I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

I had no childhood and never did many rites of passage or anything while growing up. Of course, it isn’t like down’s, I can still work and manage difficult things that take brainpower; but as far as my behavior in general, it is still very much childish. I always tend to be very outwardly emotional, I like doing crazy (sometimes dangerous things), I have a desire to be a princess (in a little girl kind of way), and I sometimes like very flowery dresses and stuff.

My adult side comes in with my reasoning and sometimes with my perverted/promiscuous side. Like, if I need to analyze something critically, like Fire Emblem or SMT, I can easily strategize and carefully plan out actions.

This might be in part to Aspergers Syndrome, and also likely due to my abusive and terrible childhood. Either way, it’s probably why I have a general happy and bouncy aura on most days. Other days, it’s more oppressive, but that’s mostly when I’m really sad/angry.

Does anyone else have a similar thing going on?

Additional fact: sometimes I’m an even younger girl in my mind, like prepubescent age girl. This is evidenced by my little headspace (not inherently sexual), where I love teddy bears and pillow forts like nothing else.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

I normally don't take on a normative standpoint when it comes to these things, but I think something needs to be said here.

What you have described is not normal.

It reads like a lack of emotional maturity. It's really obvious from how you've described your "adult side": reasoning, strategy, and perversion aren't signs of maturity. Most people would say something about stability, interpersonal skills, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to the notion of maturity. This isn't really your fault, for reasons you've stated, but I think it's still something that you'll need to address in order to integrate into society properly.

I honestly think that, if you haven't brought this up with a therapist, you should, because emotional maturity is one of the most important skills you can have when it comes to dealing with the real world.

This is going to come off as an attack on your character, and even if it does, I'm being sincere and I hope that you at least listen to what I and others have to say about the topic.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

plz go see a therapist. no troll, posting abt it online clearly isn’t helping you. and it sounds like you could benefit from someone who can

I'm 24 biologically but mental age fluctuates between 4 and 40 on a daily basis

life is great

If you learn to harness what makes you feel young, you can live forever

learning it is just as easy as losing it, those who defeat freedom of information are just as likely to forget it

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.

Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.

I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…

Edit; I also should bring up that I went through consistent therapy from 2014-2017, and it didn’t help too much. No joke,I even still know the therapist’s name. So, if that sort of therapy where I spend 2 hours a week talking to someone won’t help, I don’t think much will

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

To be completely honest, you're getting the wrong idea about why your threads are popular. You shouldn't use that confusion as a reason to not get help.
Think there's some saying like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'? And that really isn't the case here.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

Have you tried one before ?

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

I mean, at least it’s not the osu! community where people were telling me to die and axing my maps/forum posts because of who I am. Honestly, considering the places I’ve been, this joint isn’t too bad.

Besides, there are some people here that actually like me, and it isn’t too small a minority either. I mean, if you personally hate me, good for you, not like losing validation from one person is gonna kill me…

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

If all you're taking out of that is that you think i personally hate you, then there's really nothing else I can say.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

I'm not here to psychoanalyze you but, I don't think you've demonstrated those traits here. It's been a long trial on FFR. I'll leave it at that for now.

I see this argument ALL the time and I say the same thing each time.

I see a therapist. I've seen a therapist for over 15 years. For childhood trauma. I felt the same thing you described over the years, but someone close to me said something that made me feel better about it:

"Therapy and medicine don't kill your 'self', they make you MORE 'yourself.'"

As in, therapy turns you into a better, happier version of yourself.

---------------------------

I think you'll have a hard time relating to others if you don't at least open yourself up to other people's advice, suggestions, and feedback. You might hit a wall with social interactions, or find yourself with a lot of relationship issues if you continue with this mindset. This, again, brings me back to my point about self-awareness. I don't think you're quite there yet. (Neither am I, fwiw.)

EDIT: I read your amendment. There are ineffectual therapist-client relationships. That doesn't invalidate the method as a whole. I'm here telling you, in good faith, that I still think you would benefit from therapy.

