04-24-2008, 07:20 PM
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#1 |
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stating the obvious.
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Age: 34
Posts: 337
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So, i thought i'd post a poem.
Maybe this is more likened to prose. tell me what you think. it is titled "adrift."
the soft light that hangs in the mist above impenetrable waters, churning murkily beneath heavy feet, illuminates the pieces of a forgotten memory. Unable to follow; watching with solemn eyes that glisten as if trapped in the past. The thoughts dance serenely out to sea, gliding out delicately across the surface of a broken dream; Exhuming idle feelings to never return again.
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Last edited by Aleste; 04-24-2008 at 07:25 PM.. |
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04-29-2008, 09:14 PM
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#2 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: I Must Belong Somewhere
Age: 32
Posts: 104
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Re: So, i thought i'd post a poem.
I like it.
Very pretty. Almost surreal, actually.
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05-19-2008, 06:26 PM
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#3 | |
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FFR Player
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1
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Re: So, i thought i'd post a poem.
It's a pretty good poem, but the bolded part below is kind of off... I dunno, there's something missing there. The rest is good, though. I like it
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