Daily Music Reviews (Summer Challenge)

[EzExZeRo7497]

Great review on Melancholia, haha. If you think that this album is "icy and barren", you'll probably be surprised by Thomas Koner's music.

[rayword45]

Day 31: Nocturnes by William Basinski (Album Choice: EzExZeRo7497)

My original plan was to copy and paste the paragraph I used yesterday for Melancholia, but decided against that for many reasons. One, holy crap I made a lot of typos. Two, now I have internet access and a computer/keyboard to type on. Three, I already feel like I'm cheating for reviewing an album by the same dude two days in a row. I'm probably gonna review a bonus EP if I can find one. Anyways, this album, unlike Melancholia, features songs with actual names. A whopping two songs, totaling 68 minutes and 58 seconds of ambient music. The fact that this wasn't released on vinyl is a bit disappointing, even if fitting a 41 minute song on one side would make it sound like crap. One of the many things I've learned over the course of this challenge is if you overextend a song or section of a song, REALLY overextend it. Take Dopesmoker, one of the first albums I listened to over these past few weeks, which probably had less than 10 chords in the whole song I think for 63 minutes. Didn't feel repetitive, the repetition made it feel ATMOSPHERIC and made the slow vocals and multiple guitar solos seem all the more amazing. Reoccurring Dreams by Husker Du is a mere 14 minutes of punk jazz and it doesn't remain interesting like Dopesmoker did. What a crappy way to end a great concept album.

First track consists of, for at least 10 minutes, skeletal, cold piano chords. Basically two of them. And the same windy noise from yesterday. This track is a lot more minimal than the ones from Melancholia, and it's 5 times as long as any of the tracks on that album. It's also very lo-fi, apparently recorded in 1979 (most likely with considerable tape disintegration). I felt like I was listening to the same atonal chords for 15.5 minutes, then, was that a change? Holy crap, even the smallest difference is amazing here. And those are the only differences, small ones. At times I'm not even sure if those are actual changes, me not noticing stuff before or my ears having lucid dreams (or the audio equivalent that isn't "voices in my head" insanity, what is that?). What I said about Dopesmoker applies here. This is an atmospheric recording, and very repetitive but not quite tiresome. I will never understand it, but seriously. If a track goes one for 2 minutes too long, you feel as if it's going on for near hours. And when it is actually going on for near hours, it doesn't seem so bad. This next track, The Trail of Tears, contains music from 2008-2009. Yet it sounds equally lo-fi. I don't know if that's aesthetic or this guy being a cheapass, but again, it's atmospheric (and I sound like a pretentious douchebag). It's also a lot more accessible, and still not accessible at all (28 minutes of music edited from the crappiest tapes possible). For one, the changes in the music are a lot more noticable. Within 10 minutes the most prominent piano chords from the beginning are barely audible. In fact it seems like almost a completely different composition when comparing beginning and end.

So, to compare to yesterday. If Melancholia is a winter forest, Nocturnes is the same forest except late at night with less snow and more cold, dry winds. And someone stuck in a piano in there somehow. I don't know, this album is a lot bleaker than the last one. The title fits, you only get images of nighttime. As I was recommended, I'll recommend Melancholia first, it's a much, much more accessible work and features remarkably shorter songs. This isn't bad, no no, it's quite good, but it's not for everyone. That's a cliched phrase, let me fix that. It's only for people who can stand repetitive, seemingly simple music for marathon song lengths. And for those who can, hopefully you'll find a gem like I did in the second track.

BONUS REVIEW

Rather than review an EP (because I had no recommendations for one besides Auchtere and that EP is over an hour), I'm reviewing one of the new Animation Domination shows. Simpsons hasn't been funny in forever, Seth MacFarlane is ABSOLUTELY TALENTLESS, and I like Bob's Burgers but I'd say it's the second worst H. Jon Benjamin cartoon out of the 5 I can think of (And Lucy, Daughter of the Devil only got one season). And that makes it the second worst Loren Bouchard-produced cartoon out of 4 I've seen. Anyways, Fox is trying to become like [adult swim]/Cartoon Network so they've picked up a couple of 11-minute shows. Unfortunately Fox cartoons have higher budgets, higher censorship rates, and higher rates of being completely awful (and I don't like a lot of [adult swim] shows). Axe Man or High School USA? Hold on, googling. And HSUSA was made by Dino Stamatopoulos. I love Moral Orel, I have to check that one out.

0:00 Hey, Fox is allowing TV-MA rated shows? Since when? And holy crap I see the Archie art style already. Archie was never a funny comic nor a good band. Watching episode 2, "Sexting"
0:42 Not a fan of the theme song but whatever.
1:13 Not sure if lazy character design is a joke. Oh who am I kidding?
1:27 This woman's relationship to her daughter is way too close.
2:18 You take a dump right in front of your best friend? Close relationships...
3:32 Sneaky conniving lady. And bent? I don't get it... Oh. Nope still don't get it.
4:20 Crooked? Still don't get it.
5:00 This dialogue is so awful. If Dino is doing this for the cheese factor, he's a goddamn genius.
5:46 Yeah... This is extremely uncomfortable.
6:13 You took your phone in the shower? That's more shocking than sexting will ever be.
7:10 Calling the police? The irony is too obvious.
7:53 Poor guy...
9:00 This writing is so awful.
9:30 Cancer jokes. Both obvious and unfunny.

