Loss and Gain, a short story

[Family_Of_Geniuses]

This is a Short story I wrote. It's kinda long for a short story, but it's not long enough to be called a novel. Anyway, I hope someone can find the time to read it.


Christina sullenly walked into the room. As usual, her face bore a blank expression. Her eyes had their own darkness about them. In her face alone, one saw depression, uncaring, and every form of anger. Her clothes projected a gothic feel. Her shirt was a creepy dark red, and her skirt was black, bordered with red. Her skirt was short and her shirt showed off her waist. She wore black, over-the-knee boots, with red tassels coming off the zippers. She always wore a blood-red headband, over which her long bangs draped. Her black hair was streaked with red highlights. She wore black lipstick and red eyeliner. Her entire image showed her rebel nature, as well as her dislike of everything bright and joyful.
She tossed her backpack to the floor and went up the stairs to her room. Her room was painted all black, and the ceiling, red. She considered black and red to be the darkest, creepiest colors, so naturally, her wardrobe and furniture were all black and red. She arranged everything this way to repel other people. She ignored anything people said about her, and if anyone did anything kind for her, she considered it humiliating, and always found some way to get revenge and humiliate them. She had quite an anger issue, and had strong reactions toward people she didn’t like, even if all they did was say “hi”. Because of these things, she had no friends. Even this, though, did not make her lonely.
“Christy!” Her father called. Her mother had been killed in a fire, attempting to protect her. Now she lived alone with her father, Henry. They had become very uncommunicative since her mother had died. Not to mention, her father was completely opposite of her. He wore bright clothes, and always seemed to be smiling. He had long, thick, wavy blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes. He was a Christian, a Christ follower. He was the science professor for a Christian college, and was gone most of the time. Whenever he was home, she avoided him.
“Christy!” He called again.
“What!?” She yelled, in an agitated tone.
“Your friend, Cynthia, from school is here to see you!” He said. Friend? She had no friends, and always knew that anyone who said they were her “friend”, must be up to something. She grunted, and opened her door. She stomped down the stairs in an annoyed manner. When she saw the smiling face of Cynthia, sitting on the couch, her anger rose. She grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.
“What do you think you’re doing here!?” She said, angrily.
“Mother suggested I come over and give your family this.” She held up a cake, continuing to smile. “You don’t have many friends do you? Maybe we could be friends.” Christina turned red with fury. She grabbed the cake and threw it to the ground. The frosting splattered all over the sidewalk.
“Go AWAY ! I don’t need any friends ! And tell your mom she sucks, and I hate her!” She shouted. Cynthia’s face turned red. She sniffed, and Christina watched her turn around and run away, crying. She turned around herself and went back inside, running up to her room and slamming the door.
Henry was at the window, watching the whole transaction. He flinched at the loud sound of the door being slammed. For a few moments he could hear the crashing sounds of shelves being knocked over. When all was quiet, he sighed. He had been trying so hard to get his daughter to see the light. He wanted her to be able to make friends, rather than trying to repel them. Every day, his hopes for her sank lower and lower, until he finally gave up. He tried to tolerate this behavior, fearing that if he did any more she would run away. And, in a way, he understood how she felt. Since her mother died, things had been hard. He figured, the reason she did these things was so she wouldn’t be hurt again. He thought she must be afraid that if she grows attached to someone, something would happen to them. And, even though he wanted his daughter to have a better life, he found it best not to interfere.
He let out a heavy sigh, and got up. As he headed upstairs to his room, he lingered by Christina’s door. He expected the sounds of her pounding her bed, or mumbling to herself in a rage. To his surprise, though, he heard sobbing. He opened the door a crack. He could see her, lying on her bed. Her face was pressed into a pillow, and he could hear her muffled sobs. Quietly, he closed the door, and went into his own room. He knelt by the bed, and folded his hands. He bowed his head, and began to pray.
“Dear, Lord. Please, help my daughter. She’s in such a time of pain and grief in her life. And she’s completely forgotten you. Her life is such a mess, and I just pray you can help her. Help her to finally, see you, and realize what a great and powerful God you are. Since what happened to her mother, she gave up on the world, on you. That joyful smile of hers is gone, and she’s just filled with an utter hatred of everything. God, I would sacrifice anything, to see her smile. To hear her laugh once more. To see her realize, that life isn’t as bad as it seems. And I want her to be able to follow you. To be able to see the things you’ve done in her life. Lord, I know that everything is in your hands, and you have great plans for her. Please, help her. Please…” He closed with an “Amen”, and got in bed.
The alarm rang. Christina turned it off, and wearily got out of bed. She checked her calendar. May 15th. She sighed.
