The Day I Saved FFR.

[Jtehanonymous]

I have to go tutor for an hour, but leave me some constructive comments on this short story I wrote. Thanks!

-Jtehanonymous


The Day I Saved FFR


I awoke to what seemed to be another typical day. The blistering 100 degree weather could be felt through the very walls of the place I called home. Something, however, did not feel as it should.

It was probably Jellygod hovering over me, watching me sleep.

We exchanged looks and then I sat up.

“Jellygod, what are you doing in my house?!” I yelled.

“I really don’t know,” he replied, eyeing me.

There was another long, awkward silence. I shifted uneasily and Jellygod coughed.

“GET OUT!” I screamed and Jellygod dashed out of my house. Just as he left, my mom came into my room.

“I’m sorry John, but that boy bribed me,” she said, then showed me twenty dollars.

“If someone offered you ten dollars, would you let them throw me off a building?” I asked, a little hurt.

“As long as it kept you off that damn computer game, Flashy flash or whatever, then yes, yes I would,” she retorted, then left my room.

“I wonder what adventure could possibly await me today on the magical world of FFR,” I thought, hopping out of bed and moving exactly 4 inches over to my computer.

I typed in “FlashFlashRevolution.com” and hit the enter key. Just as the page loaded my heart sank as the page brought up an error message.

At first, it appeared to be a regular “down-for-maintenance” note, but upon closer examination, it appeared something had gone terribly wrong. In the top right-hand corner of the page, a message read exactly this: “I stolez your FFRs, now your world belong to me – Love, Blazze and his 650 alts.”

I immediately began to panic.

“Oh no! I have to save FFR!” I cried, and quickly grabbed the proper attire for such a thrilling adventure. My FFR T-shirt lay crumpled across my chair, and a pair of shorts lay next to them. With an unprecedented pace, I booked it out of my room and headed for the front door. Just before reaching the outside, I was stopped by my dad’s voice.

“John!!” he yelled, “you need to go pick some weeds or something.”

“Dad, I don’t have time. I have to save FFR,” I replied, and inched closer for the door.

“FFR can wait; go pull the weeds,” he demanded, pointing his finger outside.

“NO U!” I screamed and then ran outside. I was certain he’d thank me when FFR was back online again.

I now entered the garage and swiftly made for my Car, Metapod. (I named my car Metapod, yeah.) I attempted to do this cool thing I had seen in movies where you slide across the hood of a car and then get into your side of the car.

The result of such a stunt was two colorful Flinestones band-aids placed precariously across my knee and an aspirin ingested before I finally opened my garage door and reversed my way outside onto the open road, checking for pedestrians first of course.

I was a daredevil, an adventurer, an explorer searching for Blazze. Nothing could halt me from foiling his evil plot against FFR. My speedometer read 26 MPH and it was clearly a 25 MPH zone. “I am one bad kid,” I thought.

After a few more minutes of reckless driving, I came across an odd boy of 15 years standing on the right side of the road. He appeared to be showing some leg to every car that passed him. Suddenly, I realized who it was.

“Lonew0lf!” I hollered, “Why are you whoring yourself?!”

“I lost all my credits to gambling,” he replied, then paused. He tried his luck showing me some leg.

“God damnit, get in,” I sighed, and he flung open the passenger door and hopped in next to me. “I have 1,100,200 credits in the glove box there. You can have 100,000 of them if you never whore yourself again.”

“Deal!” he yelled, and opened the glove box. Credits poured out.

“How is this even possible?” he asked me, curious about all the virtual money filling the volume of the car.

“Don’t ask, just keep the storyline moving,” I told him, and sped on, pushing 28 MPH.

As we cruised along, I filled Lonew0lf in of the current development. I informed him of Blazze’s nefarious scheme to rule the whole world through the complete H4x of FFR. I finally finished, telling him that the only logical thing to do would be to beat him at FFR.

“Why would we need to beat him at FFR?” he asked.

“Well, you have to beat the villain, and that’s the only idea I got,” I told him, swerving around oncoming potholes.

“Where do you think Blazze is?” asked Lonew0lf, peering over the immense pile of credits.

“The public library.” I stated, “It’s the only other place in Florida with a working computer.”


A short time went on until we pulled up to a red light, coming to a screeching halt. Pulling up noisily next to us was an ice cream truck, the driver revving his engine. It was Jugglinguy making his daily rounds of demolition. Judging from the usual bloodshed covering the hood of his truck today he must’ve hit 4 adults, 14 kids, and 3 babies while passing out “ice-cream”. I imagined the Mario Party voice of “NEW RECORD!” ringing through my ear. The scene was despicable and made my stomach lurch. I looked over at Lonew0lf and he let out a nervous sigh. Finally, Jugglinguy caught eye contact with me.

“Hey! Jtehanonymous!” he yelled, leaning over to his passenger window, “want to drag?”

