So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

For ones who don't know, yes I'm gay. [u don't say etc etc]

Anyway, for 10+ years I've kept this under wraps as much as I could with them, though was never either confident enough to break the news or just feared rejection or whatever else may have happened had I broken the news any earlier.

But I don't know what compelled me to coming out tonight. It may have been the fact that I officially rented my own apartment surpassing the need for a co-signer. Maybe I felt like since I am moving out again, I should just... let them know the truth now and have the entire "feeling" of it get the **** off my chest.

Because either way, I wouldn't have been phased with any reaction, honestly. My mentality has changed when I've been living, taking care of and supporting my own. I honestly give no ****s for sympathy or opposition. Maybe that is what compelled me into coming clean: just get it out of the way and show no emotion over any kind of reaction.

So I did it. The phrase: Mom . . . Dad . . . . . . . I'm gay". Ackward ****ing silence for a hot 30 seconds. I stared down, waiting for SOMEONE to react. Then the silence was broken by my dad:

"Ken, you're an adult now. This is your personal life and we are not in control of that. But you know that's wrong, right?"

That's the end of my story. I commenced silence for the rest of the talk, didn't say another word. My dad was "cool" with it, but thinks I'm wrong and spilled religious banter here and there. My mom is pissed.



Glad to know that I got my huge boulder off of my chest.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

ITT: 2000+ year old book telling people how to live
Wonder if there will be any drama around this... not like I'm promoting that, religion arguments have already been beaten to death.

Regardless it's good to hear you got that over with and lived to tell the tale.
Not something some people take easily.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Who cares if you are gay, you have just as much a right to be miserable as the rest of us. At least you had the guts to tell them, kudos to you sir. I wish you the best.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Good to hear you're comfortable enough with it to get it off your chest and let people know. That's a huge deal to some people. Best of luck with it overall with them.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Is it wrong to be gay? thread
V2


It better fuccen not be.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Glad you helped yourself over the possible thoughts and reactions of others, especially your parents.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Glad you got it off your chest, bro. Sorry about your parents giving you sh** about it. :'(

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Flipsta, nice job finally telling them. Hopefully things go well for you.

Religion is hilarious when it comes to subject.

Good for you.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Congrats! Good to hear their reaction didn't hit you hard. Being gay isn't wrong, living your life by a book is wrong. (Believing in God is not wrong!)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

This X ∞ = Correct.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I can't believe your parents were pissed... I mean sure it's their belief but you are their son. They should be happy with you because no one can control your sexuality.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Unfortunately that's not how a lot of parents see it -___-

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Takes a lot of courage to come out to your parents. I hope this thread doesn't spiral out of control. Hopefully people are mature enough to keep negative opinions to themselves because this isn't the place for them.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Sounds like typical Pinoy parents. The mom is always pissed. She'll 'likely' feel like she failed you for awhile, but they get over it.

Isn't it nice to have just gotten it over with? I think it's a joyous feeling.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I appreciate you all for supporting my behalf, seriously. I'm not the type to boast here but I'm sure I did the right thing just taking the hits and moving on.

At the end of the day, they are still my parents and I love them. But if they are pissed [lol mom] over the fact, well.. Idgaf. Pce~

EDIT: And oh just to throw this in the bag, my dad is CONVINCED that I can change my sexuality. Anyone want to share a cup of LOL with me? Please I have plllllllenty.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I can say that you waited for the right time honestly, because your father mentioned that he isn't in control of your personal life now -- I can't imagine if you told them about being gay when you were much younger.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Sounds about right XD... I know the feeling U_U






XD

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Believe me, I'm VERY convinced. I brought this up in the conversation, the only time I spoke up betwixt the fact he keeps bringing that up.

I'm convinced I wouldn't be here speak with you all about this. Yes... it's sad, but I've learned to accept it. He touches me, he gets Kung Fu Furry into the next millennium.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Live how you wanna live, your parents can accept it or can not accept it but it doesn't change you

also i'm with Dossar on this one, glad he didn't go all "we can fix this son don't worry" on you and left it at just "that's wrong" which he's obviously still wrong about (lol) but congratulations :]

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

A lot of times parents will react badly and eventually grow to accept it. Most parents don't just lose the love for their child easily. Good for you for getting it off your chest, it's so much better to just be upfront and honest in my opinion.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Kudos to you Flipsta for having the guts to tell them, it must have taken a lot of courage. Sorry to hear about your parents' reactions though. :/ Hopefully they'll learn to accept you for who you are and things will work out in the long run.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

You know though, I'm glad they reacted the way they did. They were honest and I respect that.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

our parents grew up being spoon fed wrong ideas. When they were kids prejudice was force fed with a belt(half the time)

that is actually a pretty normal reaction I feel from their generation. I'm sorry it couldn't work out better but you don't need to make your parents happy, as long as your happy. You already know everything I'm saying but it's good to say it anyways haha

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

y u dad so mean!

