Old 11-30-2009, 08:47 PM   #1
25thhour
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Default My Poem I wrote in English Class.

This is my first poem I have written. So I know its not the greatest. Im only in Grade 10. My teacher let us pick numbers and we got a random topic to write a Dramatic Monologue on... I got Batgirl >.<

Well here it is:
Batgirl and Robin

I've been giving you signals every time we fight crime,
I've done it a million times, why dont you get the clue?
Come on and tell me so I dont waste your time,
Are other girls waiting in line for you?

Oh Robin, Oh Robin you're so very sweet,
You let me go in for the final blow,
(but not in a bad way you sick-minded freak!)
When were fighting evil above and below,

I just know that you're the boy for me.
Your smiles like sunshine, it lights up my life,
Your presence is like an STD, I can never get free.
I wish that I could become your wife.

I wish we'd hand out and grab some good MacDonalds (my teacher made a joke saying that this is the garbage can behind McDonalds) tonight.
Being with you is like being in heaven,
I wish this were true but I know it might,
Just be the old chicken from seven-eleven.

--------------

Oh yeah, I suck a poetry. ;P
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Not terrible. I sang it as a read it; Decent pop song at the least.
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:07 PM   #3
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Haha, Thanks. My teacher wants me to dress up in costume and present it in front of the class...
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Second stanza was pretty clever, made me chuckle.

The rest however, was pretty cliche. Not a bad idea for a poem though. Maybe give it some more creative metaphors and similes. Adding some imagery couldn't hurt either.
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:27 PM   #5
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Thanks for the constructive criticism. It is my first poem and I have to write more this semester in english. I'll post them on here and I hopefully get better at writing them.

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Old 11-30-2009, 09:52 PM   #6
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

maybe sticking to anapestic tetrameter or something like that throughout the poem can give it more flowww. if ya know what I mean.

hey nice job though. I couldn't have written a better dramatic monologue about Batgirl ^_^
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:50 PM   #7
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

I made a rap for my geography teacher. He asked someone to make a rap about something geography related, and of course some rap-obsessed tramp blurted out, "Aw yeah, Antonio (or whatever) can rap hecka good" and Antonio (or whatever) agreed and started bragging about himself with his friend. I thought to myself, "Yeah right, no way you're smart enough to compose something," so I actually made a rap even though I didn't have to. I'm a white guy and I usually dislike rap, but I made a rap about pyroclastic flow.

I think you can make the poem better, but it is good.
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:07 PM   #8
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Not in the bad way?

More like not in the awesome way.
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Old 12-1-2009, 08:26 AM   #9
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Thanks Guys :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRubix View Post
Not in the bad way?

More like not in the awesome way.
Lmao, I would've wrote that but my english teacher might not have accepted it.
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Old 11-9-2010, 02:09 PM   #10
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

I'm a sucker for good poetry because I'm a poet and author myself and I loved this poem You did a great job and I liked the simile of "your presence is like an STD I cannot break free." great job and keep up the good work
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Old 11-25-2010, 01:03 AM   #11
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

I really enjoyed you poem 25thhour. Its really Good and Adorable :P
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:27 PM   #12
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

I read it in a Batman voice.
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Old 01-13-2011, 06:58 PM   #13
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

WTTFFF? Holy fuck this is an old poem LMAO.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:44 PM   #14
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Robin should tap that
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Old 02-14-2011, 12:04 PM   #15
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

I personally found the poem repulsive and mediocre, but even that is giving it more credit than it deserves.
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:27 PM   #16
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 25thhour View Post
My teacher wants me to dress up in costume and present it in front of the class...
Your teacher is a sadist.
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Old 02-16-2011, 10:13 PM   #17
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Default Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorby View Post
I personally found the poem repulsive and mediocre, but even that is giving it more credit than it deserves.
Trolling
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