“Great… My birthday. The last thing I need is for more people trying to be nice and giving me presents.” She sighed again. “I don’t even think I want to go to school today…” She went downstairs. Her father was sitting at the table smiling cheerily, and reading a newspaper. He looked up.
“Good morning, Christy!” He said, joyfully. Her father was a morning person. She hated that. She grunted and put some waffles in the toaster.
“Aw c’mon, sweetie! It’s your birthday! Why not try smiling just once?” He said. She ignored him and sat down. As she ate her breakfast, her father made several attempts at conversation. All were futile. She either only grunted in response, or ignored him completely. She realized that he was trying especially hard today, and was quickly becoming aggravated. He could see her temper was rising, and became silent for a moment. After a few moments, he decided he would try one more time.
“C’mon Christy. Today, I think you should try to make at least one friend. You always seem lonely so-” Her temper rose at this comment, and she jumped out of her seat, pounding the table with her fist.
“Will you just shut up !? Why do you keep talking to me!? Are you trying to make me mad!? I’ve told you before, I don’t need any friends! Why can’t you mind your own business, and leave me alone!?” She grabbed her bag. And started out the door.
“Christy!” He said.
“I’m going to school!” She yelled, slamming the door behind her.
Rather than taking the bus, Christina ran all the way to school. By the time she got there, she had cooled off a bit. She made it to class just as the bell rang. She sat at her desk, staring off into space. When they were released for recess, she remained in her chair. She got out an old notebook, and began writing stories in it. She had always had a talent for writing that no one knew about. She always hid her stories, and wrote whenever no one could see. She had many notebooks in her locker, filled with stories, and little illustrations. She often wrote to flush out her stress. And it was on of the only things she ever cared about.
She put her notebook away as the other students were called back to class. The teacher handed out some sheets of paper and began her lesson. Her teacher’s name was Caroline Starly. She was a tall lady, in her twenties. Her hair was black, and was always done up in a ponytail. She was a bright young woman, who loved kids, especially those in their teens. She was the best teacher in the school, and everyone’s favorite. Christina was embarrassed to say it, but she actually liked Ms. Starly herself.
In the middle of the lesson, the secretary came in to talk to Ms. Starly. She glanced at Christina, then followed the secretary out of the room. The students watched her leave the room. Some of the students began whispering to each other, wondering what was going on. After a few minutes, Ms. Starly came back into the room, looking extremely worried. The students stared at her, waiting to hear what she would say. She cleared her throat, which was her habit whenever she was nervous.
“Um… Christina…?” She said. “We got a call from the hospital…” Christina, was surprised. What was the hospital calling her for? Ms. Starly cleared her throat again.
“They would like you to head over immediately. It seems your father was… in an accident.” She said. Christina’s heart stopped. Her father? In an accident? And he was in the hospital? She couldn’t believe her ears. Suddenly, she jumped up and ran out of the room. And, despite Ms. Starly’s best attempts, the other students followed.
Christina ran as fast as she could, all the way to the hospital. The other students followed her with some difficulty. When she got to the hospital, a nurse greeted her. The nurse told her to follow, and walked off. As she walked, she spoke to Christina, who was following behind, nervously.
“As you must know, your father was in a car accident. He had been walking across the street, when a drunken driver started flying out of control. Several cars were in the accident, and he was in the middle of it all. The damage is bad and his chances are slim. Your being there may help, but it’s not very likely. I’m afraid this may be the last time you’ll ever see your father. You’d better say goodbye, while he’s still awake.” The nurse looked back at her, sympathetically. They stopped at a door. At a peek through the window, Christina could see her father lying on the bed. She opened the door and rushed in. The doctors that were tending him left the room so she could be alone with him. The students crowded around the window.
Christina ran to her father’s bed. He was wrapped in bandages. She could see he was in a lot of pain. His eyes were closed, and his face was pale. She stood next to him silently for a moment, staring into his face in a daze. For a split second, everything seemed to disappear, to grow dark, and impossible to make out. Suddenly, it dawned on her. Her father was dying! Slowly she sat down in a chair next to the bed, shivering.
“Dad…” She said quietly. He made no response. She jumped up.
“Dad!” She said, louder this time. She shook him. He made a groaning sound, and slowly opened his eyes. But upon seeing his daughter, he brightened. He smiled weakly, and said,
“Hello, Christy…” Christina’s eyes welled up with tears. She couldn’t believe it. It was happening again. Was she about to lose the only other person she ever loved? She had always tried to hide it, but she loved her father more than anything else in the world. She felt like she might give up on living all together if anything were to happen to him, and now… Now he was lying in a hospital bed, covered in wounds, and on the verge of death. Her heart pounded harder at the thought. She put her hand on her fathers. He looked up at her.
