What would be going through your mind...
 

If you were hit by this little situation.

This is some back story to explain your cause for concern.

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Last weekend, you're getting out of work late and you see that you've received a text message from one of your best friends saying "I'm about to do something irrational. If you're gonna be there for me, great. If not, well...".

This friend of yours is quite cynical for, what seems to be, the sake of being cynical; particularly about society. He has big trust issues, and while he's one of the most popular, well liked, out going people you know, says he feels like he has maybe two real friends that he actually cares about and actually care about him, one of them being you (outside of family). From what he's told you, the only real reason you can see for his cynicism is growing up with an abusive, pill-addict of a father. As much as he hates him for putting his mother through all the bullshit, he still visits him regularly only to eventually see him high on pills at some point. No matter how he tries to over come it, he seems to always find a way to compare himself to his father. However, the things he's complained to you about don't seem to make a connection to this childhood. He's told you that he's frequently contemplated suicide though, coming as close as putting the gun in his mouth before thinking of how much pain it would cause his mother.

You respond to the text asking for a definition of "irrational", to which he responds "I'm looking at about 135 pills... Overdose?". As soon as you get home, you call him, hoping for the best, and he answers, thankfully. If he weren't living six hours away, you normally would drive to his house. You can tell he's crying over the phone, and though he keeps repeating that he's "done" and "can't take it anymore" because he's "been there for so many people, and hasn't gotten anything back", he explains to you that he feels like he's been abandoned by his best friends and his family. He tells you that his family isn't speaking to him because he's broke (while he gives excuses like "food", you know good and well he spends his money on alcohol and clubs nearly every night). He's really upset that his two best friends aren't contacting him outside of Facebook.

(You are a college student and are very busy. At one point a few weeks ago, you got a good conversation in with this friend, and informed him that the upcoming week would be particularly busy for you. However, this friend called you in the middle of the night every night that week. You didn't answer any of those phone calls, mostly because you were asleep. You have, however, talked with him before the incident at hand.)

While your friend is talking, you're on Facebook, trying as hard as you can to get a hold of his friends at his college, telling to get to him as soon as possible. While you're consoling your friend on the phone, you're also trying to stall for as long as you can so that the people that live on campus with him can get to him.

After about an hour of calm conversation, the tension has subsided, and it no longer seems your friend is about to kill himself, and you proceed to give him the conversation he so desperately wants, not going to sleep until 5:30 in the morning. Before you hang up, you tell him about what you were doing on Facebook, and he tells you that "If I were gonna go through with it, I would have told you while I was doing it."
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Nearly a week has passed since this incident. It's Thursday night, the beginning of your weekend, and you're playing your favorite video game. You're in the zone until you have to take a huge dump at 12:50. You return to your room at 1:00, very relieved, and check your phone. You have a new message received at 12:55; it's from this same friend.

"I did it. It's over."

You're by your computer, so you quickly check Facebook. The last thing your friend has posted is "I can't believe I did it..... Done.".... This was preceded fifteen minutes before with "Uhh, I don't know... Maybe... Yeah..."

What would be going through your mind right about now?

I can think of at least one thing... :/

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

oh shit. sorry man.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

I'd probably not be his friend at a certain point before that timeline, actually. If i was, i don't know that I'd care after they went through with it. The fact that they would've put me through all of that bullshit just to, in the end, waste said work trying to help them would end any sympathy from me. Call me callous if you will.

And if this situation isn't hypothetical, that sucks, but don't beat yourself up. Give yourself an appropriate amount of time to grieve and move on. Remember fondly the times that you had together.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

yeah, i would be quite worried about suicide. honestly even though it is irrational id feel as though it were almost my fault for not getting to the phone when he called or checked facebook earlier. even though it was completely out of my control, what happend and when it happend. but thats personally. like i said it would be irrational to blame myself, again because it was completely out of my control. but id have the feeling that i should have been there. or i should have done something in time. know what i mean?

edit: unless he didnt do anything and was just talking about it and making it up for attention. at that point id be quite upset at em, and refer him to get some help, considering it seems like it would help. but i dont know. i can only talk from experience on the suicide side of it D:

edit2: i dont know what exactly your looking for here, so i hope i didnt ramble in the wrong direction. if i did, ill feel like a total douchebag

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

The first thing I thought was "Wow, he actually ****ing killed himself."

For the most part, I think he's being melodramatic. The conversations we have had about his college experiences are very entertaining. He's made plenty of friends through his job, roomates, and parties. Apparently, though, he feels like they only like him because he's fun to be around while everyone's drinking, and he is, he's fun to be around. He's yet to get the same kind of connection, communication, and friendship that he's gotten with me, and from what I can gather, nothing else is good enough, and he wants that kind of companionship constantly.

About a month ago, he broke up with his girlfriend, who he was really in to. I thought his reason was bullshit, but he said he felt as if he was "trapped" in the relationship though... The relationship he had before this one lasted a year, and he said he was lying to himself, convincing himself he was happy in that one. He says he prefers to be single, and enjoys the freedom to flirt with anyone he pleases, and has ****ed a lot of girls in between these relationships. As a matter of fact, he'd had sex with some girl the night before I had talked him out of suicide. Apparently, the sex he's getting isn't good enough either.

