Flash Flash Revolution: Community Forums

Flash Flash Revolution: Community Forums (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/index.php)
-   Critical Thinking (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/forumdisplay.php?f=33)
-   -   Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy". (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=114944)

Rubin0 10-28-2010 05:30 PM

Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
This was kind of inspired by the "Is being gay wrong" topic. I've taken a few gender classes and through general observations it seems to me that a masculine woman is much less stigmatized than a feminine man. I think the obvious answer for most people would be that they would prefer a tomboy for a daughter, but I'm not sure many people have wondered why.

What do you think is stranger: Girl playing with a fire truck or a boy playing with a Barbie doll? Why?


Any thoughts?

*Edit* Also, I want to point out that I don't use the word "sissy" in every day life, but just thought I would use the derogatory word used for feminine men to make the post eye catching.

Izzy 10-28-2010 05:34 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
The only reason girls like crap like barbie dolls is because of social expectations and the media. I'm sorry but girly girls are just idiots that fell into a trap of expectation. I think the same can be said about really masculine men. So my answer is both are fine. Either of those things imply that the child is thinking for themselves and I support that.

Not that a really girly girl couldn't have decided she really did like what people consider to be girly, but the more and more extreme you get the less likely I believe it is. So it kind of turns into a bell curve. All of the people in the middle are fine.

Rubin0 10-28-2010 05:36 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I just went to go hit the "like" button and realized I wasn't on facebook.

BabyViperx3 10-28-2010 05:36 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
My daughter plays with toy cars & what not. She's growing up around my little nephew who's 4. It's kind of a tough question. I wouldn't mind raising both, but I seem to lean more towards a boy who's a sissy. Idno why. But as for the question, I don't feel either is odd.

phe0nixblade 10-28-2010 07:39 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I think a boy being sissy is odd, I would much rather have a daughter be tomboyish.

8 Hour Whore 10-28-2010 07:50 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Tomboy for a girl..
Reason being.. Every parent worries about their children. When they are more fit to support themselves it's a bit of a lift.. Plus Emotional attachments aren't as strong when letting go.

funmonkey54 10-28-2010 08:20 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Seeing as how society is more accepting of tomboy girls and a tomboy girl is going to get less harassment about their sexuality than an effeminate male, I'll take a tomboy girl for my child's sake.

BethanyBangs 10-28-2010 08:56 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Tomboy. Because i was one. and still am. just my looks changed. xD

xealix 10-28-2010 08:58 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Tomboy for previously stated reasons.

who_cares973 10-28-2010 09:17 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
agree with izzy

D!LL 10-29-2010 01:28 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Izzy (Post 3327901)
The only reason girls like crap like barbie dolls is because of social expectations and the media. I'm sorry but girly girls are just idiots that fell into a trap of expectation. I think the same can be said about really masculine men. So my answer is both are fine. Either of those things imply that the child is thinking for themselves and I support that.

Not that a really girly girl couldn't have decided she really did like what people consider to be girly, but the more and more extreme you get the less likely I believe it is. So it kind of turns into a bell curve. All of the people in the middle are fine.

Interesting point brought up in this thread I think. -- I agree with Izzy. I wouldn't prefer any over the other because both are just fine and dandy for me. I'd rather my child be what he/she WANTS to be rather than what cultural expectations in society demand of him/her.

It's interesting how men acting effeminate is less acceptable than women acting masculine.

I think this is because we're both judged by our piers. Men are judged by men, and women by other women. (Generally.) I say this because that's sort of how we're raised. (For the most part). Boys are taught how to be a man by their fathers and girls are taught how to be a woman by their mothers. and of course it's not this black and white, but this is a majority in how our society has developed as whole.

Men are, in my opinion, a little less open minded when it comes to sexuality, and because of this it reflects on society's acceptance of either a tomboy or a girlyboy.

rushyrulz 10-29-2010 01:34 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I agree with fm54. Society is more accepting of a tomboy than a sissy, but I wouldn't mind either.