My conclusion? PRAY TO HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST ALLIN THIS WAS GODAWFUL. It wasn't as bad as Seth MacFarlane shows, but it's worse than anything I've ever seen Dino's name attached to. Hopefully if this gets a second season by the end it'll turn into a brilliant tragicomedy/drama.

Also, about the Jon Benjamin show rankings, I forgot about Assy McGee. Why did I have to remember it?

[noname219]

Btw, if you're looking for some short eps to do extra reviews, Demur by Kandma is one I recommended on page 1.

[Silvuh]

Oh, welp, just noticed your comment on my profile. I definitely don't have a broad ... music experience ... thing. Nothing I listen to is really like, "out there"? or however you say it. Don't recognize a ton of the music that was suggested and reviewed in here.

Here are six (mostly pop) albums in my playlist with samples:

What Are You So Scared Of? by Tonight Alive (2011), if you want to listen to pop-punk with a female lead vocalist.

Human Again by Ingrid Michaelson (2012), if you want to listen to darkish indie pop.

Listen Up! by Haley Reinhart (2012), if you want to listen to more of a R&B/jazzy pop.

Thank You Camellia by Kris Allen (2012), if you want to acoustic guitary pop.

Good & Evil by Tally Hall (2011), if you want to listen to a mix of alt rock with electronic elements and more traditional pop and stuff.

And I guess because I should put something somewhat odder on here, you can try Boys For Pele by Tori Amos (1996) if you want to listen to "baroque pop", whatever that means.

La la la.

[rayword45]

Day 32: Cheese by Stromae (Album Choice: Stephen C.)

Stromae is a Belgian singer-songwriter, who raps to electro house. I'm about to listen to his debut album. Debut albums are occasionally fine works from an artist's catalog (Homework comes to mind) but usually they fall flat. Very flat (Beck? Radiohead? Dinosaur Jr.? I could name a lot more). So basically, there's a very good chance that this guy hasn't found his footing yet as of this album. And why exactly am I complaining about debut albums just now? I'm about to listen to a Belgian dude rap in either French or Dutch. And his album is called Cheese. His DEBUT album is called Cheese. I mean come on, I like house music, French house music is often great stuff, but the album is EFFING TITLED CHEESE. Judging an album by the cover (or title) is something you can occasionally do, unless I'm listening to someone like The Dead Milkmen or any other humorous band. And if I am, it's redundant because I'm fluent in English only. Stephen you better not be conspiring to make me cry or self-mutilate my ears. I'm running rather low on time and this album is less than 45 minutes. Whether I like it or not I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stick through the whole thing.

Remember how earlier I said I was trying to avoid foreign language albums? Oh how far I have come. I've kinda realized one of several reasons for that a few tracks in. For a rap album, you should be commenting on the lyrics (That's why 2 Chainz is known as little more than an irritating joke). For a singer-songwriter album, you should be commenting on the lyrics (That's why people wanted John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats as the US poet laureate). This is both of the above, and I can't comment on the lyrics because I DON'T SPEAK EUROPEAN. There are a few distinguishable English words in here, but the day I get deep meaning or social commentary from the phrase "Peace or Violence" or "My Weed, My Coke, My Speed" is the day that Jim Morrison's poetry is understood as more than pretentious asscrap gibberish. So I guess I'll comment on the music (or is it beats in this case?). It's remarkably average. I have nothing to say. This is house music at its blandest.

The majority of this review was filler, and I'm not going to justify that. Rather, I'll hope that someone who knows whatever language this album is being rapped/sung in can tell me I'm so wrong, and this music is an album to cry your eyes out to (Reading poor translations on the internet gives me no more emotional connection than before. That's why I only read one). Because I only speak one language, all I can "review" per say is the background music. And it's the most average house music I've heard in a while, perfect for nightclubs whether drunken and mindless or upscale and pretentious.

That puts me in the mood, someone should recommend the Bangs album Hard 2 Be Up now that it's going to be free on HNHH. That'd be an epic review.

[Crazyjayde]

Stromae is pretty mediocre (read: shitty) lyric-wise.
The music itself is a good representation of their vocal content.
But don't lose faith in French music. I'm crossing fingers you'll be willing to dig further into some french canadian stuff.

And yes, happy to say I fervently anticipate your reviews when coming back home. They sure have gotten better since last time. And those TV show reviews are a neat bonus, don't refrain from posting them.

[rayword45]

Day 33: Burzum by Burzum (Album Choice: AFi (not the band if that wasn't obvious enough))

No disrespect to anyone's opinions or musical taste, but seriously, I question some of these recommendations. We had Vybz Kartel, a skin-bleaching murderer with hilarious oral sex lyrics. We had Johnny Rebel, a talentless country singer with the lamest racist lyrics ever and a Confederate flag album cover. We had people recommending Rise Records albums. And today we're going to be reviewing Burzum, a black metal musician who burns churches, murdered his bandmate, flirts with white supremacist and fascism ideologies and uses synthesizers in his black metal music. Seriously, what is it with you people and musicians that promote white supremacy/want to be white? I never listen to Black Metal. For the longest time I didn't even know the difference between Black and Death Metal. So this will be my first full-length Black Metal experience. A small note, I'm kinda cheating the recommendation here. I was recommended "The album with War on it" even though I force people to give me album titles.

