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-   -   feedback required. plus a contest (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=10784)

IronMonk 05-24-2004 02:27 PM

feedback required. plus a contest
 
1 Attachment(s)
hello all, i am here to ask a fovor from you.

i need some people to read the story i am writing and give me some feedback. problem is, it is 24 pages long right now.

www.angelfire.com/pro/rylan/my_story.doc

thanks in advance.

the contest is this:

i will give the person who comes up with the best title for this story 800 credits. runner up gets 200. and last place gets laughed at.

GuidoHunter 05-24-2004 03:44 PM

Do you want grammar and style corrections, or just an overall assessment? It'd help if I knew why you wrote this.

I haven't even gotten through the first page, and I see that it needs extensive grammar revisions, but I'm up for doing it. Just tell me if that's what you want and I'll get on it.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com/

IronMonk 05-24-2004 04:37 PM

i already know it is an atrocity against grammer, all i want is style and story feedback.

IronMonk 05-29-2004 12:20 PM

*bump*

IronMonk 05-31-2004 10:42 PM

*bump*

last time then i let this thread die.

GuidoHunter 05-31-2004 11:31 PM

Okay, I've read the first six chapters. I can't believe I got that far, because calling this story an "atrocity against grammar" gives it far too much credit.

However, so far the story's good, as is your style of writing. I think going back and reading it yourself would do a world of good, though. Gimme another day or two and I'll finish it. I'd have it done, but sleep + work = lots of time out of my day.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

IronMonk 05-31-2004 11:54 PM

thanks a ton.


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