Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

My bad about the verb thing. But this forum isn't really about first times anyway. It's about repeatedly doing it with people you don't care about, whether it's right or not, and "where to draw the line". Your comparisons were just silly to me, though. It would make more sense if you related the first time having sex to something with a bit more of an impact than getting a haircut. You don't need to participate in something directly to have a 'certified' opinion on it.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

you don't have to, but your point isn't as valid as you don't have any fisrt-hand experience. also, the problem residing in the conception of first times is extremely relevant, because it's on the same thought line of considering any promiscuous sexual activity as a negative event.

after everything that has been said, we could conclude that being promiscuous (when considerate about STDs, pregnancy, even each other emotions (it's not like i would go with someone just because she's drunk, or someone that prefers a "stable relationship")) isn't harmful and is actually the most natural way to handle relationships. maybe when you think of someone you know who has such an active sexual life, it may not be your typical good guy/girl, but that's probably because the ones who go through the trouble of breaking social taboos aren't usually your respectful american citizens, in a way or the other.

in the end, the more you know and experiment, the best you can understand these mechanisms. just overthinking them starting from the biased information you receive sounds downright mindless and ultimately leads to huge trouble.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

passive: If you're suggesting that your first time will be great because it will be with someone you actually enjoy being with and you can share your fetishes with them, then wouldn't it be even better to get practice with other people so you can perform better for that true first time?

I'm not sure why people think sex is the only activity that you can be amazing at your very first time (oh wait i do know), but nothing else in life follows this pattern. Unless you are a savant genius, you will be horrible at something your first time doing it and it will hardly be something you remember as a positive experience. I don't remember the first time I started doing anything in my life, because I was horrible at all of them. I remember the first time I did special things related to those first times, but that's it.

For example, I don't remember when I first got on a bicycle, but I do remember the first time I successfully rode down my hill (I live on top of a super-steep hill) with no hands. People who still play FFR don't remember their first song (or much else about it other than their epic failure), but they'll surely remember the first time they passed Yoshi Bonus Round or something. Hell I barely ever played FFR and haven't played for 4 years and I still remember that day.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

Seriously kids, get the **** over yourselves. Sex isn't a big deal if you do it responsibly, as summed up in tokzic's choose your own adventure wall of text. It's something fun to do that a lot of people take way too seriously.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

I wholly agree with kommisar[os]'s post.

it all depends on how you look at sex.

i personally, am leaving sex for marriage. not because im religious or anything of the sort (i am christian but that doesnt change how I look at sex). Sex to me, is a sacred thing that should be left for the one you truly love. if you blow it with some random chick, you wont get the same feeling. you will, physically, but emotionally is what matters.

Thats why I call sex, making love. you cant make love if its with some random chick.

if your looking to it as sex only and your doing it for the pleasure, go for it, I won't look down on you. just be prepared for the consequences.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

oh.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

I mean that being a christian had no effect on my thinking that sex is a sacred thing. i think it is sacred for reasons i am not going to tell an online community.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

First-time sex sucks. D: Didn't have a ****ing clue what I was doing.

Anyway... I don't think I've ever heard a man being called a slut. Maybe they just don't do that here out west or something? The way I've been raised, the more pussy you get, the better.
So, to use darkshark's example, if you bang 142 chicks in a month, then you're like the ultimate pinnacle of manhood or something.
HOWEVER, (why am I explaining this on the internet?) once you get a girlfriend, you don't go around ****ing everything that moves. People like that need to be knocked to the ground and kicked, IMO.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

I think having no idea what your doing makes it better :P

its all too perfect the next time.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

Agreed, I think it was fun to share the experience with someone who also has no idea. It's not like you can do it completely wrong. You just put the penis in the vagina, and then it doesn't really matter what you do.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

What.

No.

Not knowing what you're doing can make the experience both painful and dangerous. You could potentially ruin the experience for your partner for life.

If you do it wrong the first time and your partner has know idea you're doing it wrong, you will continue to do it wrong.

I'll give you another analogy, and this one is true to my own life again. I played basketball for 12 years. When I first started practicing, I shot with two hands--not the standard one hand on the side one behind technique. Because I practiced my two-handed shot for so long, I never broke the habit. Countless coaches tried to teach me the right way, but it had become such a habit that I reflexively dropped back into two-handed shooting during games.