Cavernio 10-30-2010 09:07 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Unfortunately I'd probably have to say tomboy girl, but officially, I don't care either way :-p It also seems that people who consider themselves more feminine compared to masculin would say they'd prefer the girly boy.

I definitely think there is more of a stigma to being a girly boy, but I don't think its for the reasons Dill said. Its much more of a product of our times than our individual upbringings, or from who judges who. The feminist movement came and went, and from that, it became alright for a woman to be manly. I suspect there is a backlash to that, that men have then developed more 'manly' endeavors, in an attempt to retain their gender identity. (This speaking for north american society as a whole, not about every individual man who is manly.) Even if that is not the case though, men have not gone through any sort of social reformation so that they can be more womanly. The closest thing they seem to have is the gay movement, which definitely makes some men feel like they can be more womanly (think Gay Eye for the Straight Guy show), but again, I think there can be backlash, and its really not a 'men' movement.

Your first sentence threw me totally off Izzy, but your point makes sense. (How many video games do you play where you don't get to play dress-up with your character these days? Video games targeted at males let men 'play with barbies' these days.) But I also am much less concerned or even see 'just be yourself' as an issue for my peers...I really think that is an age difference thing...I cannot imagine the stress of having kids, working full-time, studying full-time, without allowing yourself to 'be yourself' so to speak. One has to be responsible and act accordingly so much of the time, that it'd be ludicrous to put on a show or 'try to fit in' during downtime. WHICH brings me to the ultimate point that I disagree with you, at least for an older group of people, although what you say makes sense from what I remember of my school years. Furthermore, I know people who adopt very specific gender roles specifically because they like sex and their lifestyle revolves around it, not for any other reason.

This of course opens the whole can of worms about people who feel they need to change their physical gender in order to 'be themselves'. How much of a role does society have on these people? If society were much more 'gender' neutral, if people felt like they didn't have to identify as being a man or a woman, do you think these people would still feel like they're the wrong sex? I suspect society has a large role in this, but I don't know anyone who fits this description to have any sort of personal knowledge either way. I know that a few decades ago, there were more men who felt like they were women but in a man's body, but that in the recent years (possibly due to bias in sampling in the past), the men/woman ration who feel like they are the wrong gender is smaller, something like 1.2.

Cavernio 10-30-2010 09:13 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I know, double post, but I'm not sure I'd like having a tomboy girl actually, at least not one who's into sports, seeing as I am completely not a sports fan.

fido123 10-30-2010 10:14 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I'd rather have a tomboy than a bitty girl, and a feminine guy than a macho douche-bag. If somebody is being true to themselves, and not just conforming to social norms (and I hate these social norms, as in the personalities), I'll probably get along with them.

EnR 10-30-2010 12:03 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by fido123 (Post 3329448)
I'd rather have a tomboy than a bitty girl, and a feminine guy than a macho douche-bag. If somebody is being true to themselves, and not just conforming to social norms (and I hate these social norms, as in the personalities), I'll probably get along with them.

I'm basically same way here, I'd rather a feminine guy(not gay, but in touch with his feminine side) than some guy who thinks he's king **** and owns the place.

There's some chick at our school who went from dressing up girl, then started wearing black makeup and clothes and now she wears a hat backwards and huge sweaters with baggy ass jeans, she basically follows any group that accepts her and it's hilarious. She asked my GF if she wanted to go to a "screamo" concert but really it was a metal concert, she just has no idea about what trend she's following.

fido123 10-30-2010 12:26 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I don't think that's a tomboy rather than a girl trying to be "A HARDCOAR INDIVIDUAL"

kmay 10-30-2010 12:45 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
umm I was a sissy boy... not exactly by choice because I didn't exactly have a Dad. It was really hard growing up. I'd definitely pick the tomboy.

Kage06 11-1-2010 07:28 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I'm not exactly masculine as in the stereotypical bloke, and I'm not girly either, but I'm not your average typical guy, and I think that's a good thing.

It is true that a tomboy would be more accepted in this society.

