Flash Flash Revolution - Omnipwn Tournament (100,000 Credit Grand Prize)

Challenge 1:
Two FFR users, GasesAreFluids and NoTheyArentYouRetard, really dislike one another. They've been bickering over the nature of gases for far too long. One day, they decided to settle things by simply charging at one another. GasesAreFluids told NoTheyArentYouRetard to go far away before they did this, so he ran north 12,000 meters to grab a bagel from the supermarket, then headed east 16 kilometers to a drinking fountain to re-hydrate. At this moment, the two FFR players began charging at one another in a straight path, both of them running at 25/18 meters per second. The very moment they began charging, GasesAreFluids sneezed and released a special new type of particle much slower than light which would later be known as the Synthlight Photon -- headed straight at NoTheyArentYouRetard. This particle is known to instantly bounce off anything it touches and go in the opposite direction, maintaining constant speed. So the photon bounced back and forth between the two FFR players as they charged one another. At the same time, two onlookers, Tasselfoot and Chardish, were discussing a bet. Chardish agreed to give Tasselfoot 50 cents for every myriameter the Synthlight Photon traveled before GasesAreFluids and NoTheyArentYouRetard collided, and Tasselfoot agreed to give Chardish $1.75 for every hour the two FFR numbskulls spent running towards each other. How much money does Tasselfoot have once the collision occurs?

(Missing something? Remember where you are... there are two people that can help you...)

Challenge 2:
Dear Journal,
It's been ages since the Great War of Two Thouzand, when General Shash unleashed his Triple-A cannons on our fleet. I almost didn't survive that furious onslaught. I had been flying above their hidden base just after Shash had begun his attack. Just as the orange sky gave way to the faint void of twilight, two Marvelous Missiles arced up from the base and curved towards my ship. There was no way those blasts would miss. I threw myself out into the open air as the missiles pounded my ship into a red-hot, twisted piece of scrap metal. Devoid of a parachute, I was worried. Below was a large pile of soft sandbags arranged in a cross, and I prayed that I would not miss my mark. I plowed into the very center of the bags with a near-silent thump, and rolled out onto the ground. Apparently I was in the center of the base and nobody had seen me fall. I pulled out my map and key, which my friend, Emesswurd, had given me before Shash supped him a few years prior. My friend had told me the map and key would unlock the powers dormant within the secret base, but I had no idea what to expect. Peering below at my map and key, I could make no sense of my friend's instructions:

"Hey there Rubix, here's the map and key. I've encrypted the key in case it falls into the wrong hands -- not even Ariel or Tuhoamuh would be able to crack this baby. Just spread your wings and hope you don't ding yourself up too badly. As for the map, I'm sure you can find a way to straighten it all out:

Key (WD3): hfhfihkliilgggfjiijimggkghhkfhiijfhjlhifi
Map:
iwhfnsd
kektsqf
ohtnuih
fpjxgsy
asinqrk
waolifk
ypreoof

Good luck Rubix -- you'll need it. Following the correct trail is like playing a sick game of Duck, Duck, Goose over, and over, and over..."

Challenge 3:
Alright, let me try to extract the answer from the hidden fabric of the universe. Standby for visual feed.
...
Got it:
The answer is a number from this picture,
http://aycu34.webshots.com/image/277...0314402_rs.jpg
Divided by a number from this picture,
http://aycu23.webshots.com/image/284...2230642_rs.jpg
Multiplied by... wait... I lost the visual feed. Let me try to get it back up.
...
Failed to get the visual feed, but I managed to extract the number in binary: 10
Wait, there's one more... then you have to divide by something in ternary: 102
Don't strain your eyes too hard looking for the right numbers, now.

Challenge 4:

00
000
0000
000000
00000000
0000000000
000000000000
00000000000000
000000000000
0000000000
00000000
000000
0000
000
00

"I've come to you for the answer."
???: Oh, have you now? Alright, all you have to do is figure out what I am.
"You're a diamond. This is obvious."
???: Ah, but I'm not really a diamond.
"But you clearly have the appearance of one."
???: You probably wouldn't know that I wear a size 13 belt, either. What something is and what it looks like are two entirely different matters.
"But all I see is a diamond. There's nothing implying otherwise."
???: Because you are blind. You must search deep within -- deep within my source -- to see my true, fragmented colors. Only when you reshape my being in all its iridescence will you find the answer you seek.

Challenge 5:
9:04
5:02
8:03
3:02
10:01

"Clocks are more than mere numbers. At least, half of their aspects are."

Challenge 6:
RGW BYNVWE TIY AWWJ UA DUCW IVCUIYAKT.
Can't read it? The answer is right at your fingertips.

Challenge 7:
There once was a man who was very bright,
Who was able to get any question right.
Long ago I gave him those challenges six,
But little did he know, they were full of tricks.
As correct as he was, he was still wrong
And was not sure how to move along.
Until he came to this question seven,
Which was lovely like the joy of heaven.
Because it was the end of line, nothing to derive
No correct answer, no mystery to revive.
Take solace in the fact that you're like a hero,
Who understands that this wrong answer yields zero.

Challenge 8:
This challenge has no answer.
But without it, you have no answers.
Wrong Answerx = x*((Right Answerx)/Wrong Answerx+1)
Bounds: 0 < x < 7

Challenge 9:
So you think you've got all the answers, huh? They must be pretty leet, yeah? Well, I hate leet answers. Why don't you put it all together, un-nerdify it, and then go say hello to him?