Haniel

[Domie-chan]

okay a forum huh... been a while me thinks so i though ti woulod entic ethe populace with some of my writing.....

The wind passes over a crimson sky
The blood of a thousand heroes drenches the ground
Amongst all this she cries, a crimson maiden lying in the dust
Her life as shattered as the blade in her hand
She lay under the graceful protection of her pure white wings
Gently she smiles, she had achieved the impossible and
Made the life of an innocent possible
Her last words before she faded to nothing were
“I name thee Haniel”


Not that great but hope people enjoy it never the less, will post more if i get good feedback ^^

[OrganisM]

Has potential but the metaphors feel a little cheap. Don't worry, I'm often guilty of this too. Post more, write more.

Also, this slightly reminds me of a particular song (partially because you used the word "crimson"):

The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change
The tournament`s begun.
The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing;
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue,
For the court of the crimson king.

The keeper of the city keys
Put shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim`s door
With insufficient schemes.
The black queen chants
the funeral march,
The cracked brass bells will ring;
To summon back the fire witch
To the court of the crimson king.

The gardener plants an evergreen
Whilst trampling on a flower.
I chase the wind of a prism ship
To taste the sweet and sour.
The pattern juggler lifts his hand;
The orchestra begin.
As slowly turns the grinding wheel
In the court of the crimson king.

On soft gray mornings widows cry
The wise men share a joke;
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gentle pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.

[Domie-chan]

never heard of the song, and that was just torn out of my deviant account lol

i hope to bring more soon, i am working on a piece atm and it should be up in the next few days ^^