It really depends how you are brought up. As Kmay says, it depends who has raised you as well. You may grow to be different because of that.
If you have more sisters, as a boy growing up, you are going to learn ways different to how a guy/girl would living with the same sex from a young age, with both parents supporting them.

A lot develops and fast whilst you are young. A lot of what happens when you are young grows up with you, and stays with you.

I don't like football, and don't really watch any sport, but take part in some sports. Was this because I was brought up in a house where no one likes football, or doing much sport in general? Could very well be. Was it my choice? No, because it was never something I was interested in and never made the choice whether I would like it or not. It just happened that way.

I think some parents are scared their children are going to be gay, when it wouldn't change their overall sexuality traits.
Maybe gay girls are more accepted than gay guys as well in truth.

It could go back as far as when we first arrived on this earth. I doubt it would have seemed weird if a women was a lot more masculine in nature to be more protective to their families, etc

I like dancing games, like DDR/ITG and play them a lot. Does this make me "girly?" Some people would indeed say so (I've had so many people give me a weird look because a guys on the machines), and automatically think I'm gay because of it.
Do I care? No, because I know who I am inside

Sorry, I may have ranted on a bit :p

Vendetta21 11-1-2010 09:03 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I would rather my daughter be a tomboy because that means she's actively rebelling against being defined in a way that she doesn't want to be defined. But I wouldn't mind a son who was a sissy because it means that despite what everyone tells him to do he calmly just does his own thing.

nois-or-e 11-2-2010 07:42 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
My daughter hates playing with doll, but loves painting her nails, doing her hair. . .

Being yourself is fine regardless of the social norms and media bull****.

Better than being a whiny crybag, lol.

wolf pry 11-4-2010 11:27 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
i would probebly have a daughter thats a tomboy

Queen_Darcy 11-5-2010 12:41 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Well of course, when a girl explores what boys do (sports, drinking etc) it's perfectly fine, but not the other way around without being labelled.

L_eMo_N 11-5-2010 12:49 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I really don't think it's a good thing to even think about "how" you want your child to be. I'd love my child just the same no matter how they turn out.

Rubin0 11-5-2010 12:21 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I was asking it more on hypothetical than a literal level. I was just trying to provoke some thoughts on the perception of gender in our society....it really had nothing to do with people's children.

brothaice 11-5-2010 12:28 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Literal answer: Operant Conditioning.

More relevant answer:
Eh its hard to say because those are the only two choices out of an infinite number of possibilities. But I will say I will let my child make their own choices and they will learn from that and I will love them no matter what.

I guess the thread should be renamed: "do you want to be a supporting parent or a dick?"

Rubin0 11-5-2010 12:34 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I agree about being a dick or not...but adults are subject to operant conditioning as well....and it starts when they first pick up that Barbie doll or fire truck. This behavior and the reinforcement they receive for their behavior carries over into what they expect from their children. While I feel sorry for the kids with douche bag homophobic parents, I do believe people are a product of their environment.

Mulie 11-5-2010 01:02 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Cases where the children are conditioned into behaving that way aren't exactly the norm; nor where they do it as a form of rebellion (inherently impermanent method)... They're instead perpetuated by observational learning, if anything; both the engagement in that behaviour and the negativity surrounding it.

The general image of homosexual behaviour is stereotypical. Masculine women are expected to engage in physical activity, and to be proactive and capable. Such behaviours have positive connotations that are easily graspable. On the contrary, stereotypical femininity's superfluous and abstract in its reasoning. Hatred's always very natural about its inception, but that doesn't make it logical.

RobertsonaIsBack 11-5-2010 03:56 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
this thread is predicated upon a dumb basis and thus every post thus far has been dumb except mine

Bill Kaulitz 11-5-2010 06:57 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I played with barbies and My little Pony when I was younger, but as I grew up, I got more and more Tomboyish. So to me, I'd rather have a feminine boy. He can be the girly one, rather then me.