If I had learned the right way from the beginning and practiced it, I would've been a much better player. As it were, I was a horrible shot and was really only useful on defense. None of my early coaches told me I was doing anything wrong, so I continued to do it the wrong way.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

What exactly are you talking about that can go wrong? I can think of STD's or something, but you can't continuously get those STD's. Maybe she got pregnant, but that was probably a given if you weren't using any form of birth control. So really, what goes wrong during sex that isn't already obvious berforehand?

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

finally responding

My perception on sex isn't due to the mind setting I receive from our environment. If I were to go into the world, or simply turn on your everyday TV show or movie, it would be extremely easy to see how largely promiscuity is praised. Even television directed towards women (Sex and The City, anyone? lameshowIMO). Hence Crashfan saying:


Therefore, I think your statement about banging as many people as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time being looked down on by average society is... well, wrong. It's really nothing special or rare that you think it's alright -- perhaps even the best option? -- to engage in promiscuity. I'm not saying the media is how you drew your viewpoints, but you have to admit that this is how the most impressionable of people are swayed, and even feel pressured.


What else can I say?

Earlier, I stated you didn't have to directly participate in something to have a 'certified' opinion on it.
A response I got was:

So first-hand experiences are more able to be regarded as the tell-all of the ultimate truth? How, then, can you simply ignore the hundreds of thousands of people who, male and female included, all say they "wish they had waited"? Wish they had waited. Go to any online community -- I'm sure even Yahoo Answers would suffice -- and ask "How was your first time having sex?" I guarantee a large amount of the people, although not even directly being addressed about it, will state that they wish they had waited, and even advise others to do what they hadn't.

...It's just weird how much of an imbalance there is in information taken into account for some of these points. O.o;;

Now!




Heheh... how clueless does a partner have to be to not "do it right"? See, this is why you have to wait until you find someone *special to you* that you're *comfortable with* and *know extremely well*, rather than just hopping in bed with a nervous dude who you're giving too much reward to without enough justification, anyways.
Even if he somehow managed to initially do it "wrong"... it wouldn't be so awkward between you two that you can't just tell them, and promptly move on to better times. It wouldn't be a big deal at all if you loved them.

And if first times are as unimportant and meaningless as the majority of you say it is -- and in the case of a couple that's deeply comfortable with one another, then the first few seconds -- then honestly, who gives a flying ****?

Cool. Was it on the same bike?


Until next time. ^.^

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

First time for both partners = really painful, really quick. And yes there is a technique to it.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

I didn't even finish when I first had sex.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

Doesn't negate my post at all. But to respond regardless, first times for females are often inevitably painful. An experience of sweet, romantic pain from someone who actually loves you rather than some random dude at a party who just wants to get it over with and that you'll likely never see again is 10,000x preferred. ^.^;

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

What I never said just go fuck a guy at a party.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

So who, and under what circumstances, do you believe it's ideal for a girl to have sex with? Besides yourself, of course. Let's say this girl is someone you actually care about the well-being of, likeeee a sister or something of the sort. No joke responses please. I'm interested to see what you truly think.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

Whoever she's comfortable with at the time. While for a small percentage of girls I can imagine that would mean waiting for marriage it's been my experience that there are a lot of females who want to have sex with their boyfriend at the time but are irrationally holding themselves back because they don't want to be viewed as promiscuous.

As for the double standard of promiscuity, having sex with a lot of partners for men is usually considered a sign of machismo, while for women they become whores. This skewed view is a direct result of our evolutionary imperatives to procreate and provide an opportune environment for our young. Males procreate with as many females as possible, and females stay with one male and take care of their young. Because going out and mating with other males while caring for offspring is dangerous for the child. However since we don't actually need to follow our evolutionary instincts this double standard has long since gone out of fashion.

My personal view is have sex with whomever you want however you want whenever you want. Just be responsible, safe and know the possible consequences, both emotional and physical, and you'll be fine.

Re: Wheres the line, promiscuity.
 

I'm very impressed, good Sir. (Not meaning to come off as a smartass, actually.) I agree with nearly all of it. Thanks for the sincere answer.