“Ah, Jugglinguy, I see you’re doing very well,” I said coolly. “How many innocent lives did you wipe out today with your ruthless baiting device that is the “Pop-goes-the-weasel” song?

“21 people,” he replied in a smug tone.

It was just as I had predicted.

“I believe you still need to answer my question,” Juggling spoke up again, “that light will soon change color.”

I stared up at the red light, its glow illuminating weakly above.

“Let’s do this,” I said, and rolled up my window.

My fingers twitched in anxiety. I began to practice trilling my index and middle fingers on the steering wheel. A lone bead of sweet rolled down my forehead. All time appeared to be holding itself back on an invisible elastic band, waiting to be released at the very moment the race would begin.

The light turned green.

We both rocketed out of our starting positions, Jugglinguy taking a quick lead, but me closing in on him. We ignored the commotion of intersections, the cars honking noisily, and Blazze waving in a friendly manner to me on the side of the road as I passed. I was determined to win.

We were coming to a point where my lane would have to merge with Jugglinguy’s. Flooring the accelerator, I pushed the limit and broke 45 MPH. There was no way he could catch me.

Just as I passed him, his truck hit a landmine cleverly disguised as a landmine and his ice-cream truck blew up in a glorious explosion of fire and fail.

“What just happened?” Lonew0lf asked me, looking behind him.

“I really am not sure, but I think Jugglinguy is dead,” I replied.

“I also think you hit Unicycleboy1313,” Lonew0lf informed me.

“Honestly, who even knows who he is? I bet his parents don’t even know he exists,” I stated, and Lonew0lf nodded with me.



After a few more days of driving, Lonew0lf and I reached the public library. As we stepped out of the car we felt the Hurricane Hannah Montana against us. If you listened hard enough on this grey, dark day, you could vaguely make out her ferocity. Nobody’s perfect…I gotta work it… Hannah whistled, threatening to wipe Florida off the map. A bad omen indeed hovered ominously over our necks as Lonew0lf and I trekked up the library’s unwelcoming entrance.

As we approached the library entrance we found a kid of 18 years slouched on a bench holding a book upside down.

“Mr. Nothing!” Lonew0lf exclaimed. As we got even closer I realized that Lonew0lf was correct; Mr. Nothing sat focusing on a book. The book itself had a picture of a lone Pomeranian on the cover with the title, Your Pomeranian and you.

“What are you guys doing here?!” Mr. Nothing asked, blushing bright red. He tossed the book on Pomeranians into the nearby bushes and scratched his neck nervously.

“We’re on a quest for the holy grail!” Lonew0lf triumphantly rang. I gave him a sideways glance and he frowned.

“What he means,” I started, “Is that Blazze took over FFR and Lonew0lf and I are going into the library that Blazze is clearly using as a hideout, beating him at FFR, saving the world, then probably going to go play in a really big puddle which will give us pneumonia.”

“Can I help?” Mr. Nothing asked, standing up.

“Yeah….” I trailed, “Leave the FFR playing to me.”

“I’m just as good as you are at FFR! Better even!” Mr. Nothing shouted.

“Oh god, here we go,” Lonew0lf sighed, and sat on the bench.

“The only reason why you have more AAAs than me is because you’re a whore!” Mr. Nothing yelled.

“Oh yeah,” I yelled, “well the only reason you Full Combo’d Grand Gallop Chromatique is because you’re a boowhore!”


Out of nowhere, Laggy walked in between Mr. Nothing and me and gave us each a condescending look.

“Guys,” he said, “I’m better than both of you at FFR, and that is all that matters.” Laggy then walked off just as spontaneously as he had appeared.

“Now that that’s settled,” Lonew0lf started, “Let’s get in there and save FFR!”

“Hoorah!” I yelled.

“Wuh.” Mr. Nothing replied.


The evilness of Blazze’s lair seemed to suffocate us as we walked in the air-conditioned, public library. There were two dumpy old ladies conducting secret book exchanges with the public. Lined along two brightly painted walls on the far side of the library were many people, entranced by screens obviously made by Blazze in order to hypnotize their feeble minds. In a far corner there appeared to be a circle of children who were being trained in the destructive ways of FFR hacking. They were all gathered around an authoritative figure, a clear lackey of Blazze, whom was showing them colorful schematics which appeared to be in the shape of a talking dog. This operation looked complex, but we’d have to bring it down.

“Be careful guys,” I warned to the others.

“It’s just a public library.” Mr. Nothing answered.

“This is why you aren’t team leader.” Lonew0lf said to Mr. Nothing

“I thought I was team leader!” I whined.

One of the dumpy, old ladies from behind the counter held a boney finger up to her over-glossed lips and went, “Shhhhhhhhh,” giving me a disappointed look. It must’ve taken away at least 30 of my hit points. Luckily I had potions handy.

From the same counter, Crazypandemonium walked passed us until her eyes came across me rummaging in my backpack for a potion. She looked from me, to Lonew0lf, to Mr. Nothing, and then back to me.

