Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Sorry I took it so personally it's just that do not consider Shayne and I to be a failure or mistake in any way.

What I have with Shayne is nothing like what I had with Jeff. I was in love with Jeff in the beginning but then he became abusive and I wasn't in love with the person that he had become. I always hoped that he would change but he didn't. I had sex with him after he became abusive and I was unhappy but I thought it might help in some way, I see that the logic behind that was dumb and imature.

With Shayne I know that I am in love because even after almost two years I still get butterflies in my stomach when he does something romantic. We truly care for eachother, he never hurts me on purpose and we talk through are problems because we truly want to make this last. I was scared at first that having sex with Shayne might hurt our relationship but it only made it stronger, I'm sharing myself with the one I love. When the time came and I felt ready he asked me a few times if I was sure and I reassured him that I felt it was the right time. When making love with Shayne I can feel the difference between sex with him and sex with Jeff in my heart. I don't feel like I'm being used or anything I just feel close to Shayne and loved.

I wanted to wait until I was married because I was raised that way but when I got older I realised that waiting until marriage wasn't right for me. I do not regret having sex with Shayne at all and even if him and I break up I will never see him as a mistake because of the love that we have shared. I really don't know how else to explain it but until you have had the experience of being in deep love and making love you can't possibly know how it feels.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

I'm only pointing out that everyone -always- feels like they are in such deep love that nobody else can possibly understand how unique and pure and true it is...at the time.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

As long as you're mature and intellegent about it, and you use the proper protection, premaritial sex should not really be an issue. I think that sex and marriage are two completely separate things and they should be treated as such.

In a way, if you're waiting to be married before you have sex, then sex becomes a bit of the motivation to get married. If you chose to abstain from sex until marriage, then sex can become a bit of a reason to look forward to marriage. In a way, I that its downgrading the level of commitment.

Think of it this way,

If you have sex with someone and they end up not being the person you really want to spend your life with, (and you used protection and didn't contract and STD or get pregnant) then all you're left with is some regret.

However, if you marry someone and then they end up being someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with, you could end up with a bit more trouble than just regret, with financial issues and such.

I do think that if you choose to have sex it should be with someone that you love, and trust. You should at least -try- to have it be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but it shouldn't be held on the same level as marriage.



And as far as waiting until a government assigned age to have sex...

I think that says it all.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

idk just dont be stupid and it should be ok

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

you have a chapstick dick and your gf had mosquito bite titties

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

That is a little uncalled for in this thread.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

in my opinion, i think that its . . . a bit hard to wait for the "right person" to find you. anyway, i think that people should not be bound by religion. people are people. they can do whatever they want, with the exception of flying. don't ask. lol. anyway, i believe that religion is just a twisted version of people's beliefs, meaning to delude people from reality. there are many questions to religion. such as "does the bible actually record real events?" and "is religion a good thing?" i do not think that people should live their lives with religion. i believe that, like society, religion has failed this planet. i also think that half of the technology we have stinks and ruins our perspective on real-life things. anyway, back on topic. if people want to make love, then go right ahead, if that's what they want to do, then who's stopping them? and if they are bound by religion, that's okay. . . but they should learn that religion has flaws, just like evryone and everything else. so make a good decision every once in a while. okay?

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

"Society has failed this planet"?

That's a pretty broad statement, and I'm going to have to ask you to clarify.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

In addition to that, you need to be a bit open-minded, particularly when it comes to religion. Anyone in CT might have religious beliefs, but they don't bring it into the conversation due to the fact that it causes arguments.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

I think religion causes more arguments in this world than just about anything else - especially when people get into religious discussions on the internet. People can be pretty ruthless in the cyber world, so yes, keeping it out of here, especially the CT thread is ideal for sure.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Religion doesn't have to be BANNED from discussion in critical thinking. Religion, like any other factor influencing a person's beliefs, only becomes a problem when a person doesn't back up his statements with something physical, like a quotation.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Well, maybe I should explained that a bit more. You pretty much completed the rest of what was in my head. I like hearing how a person's religious views factor into their opinions when and if they explain how and why.