“I knew you were just… faking it…” He said, still smiling. Christina gritted her teeth. Somehow, even through all this pain, he could still smile. He could still smile, as though it were an average day.
“I’m so happy… that you’re here.” He said. “You must be awfully worried about me… Don’t be. Everything is fine. But… I’m happy you care so much.” She could feel her temper rising. But this time, it was not anger. It was not frustration. It was bitter sorrow. She couldn’t restrain herself. The emotions poured out, as she bitterly said,
“How can you be so happy all the time!? How can you smile as though everything’s fine!? I don’t know what perfect little world you’re living in, but this is reality! Nothing’s fine! Everything’s wrong, and messed up! You’re lying in a hospital bed! You can’t even move, and you say that everything’s fine!? How can you be so laid back!? How can you be so joyful!?” Suddenly, she laid her head on the bed and started sobbing. Her heart had never felt so heavy before. She couldn’t bear it. She continued to sob, unable to stop. Suddenly, she didn’t care anymore though. She didn’t care what other people thought of her, she didn’t care what would happen to her. All she cared about was the fact that her father was dying. She couldn’t accept it, but her denying it only made it worse. She poured out all of her bitter frustrations, and sorrows in her tears. After a while, she had calmed down some, but didn’t move from her position. Henry looked at his daughter with sympathy. He realized how much pain she had been in ever since her mother had died. She must have been blaming herself this whole time… He thought. He put a hand on her head, and stroked her hair. She lifted her head from the sheets to look at him.
“You wanted to know how I can be so happy? It’s partly because God changed my life when I first accepted him. When I met my wife. But the other reason…” He said, “Is because of you…” She looked at him in surprise. He let out a small laugh.
“You and your mother were the greatest blessings God ever gave me. The moment you were born, I could have been the happiest man alive. I loved the two of you so much. And when that building caught fire, with the two of you still inside, I learned how much she was willing to risk for you.” He coughed, and leaned backward. He let out a small groan of pain.
“Dad!” Christina yelled.
“A-after your mother died, I tried… even harder to protect you… To love you as much as your mother did. I guess I… failed, didn’t I?” He squeezed her hand. She could barely hold the tears back.
“Dad… You didn’t fail. You succeeded every way you could. It was my fault. I was the one making it difficult for you… It was my fault.” She began sobbing again. Henry drew his daughter’s hand toward him and kissed it.
“Shh… Don’t cry… You don’t have to worry about me.” He grinned, “After all, I’m just… going home…” His grip on her hand grew weaker.
“D-dad…” Christina said. Her father began to quietly sing an old hymn. It happened to have been her mother’s favorite one. She hummed along a little. Every once in a while his voice quavered, and eventually, his voice began to trail off. He barely finished the chorus before stopping completely. Suddenly, his hand grew completely limp. His face eased from the tensed, pained expression to a peaceful one. His breathing slowed to a stop, at the same time as his heart. Christina held her breath. Was he really… Dead? She waited a few minutes, hoping. She began to lose hope. And, as a last resort, for the first time in a long while, she prayed. Her father did not revive though, and, through heavy tears, she ran out of the room.
This time, the students only watched her run out. They remained in the hospital, though. Christina ran across street after street, passing by building after building, until she had run all the way back to her house. She put her hand on the door knob, but hesitated. How many times had her father gone through this door? How many times had he walked in to see her there, in her gothic outfits, never smiling? And how many times had he seen her this way, yet still felt a great, unexplainable joy and love for her? She thought she could finally stop crying, but a tear ran down her cheek. Her heart was racing as she thought about her father. As she thought about all the good times they had together. And she remembered how she had ignored all of his attempts to show his love for her. She realized that he was only trying to protect her. Trying to protect her from a lonely life. At the thought, she suddenly remembered the one who had tried to protect her to the last. She remembered her mother. She remembered the hot flames, blazing around her. She could feel herself choking on the smoke. She felt herself grow faint, barely able to stand. Everything was fading away. She wanted to give up. And she was about to, when she heard a voice. It was mother, calling out to her. She remembered seeing the soft face of her mother. Her crystal blue eyes, staring into her own. And she remembered her crawling toward her, and grabbing hold of her. She remembered her mother clutching her, trying to protect her from the flames. And she remembered her cries for her mother as she clung to her. Then, everything became blurry, and began to fade away again.