Is this a drum machine? I can't believe how wrong I was with thinking Death Metal and Black Metal are similar. This is vastly different from any Death Metal album I've listened to. For starters, the vocal performance is a lot harsher here. And to clarify. "harsher" means "less enjoyable". I understand why some people don't like "pig growls" but Jesus Christ at least Death Metal vocals are typically quieter (can't yell nearly as much when you're going 7 octaves below your normal speaking range). Here, the vocals consist mainly of high-pitched shrieks that are too painful to allow you to think of the lyrics. Think of a particularly insane fellow being tortured with a sharp spoon. That's how painful this sounds. The first track is titled Feeble Screams from Forests Unknown and I am NOT appreciating this irony. Also I'm still not sure if a drum machine is used, but there are some real drums here in the mix.

Since these first few tracks (out of eight total) have the exact same vocal performance, I've decided to directly quote all of my mostly shouted reactions. I'm shouting because nobody is home.

"Would this jackass shut the hell up?"
"I want to punch this jerk in the teeth."
"I wonder how this guy did in prison. He either scared everybody or got punched in the mouth a lot... Eh, probably both."
"Did the recording process involve getting his beard waxed in front of a microphone?"
"Seriously, would this jackass shut his mouth?"
"This guy thinks of his songs and albums as spells? Spells to what? Extracting confessions?"
"I wonder if this guy was pals with Seth Putnam"
"*fakes crying*"
"My hands are slowing down. Is this a result of the music or just me being tired?"
"I think my eyes are tearing up."

I'm quoting in real time. So let me focus on the music outside of the vocals. Specifically, the dark ambient synthesizers that were mentioned. Track one started with about 5 seconds of it. Track four, Channeling The Power of Souls, is nothing but dark ambient, as is the final track. Let me tell you, this is a blessing. It gives your head a rest between the shrieks, because sitting through 40 minutes of nothing but shrieks would probably induce blackouts. The guitar isn't bad (how many times have I said that line?). It's speedy, rhythmic and melodic, in high contrast to the heinous vocal performance. This guy is clearly a talented instrumentalists, seeing how he handled almost everything recorded here. And maybe these ARE spells because holy crap, song length is not a problem. Maybe it's due to my frequent shouting but songs 8-10 minutes in length are a lot shorter than they seem. Whereas progressive rock songs and songs of many other genres with excessive instrumental wankery that are 8-10 minutes feel like they go on for years, these songs feel a lot shorter than they actually are. Whether that's my lack of focus or a skill of this guy, I'm impressed with something or someone, even if it's myself (you egotistical jerk).

This is another case of me not liking the genre of music, and I'm concluding that after my first album solely due to the vocals. My ears need a break because of this dudes "singing style". The guitar is good, the drums are good, the dark ambient tracks are a decent break, and this guy has some secret song length skill. But seriously, those vocals kill it for me. I can stand through (and thoroughly enjoy albums from) many singers who often get flack for their voices (J Mascis, Jeff Mangum, John Darnielle) and some people with some very odd vocal styles (Mike Patton in Fantomas, David Yow). This is too much for me.

[rayword45]

Day 34: You Can't Tell by The Tartan Rascals (Album Choice: The Sultan of Swing)

It's the midpoint of summer vacation. It goes by too damn fast. So, to celebrate, I deliberately chose the most obscure band request I got. These guys are from Scotland, have barely over 50 listeners on last.fm and (fun fact) the request for this album review comes up on the second page when you Google the band and album name together. This album was a chore to find, as they put their album up for free download but 3 of the MP3 links were broken. Luckily, my skills, talent and sexual prowess allowed me to find those remaining 3 songs. And if you don't think obscurity equals a good celebration, screw you.

The beauty of lyrics sheets. And to be honest I'm not sure if this is actually their album (they mentioned "12 out of 20" songs when there were only 10 available, and they mentioned live drums which this lacks), but I'm counting it as such. I'm wondering if this is actually lo-fi/basement production or this is the result of only offering crappy mp3s, but it fails to add aesthetic in this case (at least in my opinion). For the most part, this is pretty average alternative rock. It's mildly eclectic in terms of genres. We have the funky Last Ride to Hateville, the garage blues of You Better Leave Right Now, the Santana-sounding Lost in Shadows, the wanky synthrock ballad of Lonely Little Soldier, the distorted folk-rock in One Time, these guys cover a lot of ground. And then they mar it with horrible production (if you're gonna do lo-fi, do it right), unnecessarily distorted guitars (too much freaking gain), along with some fairly mediocre singing. Did I mention that part? The mediocre singing? Well it is, it's mediocre to the fullest extent.

Hmm... I think I ought to do a bonus review to add some substance to such a big day (midpoint!). So, a brief conclusion for you all. Creativity and eclectism are both great aspects to have in your music, but with really crappy production and horrible amp settings you're selling yourself short here.

BONUS REVIEW

Today's bonus EP is Demur by Kandma, requested by noname219. This lucky fool is gonna end up with at least 2.5 albums reviewed by the end of the challenge. Have no idea what I'm getting into. The album cover is a swimming dog with no text, immediately I think of space rock. There's your prediction.

