07-1-2008, 09:31 PM | #1 |
CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
|
One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
It's not finished yet - when have I ever started posting something that was finished? In brief, this is my take on domestic terrorism. As I've just been red flagged by the FBI for including the words "Domestric Terrorism" in this post, I'll go on to say that it's domestic terrorists by some of the dumbest people imaginable.
Here are the first 7 pages, of a predicted 20-25. (The stage is set: There is a table in C stage with three chairs – one at the head of the table, two at either side. In the background is a large banner that reads “TIGER’S CLAW”. There are men at every chair, standing. They are dressed somewhat formally. The man at the head of the table is named CRAIG, the leader of the Tiger’s Claw movement. He should wear glasses. The trio are discussing matters of the Tiger’s Claw, when there’s a knock at the door.) CRAIG: What is it? CLARK: (From the other side of the door) Right, well, it’s the new guy, sir. CRAIG: New guy? CLARK: Some guy named Miller. CRAIG: Miller? CLARK: He said you made a joke about it being “Miller Time”. CRAIG: I never joke about Miller Time. MILLER: (From the other side of the door) You made a different joke first, about enjoying a tall glass of Miller. And then asked me if it was “high time”. And I looked at you like I was puzzled. CRAIG: Why would you do that? MILLER: Because I was puzzled. CRAIG: I see… (The man on the SR side of the table, ANDY, pipes up) ANDY: Not to undermine you, sir – CRAIG: What is it, Andy? ANDY: You made a similar joke about my name. “Oh, I’m ready to climb a mountain.” (The third man, named TIM, pipes up) TIM: And you said that, uh… Well, I was a “ticking Tim-bomb.” CLARKE: And you asked if I was a sweet as the candy bar named after me. And I pointed out that I was born far after the bar began manufacturing, and you just kind of grinned to yourself. CRAIG: I honestly don’t know what you all are going on about. TIM: It seems that you lack an interior buffer. CLARKE: You just say the first thing that comes to mind. MILLER: See, that’s what I said to Clarke. Do you get what I’m saying now? CLARKE: Now I do. When you said it, though – ANDY: Most people, they have barriers put up in their mind to stop them from saying things. CRAIG: And you’re saying I lack one of these barriers? ANDY: Yes. CRAIG: I’ll break that barrier down, dammit. ANDY: To break down a barrier, you have to have one in the first place. CRAIG: What did I just say? What did I just tell you? TIM: But you can’t break something that’s not there. CRAIG: Like hell I can’t! I’ll break everything that’s not there! MILLER: (Still behind the door) You really can’t hear yourself, can you? CRAIG: Not through all these rapidly erected barriers! Eric! CLARKE: We don’t have an Eric here, sir. CRAIG: I thought we did. CLARKE: We certainly do not. We had an Aaron a few weeks ago, but – CRAIG: What happened? CLARKE: Let me finish! CRAIG: You were just meandering. Get to the point! CLARKE: I would have gotten to the point if you hadn’t interrupted me, you idiot. As I was saying, Aaron went on an assignment – CRAIG: And that was the end of him. He died for a noble cause. CLARKE: He’s not listening. ANDY: Craig, will you settle? CRAIG: I’m so settled. I couldn’t be any more settled. ANDY: Clarke, finish the story. CRAIG: He doesn’t need to. Andy died nobly, in the line of the duty of the Tiger’s Claw. CLARKE: No he didn’t! No! He didn’t! No one died! Aaron was getting gas at a Conoco and he started chatting up the cashier, and they took the money you gave him and ran off together. They sent you a post card last week. CRAIG: Did they? TIM: It was a beach post card. It said, “Wish you were here.” CRAIG: But I hate beaches… MILLER: I think you’re missing the point, the point is – CRAIG: That Aaron is dead! TIM: No! CRAIG: You didn’t let met finish. Aaron is dead… to me. For sending me that post card. MILLER: The one you didn’t even know you got? CRAIG: Yes. Wait, hold on… Miller… I’m remembering something. MILLER: What? CRAIG: What are you wearing? TIM: What he’s wearing – what? MILLER: You talked to me almost a month ago. I wouldn’t be wearing the same thing at all. CRAIG: Clarke, what is he wearing? CLARKE: A lumber-jack type shirt. MILLER: What? CLARKE: It’s red and black striped, isn’t it? Kind of what a lumberjack would wear? MILLER: The lighting in this hallway is terrible… CLARKE: And he’s wearing a… yellow cumberbund. And… Looks like tuxedo pants and mis-matched shoes. MILLER: Are you blind? CLARKE: It’s just the lighting… MILLER: Can we come in? Please? CRAIG: I don’t like the sound of your outfit, Miller. MILLER: You can’t hear my outfit. You can’t hear any outfit. The ceiling out here is leaky! Don’t be cruel. CRAIG: Cruel is my middle name! You have to be cruel to run a ruthless organization like this! TIM: Or to make people stand