Old 03-29-2013, 11:39 AM   #21
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Default Re: coming out

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Originally Posted by Ksl33zy24 View Post
mmm, maybe it's just me, but I don't think "'everyone' is bisexual".

But, yeah, it's all good here, I believe.
Yeah, it's hard to say any given thing is certain for "everyone."
I have, however, attended a sexuality seminar where the whole room took a survey of their sexuality, everyone put their paper in the middle, jumbled it all up and took someone else's at random. Then we all kind of scattered around the room according to the answers on our randomly selected sheets and it turns out sexuality is very fluid. There were very few 1's (the straightest option on the survey) and very few 6's (the gayest option on the survey), and everyone was pretty scattered with most of the concentration in 2 and 4/5.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:59 AM   #22
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I think there's a scale for this... k-something

edit: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:18 PM   #23
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Default Re: coming out

That scale is interesting... never thought of it that way.

Regardless, I am pretty darn sure I am a strong 0. I don't really get why you guys would say everyone has a "little homosexuality in them".

I would be interested in hearing the reasoning behind that.

But to the OP, FFR loves everyone

... except sandbaggers, cheaters, and people that double post too much.
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:24 PM   #24
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Default Re: coming out

g'luck with whatever you choose to do, moches!
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:54 PM   #25
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Default Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:54 PM   #26
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Default Re: coming out

I'd love to say that you should just tell your parents, but that could also be a risky course of action depending on how they react and thus what sort of relationship you'd like to maintain with them.

Quite frankly, it constantly irritates me that homosexuality is still seen as such a sin against nature and has to be kept quiet for fear of retribution, even from the people who raised us... I've got a ridiculous amount of repressed anger on the subject, but that is not for this thread.

Suffice to say I'm proud of you moches... or should I say bro-ches.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:06 PM   #27
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Default Re: coming out

Here's some hope:

I come from a conservative Middle Eastern family that claimed to be homophobic. I had an internal struggle of being gay for years and it led to me developing some subconscious anger issues. After I told my parents I was bi (at first), they were shocked, and couldn't believe it, but they then got used to the idea. When I told them I was gay, their views about homosexuality were altered, due to them wanting to understand where I was coming from.

I know how you feel, but I promise you'll feel better post-doing it.

(You're most likely gay, but still just not fully developing it because of the fear of polarizing towards one label).

Embrace what you like, and don't let ANYTHING stop you from being happy, because it ultimately, and selfishly, comes down to that in the end.


Also: with education, comes tolerance. I don't know what the sociological definition of heterosexuality is over where you live, but I definitely know that it was implanted from your parent's older generation that was taught to strictly believe in heterosexuality, without any lee-way or even the thought that there could be an ongoing continuum when it comes to sexuality, lol. This isn't exclusive to your family obviously, but just a generalization.

However, whatever can be taught, can also be untaught (i.e racist ideology), and that's definitely what happened when my parents reluctantly succumbed to accepting my sexuality.

Best of luck sir,
It's a big leap, and it wasn't your choice either.

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Old 03-29-2013, 01:10 PM   #28
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Default Re: coming out

Good for you Moches. Hope things turn out ok as well if you decide to come out to your parents.
Only advice I can think of is to be careful of which moment you pick if you suspect they'll flip out (but don't stress yourself out about it). If you're dependent on parental care (roof over your head, food on the table and what not) and you have a good reason to think they won't like the fact that you're gay, it might not be the wisest option to come out at that moment. If you suspect they're accepting of it, then go for it, but it's good to have some sort of back-up plan if this misfires. You never know what the consequences will be really.


@ bballa it's kind of like how many men deny they watch porn, while 95% of them watches it. It's something shameful for many I guess which is why they adamantly claim to have no homosexual feelings whatsoever.
Attraction happens regardless of how much you think you don't have any homosexual feelings. It's not a choice to have those feelings, it's genetics. Homosexual/heterosexual feelings come in various degrees and hardly anyone is absolutely 100% straight (if anyone). It comes down to how honest you are to yourself and how much you're willing to accept feelings like that I guess.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:29 PM   #29
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Default Re: coming out

Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonmegaXX View Post
I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?
You know what?

Fuck you. Straight up. Get that shit outta here. Even if you're joking, this isn't the right time.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:33 PM   #30
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Default Re: coming out

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Originally Posted by dragonmegaXX View Post
I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?
Dude, this earns a wholeheartedly-serious "fuck you."



moches: As for your parents, I'd wait until you are no longer financially dependent on them to come out to them (if you choose to do so, that is).

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Old 03-29-2013, 01:37 PM   #31
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Default Re: coming out

its almost never as bad as you think it will be. when you tell them just be prepared for the worst.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:48 PM   #32
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For some it can have some very serious consequences. Depends on what kind of people the parents are.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:55 PM   #33
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Hell yeah Moches!
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:56 PM   #34
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I still have no idea how people accurately figure out where they are on the kidney scale.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:56 PM   #35
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I'm very happy to see you're finally coming out and talking with people about it, and that's a very difficult thing to do. It's like such perfect timing seeing a post like this because just the other day I finally came out about my sexuality, I'm still kind of in the questioning phase though but after having some of these feelings and thoughts for months now I'm comfortable with considering myself bisexual. To be honest, it's very exciting, I feel that now there are so many possibilities and I'm able to explore my sexuality now more than ever before. Anyway just makes me really happy to see posts like this, it's a very beautiful thing! So here's to the best of luck to you!
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:56 PM   #36
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For some it can have some very serious consequences. Depends on what kind of people the parents are.
being gay, i know this. i do also know that for everyone i know personally, it was never as bad as they built it up to be. parents usually have a clue that you are. no one is ever perfectly cautious.
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:01 PM   #37
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Default Re: coming out

Moches <3

I don't know what it's like in Korea, but you mentioned you have a good relationship with your parents. It might be a good thing to be honest with them. Either way, you're still their child. (This coming from someone with a great relationship with his parents, albeit in America and not having gone through this issue in particular :/)
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:03 PM   #38
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I'll always love ya moches
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:11 PM   #39
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Default Re: coming out

Be happy with who you are. It took me a lot of effort to come out to anyone in my real life, and the funniest part was that I knew my mum would be completely fine with it. It's understandable.

You've taken a step today. The most important thing is that you should feel content and happy with how you feel. Accepting yourself is more important than being accepted by someone else. Design your universe.

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you just for posting this thread, even though I think we all know FFR is a pretty safe place for these things.

Best of luck in your life. I don't know what it must be like to live in an environment as strict as yours; I've had to deal with the general type of homophobia, but that's probably on a completely different scale. I hope things will work out for you. Again, be happy with yourself; that's the primary thing.

Tell people as soon as you feel ready for it. I can tell you one thing though, and that is that coming out feels strangely relieving, in a very good way. Even when it's never mentioned in future discussions, it still feels good to be able to be who you really are. Best of luck <3

P.S.: People always assume the worst when they come out, and it's almost always not as bad as they expected. I don't know how well you are with your parents. Simply prepare for any type of reaction. It may be possible to hint, or otherwise try to figure out how exactly your parents would react. If you're pretty sure it will be (very) negative, it may be better to simply not tell them. It's not an absolute necessity. Regardless, you are their child, and they love you unconditionally. It's up to you to decide when is the right time.

Edit: Also, feel free to hit me up if you want to talk. I'm always there for people. :3
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:15 PM   #40
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Default Re: coming out

Good on you moches for opening up . It may be good that you'd tell your parents as soon as possible. Hopefully they aren't going to say it's wrong for you to be this way because the 'bible' says so.
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