And nope. This first track starts out as ambient, then becomes post-rock, then just becomes a mess of psychedelia. Same thing with the next 3 tracks, ambient post-psychedelia is my own made up term. I like that term. Start with ambience, build onto it with sleepy vocals, add harmonics, feedback and general guitar noise with a generous amount of psychedelia. Toss a piano in at some point and you've got a song. I'm not sure if I'm making it sound too great, frankly I don't even know my own opinion. I feel as if this should be an atmospheric recording, but staring at a computer screen is not atmospheric. The Nick Drake cover breaks the mold a bit. Less of a build-up, probably due to the fact that it's a cover. I wish they chose a song from Pink Moon instead of Three Leaves Left as the effect would've been even more jarring.

And another case of I'm not sure how to review this. All 3 genres I mentioned I can at least tolerate the vast majority of songs I've heard from them. Mixing them together is a bit of an odd sound though.

NEEDS MORE PADDING

BONUS REVIEW #2

For the hell of it, let's review the OTHER Fox [adult swim] rip-off, Axe Cop. Based off a webcomic by a 5 year old, it sounds even worse than High School USA. Luckily, it doesn't have Dino Stamatopoulos' name to raise my expectations. I one-hundred percent expect this to fall so flat the ground cracks. Oh, and when I said [adult swim] ripoff I meant only show length. Episode name is "Night Mission: Stealing Friends Back"

0:00 Is the kid also narrating this show? I also find it strange how a 5 year old creates something TV-14 worthy.
1:14 There's a sense of innocence to this hilariously cheesy dialogue.
1:17 The plot point is stolen friends? Come the hell on.
2:23 Hitchhiking is discouraged kids. Boys Beware! You might run into one of those HOMOSEXUALS!
2:53 Holy crap Taco Bell.. Is that Gus? With another dead best friend plot?
3:43 I'm willing to admit that this stupid war is actually entertaining. I laughed once.
4:00 And Gus' best friend died from one blast again.
5:30 I'm starting to think this 5 year old kid is gonna be a sociopath.
5:40 Yep, he's gonna be an axe murderer.
7:11 Giving away a brain? The hell is wrong with this kid?
7:31 Cheetahs are superfast, but they're also inbred.
9:00 I thought the brain feels no pain. You lied to me Dr. Lecter.

Well, this was considerably better than High School USA, mainly because the bad dialogue here gives it a sense of childish whimsy. I got only one laugh, one laugh more than HSUSA. Most of the time, I was busy thinking about this child's future. I still say stick to [adult swim] for 11 minute cartoons.

[rayword45]

Day 35: Tattered Youth by Attention (Album Choice: Benjamin P.)

Post-punk is one of the more vague genres of music it seems. On Wikipedia, it's "an artier and more experimental form of punk" yet the few bands that come to mind don't usually remind me of snot-nosed, angry punk rock. Joy Division? Ballads with some of the worst recorded singing to ever be praised. Devo? True nerd rock, moreso than bands like Weezer. Everything about that band screams dorkiness. The Cure? Love ballads with superior singing and embarrassing make-up. And apparently Sonic Youth is post-punk but I never thought of it as such. So basically, I've come to the conclusion that post-punk can often be described as "awkward synthy rock music". So today we're reviewing Tattered Youth by Attention. These guys don't look the least bit awkward, but they're often described as either post-punk (like all those bands except Weezer) or power pop (like Weezer, New Pornographers, The Knack, bad 80s music!). And this album was a pay-what-you-want at their Bandcamp. Sweet.

I don't hear the power pop. Or the post-punk for that matter. What I hear is punk pop. Or pop punk, which order is it? And that's most certainly not my choice of genre. While not all pop punk is bad (I fully believe every genre has worthwhile music, maybe even crunkcore) I can't get behind the vast majority of it. It just seems dull to me. If I want punk rock, I typically go for hardcore punk, punk at it's angriest typically. If I want to listen to pop music, I want it to sound upbeat or melancholy, but not straight out angry. Angry punk and upbeat pop don't mesh together for me. Together they typically cause me to doze off.

But I should give these guys a fair chance before I pigeonhole them, so let's analyze the music... Done. It comes to a two-way formula. Either start pop-punk and end there, or start with something like an acoustic guitar/piano ballad and then go to pop punk. And when I say pop punk, think of the most generic pop punk possible. You know, All Time Low or Good Charlotte, the bullcrap middle school children listen to when they try to pass themselves off as emo or punk rock. The formulaic stuff that was relevant mere years ago. Whenever it sounds like they'll make a change in sound (the alt-country intro of Out Of My Hands and Airlie, the chugging first chords of Numb, the piano in Can't You See Me) it turns into the samey average pop punk music. These guys could've sold far more records if they released music about a decade ago. Post-punk my ass.

Let me make this clear again, I don't dislike pop punk as a whole. There are bands I like that are ocassionally described as such, such as The Dead Milkmen or Descendents or even the Ramones. It's generic pop punk that makes me snore. And this album is mostly generic pop punk. So I shall snore. If you're an angsty teenager with a dyed streak of hair, this is another album for your collection.