Chrissi 11-5-2010 07:54 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I'd not care whether my child chose to rigidly follow a gender role or not. It means nothing about what kind of person they'd be, only about what people expect out of them. I don't give a damn what people expect out of them; the only thing I'D expect out of them is that they grow up the way I tried to raise them regardless what gender they are. I'd try to raise them to be respectful and curious when faced with a challenge to their worldview. I'd want my children to express themselves, no matter how they feel, no matter the reason, no matter how socially acceptable it is for them to do so.

Mollocephalus 11-8-2010 01:37 AM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
a society like the one we live in will always try to crush everything that slightly differs from the norm, but that shouldn't stop us. I wouldn't mind my son or my daughter to do whatever they want as long as they are aware of what they are doing.

Rubin0 11-8-2010 07:03 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Here is a good link about a little boy that dressed up as a female character from Scooby Doo. Apparently, there was a lot of backlash from other parents.

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/08...Clink4%7C24191

welsh_girl 11-23-2010 12:31 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
My Daughter is a bit of a Tomboy at a mere 19months, I would rather her grow up playing with most Boys toys than half of the Girls ones you can get (Barbie, Bratz)

I would be worried if I had a boy and at an older age (say, school age) he was a "sissy" as it just feels more socially unacceptable than a Tomboy Girl and more likely to be picked on, but that's just how I feel.

ETA: I should say if I had a Son my opinion would more than likely be completely different.

kommisar 11-23-2010 01:59 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
who cares? if you judge your child for what he or she becomes on their own, you're a ****ing shallow parent.

If my son becomes a sissy or has a more feminine side to him whatev power to him, he'll probably be having friends of the same sort.

If my daughter is a tomboy well I'm pretty sure most girls are at one point, so this really isn't an issue.


This almost falls in the category of what would you rather: your son being gay or your daughter being a lesbian.

HoneyMelonCalibrator 11-23-2010 02:57 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
don't care so long as they were happy

UnkownMan 11-23-2010 03:04 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I'd rather have my daughter be a tomboy.
At least she'd have the same interests with the boys, and not only be interested in dolls and etc...

foxfire667 11-23-2010 03:48 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Publicly speaking, society has taken much more acceptance to females being "tomboys" than males being feminists. This could derive from people still clinging on to the past ways of life where all boys had to be MEN and do MANLY things and anything else was not considered right. Why the society has put it's guard down against females taking kin to having "boy-like interests" is something I'd like to find out, maybe because it's tough to make fun of dominance compared to something more soft and docile. I'm not honestly sure.

Anyway, it really doesn't matter either way. Any form of opposition to something someone likes to do or say just because it is considered "too boy or girlish" is stereotyping genders, which I highly dislike. Nor am I, or will I ever, have a derogatory outlook on a person just because they are interested in something I am not, unless the thing in question goes against common sense, or rationality (such as drinking while driving, dropping out of school, etc). This doesn't mean I might not ask WHY they are interested in what they are, but I certainly wouldn't think of them any less because of it either way.

Chrissi 11-23-2010 11:37 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by foxfire667 (Post 3349272)
Publicly speaking, society has taken much more acceptance to females being "tomboys" than males being feminists.

Typo?

Kilroy_x 12-1-2010 02:39 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I wouldn't care at all. Then again I'm MtF Transgender so I have a different perspective on things.

foxfire667 12-1-2010 03:39 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrissi (Post 3349866)
Typo?

Thread contributor?

remedy1502 12-1-2010 03:41 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
Tomboy cause the coolest girls I know are all tomboy-ish. Kinda. I dunno XD

Sarahate 12-1-2010 03:47 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I would rather have a daughter that is a tomboy than a son who is a sissy.

carlin 12-5-2010 08:57 PM

Re: Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".
 
I'm kind of a feminine guy. I grew my hair long and my hips are naturally feminine. Somehow I have a tomboy for a girlfriend. How's that for an awesome combination. Anyway, because of this I would have to say that I wouldn't care about which one I had as a child. All of you that are so worried about your kid getting bullied for being a little different need to be better parents. Teach the kid that there is no reason to take anyone seriously. Just ignore people who say stupid things to you.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright FlashFlashRevolution