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View Poll Results: Is cybersex cheating?
Yes. 68 72.34%
No. 26 27.66%
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:01 PM   #1
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Default Is cybersex cheating?

There is going to be a segment on a radio show Monday morning about whether cybersex is considered cheating. I want to get some opinions from fellow FFRers on what they think of cybersex and cheating. Maybe stir up a little debate.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:03 PM   #2
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Fuck yes it is
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:06 PM   #3
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Well yeah. You'd be mental to think it isn't.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Why is this even a thread?
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:12 PM   #5
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

madmatt thread
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:13 PM   #6
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

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Why is this even a thread?
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Get this out of CT.



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Old 03-17-2013, 11:26 PM   #7
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Some would say it isn't due to the lack of physical connection.
Ask your significant other if you're looking for a different answer.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:34 PM   #8
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

I would say it depends on your definition of cheating and your beliefs.

By definition, "cheating" means "to be sexually unfaithful" so the answer would technically be "yes" but again, it depends on your beliefs.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:53 PM   #9
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Yes. Emotional cheating can be just as bad as physical (as both are technically appeals to emotion in the end anyway).

I still stand by my heuristic of what defines cheating: If you wouldn't do it in front of your SO, it's probably cheating.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:55 PM   #10
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

This shouldn't even be a thread! It's a relationship with someone else and NOT with the person you are with. Simple as that.
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:00 AM   #11
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Reincarnate has spoken.

/thread

Nah but I could see where this is debatable, i agree with ILY in that some pairs of people don't think that it's a big deal. I would assume in a relationship without discussing that it is cheating, though
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:16 AM   #12
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

The main argument I can see for not bringing this up in the first place is the follow-up from your significant other of why you're asking that question, which could skew the response towards the "yes" end of the spectrum.

That being said, there's various degrees of it. Some do cam-to-cam, others trade text messages (sexting), and others even roleplay out their stuff. Sadly, this last category is what many people think of when the term "role playing" is mentioned. Clearly, the particulars vary, but the end result is the same--you're getting your jollies from interacting with someone over the internet.

As for my personal argument, I say it's not cheating for two reasons. One is the "I'm not touching her" argument brought up earlier, and the second basically compares it to visiting a pornographic webcam site. If watching porn isn't cheating, then why does watching that girl you've been chatting with for the last 6 months pop her top for your birthday count as a breach of trust? Is it because you've been cultivating a relationship over the internet with her instead of focusing solely on your SO?
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:51 AM   #13
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

I'm going to have to vote no. Just the act of typing sexual roleplay comments back and forth over the internet doesn't inherently involve emotional commitment. I don't feel like it really means much at all. So it isn't even emotional or physical and is barely a step up from masturbating.

It's up to each individual whether or not they think they are emotionally dividing love with someone you shouldn't be.
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:15 AM   #14
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

gonna have to say no -- while it's awkward and is more than likely a breaking point in relationships, there isn't much that is happening that's wrong. it's pretty much shooting the shit with your friends.

think about situations where you might talk bad about a girl or a guy amongst friends but there is little intended malice
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:43 AM   #15
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by infinity. View Post
gonna have to say no -- while it's awkward and is more than likely a breaking point in relationships, there isn't much that is happening that's wrong. it's pretty much shooting the shit with your friends.

think about situations where you might talk bad about a girl or a guy amongst friends but there is little intended malice
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:54 AM   #16
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

If the partner is fine with it then no. If not then yes, it's cheating.
If the partner don't know, better say it or stop it before drama happens.
If the partner don't care, run away really fast.

^ tl;dr

v long version

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Old 03-18-2013, 01:58 AM   #17
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

It's questions like these which emphasize the importance of communication in relationships. If you are in a relationship with someone, it is important to be in constant communication with each other and to come to agreements and compromises. With that being said, one should talk to their partner with what constitutes "cheating."

It may be awkward, but if you are in a serious relationship with someone, you would love them enough to muster up the courage to bring up the topic to maintain a healthy relationship.

Anyways, couples should talk to each other and make sure they are both in understanding of each other and so that both sides feel that it is fair. Having one person in the relationship being overly controlling and having their partner not even associate with particular genders would be an issue. On the flip side, having someone in the relationship being a pimp and not giving a **** would also pose an issue. So communication is essential to make sure neither of extremes occur.

With communication, both people in the relationship can discuss what IS and what IS not cheating. Not for other people, but for themselves. Is kissing someone on the cheek cheating? I don't know, discuss it with your partner. Is sexting with someone else cheating? I don't know discuss it with your partner. Is cam-to-cam cybersex cheating? Perhaps your partner would be able to compromise to allow it as long as it's a different person every time (to assure that you aren't really in another relationship.)

So what is cheating? Cheating is what you and your partner agreed to. What if you guys haven't had that discussion? Then cheating is what your partner thinks cheating is and you ain't gonna know what that is until you get yourself screwed.

If you have reasoning for why you want to continue doing certain things (like sexting) for example, then come up with a valid argument for your partner. We all understand that we have sexual "needs" to fulfill and some people fulfill them differently than others. The only this is an issue is because our society (and many others) puts an extremely strong link between sexual acts and loving relationships. But if both you and your partner discuss this topic with open minds and understanding, perhaps you can reach an agreement, a compromise, or perhaps your partner might have a suggestion that makes you both happy

I'm going say this one more time for emphasis: communication.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:01 AM   #18
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

Just for the people who said no, how many of you can say you're comfortable with your partner showing their stuff over a webcam to strangers?
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:12 AM   #19
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Default Re: Is cybersex cheating?

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Just for the people who said no, how many of you can say you're comfortable with your partner showing their stuff over a webcam to strangers?
I wouldn't be at all. But it's not cheating.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:18 AM   #20
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I wouldn't be at all. But it's not cheating.
Okay we'll say your girlfriend isn't public domain, and has been having explicit webcam sessions
with another guy (who she's acquired feelings for) over the net, on not just one occasion, but several.
She does it more frequently than she does you. Cheating yet?
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