[rayword45]

Pre-review padding. Today I watched the entirety of the 12 Oz. Mouse movie (which is the entire series packaged as a movie). I decided to comment about this because I think this show is seriously underrated. The artwork may suck and it's slow-paced but upon repeated viewings this show really does shine. I'd compare it to Disco Volante by Mr. Bungle in that it's very challenging and seems to drag on for forever, but the more you watch/listen the more you warm up to it. Anyways, moving on.

Day 36: Sounds Of The Universe by Depeche Mode (Album Choice: Therum)

The 12 Oz Mouse bit is what caused me to choose this album for today, solely because of a Venture Bros. joke about this band which turned out to extend into real life. Apparently, everyone thinks or thought that these guys are all gay. I don't know if that's because of the music or because of their behavior, but either way it seems to be a popular topic, the sexuality of some British men. I'm pretty sure I've heard some songs from these guys but I can't remember a single title. My memory serves well enough to remember the genre of music. They make electronic dance-pop music. With some elements of new wave. Or new age. Or new gay. Whatever it is, I'll find out what music could make people think "homosexuality". I mean, I never really think "gay music" when listening to Queen and Freddie Mercury actually was gay, whereas these guys are either straight or have been in the closet since 1980.

I don't know why, but typing this review is making these tooth separators hurt more all of a sudden. I'm struggling to type. So let's make this review nice and concise. I don't hear the gay. Maybe I have the worst gaydar ever, but if this is gay music what is straight music? Is The Cure straight music? Those dudes wore white make-up and lip gloss, and their music comes off as a lot more effeminate. This seem like some pretty average synthpop. I also don't understand the title in this case because it doesn't sound like "universe" music to me. Slightly spacy, but that's about it and goddamn that's my stupidest complaint about an album yet! Album titles rarely are relevant. As for the music, the whole thing seems kinda vintage, like these guys are still using the synthesizers from the 80s (or maybe earlier. It sounds barely more advanced than Kraftwerkfor god's sake). I'm assuming this guys were aiming for a retro sound, in which they really succeeded.

The album is over and my teeth are still effing killing me. I feel like the album didn't "click" for me, strange since I mentioned both Disco Volante and 12 Oz. Mouse at the beginning of this review. It was fairly inoffensive listening, several tracks were even catchy, but something tells me I'm missing something and I need to give this multiple listens. I swear I'm not stealing from the first paragraph when I say this, I really do want to give this more time. Huh, wanting to give a synthpop album more time. That's probably a first. Well, final opinion is that everybody already knows who Depeche Mode is. Make your own goddamn opinion, I need some ice cream.

Oh yeah, over the course of 60 minutes, nothing came to me as relatively "homosexual sounding" while I still don't know what that means. I'm going to assume it has to do with their live shows.

[rayword45]

Day 37: Figure 8 by Elliott Smith (Album Choice: Hazel H.)

Little tidbit for your enjoyment, this review almost didn't get written as I was woken up at 10 PM. Now I'm struggling to type with sore gums. Let's try to make this concise again. Elliott Smith was a singer-songwriter who made indie folk-pop. He also suffered from depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. Then he got stabbed or stabbed himself. And that's the end of the biography. This was his final album before his death.

I can't think straight with this damned gum soreness (and I sound like a little bitch right now, don't I?) So, as usual, I rely on Google to bring me the facts. One notable comparison is this guy is compared to Nick Drake. I don't hear that. At all. The only Nick Drake album I care about is Pink Moon and that album is bare and minimalist, whereas this album is mostly layered folk-pop (though there are a few fairly bare folk tracks). Perhaps a comparison to his earlier 2 albums would work. Another comparison I found is to Grandaddy, and I think that's a lot closer. Throw in some Bright Eyes and depression and you've basically got it. That's where I think the Nick Drake comparison MAY work, this is pretty melancholy stuff, and it's probably made a lot bleaker and haunting by his untimely death. Isn't it interesting what death can do to an artist's music?Obligatory song comparison, Wouldn't Mama Be Proud reminds me of Oceanographer's Choice by the Mountain Goats. That's it nothing else even recalls John Darnielle. And the last track is titled Bye which is considerably haunting considering his was his last track released while alive... Meh, I'm thinking too much into it.

As a sucker for indie folk, I have to say this is one of the better albums of the challenge thus far, with the more simplistic folk songs contrasting well with the more lushly textured tracks. I'd also say this is one of the more accessible albums thus far, since there's a lot of pop structure and melody in here. I give this a recommendation with seven minutes on the clock to go.

BONUS REVIEW

I said I have seven minutes to go. Piss off.

[rayword45]

Day 38: Greatest Hits by Dave Koz (Album Choice: Luke Z.)

This album does two things differently from all the albums before, oh joy! This is my first compilation album review, as well as my first pure jazz review (Nujabes isn't pure). I didn't really know that anybody really listened to smooth jazz anymore. I certainly can't picture myself sitting through 68 minutes of pure smooth jazz (which is the length of this compilation album), but I'm not easily excited myself. Also, this guy (unlike Depeche Mode) actually is gay, but his following seems to mostly be made up of (according to articles I've read) orthodontists and senior citizens, and that was enough to keep this guy on Capitol Records for 18 years. I sound really condescending right now but I'm not a hater of smooth jazz, I just listen to different genres of music typically. I'll give this a try.