“What are you guys doing?” she asked, watching Lonew0lf with extreme caution. She was staring at him breathing heavily.

“We have to find Blazze and save FFR, I answered, “Have you seen him anywhere?”

“Yeah, he’s over there using one of the computers.” Crazypandemonium responded. “Weirdos,” she muttered as she walked out the sliding glass door to her car.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Lonew0lf spoke up, and caught Mr. Nothing and my attention.

“And that is..?” Mr. Nothing said.

“Just follow my lead,” Lonew0lf smirked, and walked slowly towards Blazze. Mr. Nothing and I followed in suit.


After what was merely seconds we were all standing behind Blazze. He was doing some sort of thing where you hit arrows as they scroll up the screen. When they arrived within a receptor, he would hit the corresponding key and get a judgment on how perfectly the action was executed. From what I could observe, Blazze appeared to be very good at that game. Once the song finished he turned around.

“Can I help you guys?” he asked, giving us a confused look.

“One moment please,” I pardoned and dragged Mr. Nothing and Lonew0lf off to the side.

“You guys, that thing Blazze was doing, that whole FFR thing…that looks WAY too complicated,” I cried.

“I told you to just follow my lead, damnit!” Lonew0lf yelled. He suddenly pulled out two Uzis and lit up Blazze. Shrugging, Mr. Nothing and I pulled out an AK-47 and a rocket launcher respectively and fired at Blazze.

When we had ceased fire and the smoke had cleared, Blazze stood unscathed, grinning.

“Did you honestly think it would be that easy to defeat me?” he asked, and yanked the entire monitor he was using out of the tower.

“Well, yeah,” Lonew0lf answered and backed up a little.

Blazze took the monitor in a firm grasp and tossed it right for Mr. Nothing’s head. Mr. Nothing managed to dodge the screen, but the little 4-year-old child looking in the Dora the Explorer section of the library wasn’t so lucky. She exploded on impact.

“You monster!” yelled Mr. Nothing, gaping in horror at what was left of the little girl.

“I dunno,” I muttered, “I thought that was pretty cool.”

“Enough of this,” Blazze said, and grabbed another computer screen.

“Oh geez, now what?” Lonew0lf asked, looking around for something to defend himself with, still clutching an Uzi in each hand.

“Take this!!” I screamed, and threw my shoe at Blazze. It hit him square in the face.

“Nooooooooo!!!” he yelled, and ran out of the library sobbing.

“Yay! That went better than I had expected it to!” I cheered.

The task had been completed. I felt the heavy weight of such an arduous task lift from my shoulders. The world was saved, and people could FFR once more.

We left the demolished library in our wake, the sound of Hannah Montana singing softly to us, and the realization of having to pull weeds lurking with me.

Thus, FFR was saved.

[Redorigami]

Best thread of 2008.

[dood gone krazee]

Originally Posted by Redorigami

Best thread of 2008.

This.

[Sullyman2007]

ctrl f'd my name but im not in the story

I'll read it when I get home later.

[Coolboyrulez0]

Holy **** read all of that.
Amazing story! ( poor 4 year old ;_; )

[Crashfan3]

Unbelievable.
Hmm, now I have an idea for an FFR story...
*scrambles for OpenOffice*

[DarkManticoreX2]

Originally Posted by Jtehanonymous

“As long as it kept you off that damn computer game, Flashy flash or whatever, then yes, yes I would,” she retorted, then left my room.

THIS.

[Phynx]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Obliteration of the four year old was funny. I've gotta quote the landmine part though, totally sigging it.

[virus003]

ROFL NICE STORY!! but im not in it, dammit. :P

[Phynx]

Should'a mentioned something along the lines of hitting Phynx's cat during the drag D:

[phe0nixblade]

legendary get

[Phynx]

Originally Posted by phe0nixblade

legendary get

+1 support

[EAGAMES]

I'm not in it. >_>

That one minute spent on reading it was worth it.

[phe0nixblade]

part 2:
saving FFЯ

[Jtehanonymous]

Thanks guys, you really like it? XD

Teaching an 8th grader proportions isn't the most enjoyable thing, so it's good to come back to positive comments.

Keep them coming. =)

[Redorigami]

Here's a positive comment.
A sequel including me and EA in explicit situations would be pretty epic.
/positivity

[Coolboyrulez0]

Originally Posted by Redorigami

Here's a positive comment.
A sequel including me and EA in explicit situations would be pretty epic.
/positivity

And me. Definitely make a sequel or an extended version with more users in it (tass, shash, and so on)

[Phynx]

Originally Posted by Coolboyrulez0

And me. Definitely make a sequel or an extended version with more users in it (tass, shash, and so on)

Forgetting someone *cough cough*

[jugglinguy]

I offered you ginger icecream made out of fresh gingers, but NoOoOoOOoooooO... =P

[Coolboyrulez0]

Originally Posted by Phynx

Forgetting someone *cough cough*

Oh yeah... and Sprite-