in the hallway. CRAIG: My tolerance for evil knows no bounds… ANDY: I’m going to buzz them in. (He does so, the door opens. MILLER and CLARKE walk in. Miller is wearing a t-shirt and slacks.) CLARKE: Oh man, I was way off. CRAIG: Looks like it’s Miller Time! MILLER: You just did it again. CRAIG: What? MILLER: That thing. CRAIG: What thing? MILLER: That stupid pun thing. That stupid pun thing you do. Where you… Where you make a stupid pun. CRAIG: I don’t like your tone, Miller. MILLER: You’re not paying me for my tone, Craig. TIM/ANDY: (Various complaints.) He’s getting paid? Etc… CLARKE: Woah, woah. You said that I would be the first person to be making any money. This clown hasn’t even gone on an assignment yet! CRAIG: Trust me. You all trust me, right? ANDY: Less and less every day. CRAIG: An outfit like ours does not operate well without a healthy dose of paranoia. MILLER: Okay, well – CRAIG: Let’s get right down to brass tracks, shall we? CLARKE: Tacks. CRAIG: No, no taxes, at least, not yet. You can’t declare an organization like this on your W-2. CLARKE: You said “Tracks”. TIM: I heard “Traffic.” ANDY: What? CLARKE: It’s “Tacks,” not “Tax.” CRAIG: No one has to pay taxes! CLARKE: We’re not worried about that! MILLER: God, I can see why Aaron left – CRAIG: Why? He didn’t have to pay taxes – ANDY: He got paid? CLARKE: I thought you said I would be the first person making money – TIM: What about traffic? CRAIG: Settle down! All of you! MILLER: I’m so settled. I couldn’t be any more settled. CRAIG: I like a man who knows how to settle. Clarke, Tim, Andy, Aaron, Eric, you should be taking notes. Then maybe you’d be getting paid, too. I’m not paying you all to be dour. TIM: You’re not paying us at all! MILLER: Well, he’s paying me. TIM: You’re not paying any of us except Miller! ANDY: He bought me a candy bar one time, but I don’t accept that as payment. This is not a trade exchange economy. CRAIG: Why are you doing this to me… I asked you guys not to embarrass me in front of the new guy – MILLER: You said you didn’t remember me – CRAIG: because it undermines my authority. Come on. Tim, Andy, Clarke, Miller – I’ve known you guys most of my life. MILLER: What? CRAIG: And you’ve always had faith in me. MILLER: What? CRAIG: And I expect that this organization be run without me showing nepotism. MILLER: What? CRAIG: It’s favoritism to people I am closely related to. MILLER: No, no, you said you’ve known me – TIM: Yeah, I just met you three months ago. CLARKE: Same. ANDY: You came up to me in a bar on my birthday and said you liked the way my hat looked. I just followed you here. And painted that banner. CRAIG: And you did a fine job. You all are like brothers to me. Brothers from a different mother. Brothers from a different father, even. Like your father’s and mother’s were totally separate from mine. MILLER: Because they were – CRAIG: But in spirit, we are unified. We are family. CLARKE: You are the dumbest person I’ve ever met.
__________________
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
07-2-2008, 02:01 PM | #2 |
Sun and Stars
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
Hahaha, what was pretty neat. I Read about half of it and skimmed through the rest.
I'll read more when I got time.
__________________
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/Br0wnbread Check out my band profile and give it a like! :P |
07-2-2008, 06:57 PM | #3 |
FFR Player
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
You changed from Clark to Clarke somewhere near the beginning.
fyi p.s. I liked it. |
07-11-2008, 08:13 PM | #4 | |
Private Messages, please.
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
A comedy this time, Mal? Or does this get serious? Either way it's definitely another work of yours I will continue to read. If this gets somewhere soon, should be very interesting.
-o24
__________________
Quote:
|
|
07-12-2008, 12:37 AM | #5 |
woah shrooms
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,840
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
Hahahaha I love these kinds of plays.
My Senior year, I'll most likely have to direct a one act for my drama class (I'm going into my Junior year). I'm definitely putting this one act at the top of my choices. |
07-12-2008, 12:44 AM | #6 |
RATOOOOOOOOO
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
hoochan: video tape it if you do, I wanna see it.
I liked it, made me giggle on how stupid Craig was. Sounds like he has a sort of short term memory loss. Will continue to read.
__________________
-4th Official Tournament Expert Divison Champion- |
07-12-2008, 11:33 AM | #7 |
woah shrooms
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,840
|
Re: One Act Play - Tiger's Claw
Haha I'm 100% sure that I will. There's no way I'm putting that much time into directing something and just having the memory of it. Hell no, that ****'s going on tape lol.
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|