Relationship Poll

[Snowcrafta]

Ps after reading this thread, I love how pretty much all the TGB/mature kids all said no, and all the kiddos said " oh yeah, I'll stick around through marriage"

Age yo. Works out well

[Zageron]

Nope. Those are called friends.

[choof]

if it was a romantic relationship, ye probably

[Snowcrafta]

Originally Posted by Zageron

Nope. Those are called friends.

Canadian

[Dynam0]

Originally Posted by Snowcrafta

Ps after reading this thread, I love how pretty much all the TGB/mature kids all said no, and all the kiddos said " oh yeah, I'll stick around through marriage"

Age yo. Works out well

Pretty much, it's hard to grasp intimacy when you're 14 I guess

[Poison-]

I wanted to say something along those lines but didn't want to sound like a dick. Thanks

[Snowcrafta]

Originally Posted by Poison-

I wanted to say something along those lines but didn't want to sound like a dick. Thanks

That's what I'm here for

[TheSaxRunner05]

My situation is that she used to do things because she felt like she had to. The more time went on, she gradually lost interest and no longer feels any need to be intimate. If I bring it up, she feels self-concious and clams up, and feels like a bad person for not wanting intimacy. I hardly even mention it anymore, because nothing comes of it.

[dAnceguy117]

Originally Posted by TheSaxRunner05

My situation is that she used to do things because she felt like she had to. The more time went on, she gradually lost interest and no longer feels any need to be intimate. If I bring it up, she feels self-concious and clams up, and feels like a bad person for not wanting intimacy. I hardly even mention it anymore, because nothing comes of it.

if it's causing you two any problems, seeing a counselor might be a huge help.

Originally Posted by Snowcrafta

Human desires vs religious desires? Not worth my time.

who said anything about religion?

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by Snowcrafta

Ps after reading this thread, I love how pretty much all the TGB/mature kids all said no, and all the kiddos said " oh yeah, I'll stick around through marriage"

Age yo. Works out well

I think you're the only person in this thread who added the marriage aspect to all of this.
The question is would you ever be in a relationship knowing you would never, ever be intimate.

Age might have something to do with it anyways for a select number of people who answered, because younger people generally aren't as attached to looking for lifelong partners and are more likely to not know what they want, are just thinking 'yeah, I'd date them' as in, 'yeah I'd try that out and I think it could work.' Unlike snowc though, I don't think this is being silly in the least.

And no.

[JurseyRider734]

absolutely not

[Poison-]

Has anyone that said yes been in an intimate relationship? Just curious.

[GuidoHunter]

Of course.

Granted, I wouldn't really have a choice otherwise, given the marriage...

Ninja'd: erm, yes.

--Guido

[Poison-]

Marriage aside, still a yes?

[One Winged Angel]

fuck no

[GuidoHunter]

I don't really know how to process "marriage aside" with stretchy in the picture, so if we're doing a thought experiment in which I haven't gotten married: no, probably not.

I'm trying to keep the scenario as simple as possible with that answer, but there are plenty of things that could complicate the matter, such as: is this stemming from an issue that could possibly be worked on or fixed, such as emotional issues, depression, or chemical imbalance of some sort?

--Guido

[Svaz]

That's really not enough information to assess. What are the reasons for no intimacy, are they incorporeal (in which case that would be too interesting not to pursue, assuming that our interactions had advanced to that decision point), or are we simply forever distant from each other (parallel universes or something, which could lead to their infidelity elsewhere), or do they not find me attractive (which would definitely feed into underlying insecurities)? I think I'd be alright as long as I could have some kind of physical contact, preferably something like snuggling/cuddling. I don't think my life would be too bad without multiplayer sex as long as I still had time to solo, perhaps not even that. I don't know.

[icontrolyourworld]

Originally Posted by Zageron

Nope. Those are called friends.

this

[Pseudo Enigma]

I kinda want to believe that if there was an open relationship where I'd love someone but they can't have sex, that I'd go to someone else for it...but really what's the point. Call me shallow, but what is love without intimacy?

[ohsosilly]

Well the Vancouver orgies would certainly be less fun without it, I meaaaaan

No, but seriously, when it comes to intimacy, everyone moves at different speeds, and sometimes it comes (for lack of a better word huehue) in waves. Totally agree with danceguy on the counselor thing if you don't want to tackle things on your own, but I think it might also help to try to talk to her about it in a way that gives her the power, or puts things in her terms. Not sure what you've already tried, but saying something like "hey listen, I'd really like to talk a little more about intimacy with you... sometime this week" (or in the next two weeks, or whatever timeline you feel like suggesting) lets her know that you'd really like to have this convo, but still gives her time to gather her thoughts and consider how she really feels, instead of having her feel like she's put on the spot. Decide on a time that you're going to talk about it, and stick to it. It's never fun to feel blindsided by those sorts of conversations, and while it could be a bit odd to have the thought of "okay, we're gonna talk about sex in 3 days..." lingering in your mind, it would seriously cut down on the clamming up and you'll both have a solid handle on what you want to say when the time comes.

Obviously it's something she's sensitive about, so another, slightly hokier idea would be to do something like make a pro-con list together - and make it fun. You could, I dunno, create sort of funny, (but still intimate) scenarios and talk about why they would or wouldn't work, or something like that. You're still addressing what you want to address, but you're doing it in a way that puts her at ease, and you're showing her that you're making the effort to understand her in a ~nice, playful way!ii !1_!~

But really, at the end of the day, I feel like a relationship's a two-way street, and she should be opening up to you about this stuff. Hopefully she'll come around and you guys can have an open and frank convo about it. It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but if it's something that's bothering you, I'd definitely address it sooner rather than later.