I don't mean ban it at all - but like you said, back up what you are saying definitely so that others at least understand.

By keeping it out I just meant the arguments.





Back to the thread...

That's a laugh. Assigned sex age?!

Kids are starting puberty earlier and earlier these days, which means that hormones are going to be raging and sex is going to be something that has to be talked about seriously earlier on than it has been previously. Assigning a sex age... if anyone actually chooses to enact anything in that regard they are not being very intelligent. There are already statutory rape laws for those 16 and under that are tested constantly.

I don't think that is even a possible concept.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Not only is that a laugh, that is the exact point the person was making that you quoted partially and out of context. Maybe you should quote the full passage before reacting to it...though if you'd quoted the full passage, you wouldn't have anything to say, since you apparantly used their opening line as a way to just repeat them.

And to address both points, you both (and I) seem to agree that having legal ages for sex seems foolish, but your country has them, my country has them, almost every country has them. And in many cases they -are- enforced, sometimes justly, sometimes unjustly, but you can't just say "Hah that's stupid" and not address the fact that they -do- exist.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

I was agreeing with them. There was no condescending tone to say otherwise.
I didn't look over that before I posted and I guess the second part of the passage didn't get in there. Regardless, I didn't think it sounded like I was attacking them.

They exist as in statutory rape laws - that is not exactly the same as an "assigned sex age" I don't think.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Personally i think the whole waiting till marriage thing is just so people dont have children before theyre ready. thats where condoms come into play. Nothing wrong with waiting at all. But Sometimes its hard to resist the urge. Just be safe about it, and i dont think it matters. Now if your just going around humping anything that walks like a jack rabbit, then you have a problem. If your gonna do it, do it with somone you care about, and make sure they care about you to.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

"If you have sex with someone under the age of X, you will go to jail" That sounds pretty much -exactly- the same as "They cannot have sex until they are >X"

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

You can look at it that way if you like. Statutory rape laws are gotten around all the time. Actually, the laws rarely come into play unless one person is significantly older and/or foul play is involved. A lot of the time, in a lot of places sex goes without "punishment" if minors are involved, therefore, the law isn't exactly as strict as it would likely be if there was an assigned age.

The rape law is basically there to keep older individuals from fornicating with younger individuals that may not be ready to make such decisions about sex or realize the consequences - and any "assigned age law" would be similar EXCEPT that hopefully with an age being set it would be taken more seriously, I mean, if that was the case.

Assigned age law would be more like a driving permit for example - you HAVE to be 16 in my state just to get the permit, and now you have to have it for a year to get a license - driving is serious. And an assigned age law for sex sounds like it would be more serious, kind of like that.

I still think it's stupid, as in an enactment of such a foolish thing - - - but if it were to exist I think it would be more serious than an statutory rape statute which isn't taken seriously a lot of the time when consenting couples/young people are the ones at risk. I mean, two 16 year old kids having sex and then having to deal with a rape law because a parent may not like it, and two people having to deal with an assigned age for sex law seem to me like they would be two totally different things in themselves.

Maybe I am the only one that thinks that, but hey, everyone can't think alike.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Well, although I don't agree with it entirely, there was an old thread over assigned ages and whatnot. A few members basically said that even if a certain handful of people are responsible, there's a much bigger handful that isn't, and that marking an "age of responsibility" might keeps things in order. Seeing how STD's and teenage pregnancy is common (They say that the rates are dropping, but it's still around), they had the right idea. Maybe they shouldn't have an age where sex is absolutely allowed, but rather an age that is more of a guideline than a law. If this is the case, 17 definitely isn't it.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

I think that's the problem with "age limit" laws. They're put there because some majority of the population should be confined by those limitations. Of course it works the other way too, some people aren't ready to do things just because they're old enough to do so by law.

Either way I agree 17 or 18 seems way too high for an age of responsibility on sex. Even with the statuatory rape laws, I mean obviously there needs to be some law about having sex with someone below a certain age, but a law where an 18 year old can be marred as a "sex offendor" for having sex with a 16 year old seems a little sketchy.

Re: Premaritial Sex
 

Although I like the "better safe than sorry" policy, they're stretching it a bit.