Let me add one more thing:

Somebody very close to me lived her whole life thinking that the way she was raised was normal and healthy. It wasn't: she was emotionally manipulated and abused by her mother for years, and it wasn't until talking to me, her friends, and her therapist that she realized that there was something better for her out there.

You (general you) live in your own mindset, worldview, and with your own unique history. You'll almost never "reach the outside" of your own mind without consulting and actually LISTENING to others... not just deflecting any contrary information. That's a part of growing up.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

You have all the symptoms of what I would call being an angsty teenager who thinks that they’re so special individually that seeing a professional to try to help with very real mental health issues would “destroy who they are”. You sound like I did when I was 16 and boy are you in for a rough future if you don’t grow up quickly.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

If it’s really that bad of a mental condition, name the condition itself. I guarantee that what I described with mental age represents no known psychological conditions. At worst, it’s somply immaturity

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

“Mental issues” =\= a psychological disorder. It means mental issues. I’ve dealt with terrible social anxiety and bad alcoholism for a couple years now( and have been seeing a professional to get to the roots of it). I know I have issues and want to help the. Before they snow ball and I end up in a grave with a self inflicted gunshot wound.

I’m just getting the vibes from you that you’re admitting to having negative features about yourself but refuse to see someone about them because it would make you not unique anymore.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

think you read his post wrong queenashy

dbp prolly nailed it

edit: dat ninja rip

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

being "unique" as an emotional wreck is far from something that anyone in this world wants, and most people realise that before it's too late. like dapackback said, therapists and the such are simply there to specifically help you to figure out yourself, not to _distance_ your being. self-awareness in these sorts of cases would've already given you the red light inside that something is wrong.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

r/woooosh

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

because everyone generally has to conform to societal norms in some way that it makes it appear that something is different about you. Deep down I see a person like anyone else, and I believe it’s just that you’re slowly figuring out how exactly to fit in the society we’ve been presented with. Ideally in a way that doesn’t really change who you are for the worse, but only for the better. With practice and repetition, we can change some of our behaviours so that we can benefit from them. Therapists can help you work on that, just so you can survive a bit easier, and not fall into pitfalls as often.

It’s also something you can work on by yourself. I haven’t found my ideal therapist yet, so it’s just me and whatever I can pull together. I try to take in a lot of inspiration, and it slowly manifests through me— even if it’s as simple as, pretending I’m in the mindset of a professional smash player or something. Daydreaming about that level of focus, and mental composure, when I know I need some of that. The more you work on your mind being flexible, the easier it is to navigate through the pegs of life.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

Nothing about what you've described have anything to do with your actual age or maturity. Reaching age milestones doesn't make your life change in any significant way overnight, these changes happen gradually over a long time. Some stuff might stick with you a long time even after you think you should have "grown out of it"

Being outwardly emotional or liking flowery dresses are not even associated with young people in my mind, they're simply associated with women of all ages.

Doing crazy things and feeling promiscuous I would associate with teens and young adults; you're acting just your age on that one

Thinking critically is a skill all people over the age of maybe, 6 or 7, should be developing. I remember specifically having "Critical Thinking" portions at the end of nearly every test I took in school which usually involved applying the same concepts from the test in a way we hadn't seen before.

Even loving teddy bears and pillow forts means jack shit. I started my anime and plushie collection at age 14, it's still going and I've never gotten rid of a single thing. That means that I still like the exact same characters and the merch that I got at age 14. All this means is that my general interests and tastes have stayed the same. I've matured and grown in a million other ways in that time.

Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…
 

if you're going to post personal things in public fora instead of on your profile, you have to be prepared for the fact that not all reactions are going to be in agreement with you.

People suggesting courses of action for you when you've basically asked them to tell you courses of action is a thing that will happen.

Consider that people's advice is coming from a place of wanting to help you and consider that if you aren't actually interested in taking contrary opinions to heart, that you should stop soliciting them.