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

asdl;'

Siggied

Also, congrats, I'm sure that was the toughest thing you've ever done.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Ken, I knew it was only a matter of time before you had to say it, and so you did. Good job on that. :)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Why people can't just leave other people to their own lives I have no idea.

A short checklist:
Is it hurting anybody?
Is it any of your business?
Is there a very good reason to intervene?

If the answers are "no" then leave them be!

People just REALLY need to learn to mind their own business sometimes, and just let others live in peace.

And yeah it could have been worse, but this judgmental stuff really needs to stop. My view is who cares if you are gay/straight/bi/alien/robot/zombie? Likewise who cares what your gender is, what your age is, etc... ? I mean really unless someone wanted to get intimately involved with you, why should any of that matter .. at all?

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Yes I would like to share a cup of the epic Lulz

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Hey Ken, good job! I hate it when parents think it's wrong to be gay, but what can you do about it? Again, congrats and I wish the best luck to you in life :)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

credit to you mate, that took some balls~

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Oh hi again Kenny after about 3 billion years. x_x

Sorry to hear about your parents reactions, but at least you're in control of your life and have your shit together; I made the mistake of coming out (well, revealing I was involved with another guy; I doubt they could even comprehend me "coming out" in the traditional sense) after a long period of emotional turmoil and trouble with them, and I knew they'd be opposed to it, but I decided they deserved to know the truth. Boy was I wrong. I wouldn't be in the piece of shit situation I am now had I not done that, and would have probably been with my beloved a lot more. It's bad enough only the close family knows about it...the rest of my family is even worse, and if the news breaks, I'll have absolutely no support, something my father has been holding over my head. My mother is the only support I really have, but she can't really do anything for me, because the family is in a tough situation now and is relying on each other, so that's kind of put her in the corner, and even she's getting sick of my shit now, because of problems with school and everything...I don't think she really understands how all this is affecting me. I hope I can get out of this soon...anyway, enough of my bitching.

I'm glad you got that over with and that things are going much better than with me, ahah. Just keep on truckin' and all.

~WM

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Could have gone worse, I applaud your courage. Congrats~

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I'm sorry to hear that yours didn't turn out well.. just hang in there until you got your grip at independence. As far as family members hearing about me, my dad mentioned somewhere along the lines of "disappointment" coming from both sides of family, if they ever find out. How every fuccen body in the family has a mission statement on how my happy ass is going to live my life, yeah right.

In due time man. When you can, take charge of your life and do what makes you happy. Even if it has to part with family.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Yeah, it'd be much easier to deal with if these people still didn't have so much control over my life. I've had a stroke of luck recently, though, and if parting with the family and going out on my own is what's going to have to happen, I'm just gonna go through with it. Me and my love need each other and I can't let anything get in the way of our freedom and happiness, so I'm making a game plan of sorts. I have people outside who know about it and are there to support me, and hopefully with their help I can move beyond this and take my life into my own hands. Thanks for listening and supporting, Ken. We definitely need to talk more...but for now I'm going to sleep.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Props on coming out! :) Hope everything goes swell for ya.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

oh my god...

It's a cup of pure lulz
I MUST TRY THIS BEFORE I DIE

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Hey that's awesome beer bro! =D

Just give your parents time to adapt. The reaction may have been pretty ass, but it's still a shock to people with these morals.

After like, a week, things should be just fine! =D It's not like they had time to prepare for this. Not that it's bad, but their minds processed very very quickly the question "how the **** am I supposed to react????"

It's all gonna be cool bro! =)

Pouring a Carlsberg down right now to your achievement! =D

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

*Massive* props to you, flipsta -- it always takes guts to do something like that, especially in front of parents who are obviously religiously-rooted.

There may be disappointment, but honestly, you have to live your life for yourself. It sounds like the sudden surge of self-sufficiency helped you work up the courage to keep in line with that notion. Your family, at the very least, will still love you even if they may vehemently disagree with your lifestyle.

Congrats!

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I'm proud of you, Ken. I'd imagine it takes a lot of courage so good job on you.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Very brave on your part. I hope everything works out.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

i don't have enough courage to come out yet. my parents are religious as **** as well. doesnt it seem like it always happens this way?