Suddenly, Christina snapped out of the memory. Again she was standing at the door, her hand grasping the cold brass knob. She sighed, then turned the knob, and gave the door a push. She looked inside. She saw the house was decorated with streamers and balloons. The kitchen table had been moved to the living room, and a big cake sat on it. There was a huge pile of wrapped presents on the couches. Candy, and chips, and lots of other kinds of junk foods sat on the table, surrounding the cake. Stretching across the room, in front of the stairs was a large banner. On the banner were three words, written in large, fancy letters:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA
Christina’s eyes welled up with tears. Her father had meant to surprise her with a birthday party. It was his last attempt to earn her love. She couldn’t believe how terrible she had been. She couldn’t stand to look at the bright decorations, for the pain of it all. She closed the door and ran off. She didn’t know where she would go, and she didn’t care. She just wanted to get away. She wanted to run from the pain altogether. But in her heart, she knew she couldn’t. She knew that no matter how fast she ran, she would always bear the pain of having lost both her parents. As well as the guilt of not showing her father the love he deserved. So she didn’t run far. She lingered by an old store. It was a Bible store. The store clerk noticed her, and called to her. He began to come up to her, but she ran away. She ran away, as she was so good at doing. She ran away, just like she did with everything. Instead of facing the problem, she always ran away.
The school was under a cloud. All of the students had come to the school early the next day, dressed neatly. Everything had been gotten into perfect order. But today was not a happy day. No, today was full of sorrow. Sorrow for the death of Henry. Henry was very popular among the townsfolk. He was well known for finding some way to cheer people up, and for his Christian ways. Everyone in town had grown to love him, which made his death all the more painful. Who would be there to cheer everyone up now? Who would be able to show everyone the kindness and love that he had? No one could think of such a person as could take the place of Henry. But just as much as him, the students couldn’t help but think about his daughter, Christina. After all, she would be the one most in pain about this. What would they say to her? Several of the students could be found in small groups, praying for Christina.
Finally, Christina walked into the school building, looking more sullen than usual. No one said anything as she silently walked by. Every motion she made was depressing. Her face was full of sorrow. She seemed pale and weak. The students couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. They tried to think of something to say, but even the teachers remained silent for the remainder of the lessons.
After class, Christina remained in her desk a moment, rather than getting up straight away. When all of the students had left the room already, she slowly got up. She put her books in her bag, and was about to leave the room, when Ms. Starly stopped her. She turned and looked at her, wanting to be left alone. Upon seeing her expression, Ms. Starly hesitated. After a few seconds she got the resolve to speak. She cleared her throat, but it didn’t seem to help. Her voice sounded dry and weak.
“Um… a man came by to see me this morning. He said he wanted to speak to you. He said that he had seen you yesterday, but you ran off.” Christina knew who she was talking about, but remained silent. Her gaze made Ms. Starly nervous. She cleared her throat again.
“He said there was something he wanted to give you. He told me your father had bought it for you yesterday, before the… accident.” Christina’s heart ached when she heard the word. She wanted to run away again, but stood still.
“He said your father was going to give it to you, but never got the chance. So he wanted to give it to you for him.” Ms. Starly continued. “Um… Here.” She fumbled in her pocket and brought out a small wrapped present. It had her name on it. Christina took it, and began to take the wrapping paper off. Inside was a small Bible. She could feel her heart ache again.
“S-so, this was… f-for me? From… Dad?” She said, her voice cracking. Ms. Starly nodded. Christina could feel the tears streaming down her face. She held the little Bible to her chest, suddenly feeling a small relief.
“Th-thank you…” She whispered. With that, she ran out of the room.
Christina got off the bus and opened the door to her house. The decorations were still up. She set the Bible on the table in her room, and got changed. She went back downstairs. Seeing the decorations, she decided to have her own little party. She sang songs, and opened the presents. She blew out candles on her cake, and stuffed herself with junk food. She watched several movies, put on music, danced until she couldn’t walk, and had a great time. And through it all, she imagined that her father was there with her. Dancing with her and singing. She imagined him laughing joyfully as they partied all night. And all through the night, she smiled. She who had not smiled since she was little, was now unable to stop grinning. She felt as though her father really was there, and that was enough to make her happy.
