Old 05-1-2007, 07:08 AM   #21
sujishishou
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Default Re: "Lessons"

girls can read?
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Old 05-1-2007, 04:56 PM   #22
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Default Re: "Lessons"

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girls can read?
No, we're obviously illiterate. Can't you tell? =P
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Old 05-1-2007, 04:57 PM   #23
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Default Re: "Lessons"

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No, we're obviously illiterate. Can't you tell? =P
I myself can neither read nor write. All of my so called stories and posts can be attributed to fits of perplexing whimsy.
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Old 05-1-2007, 05:00 PM   #24
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I myself can neither read nor write. All of my so called stories and posts can be attributed to fits of perplexing whimsy.
I have brain farts.
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Old 05-1-2007, 05:29 PM   #25
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Default Re: "Lessons"

This conversation should be in another thread.
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Old 05-2-2007, 12:11 AM   #26
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Default Re: "Lessons"

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This conversation should be in another thread.
biased post.
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Old 06-11-2007, 01:50 PM   #27
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Default Re: "Lessons"

It took me forever to finally read this poem.

People have been whining about the cliches. I mean, every single line is a cliche. Because of that I took it to be a funny perspective on emo teenagers writing poetry filled with stock lines and forced emotions.

Sorry if that sounds offensive, but that's how I saw it. As far as improvements go, if you really were going for the idea being purported with the words of the poem, I would get rid of the cliches altogether. Even one makes the work sound hackneyed.

-Chaz

EDIT: also, free verse may be leaving you too many options and causing you to use cliches when other forms wouldn't allow it. it's like I always say, it's easy to write mediocre free verse, but it's harder to write great free verse than a great poem in form.
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dammit chaz
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god dammit chaz
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I bet when you live in a glass house, the temptation to throw stones is magnified strictly because you're not supposed to.

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