Cheating in Relationships

[AssNinja4759]

the way i see it, it's best for people to NOT get married, given that divorce rates are high. ontop of that, not only are people wasting their money, knowing that there is a possibility that they will have to go through a divorce, but it's a total asswhip on the couple to go through all the planning, time, and resources needed to put a wedding together. I'm all for a happy ending, but please. save yourself the hassle, stay single, and have lots of sex with whoever you want.

[Rum]

I think it's unnaceptable. If you are dating/married and you fool around with someone else then it's disrespectful to the person you're dating. Either break up/divorce them or don't do it, it hurts people feelings and causes rifts so it's best not to do it IMO.

[who_cares973]

There was a 2 hour special on tlc about why people cheat

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by devonin

I think that the majority of people who cheat on someone either don't actually love the person they cheated on, or don't actually love the person they cheated with. Polygamy would address neither of those issues. If the person was married to both, say, such that it wasn't "cheating" I suspect they would just cheat on them both with someone else.

Touche. I guess what I meant by pretending polygamy were part of our culture, was to pretend if monogamy and marriage and 'going steady' were oddities instead of the norm, and that sleeping with whoever you wanted whenever you wanted was instead the norm. Pretend that getting upset over someone having sex with someone else when they are currently having sex with you is frowned upon, even if you care for them a great deal. Would it emotionally hurt as much? I'm not sure it would.

Originally Posted by devonin

I suspect, though correct me if your experience contradicts this, that most people who cheat are not cheating because what they really wish they had was a serious romantic relationship with all parties involved.

I'm not sure I get you. If I were to cheat on someone (no, no personal experience from me though), but I didn't know their spouse, how could I possibly want to be in a relationship with that guy's wife? Furthermore, I'm pretty straight. I have never felt, and suspect I will never feel, what I have for a woman the feelings that I've had for men. I suppose sex is sex though, and is not really the same as love. Personally, your point may be true for me in that the one person at the moment in my life who I would consider cheating with is a friend of mine and my partner, and their wife is also a friend. But what I just said still stands...I'm straight.

[devonin]

I'm not sure I get you. If I were to cheat on someone (no, no personal experience from me though), but I didn't know their spouse, how could I possibly want to be in a relationship with that guy's wife? Furthermore, I'm pretty straight. I have never felt, and suspect I will never feel, what I have for a woman the feelings that I've had for men. I suppose sex is sex though, and is not really the same as love. Personally, your point may be true for me in that the one person at the moment in my life who I would consider cheating with is a friend of mine and my partner, and their wife is also a friend. But what I just said still stands...I'm straight.

You misunderstand. What I was saying is this:

1/ You are in a relationship with person 1
2/ You become involved with person 2 while still in a relationship with person 1

WHat I'm asserting is "What you do NOT want in this situation is a serious, romantic relationship with both person 1 and person 2."

By which I mean, as referred to in the previous statement of mine you had quoted: In a relationship with person 1, and cheating with person 2, my feeling is that you EITHER have serious feelings for person 1 OR person 2 OR neither person, and NOT both people.

[nordia]

I do not think that cheating is a bad thing, but as devonin says, you can't have serious feelings for both of them.

[footbull3196]

Cheat on your girlfriend constantly. That way you have as many chances for success as possible. If one finds out and dumps you, you still have the other 76.

Ok don't actually do that but my friend wrote a parody of a "relationship how-to guide" and that was part of it lol

In all seriousness though, cheating differs from person to person. What one person views as cheating may not be what somebody else views as cheating.

For example, I saw this once on an episode of "The King of Queens". Deacon was meeting up with his friend Angie from high school at some Chinese restaurant, and Kelly didn't know about it. In Deacon's mind, cheating = sleeping with the person or getting serious with them. In Kelly's mind, however, cheating = seeing the person without telling her.

This led to Kelly kicking him out of the house and part of what temporarily destroyed their marriage.

I personally think it's ok to "cheat" on someone, according to Kelly's standards. I wouldn't mind if my girlfriend was seeing someone else, but they weren't getting serious or anything. But that's about as far as it would go.

[AquaTeen]

I think you have every right to be upset if a spouse is unfaithful. You trusted them then they deceive you and that is wrong. If they want to be with someone else they should end things before moving on instead of cheating and hiding it. I hate when men or women get mad at the person that their spouse is cheating on them with... it's partially their fault but the main person you should be mad at is the spouse because they knew they were doing wrong so it's only truly their fault not the other person.