Christina lay on the living room floor, surrounded by trash and ripped up wrapping paper. She looked at the clock. It was past midnight. She got up, and sleepily walked upstairs. She brushed her teeth, and changed into pajamas. She was about to get into bed, when she noticed something on the table. It was the little Bible. She picked it up. She laid on her bed, and held the little Bible up. She traced the letters on the cover with her finger, then flipped through some of the pages. She put it down on her desk, but after a few moments, picked it up again. She opened it to the first page. And, with a little sigh, began to read.
The next day, Christina came to school more cheerful than usual. The other students noticed the sudden change like snow on a summer day. They let it pass, though, thinking it was probably just a faze having to do with her father’s accident. But as the days passed, they became more and more worried. This wasn’t like her at all! She was often the earliest person to arrive at school. Her locker and her outfit transformed from dark and creepy, to bright and cheery. Her grades went from failing, to straight A’s. She no longer overreacted whenever someone was kind to her. By the end of the week, she was the most cheerful, attentive student in the entire school. Not only were her grades and looks completely different, but her bad temper seemed to have disappeared completely!
Christina’s strange behavior had gotten the entire school into a commotion. Naturally, this caused several rumors to be raised. Some said that she wasn’t really Christina, but rather, some imposter. Others said that she might be in love. Still others thought she might be doing drugs. But no matter what sort of rumors spread, though, everyone was afraid to ask her what was really going on. Even though she seemed nice now, they still had a fear of her old temper. So no one knew what she was really doing, that she rushed home so quickly for. No one knew that everyday, as soon as she got home, Christina was reading the Bible. After reading it that day, in her room, she had become quite interested. She started out only reading so much of it a week, but soon was reading it hour after hour every day. She marked her favorite parts, and read them over and over. And, no matter how many times she read it, it only became more and more intriguing. No one knew that she was already half way through it. After a while though, someone got the courage to speak to her. That person was Ms. Starly.
When the bell rang, dismissing the class, that’s when Ms. Starly decided to talk to Christina. Christina had been holding the door for all of the students, and was just about to leave when Ms. Starly called her name. She closed the door, and faced her. Ms. Starly was a little startled by the sweet, joyful, innocent way she looked at her. She had never seen her this way, and always became jumpy around her strange behavior. This only made Ms. Starly more curious, and she spoke up. This time with a more courageous tone than she had ever taken with Christina.
“Christina, I was wondering if I might speak to you.” She said. “Do you mind?” Christina smiled.
“Of course not.” She said. She sat down at one of the desks, staring at Ms. Starly with an innocent curiosity. Ms. Starly paused, intrigued by the strange innocence that she presented.
“It’s about your behavior lately.” She finally said. “You’ve somehow gotten the entire school into a commotion over it.” She looked at Christina, who only stared, waiting for her to continue. Ms. Starly cleared her throat.
“It’s been worrying everyone, but no one had the courage to ask. They wanted to know what was causing you to act this way.” Christina only grinned at her teacher. Ms. Starly cleared her throat a few times. She hesitated before asking,
“Are you… doing drugs by any chance?” Christina chuckled.
“Of course not. I would never do anything like that.” She said, smiling. Ms. Starly felt relieved. Not only at this answer, but that Christina was not offended by her question. But her curiosity had yet to be quenched.
“So… what is causing this behavior?” She said. Christina stood up.
“That’s easy.” She said. “My father spoke to me.” Ms. Starly was surprised.
“He… Spoke to you?” She asked. Christina nodded.
“Yup! And he wants to speak to me again, so I’d better get home. I can’t keep him waiting.” She grinned at Ms. Starly as she left the room. Ms. Starly watched her leave, but remained in the classroom. Ms. Starly was not a superstitious person, and had a natural distaste for anyone who had any sort of superstition. She didn’t believe in ghosts, or bad luck, or any of those things. And she least of all believed in the stories of the dead talking to the living. A fear crept over her, as a sudden thought appeared in her mind. Though she tried to deny it, the thought would not leave. What if… Christina was going insane? After all, there had been instances before, of people losing their grip on reality because of a deceased love. Ms. Starly shook her head. It couldn’t be! Not poor Christina.
Ms. Starly headed home, and staid in her room for a while, musing. After a while, she got up and left the house to take a walk. Somehow, she found herself at Christina’s front door. She had half consciously walked there, due to her worries. She sighed, and decided she would check on her. She walked up the steps and held her hand up to knock on the door. Suddenly she heard some loud noises. Christina had turned the music on. She peered through the window, wondering what she was doing. She could see Christina, dancing. But she wasn’t just dancing by herself, but it seemed she was dancing with someone. She made gestures in the air, as though doing a waltz with some invisible person. Ms. Starly only watched, her fears growing, as Christina danced with her imaginary partner. After a while, she stopped, and went in the other room. Ms. Starly saw her come back in, and begin to pace the room, waving her arm in the air, and speaking loudly. Ms. Starly grew more and more fearful every second, and finally had to draw away from the window for fear of doing something drastic. She went home, alarmed and jumpy. She was unable to sleep that night.