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I was expecting more bad reaction really, but as long as tables aren't flipped and you aren't harmed, how my parents reacted is probably the best way.. until they show how they really feel about it later in the week, which I will be paying close attention to.

Seeing other coming clean posts from other sites, I have heard better acceptance from religious parents. And worse... much worse. Come clean to your parents when you are prepared and know what to do for any reaction. ANY.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I'm very proud of you man. That takes a lot of guts. Now go on and live happily :3 *hi5*

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Kenny<3

It's easy to say that you waited for the right time and all, but I can't imagine that it's as easy as just picking a time. I'm close with both of my parents. I wouldn't want to keep a secret like that from them. Rejection would be devastating. Even though you're your own man now, it must be rough knowing how your parents feel about you. We can always hope that they'll change and accept you, and they might surprise you, but I think it's more likely that they'll never see you the same again.

Yeesh sorry I'm being such a downer! Anyway I'm saying all this because I'm sure you've thought about all of these things for years and years and it took amazing confidence to go through with it. Hearts, huggles, and agnry faices everywhere<3

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

There's some cousin in your family right now who's like 'Yes, I'm no longer the biggest disappointment to the family, at least for now!' You totally made their day :-p

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Hmmmm...

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

:')

You were honest, so although you might not have preferred the answer you received, they have their right to be honest as well. lolbible

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I was the black sheep of my religious half of the family for moving in with a bf when I was 18. When people found out, suddenly my cousin who drank too much a little too often wasn't the topic of conversation.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Well you know that they still love you. They didn't kick you out or anything. And thats truly what matters.

Props man. I'll go ahead and drink my next beer to you.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

way to take what most of us would consider the hardest step grats

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Damn Ken, this must have been hard. I have yet to come out to my parents about this, so i commend you for stepping up and telling them, regardless of their reaction. It's not wrong at all that your gay, and you can't control their opinions i guess.

Congrats (:

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Respect bro, I know how hard that could be cause of my friend when he came out his parents kicked him out and he was homeless for a while.
Good thing knowing it's off your chest and that though, must be a huge weight off of your shoulders.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I honestly think the best time to walk out of that particular closet is shortly after you move out of your parent's home.

Because at least then it's less of a gamble and more of a "This is how I am like it or leave it" and you'll be very far away when the shit rains down if it does.

Though I wouldn't know for sure since I'm straight and obsessed with vaginae (apparently this is the plural of vagina who knew)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I'm bisexual, I've never really seen why everybody makes such a big deal of telling their parents. Telling my parents hasn't even ever crossed my mind. It isn't really any of their business, who cares.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

hi five dawg. stand up to your oppressor, take pride in being you. you are an individual and you are able to set your own standards for yourself.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I've seen this so many times, it's ridiculous.

omfg yes. You have no idea how many times I've debated with my parents (and grandparents) about stuff like this.

While not necessarily the nicest thing to say, it, unfortunately, is true :P

Congrats to you though, it's something to be proud of, to stand up to your parents and take the religious beating they're giving.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I've already congratulated you on this effort in Profile Chat, but I'm going to do it again. It takes a lot of guts, but you built up the courage and at least it's one big weight off your chest. So good for you. :)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Oh, you think your life is hard? Man, I have to keep telling my parents that I'm not gay.

Seriously though, good on you. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, that's bullshit and you probably know it.

btw
seconded, if I had a nickel for every "help reddit my parents kicked me out because I told them I'm The Last Dickbender" post I could probably get myself a reasonably fancy dinner.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Sounds like a potential movie deal, man

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Perhaps if you could ever convince your parents that you *can't* just change that you're gay, even if you wanted to, might be the biggest achievement into them accepting you for how you are.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

But... that's what it was... I don't see where you're going with this.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

how dare you use copyrighted indeed(R)(C)(TM) property

I hereby request a royalty payment of three (3) posts, to be delivered to our forum immediately

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

My computer derped and showed rubix's as the first post and this was the only page :(

Ignore my retarded posts.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I have a transsexual uncle but that's all I know. And far from disappointment at least from my side. I know I've done my part and my responsibility. If by disappointment meaning I'm not going to partake exchanging my gene pool, I should be doing the family a great deal of a favor...

Most of the time, my parents talk about people's unorthodoxies and make it a big deal. I could have been trying to get something out of them knowing their own son is one of those people they shun and put down a lot.