My teeth don't hurt nearly as much anymore. So maybe I won't need to be terse (or maybe that was a crappy excuse in the first place). I may be concise anyways though, because I'm 2 tracks in and already predicting that I won't know what to write. This is what I expect to hear from smooth jazz. The main show is saxophone with some fairly prominent bass, guitar that occasionally sounds almost Spanish-style but usually is just jazz guitar (with a healthy dosage of funk strumming), light drumming and a sound that varies between funked-up and sparkly (not in a Gary Glitter bubblegum-glam-pedophilia type way, I don't know how to put this in other words). This is the stuff you'd find on a Public Broadcasting radio station at night.

Although this a compilation album, there are 4 unreleased tracks. The first one, Life in The Fasy Lane, is titled as such... Why? It has maybe five percent more energy than any other track, with a BPM increase of maybe five. Those orthos are in for a knockout. I Can features actual lyrics! One of two songs total, and neither is even close to a showcase for songwriting. With a huge shift, the focus in this song is on the piano and string arrangement. Very minimal saxophone except the solo and outro. Bada Bing is neither a Sopranos theme cover nor strip club music, major disappointment. It's very swingy and sounds like rich people music basically. That's my best description, I know I suck. And Then I Knew is the last unreleased track. It features arguably the fullest sound, by about one extra layer of sound somewhere in this mix, I can't tell where. Really I still sound condescending but I'm struggling to describe this all. I'm deliberately avoiding describing any mind imagery I receive which is good because the only image a constantly get is hotel lounges (I broke my own rule, woop woop). One more song I feel the need to comment on (not a new track), Can't Let You Go (The Sha La Song) also adds vocals to the mix, but it's the exact kind of vocals that are so bland they're a detriment the song, even though the guy has a decent singing voice. Guess what kind of singing this has? I'll give you a hint, there's no actual lyrics.

I've decided over the course of this album that I do indeed somewhat enjoy jazz music. However, a full hour of easy listening almost pop jazz? Not to my taste. As I've clearly shown over the past 38 days, my attention span sucks. And this album does nothing to knock me off my feet within 68 minutes. As many have said, this guy knows his audience well. The instrumentation is smooth throughout, the song structures very easy to take in, and the few vocals there are within this album a complete waste of recording effort (though they most certainly should appeal to those who want easy listening). It's soothing, well-composed music, but completely unexciting. Sort of like being in an elevator for 68 minutes. On the rare occasion I was in the mood for jazz I'd prefer an EP.

NOTE: I didn't proofread this review, and I wrote the vast majority of it on my phone. Excuse any poor writing this day please.

[rayword45]

Day 39: It Was Written by Nas (Album Choice: Mario W.)

For the hell of it, I've decided to dedicate the next 3 days to reviewing rap albums. I'll be doing a double today so that's at minimum 4 rap albums covered. First up is It Was Written by Nas. I assume you know who he is, as Nas is by a certain definition a classic rapper, that definition being that he hasn't been huge on the radio in around a decade. His last Top 40 single was I Can in 2003, with one song, Hip-Hop Is Dead peaking at 41 in 2006 but that song features will.i.am and anything to do with the Black Eyed Peas is automatic suck in my book. How can that fool be allowed to feature on anything about the death of artistic integrity and be taken seriously? Such a lack of chart success is most likely a blessing (considering the likes of Drake, Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz getting several top 40 singles) but that's yet to be determined.

Did this guy use a Sam Cooke sample? I just realized, I don't have the same bullcrap bias as many reviewers who thought this was a sophmore slump, I never listened to the first album. The production here is pretty damn good considering this was released in 1996, which is to be expected out of 6 producers total (seriously, how many producers are actually required for an album?). Almost every beat is extremely bass-heavy, with heavy usage of manipulated samples (except for The Set Up and Live ***** Rap). The usage of skits like slave rebellions, street shootings and phone calls as well as well-timed sound effects like cars screeching and police sirens work well for the most part (in contrast, an example of wasted space would be a short intro basically consisting of a conversation between Nas and Dr. Dre), due to heavily imagery-based lyrics. While I'm not sure if it should be described as a concept album, there is a large focus on storytelling and every song features a "ghetto mafioso" theme, which somewhat limits the amount of subject matter that can be covered (which can make it pretty tiring over 59 minutes), though he does freshen things up by changing perspective in several songs such as I Gave You Power. If I Ruled the World (Imagine That) is my personal favorite song, though truthfully, only because it vaguely (and I mean VAGUELY) reminds me of John Lennon for obvious reasons.

I'm going to be honest here, gangsta rap albums are about a dime a dozen. So to stand out, you either need an extremely media-friendly image or you need some amount of talent. This guy has good flow and amazing lyrical talent, but I felt kinda burnt out after an hour of the same subject. I'm not an expert on rap or hip-hop by any means, but people often say that his debut album is superior by a lot, and it's a lot more concise (although that's never a point, it's always about the themes and production being superior). Regardless, this is at least fifteen times better to any of the asscrap rap that I've heard on the radio recently. And it didn't seem too dated at all after 17 years (that's highly impressive on its own). I'd give this a hearty thumbs up but I don't do ratings.

Day 39: Hard To Be Up by Bangs (Album Choice: Sandy M.)