The next day, Ms. Starly was unable to concentrate. She seemed incapable of taking her eyes off Christina. She suddenly decided that everyone could have an all recess day. The principal scolded her, but she was too out of it to notice. He finally gave up yelling at her, and her decision remained. Ms. Starly sat at her desk, staring off into space. Eventually, without realizing it, she dozed off. When she awoke, she noticed that Christina was now sitting at her desk. She had a notebook out and was writing in it. At a glance at the clock, Ms. Starly saw that it was only 11:47. She stared at Christina, so intently writing in her notebook. She silently got up, and stood behind Christina, watching her write. Christina didn’t notice until Ms. Starly brushed her head by mistake. She made a startled sound, and reflexively closed the notebook. But Ms. Starly grabbed it. Christina tried to get it back, but Ms. Starly didn’t give it to her, and instead began to read it. After a few moments, she closed it, and looked at Christina. She suddenly smiled at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were so good at writing?” She asked. Christina looked surprised.
“You… you like it?” She said, in shocked tone.
“Like it? I love it! The stories are written with such vividness, it’s as though I’m really there. You’re quite talented.” Christina blushed.
“But… these last few writings. So sad. Depressing. Why did you write them?” She said, suddenly becoming serious. Christina frowned. Any joy left in her face disappeared. Ms. Starly became concerned. She hoped she hadn’t brought up any bitter memories.
“These are… Because of your parents aren’t they?” She said, quietly. Christina trembled, her eyes filling with tears. She suddenly looked up at her teacher, tears streaming down her face, and burst out,
“I wish they were here. I wish they were here! I was so terrible to my father… And mother somehow felt she had to protect me in that fire! Their deaths… They’re all my fault!” She sobbed, trying to wipe the tears away. But no matter how many times she wiped them away, the steady stream wouldn’t stop. Ms. Starly hugged her.
“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have brought that up…” She said, sympathetically. They sat in the same position for some time. Christina all the while saying,
“It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault!” After Christina had settled down a bit, Ms. Starly cupped a hand under her chin, and made her look into her face.
“It’s not your fault, Christina. You understand, it was meant to be. Your parents died for you sake, and you should feel honored that they would do that for you.” She said. She smiled. Christina stopped sobbing.
“You know… I’ve noticed, you’ve been eyeing me the whole day…” Christina said, after a while. “I also know that you were at my house yesterday.” Ms. Starly looked surprised. Christina chuckled.
“Yeah, I could see you in the window. And I know that you thought I was crazy. And I guess I gave you plenty of reasons to think so. But there’s an explanation. You see, when I was dancing the other day, as though I was dancing with someone else, I was imagining my father there with me. I guess it was a way for me to cope with the guilt. Pathetic huh?” Christina paused. “And when I was waving my arms in the air, talking to myself? I was actually reading my Bible out loud.” Ms. Starly was surprised. She had never expected Christina to ever read a Bible. She was also a little relieved. Maybe Christina still had a chance at being saved.
“And what I said to you. About my father speaking to me? I wasn’t talking about My dad, Henry. I was talking about my dad, God.” She said, smiling. “And you know what? I love the stories in the Bible. About the Good News, and the great things God does. And I think… I think I know why dad was so happy all the time. And I also think… I want to be happy too. I want… to be Christian!” Ms. Starly hugged her.
“Oh, that’s wonderful! And you can easily become one! All it takes is a little prayer. A little prayer, asking God into your heart.” She said. And Christina folded her hands, and bowed her head. She was silent for a moment. Then she looked up, her face beaming with joy. For now… now she was a Christian!
The next day, her newfound faith was announced to the school. And everyone found relief in this new knowledge. Christina began making more and more friends. She quickly became popular in the town. Unable to pay for her father’s house, she had to sell, and she was living with Ms. Starly. But that was fine with her. She started writing novels - faith stories - and managed to get several of them published. The next year, she became a missionary, traveling from country to country, spreading the Good News, and helping people on their way to becoming Christian. After half a year, she returned to her home town to do college, and graduated at the age of 19. She became a pastor soon after, and formed a partnership with Ms. Starly. She bought her father’s house back, but she still continued to travel. Together, she and Ms. Starly became well known missionaries, helping hundreds of people, starting several churches, and teaching the Good News.

