1. Download a bunch of brush sets. Preferably off DeviantArt. Stick it to the man and show you support "indie artists." Whatever that means in the context of web design.

2. Download a bunch of grunge textures. Old decrepit walls, wood, dirt, leathers, torn paper, static, etc. This adds a dark, contrasty look to your theme without any thought necessary. When in doubt? Stock textures!

3. Scanlines are your friend. You know, those 1px thick lines at a 45 degree angle? Yeah, those. Put them on everything. Everything. It goes on everything. It's "modern," "hip," "futuristic," and more! Never mind the fact it makes stuff look flat. Nobody cares about depth. That shit makes it hard on your eyes, or something.

4. Use anime graphics. Always use anime graphics. Don't ever cut them out of the background. If you absolutely have to, never use the Pen tool. Use magic wand, magnetic lasso, polygonal lasso, or if you're feeling really brave, use free-form lasso and/or magic eraser with a threshold of 0. This will produce the best results.

5. When you resize any of the aforementioned assets (anime graphics, textures, etc.), never, ever, EVER in your ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE hold the shift key, and never, ever, EVER in your ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE do you even DARE to downscale it. Always upscale. Never look for larger, higher resolution images to work with. Just scale that shit up. It's what the pros do.

6. Typography is for suckers. Don't learn that. It's a waste of time, money and mental effort. Just go to a free font supplier and go to their "Grunge Type" section. I guarantee you you'll run into hundreds of great fonts, like Birth of a Hero (definitely not Avant Garde) and Bleeding Cowboys (definitely not for faggots). This will create an edgey, rebellious in-your-face look with minimal effort. It fits with anything. Do you know what goes great with grunge type? Reference point 2: grunge textures!
Don't ever kern, don't ever track, don't ever set leading, don't ever play with the type. Just use stock settings (120% leading) and never use the glyphs palette.

7. Okay, so you've done all of the above. Now, in your Photoshop document, put an anime render onto it. Increase the contrast by at least 500%. Put scanlines onto it, and get your favourite abstract brushes. Brush that shit all over the image with 1000% scatter and jitter. Set it to overlay and overlay a rainbow gradient over that, too.

8. Now that that's done, you have to pick a font for your username. Pick 50 random fonts from your list of available fonts (which should be over 10,000) and assign numbers to them. Generate a random number between 1-50 and use the appropriate font. This is how you truly pick a good font through the most objective manner possible.

9. Congrats! You are now an FFR graphics pro. Be sure to spread the word of your prowess to your friends and their friends. You are the next best thing to happen to design!

I don't play SM or FFR anymore get at me

People tell me public displays of affection are inconsiderate. Nobody cares how you feel about another, and telling others or blogging about it persistently does nothing but shame either party. But see, I haven't ever confessed this out loud about you. This is my first, and I think it's long overdue that I let this out. That's okay, isn't it? Isn't it?

For so long, you've been with me. There's always been that enduring bond between us. That comforting feeling you share when you're with another very, very dear to you. That calm, serene silence in which nothing needs to be said because everything is said through that silence.

You're extremely reliable and faithful to me. I wake up with you every morning without fail. I know you'll always be there for me. You start my day, and you end my day. You're not always physically with me nor can you always be; yet you're always with me in spirit. I can trust that fact because when I do need you, you can be there for me. Even if you can't be, it's always for a reason. I understand, and I'm sure you do as well. That mutual respect is something a lot of people can't claim to have that we do.

Perhaps I might even go so far to say as I'm infatuated with you. I indulge in you. Your look, your scent; would it be creepy to say your taste? Hahaha. I guess it is creepy, and maybe even a bit perverse but no matter how taboo or inappropriate that may sound it's true. Everything about you is great. Of course, it's what's inside that matters, but am I not permitted to look at the entirety of the contents? That was rhetorical. Of course I am. <:3c

So with all that said, I just want to let you know. I need to get this off my chest. You're dear to me. Special. My entire world? No. Neither am I to you. But I'm confident when I say this: I love you, coffee. I always have. I always will.


With love,
~ Xiao / Dan <3

Too bad. Fuck off.

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