That last sentence was a lie.

For the first time over these past 39 days, I'm going to give a score to an album. In fact, I'm going to score every aspect of this album that I can think of. Out of 10. This isn't going to be a regular thing though.

ALBUM ART:

A picture of the artist's face. Classic choice. But here, his face is set against a backdrop of the city, which sets us up for the album itself. And he managed to get a STUNNING picture of the same backdrop to reflect in his glasses. If that isn't art I don't know what is. The photo quality and Word document text at the top give this album cover an DIY, lo-fi feeling, giving this an almost intimate quality with the homemade aspect of it all, as if he made this album especially for you (or your girl). Astonishing. 10/10

LYRICS AND THEMES: From the very first track, Take U Right Thurr, you can't go one minute without feeling especially moved by the beauty of this man's lyrics. The feeling of love has never been captured so well. The mispronunciation of words, along with the sweet pet names and free-verse poetry aspect to the lyrics (who said you need good rhymes? If anything this lack of consistent rhyming (along with the constant mispronunciation) makes the album seem more human, increasing the beauty of the lyrics). The speech at the end is especially tear-inducing, when he says he's out you almost wish the track would continue in order to regain that feeling. But you don't need a longer track. Shake Dat, the next track, perfectly captures that moment all over again. "When you shake dat, you make me horny" is the most perfect piece of poetry, this guy needs to be named the Poet Laureate of Sudan and Australia.

Tracks like Ain't Feelin' So Right and Can U Come Back induce heartbreak and despair to the point that I can't even type, whereas I Don't Need A Girlfriend is the anger of misunderstandings transferred into rap. When you listen to this album, your concept of emotions will be warped. It's like a soundtrack to the elevator from hell to heaven and back and forth. That's how powerful these emotions are. (An extra note: Along with his ability to capture emotions perfectly, Bangs has an ear for pop music. It's a damn wonder that My Life Is Hard isn't played at every sports game with it's chant backdrop.) 10/10

NON-VOCAL MUSIC:

They say simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication, and indeed, that's where this shines. With the limitations of no real producers, Bangs managed to create some of the most amazing beats using nothing but FL Studio and approximately 2 sample packs. While some would decree this as "amateurish", "repetitive" or "a pile of dogshit" I must say I beg to differ. Like many ambient works, the simplicity of these beats is possibly what causes it to be so harrowing when downbeat, and so captivating when upbeat. The lack of production also makes this album even more intimate, like Bangs is singing to you right there with nothing but his acoustic guitar (or, in this case, cheap synthesizer). The song structures, on the other hand, are a tad bit flawed. The switch from pop singing to rapping is well done, but at times is too sudden, being incredibly jarring. I realize that shows his incredible talents but it's too much of an attack for me to fully appreciate. A darn shame considering the perfection of everything else. 9/10

FLOW:

Bangs takes his rhymes low and slow, like you would with a good pork roast. As I must have said ten thousand times, he doesn't focus on consistent rhyming, he doesn't need it. His free verse poetry style is beautiful in its own right. His story-telling abilities are also amazing, very abstract and simple but always possible to visualize (to an extent). Very few rappers achieve that kind of ability, Bangs has done it with his debut. He's released 3 albums since this one, I assume his flow has remained flat because it doesn't get better than this. 10/10

CONCEPT:

I am fully convinced that this album is a concept album. While many otherwise fantastic albums are completely marred by the obtrusion of a concept (such as Sister by Sonic Youth, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles and Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water by Limp Bizkit) I think that here it does nothing but enhance the music. If anything, it makes every happy song even more tickling and every sad song even more agonizing. For context, I must summarize (pull-up a tracklisting).

The first 2 tracks feature the first lust and love, but the next 2 feature the fallout of Bangs' relationship. Take U To Da Movies is a desperate call to his girl, with Can U Come Back and Let Me Get Dat featuring his near-pathetic cry for her to return. Never Let U Leave is when she has returned, but he's a bit too close for her, driving her away with his clingy behaviors (never let you leave me again). Frequent monologues at the end and beginning of tracks are a look into his mind, as well as the next 2 tracks, My Life Goes Hard and Da Life Goes Hard which double as blues tracks where he laments about his situation in life. His final cry to his girl is in I Miss You, and that's when he finally realizes she's never coming back. The dream pop of My Hotel is his fantasy of his girl while he sleeps, where they make love on a hotel bed. Unfortunately, when he awakens, he realizes it was just a dream, and snaps. A brief penultimate track, I'm Goin' 2 Da Ghetto, features him "returning" to the ghetto in a depressed rage, terrorizing many. The outro features no closure, just a thank you message with inspirational messaging that fades, leaving the true fate of our protagonist unknown.

Many people think that concept albums can be tedious, but that's only when they aren't handled well. Here, the story is poetic but clear as a whistle. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll wonder "WHY ISN'T THIS ON BROADWAY YET!?" 11/10

My conclusion? HOLY CRAP BUY THIS ALBUM 13 TIMES FROM EVERY VENDOR POSSIBLE. ALBUMS LIKE THESE COME OUT ONCE EVERY 2 EONS. MUST OWN. MUST PURCHASE.
13 TIMES

FINAL RATING 6942/10

[rayword45]

Day 40: Recovery by Eminem (Album Choice: Efe Clemenza, ShadowFall, Phillip S.)

