner on the fact that ''cybersex isn't cheating in THIS relationship'' well it isn't. If they don't agree, it's ''cheating''.
I don't think this can be generalized... it's between two individuals. There is no such thing as ''relationship rules'' so I don't understand where this question is going. |
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Caught red handed that is.
... ... I apologize for this really forced statement. However, on the topic of cybersex being considered cheating. It's really no question, if you're in a relationship, of course it is! But you don't need another person saying that since a lot of you have already stated it. I also agree with the "What your partner thinks is considered..." argument. |
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
As long as there is no double standard and both partners agree that it's acceptable for either one to engage in said activities then go for it.
The majority of people would probably have values consistent with saying that cybersex is cheating though, myself included. On the other hand for example, there's people out there who are perfectly fine with watching their wives get pig roasted. so yeah...I'm sure some people will think it's harmless rofl |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Relationships are a two way street.
If they're cool with you eSlutting, they probably think you feel the same way in return. I don't see how that's considered a relationship. 'Fuck buddies with a reason to argue' is the only label I could come up with. |
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If you are in a relationship and feel the need to hide contact with someone else you have feelings for, that is cheating. It doesn't matter if it's a close-distance relationship where you can actually visit the person, or a long-distance relationship where you have to talk with them through some other medium (in this case, computers + internet); if there is a level of secrecy that -needs- to be maintained to avoid conflict, it's probably wrong. |
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Depends on the situation. It isn't cheating if you have an open relationship or your partner is ok with it. "Cheating" is really just doing something outside the boundaries you and your partner have set.
Then again, I'm not the possessive type. I've been with my GF for over 4 years. Second question - what if you had one cyber-encounter and didn't tell your partner. What if this encounter in fact made your relationship better? What if it "spiced things up"? Devils advocate. :twisted: |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
I still would personally call it cheating. It's the fact that you gave in to the temptation of adulterous behavior.
By implying that the partner is "alright" with it, you're already nullifying any possibility of it being cheating, because it's either serious enough for the SO to leave you, or it's not serious enough and you/your SO have no reason to argue about it because it's a trivial situation. If the previously noted trivial situation turns out to be a lie and ends up being an affair, then it leads right back to cheating. On a personal level, it seems like there's no middle ground -- either you're cheating, or you're not. Part of me was wondering about cheating in polygamist relationships, but I can't quite wrap my head about how I would discuss something like that, haha. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Define the boolean function c(p1, p2, A) as the result of the truthfulness of the proposition: "The action A is considered cheating in the relationship between p1 and p2."
If p1=p2, say both equal person X, then we can define c(X, X, A) as "In X's personal opinion, A is considered cheating." define C(p1, p2) = {all A | c(p1, p2, A) = true} Now, there are two extremes we can have. Either both people in the couple are lenient and allow their partner to do whatever where only the mutually agreed upon activities are deemed as cheating. In the other case, both people in the couple could be strict and abide by not only their own opinions of what is cheating but also by their partner's. Thus we can bound the set of activities that are deemed as cheating between a couple as follows: (C(p1,p1) ∩ C(p2, p2)) ⊆ C(p1, p2) ⊆ (C(p1,p1) ∪ C(p2, p2)) Is it up to the couple themselves through proper communication to more precisely define the elements in C(p1, p2) (the things considered cheating between said couple.) Also, until you talk to your significant other, you have no clue what C(p2, p2) is (assuming you are p1) so it's best to talk to your partner about it so both of you can first have an understanding of each other's personal opinions and then after that, you can have a logical discussion to find a happy medium that satisfies both people in the couple. |
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It's pretty simple guys. |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Sex is never cheating when you pay for it.
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The whole idea I had behind my example was a "means to an end" argument, and the uncomfortable idea that in certain situations cheating might actually be beneficial for a relationship. Obviously this is far more often the exception rather than the rule, though I would argue if you are in a relationship where cheating is happening then there is something inherently unfulfilling with that relationship from the outset. If feelings develop for another person outside the relationship it doesn't mean the relationship is flawed - rather, if that person feels the need to act on these feelings without talking with their partner and being open then there is a trust issue. This goes for cyber-relationships or in-person. Part of this is societally created, as it is very taboo and difficult to tackle the subject of open relationships in today's culture. If this isn't believable, try telling your partner you are attracted to someone else. It is one of the hardest things you can ever do, but if you can work through it, you might have a truly authentic and fulfilling relationship with your partner. Sorry if that was long-winded :) |
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also thats a terrible definition. cheating is engaging in *serious* relations or actions with anyone that is not your significant other. it really just comes down to personal convictions and prerogatives and understanding one another. if my girlfriend did something like camming, i wouldn't break up with her because she 'cheated' on me. i'd break up with her because that's weird and whorish |
Re: Is cybersex cheating?
Yup, but it's okay.
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who need's sex when you have internet??
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LOL, now I see why. That's a really immature way to handle a debate.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
I feel like this is the same as asking if 3-somes are cheating because you're touching someone else's genitals.
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
ITT people with fake girlfriends
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Re: Is cybersex cheating?
My Waifu is real. ;_;
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