How I left my mother.

zhul4nder · 12-25-2007, 03:06 AM

Mother tree

My brothers are picking on me
They say I am brown, I'm ugly
But surely mother, my mother
Would she love me how I am supposed to be?

No, she abandons me.
I am brown, I am tainted
I am of no use to her...

Clipped from her limbs, clipped from humanity
I fall.

Into the depths below, gaping, writhing in filth.

Oh my Brethren above, green as can be
Absorbing sunlight, glinting, glistening
Away from the filth to which I landed,
Away from the place which they condemn to bandits.

I flutter slowly, effortlessly, allowing the magic of gravity to take me in his arms
soothing me painless passing
Oh how lovely, the weightlessness, I tremble at the sensation
It grips me firm and holds me, in motion.

And what? the bountiful breeze catches me too!
I spin and twirl into action
soaring higher, and higher, above my brothers
and mother.

An endless cycle throws me
higher, and higher
Into the sun that glistens on my brothers

I am brown, I am ugly?

I am, A legend-

- please note that I am not impling that I'm African American, nor am i implying that African Americans are ugly, or bad in any sense.
It adds only to the effect of my poem

In fact, I am asian and as white as an as asian could possibly get XD
flame on

**andy-o24** · 12-25-2007, 07:00 AM

I'll be completely honest, I sorta' liked it. It had a message that was deep and easily portrayed by your words. At the end I thought it was going to say I Am Legend.

-o24

who_cares973 · 12-25-2007, 10:09 PM

i liked it

reminds me of a story..

zhul4nder · 12-25-2007, 10:52 PM

please tell

chuckey · 01-2-2008, 03:46 PM

I really enjoyed that. Does the "brown" mean your bark if i was to imply that you were an actual tree. So then if i refer the "bark" as skin on a person then your poem implies to me that you are an outcast. (not you specifically). Or am i thinking to hard?

**ShastaTwist** · 01-2-2008, 03:52 PM

He's a brown, dead leaf. :l

chuckey · 01-2-2008, 11:51 PM

I guess I was thinking too hard. Well it was still a deep poem.

zhul4nder · 01-14-2008, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuckey

I guess I was thinking too hard. Well it was still a deep poem.

Well, poems are always up for interpretation. If you think the poem means I was the tree, then go for it XD

The reason why I stuck the brown and ugly part was for the protagonist within the poem (I sorta consider this as an epic poem) to "mock" those had betrayed him.

The latter half of the poem was to tell of the adventure of new experiences. Like 'magic' it was written. 'I fall' into the dark unknown. Logically, when a leaf falls from a tree, it doesn't just plop down. With gravity and the air medium, it wavers in almost a dance like motion, and preceding all of this, is the moment where I decided to "let go" of my mother tree, to let go of my past/comfort zone (or in his case get kicked out). As it lingers in the air for however long it does, it maybe picked up with the wind and soar, becoming successful in an open world of mystery.

Then again, you can always interpret it as there always being a dirty floor. A floor that everyone will eventually drown in.

**foilman8805** · 01-14-2008, 01:51 AM

Pleasing. ^_^

Arguably one of the better pieces I have read out of this forum.

The only thing that was kind of bothered me was the use of the word 'humanity'. We're talking about trees here...perhaps another word is in need?

**ShastaTwist** · 01-14-2008, 03:18 PM

Treeanity.

**foilman8805** · 01-14-2008, 04:21 PM

Yes. Just what I was looking for. -_-

zhul4nder · 01-15-2008, 01:27 AM

how about...community?

**foilman8805** · 01-15-2008, 01:34 AM

I was thinking maybe just delete 'clipped from humanity' and just have

Clipped from her limbs,
I fall.

12-25-2007, 03:06 AM	#1
zhul4nder FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 231	How I left my mother. Mother tree My brothers are picking on me They say I am brown, I'm ugly But surely mother, my mother Would she love me how I am supposed to be? No, she abandons me. I am brown, I am tainted I am of no use to her... Clipped from her limbs, clipped from humanity I fall. Into the depths below, gaping, writhing in filth. Oh my Brethren above, green as can be Absorbing sunlight, glinting, glistening Away from the filth to which I landed, Away from the place which they condemn to bandits. I flutter slowly, effortlessly, allowing the magic of gravity to take me in his arms soothing me painless passing Oh how lovely, the weightlessness, I tremble at the sensation It grips me firm and holds me, in motion. And what? the bountiful breeze catches me too! I spin and twirl into action soaring higher, and higher, above my brothers and mother. An endless cycle throws me higher, and higher Into the sun that glistens on my brothers I am brown, I am ugly? I am, A legend- - please note that I am not impling that I'm African American, nor am i implying that African Americans are ugly, or bad in any sense. It adds only to the effect of my poem In fact, I am asian and as white as an as asian could possibly get XD flame on __________________ [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019 I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you. Last edited by zhul4nder; 12-25-2007 at 03:09 AM..

12-25-2007, 10:09 PM	#3
who_cares973 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: :U Age: 35 Posts: 15,407	Re: How I left my mother. i liked it reminds me of a story.. __________________

12-25-2007, 10:52 PM	#4
zhul4nder FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 231	Re: How I left my mother. please tell __________________ [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019 I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you.

01-2-2008, 03:46 PM	#5
chuckey FFR Player Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Beyond time and space Age: 31 Posts: 137	Re: How I left my mother. I really enjoyed that. Does the "brown" mean your bark if i was to imply that you were an actual tree. So then if i refer the "bark" as skin on a person then your poem implies to me that you are an outcast. (not you specifically). Or am i thinking to hard? __________________ JESUS LOVES YA!!!!!!!!!!!!

01-2-2008, 03:52 PM	#6
ShastaTwist FFR Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Age: 33 Posts: 599	Re: How I left my mother. He's a brown, dead leaf. :l

01-2-2008, 11:51 PM	#7
chuckey FFR Player Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Beyond time and space Age: 31 Posts: 137	Re: How I left my mother. I guess I was thinking too hard. Well it was still a deep poem. __________________ JESUS LOVES YA!!!!!!!!!!!!

01-14-2008, 01:51 AM	#9
foilman8805 smoke wheat hail satin Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: LA baby Age: 35 Posts: 5,704	Re: How I left my mother. Pleasing. ^_^ Arguably one of the better pieces I have read out of this forum. The only thing that was kind of bothered me was the use of the word 'humanity'. We're talking about trees here...perhaps another word is in need?

01-14-2008, 03:18 PM	#10
ShastaTwist FFR Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Age: 33 Posts: 599	Re: How I left my mother. Treeanity.

01-14-2008, 04:21 PM	#11
foilman8805 smoke wheat hail satin Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: LA baby Age: 35 Posts: 5,704	Re: How I left my mother. Yes. Just what I was looking for. -_-

01-15-2008, 01:27 AM	#12
zhul4nder FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 231	Re: How I left my mother. how about...community? __________________ [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019 I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you.

01-15-2008, 01:34 AM	#13
foilman8805 smoke wheat hail satin Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: LA baby Age: 35 Posts: 5,704	Re: How I left my mother. I was thinking maybe just delete 'clipped from humanity' and just have Clipped from her limbs, I fall.

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