[-Moo-]

...

ur gai; didn't read

[customstuff]

I thought you said short story! I didn't read it because I'm kinda busy at the moment.

[Tokzic]

lmfao

on second thought allow me to reiterate

WHAT A NICE, WHOLESOME, STORY

IT'S ABOUT TIME THIS FORUM HAD SOME GOOD CHRISTIAN FICTION ON IT, I ODN'T APPROVE OF ALL THIS SATANIC NONSENSE ABOUT DRUGS AND NOT JESUS

GOOD JOB, YOUR PRESIDENT WOULD APPROVE

[Family_Of_Geniuses]

thnx, I'm sure he would
somehow, I cn't believe u actually read it though.

[Tokzic]

no i read it i just find it hilariously disgustingly bad and felt the need to barrage you with sarcastic ridicule sorry

[Family_Of_Geniuses]

I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

[Dimitri13]

tl;dr

p.s. Oops, can't show THIS in a christian short-story.

[ShastaTwist]

This story kind of made me want to kill myself.

It's unrealistic that child protection services didn't haul her out of her house right after her father died.

Other than that, this story wasn't very enlightening and I think you intended it to be that.

[Dimitri13]

Wow. I read random pieces of this story. I read the first paragraph, the paragraph where she walked into school, and several others.

And they all contained descriptions of how emo she was. I don't want 5 paragraphs of emo.

[ShastaTwist]

Originally Posted by Dimitri13

I don't want 500 paragraphs of emo.

Fix'd.

[gabgabo]

Wow, I thought it was short, very long to me.

[massflavour]

Originally Posted by Family_Of_Geniuses

thnx, I'm sure he would
somehow, I cn't believe u actually read it though.

i'm gonna pretend you didn't say that

in before more flames

[massflavour]

edit: read about half of it seeing as I have nothing else to do at 2 in the morning. Why such a contrast in Christina's character? first she's all bitchy, then she all the sudden acts like someone instantly talked some sense into her head. Also, the characters are too.. typical. there wasn't a huge amount of thought put into their personalities, just the "typical" christian parent trying to deal with his troubled daughter. there are so many cliches in this piece of writing it isn't even funny.

Originally Posted by gabgabo

post

k dude just stop it already

[Family_Of_Geniuses]

To all who posted commented on my story: Thanks! I always look forward to hear from other people ways I can make my stories better. I think criticism is the best thing to get from your readers when you're an ametuer like me. i'll be sure to take all of your suggestions to mind.

[MalReynolds]

I too read the whole thing.

What the hell?

[ShastaTwist]

Makes you want to kill yourself, doesn't it?

[massflavour]

yes

in the worst way possible

[Izzy-chandess]

Ummm... Okay... Completely unrealistic change in the character. Being Christian doesn't make you happy automatically and reading the Bible during the week doesn't, either. I go to Bible studies every week and it doesn't make me a happier person. Do your research, ask kids that have lost both of their parents what it's like, and all that jazz. I just read it because I have time on my hands... Yeah. I found it very rough and unpolished. It needs work and avoid cliches! They are bad for you!

[.dot]

mmk so i read it
and i want to commit suicide