For albums, this is a rare exception. I typically try to avoid albums where I can FULLY REMEMBER several radio singles all too well. But I got 3 mothereffin requests and I'm doing rap albums so whatever. I have a bit of bias, I don't care much about Eminem. He's not excruciating the way I find Lil Wayne to be, but I think he's one of the most overhyped rappers ever. I also find it funny how a good chunk of his listeners are young white boys who use him as an excuse for "zomg white men can rap!!" (at least in my experience). I'm also a bit worried. I didn't really like the singles I've heard (Love The Way You Lie in particular gets on my nerves), and 77 minutes is a LONG FREAKING ALBUM. Here we go.

I HATE autotune abuse, and if this is the chorus for the intro track I'm not looking forward to things to come. I lucked out, but this profanity is really quite over-the-top. Passion is one thing, but come on, I can't take it all too seriously when he swears like an angsty middle schooler. I didn't mean to say sailor, I don't understand that saying because I've never met any sailors. I've known many profane middle schoolers though. So it works. The next track is a lot more cleaned up language-wise, yet still painfully overstated. I felt kind of drained out after a while, then he tossed in White Trash Party, which I'm assuming was meant to be humorous. It feels balanced, and thank god for that. I still think the fact that I felt drained at all means this is bordering on overlong. The next few tracks did the same thing the first 4 managed, bore me. Then, up comes No Love. First, I hear Haddaway. Okay then, all's good, then I hear Lil Wayne's trademark obnoxious voice. Why... I decided to look up the guest stars on this album.

Kobe = Who the hell is this?
Lil Wayne = Boo
Rihanna = Boo
Pink = Boo

Wow, what an amazing collection of guest stars. Anyways, back to the music. I have somewhat of a similar opinion to yesterday's first review. Eminem has good flow or syncopation or whatever you want to say, but I feel drained over the entire length of the thing. My main difference is my dislike of the subject matter. Let me break this down a bit. Here are what I view the lyrics as for the most part (maybe I'm missing some deep double meaning but I kinda doubt it).

"I'm the best all you cocksuckers! I'm at the top of the rap game! Yeah! Those last 2 albums may have been panned worldwide but I'm better now. Seriously, I'm the best."
"Girl, I love you. Or loved you. Then you left me/cheated on me/slapped me. Now I want to slit your wrists and superglue your elbows to the inside of a pool filled with lemon juice. Or just rape you."
"I hate the goddamn world. I'm going to go burn a church or bomb Mariah Carey's house or something."
"My best friend is dead."

There are some subject matter changes occasionally (like the aforementioned White Trash Party) but it's not all too common. 4 different topics usually shouldn't be too repetitive, but it feels like he's droning on and on about these same subjects over and over again, topped off with over-the-top profanity and some seriously outdated pop culture references (Kurt Cobain's suicide? Michael J Fox and his Parkinsons?). Lastly, I don't feel the need to comment further on his choice of guest stars, but I will. THEY ALL SUCK. Except maybe Kobe I have no idea who that is.

Like the last "review" I did, I think the beats (non-vocal music) deserve a section of their own, though I'm still avoiding ratings. The more melancholy songs like Going Through Changes and No Love feature melodramatic synth wankery, along with the usual drumbeats. Occasionally we'll hear guitar and piano, but that's not entirely common. And then we have songs that are sampled, like What Is Love?. They're not poorly used samples or anything, they just don't do anything for me. And that seems to be the overall sentiment for these beats. Boredom. And mediocre production considering he had a lot of different producers for each song. Each freaking song.

Well, my opinion hasn't changed at all. I still think Eminem is overrated. He had some speedy rapping skills and good flow and whatever the hell I'm supposed to say, but his lyrics don't do much for me. Nor do the beats. Still wasn't excruciating like Lil Wayne (except for the bit with Lil Wayne) but I don't feel the hype. Plus I don't think this album really needed to be a double, cut out some filler would you?

And I still can't get over the fact that he chose the suckiest guest artists ever.

[dAnceguy117]

wow, how'd I miss this thread? these reviews are awesome! you seem really knowledgeable about popular-ish music, rayword. (are you really 15?)


for recommendations, are you looking for any genres or time periods in particular? and if you have the time, could you update the first post with a list of the reviews you've done, to help avoid repeat suggestions?

[Choofers]

yo I highly recommend listening to good kid m.A.A.d city by kendrick lamar, definitely gonna be considered a classic in 5-10 years

[dAnceguy117]

nuh-uh
Section.80 all the way

[Choofers]

section.80 was good but then he read a few books on storytelling and released m.A.A.d city

[smartdude1212]

Requesting that you listen to The Hass Effect by Electrocado.

[rayword45]

Originally Posted by dAnceguy117

wow, how'd I miss this thread? these reviews are awesome! you seem really knowledgeable about popular-ish music, rayword. (are you really 15?)


for recommendations, are you looking for any genres or time periods in particular? and if you have the time, could you update the first post with a list of the reviews you've done, to help avoid repeat suggestions?

1. Yes, I am 15.
2. I don't look for anything specific. If anything, I'd like the requests to be as eclectic as possible.
3. That's a good idea, I think I'll do that now.