I feel as though he's being very selfish overall, and I think his cynicism, trust issues, and stubbornness are too bad of a combination for him to have even thought of trying to change for the better. I really think he killed himself.

I haven't called him yet, and I don't plan on it. If he didn't do it, he'll call me and probably bitch me out for not caring enough about him. If he did do it, then I've no sympathy. He had a few mishaps with his friends, and he ****ed himself financially, if he's too irrational to see himself past it, I can't be burdened with that, as much as it seems he's trying to put it off on other people.

"My family won't talk to me"....
No shit... You shitted your money away.

"My friends won't talk to me... Not even you, all it takes is a phone call."
I'm sorry I'm not able to talk to you every single night in the middle of the night, even though I have class in the morning. Time gets slim in between class, homework, and my job.

Maybe I'm making excuses. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but maybe I need to be. Maybe I'll feel differently once I find out whether he did it or not.

Sorry for ranting on you FFR, by the way.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

well given from experience depression can hit fast and really really hard. i mean if he really did it thats awful. but if he didn't, and he calls you and yells at you for not caring, i wouldnt really bitch em out for it. it seems like the wrong way to go with someone that mentally unstable. obviously he doesn't know how to deal with his depression, and wants help but is going about it in a very crude manner. someone needs to recognize he needs professional help, instead of just ignoring him because you think hes an attention whore.


edit: i should probably just shut my mouth at this time.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

I think he actually has tried to see a therapist... If not, we have talked about it, and he thinks therapy is bullshit, basically.

I don't think he'd go through with therapy anyway.


He's not supposed to be drinking n shit either. He has post-concussion syndrome, and the doctors specifically told him not to drink. I don't know how much of an effect that's had on him. He's had the thoughts before he hit his head, but he's drank a shit ton since he did, and that was almost a year ago.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

If he's becoming too much of a nuisance gradually break contact. Given that he's apparently unstable on the side of a depression, a sudden break from someone he considers a good friend might be too much. I've been a suicide hotline for some people for extended periods of time, and if you start ignoring unimportant things eventually they stop coming to you with their problems, and at that point you can either warily bring yourself back into friendship with said person, making it clear you have no intention of helping them through any bullshit unless they actually need the help, or you can break off all contact knowing that you caused little to no damage.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

He's in the hospital right now, he's alright.
He tried OD'ing on Nyquil and muscle relaxers, took at least 30 of them.

The fact that he was so vocal about, posting on Facebook and texting people about it, tells me this was just for attention. If he really wanted to end his life, he wouldn't be as vocal about it, and honestly, there are more effective ways of doing it.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

can you really even die from nyquil

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

Yes, you can absolutely die by an overdose of Nyquil. Actually, you can overdose on any medication, get very sick and even die. Nyquil contains Tylenol, which can be very dangerous when you take too much.

I'm very shocked after reading all that btw...

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

It takes a weak person to consider suicide. It takes an even weaker person to fail at it.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

i use to sneak gulps on nyquil when i was a kid every day because of how much i loved the taste : xxxxxxxx

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

this x1000

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

I used to take doses of NyQuil when I was 13 or 14 just to go to sleep. Now I just take sleep aides.

So far, I've known of one friend that committed suicide. No one knew until she killed herself. Turned out it had to do with her and her step-mom or something like that. It was about 9 years ago when I was a sophomore in high school.

Her "parents", or parents, weren't very helpful when they had the ceremony on a weekday when her friends were in school. Some flat out skipped school to attend. My parents wouldn't allow me to attend.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

guy's a douche, get away from him

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

Pretty much how I feel about it... At this point, I'm just gonna wait and see.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

I know for a fact that the only person that can save me is me. If I wanted to kill myself then that would be completely up to me and I would never want anyone to blame themselves for my decision. At a certain point people need to stop taking responsibility for when people decide that they want to do this. It is absolutely not your fault or your responsibility to save this person. As cold as it sounds, I often distance myself from people like this because they are emotional leeches. The fact that he texted you was a cry for attention. If he really wanted help he would have contacted someone physically closer to him that could come to his aid. I would really love to put my thoughts together better but I have been drinking and this is coming out muddled. I'll add more later.

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

esm

you seriously need new friends.
just announce your suicide on fb, get a name change, then start from there

edit: whoops didnt read post. :S

Re: What would be going through your mind...
 

It sounds like this guy just wanted your attention - if you really were his "friend", he'd be listening to you and accepting what you say.

Someone I know and still talk to today was hit hard with depression and went to marijuana - but recovered. I convinced him about not needing to worry so much, he listened, was tolerant, and then became the friend I knew again.

I'll be honest, if I had to rely on my parents to solve problems, I'd be depressed (and very angry) lmao. It's better to think things through yourself sometimes, and definitely with close friends. Being self-motivated has really helped me out