They'll accept me eventually, but I highly doubt they can accept the fact being gay isn't something simple as just "liking the same sex because I chose to start it on my own". My dad even brought up some gays get married to women just to be morally correct. This is also why I stopped talking.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

That's good dude. Tbh I think it's a lot more accepted (still not close to fully) in society, just adults/older people seem to have a problem with it. My dad, I know, would be pissed considering he is very religious and I would probably never tell him.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

This explains my situation, except I'd lean more towards curious.
I'm not tight with my family. They love me to death, but we don't really talk much. Parents keep yelling at each other so I see no point in telling them personal stuff.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

I actually didn't know that you were gay.

It's also quite surprising to not only see a lot of people admitting that they too share the same fate, but also to see a lot of people being entirely supportive of it. Congratulations on mustering up the courage to tell your parents -- when you have clashing morals (especially within religious families), things can get downright ugly.

EDIT: and also, awesome to all of you openly admitting and being confident that people will respect your opinions, because it definitely seems like that is the case here. :)

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

When did you realize you were gay?

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

a shame your parents think "wrong" of you.


honestly it just makes you another person I don't see the big deal with being gay hehu

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Very young of age... about the age of 6-7 when I started to "act funny" around male counterparts, but didn't admit it to myself until 6th grade. I kept it under wraps since then, kept it a secret so hard as if my life depended on it. I acted to the point where no one finds out, even got myself to go out with girls just to see if that'll change anything.


Nope.avi

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

While support from someones parents can be crucial and important to an individual and their intentions, it's not always necessary with the rest of the world, especially your friends support you. I for one have always accepted you without question as a great man Flip :D Don't let any hard feelings from your parents ruin the mood for you. Be free with that shit <3

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

You're going to have an awkward phase where your parents are going to get used to it, but once that passes, you can worry about bigger things. Of course, that's saying if they let it pass...

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Congrats on having the courage to do that. For me, starting to come to terms with myself being bi, probably won't let any of my family know for many years, but might try and tell to my mum sometime in the next year or so.

She's told me many times before that she doesn't care if I was gay or not years ago, just that I be confident and everything in life, and try to have a good future...but it's still hard to think about me having to tell her one day :/

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Glad to see you felt it was the right time bro. Hope they properly come around soon and see there' nothing wrong with having different sexualities.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

big congrats and props for having the guts to tell your parents (y)


and hmmm this looks good

*sip*

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

Well, sounds like your dad already knows it's not a choice to me...'gays get married to women', implying they're still gay and therefore, don't have the choice of not being gay even though their actions are straight. Maybe your dad's gay himself...

Well, you can be happy knowing that at least society accepts gays as they are.
Honestly, in your shoes I'd probably not talk to my parents for years if they told me I was choosing 'wrong'. You're a better person than me.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

@Cavernio: How my dad "curses" and make such implications, I actually wouldn't be surprised. It crossed my mind during the first talk, even though I doubt it. But he claims to "hate" gay people.

I didn't want to bump this back up, but after only two days of coming out the closet to my parents, the relationship has whirled into lower hell, and am willing to vent it here since I can.. and I trust that the community will continue to take the situation in a sane manner:

Getting out of work last night I get a text from my dad saying we need to talk. Hmm, de ja vu, I wondered. So I got home and we did. The talk: he and my mom does not want to see me anymore. They are not going to accept the fact I am the way I am and are STILL convince I can change it. Until I change my ways, get a wife and kids, I am no longer welcomed in the house nor am I considered their son. Every word verbatim. The folks' solution: Live a lie. It's better than going to hell for being gay. Perfect logic makes perfect sense..

Disowned? Pretty much. Didn't say a word again because actually expected all this. Nor do I have

They throw out how I am selfish, always thinking of myself, when in reality I came back for them to be a family again and help out with mortgage. Apparently, it didn't work out and being gay aggravated the already shaky relationship. I got called dirty. And in this discussion, more religious banter came out and that's where it got irritating to even listen. Sodom and Gomorrah here, your fate is going to hell there. In my head I kept laughing.

They want me to move out as soon as possible. I told them I'm moving out on the 10th. They said can you make it any sooner?

But anyway, I'm actually am very glad I told these folks of mine my true self, because I in turn got to see their true colors. I don't know who is the bigger hypocrite here, please tell me. And to be honest, I am the slightest phased by the situation, though I'm just a bit shocked they would go this far. I can only imagine what they had done to me if I came out any younger or sooner. To add to their insecurity, they said if any other family member finds out, they claim they're going to be looked at as failures.

I'm letting family members know very soon.

Re: So I finally came clean to my parents.
 

you are a badass

if that's the way they treat you, good riddance. did your parents expect you to be the key to heaven? lol.