Relationships.
 

Today has been just a really strange and odd day. Not very bad in anyway, but just..strange. My friend is going out with an 8th grader, and its really gotten me thinking about things.

Backstory: It's not as strange as it sounds. My school district is so utterly tiny that the middle school and the high school are in the same building. My friend and I are both freshmen, and 14. The girl he's going with is 13.

Anyway, Im getting to thinking that i'm supposed to be getting a girlfriend too pretty soon. But Im conflicted because im still not over the last one, which wasnt really a one, but it would have been, if the one hadnt moved away over the summer. So lately(lately being the last month about), ive been feeling almost as if im falling for someone who was one of her friends. I dont feel as if i can talk about it with anyone, which is why i feel weird telling my insecurities to an internet forum of people ive never met and probably never will meet..im sure a good percentage of the responces to this post will be flames.

But i think about this these things, which in turn leads me to think about my friend from a county over. His name is Matt. I'm stunned at how he can throw people away. He once dumped a girl who he said was putting out simply because she was going to a summer camp and he wouldnt be seeing her for a 6 weeks or so. But you know, thats probably because hes from a really big school. In a school with 2000-3000+ people, youre probably never going to see the person youve dumped again. Skikamukazi's post about fighting made me realize this. My school, EVEN when you add the middle school kids, only comes out to about 400-500 people. That's tiny. Everyone knows everyone else, so you cant just hook up with someone without everyone knowing about it, becoming a huge deal. I was talking to my friend (the one in my school, going out with the 8th grader) and the girl he's going with over AIM, and they are stunned at how everyone on the eastern seaboard (I live in New Jersey) already know that they're going together. The same went for myself and the girl who i once liked but moved away. She lives in Texas now.

Earlier today, she posted pictures of her new boyfriend on her myspace. I saw them and i cant help but imagine her in a huge school with 3000+ people and it just makes me...ugghh. Its so hard to put into words, but were like..expected to have boyfriends and girlfriends already..and i just dont know if i can. Matt says he wants to hook me up with his girlfriend's friend that he knows, and i know it'll be pointless. I dont feel good writing this, i have quizzes and things at school tomorrow, its 11:15 right now, i still have homework to complete, and im probably not going to get much sleep.

I just can't help but think, why bother???

RE: Relationships.
 

A girlfriend isn't something you decide to get one day. It isn't even someone you decide to share saliva with because you both think eachother is cute. It's also something that very few people aged 14 take seriously. That being said none of your story surprises me. If you do get a girlfriend, it won't be someone that you got "hooked up with". You don't get into random relationships because everyone else is doing it. You may as well have an orgy. I don't think there's such think as a 'short term relationship'. If you're with someone, it's because you can't imagine being with anyone else.

RE: Relationships.
 

Find chicks willing to explore your body. Then again, 14 year old titties are usually snakebites... Was still cool as anything in 8th grade.

RE: Relationships.
 

Honestly the girls i know who are 13 or14 are pretty annoying, but thats just where i live. So i say dont worry about it.The time will come one day. :wink:

RE: Relationships.
 

Those relationships never last...

14 year olds "fall" in "love" and then they kinda fall out...

They start to like someone else.. they do the same thing...

Until you grow mature enough to understand what real love is.

RE: Relationships.
 

there is no such thing as a relationship at 13-14

15 is pushing it

16 is when the majority are done going through puberty and can understand what the opposite sex is. Still iffy

keep growing your balls before you think about being "in love".

RE: Relationships.
 

For the general mass, I agree whole-heartedly, seeing this situation everyday myself. It is so retarded and utterly pointless it sickens me. I got very lucky personally, and was able to find someone that was on the same level of maturity as me, and thus we are coming up on 3 years (turning 16).

For the most part, don't expect to get into anything serious in High School. It's expected to last a few weeks, and that is it. Take advantage of this time period. Make mistakes, learn from them. Practice and experience new things, and develop skills that will actually help you later on in your life when you have decided to look for a serious relationship. Skipping the immature high school relationship in it's entirety probably will make things a bit tougher when you get older. Then again, what do I know, I'm just in High School myself. Possibly, there is some level of maturity I have not yet reached, but I highly doubt it.

RE: Relationships.
 

i say just worry about school and w.e may be going on in your life, and then when you find that "special" girl after joining 489023 different clubs you'll ask her out, go out, and then something will break you up. you shed a tear, move on, then ask another chick out, break up, move on, ask another chick, etc. its the cycle. then you stop at that special chick you "love" but thats when your ALOT older. so now just worry about yourself, and if a chick comes along, go for it, but its not gunna be an everlasting relationship.

RE: Relationships.
 

Pretty much just listen to some of the things everyone here has said.. you're still young right now. In time or later on in life, you will find that "special someone".
I admit I have dated only once in high school. although I felt miserable after a while when it lasted a month, I moved on.
I'm in college now ((well, not this semester but next one coming up.)), and I still haven't found my "special girl". my freinds have always said "don't worry about it. In time, you'll find the right person."
Oh well, once I'm out in the working world I'll have finally found someone to settle down with.
ah who knows right..? bleh.. enjoy your life and things will happen when they happen.

RE: Relationships.
 

Size of the school doesnt really matter, im in a school of 4 to 5 thousand students and i see girls that ive gone out with every day. But i dont really care much for them becuase they were all stuck up and full of themselves. Right now im very very happy with where i am today, i honestly couldnt say me and kelsey are in love but we're pretty damn close.

Decide to get a girlfriend when you are ready, it sounds alot like peer pressure."my friend just got a girlfriend so i think its about time i did" thats peer pressure right there. And its not gonna just happen over night. You really need to get to know he girl(or guy) or its not going anywhere.

Just take some time to think about what you want and what youre ready for, dont go for it just because your friend did.

PS: i wanna go in a school like yours. Mines too big!!!

RE: Relationships.
 

Stay single... a lot less trouble that way.

RE: Relationships.
 

Not really, =/

RE: Relationships.
 

Yea really, you don't have to worry about pretty much anything and you can just worry about yourself, a lot less stress and a lot more freedom.

Yes there are benefits to having a relationship but to me staying single is most logical for a 13-yr-old

RE: Relationships.
 

Well then you dont know how to run a relationship.

RE: Relationships.
 

Oh this i have to hear, by all means, tell us of your relationship skills and relationship experineces falconsfan

RE: Relationships.
 

2 years and 6 days.... enough said.

RE: Relationships.
 

And would you say it's that way for the average person? Or do you have to be superman to get that far??

RE: Relationships.
 

Please dont kill my thread.

It never did anything to you.

Take it to PMs or the GBin

RE: Relationships.
 

I'm not killing I just want to know if 13-yr-old people can have serious relationships (on average) and if so how do you keep it working. I'm trying to keep it as civilized as possible but it's very hard for me because it's a concept I don't seem to grasp.

Re: RE: Relationships.
 

Hate to break it to ya man, but you aren't close to being done with puberty at 16, let alone the phases of maturity not directly linked to puberty. I'm only 20, but compared to most people on the site I'm old...and I've noticed most people seem to think that you get things figured out and stop changing mentally and emotionally at 17-18. This simply isn't true. I've changed more as a person in the last 2 years than I ever thought. There's no real point to that, just an observation.

My advice to the topic--do whatever you feel like. It's really not that big of a deal. If you ask the girl out, you'll most likely go out for a while and break up. You'll get over it. And you might get to experience some physical gratification. If you don't ask her out, you won't start going out. You won't have to deal with the break up, but there's also slim-to-no chance at anything physical. Just do whatever you feel like, and roll with it.