04-28-2004, 02:38 AM | #1 |
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The Poetry Thread! (cause we need one =) )
i woke up
on a corner with my head down waiting for a girl.. a girl with no identity her face filled with passion and adventure suddenly comes up out of nowhere she picked me up picked me up away from the darkness i was sitting in then we ran holding each others arms till we came to a beautiful building in a city filled with adventuring we went inside the building went to the staircase unknowingly the staircases walls and stairs were made of glass we started walking up looking at the beautiful places we haven't been through the clear glass since the stairs were clear and the walls it was like we were floting in thin air then the more we walked up the more the day became night till it was a full night at the very top we opened the door felt as if the wind was comforting us with warm cool breezy air we sat we talked about randomness nobody was around to bother us it was like a mount everst in a different point of view then both slept till suddenly I woke up on the same corner with my head down i cried.... realizing it was nothing nothing but a dream...... i cry and cry till i'm asleep again _____________________________________________________________ Please tell me your thoughts about my poem =) |
04-28-2004, 04:34 AM | #3 |
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i alwasy thought it was the opposite
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04-28-2004, 05:09 AM | #4 |
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No, punctuation is important.
Not to insult you, but anyone can write "poetry" simply by stringing words together that sound emotional and symbolic. The mark of a true poet is the ability to use the language to evoke specific feelings and emotions in the reader through form, meter, careful choice of words, and diction. Even free verse or blank verse still has carefully veiled hidden meanings and enigmas for the reader to discover through clues left by the poet. What you've written is stream-of-consciousness, not poetry. That's not necessarily a bad thing, there's just something it is and something it isn't. |
04-28-2004, 05:31 AM | #5 |
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punctuation is soo soo soo soo soo improtant
use it, it can't hure 8) |
04-28-2004, 06:28 AM | #7 |
(For Great Justice!)
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I wrote this my senior year of high school, and before reading I want to have it known that the italicized text is denoting another speaker, which is important to understand the piece. If you want, I can try to find some other poems if I still have them.
As I look back on the things I have wrote, A teacher she commented, "You'll go far!" ... People have told me things I don't realize, Creations and fictions that I'll change peoples' lives. Ideas implanted in my mind, so to say, I affect others near me in a 'positive' way. I wish I knew what fabricates these myths, Visions fortold that I don't think exist, Qualities and attributes I find myself lacking, Fluffed up to be great when my posture is slacking. "You'll go far!" What's that mean? This sentence is written on things that I've seen... I got the lecture that some students get, Those misguided and not doing well yet, In the form of small sentences on papers I lined, Motivational offerings that played with my mind. My own analysis turned up none of their conclusions, I found only faults and mistakes, and not their delusions. A simple vocabulary, some intangible thoughts, Sentences would ramble--not finish--but rot! "You'll go far!" That is absurd. A definition of genius that's definitely blurred. Then I came upon something I wrote in ninth grade, And sat amazed at the thoughts I conveyed. This was me?! That cannot be! This was amazing! What was I thinking?! I can barely think like that today! ...I am still skeptical, Chance would allow this. Can't strike out all the time, Bound to get a hit-- You can't always miss... On to other papers I found things once hidden, A pile grew high of 'literature' I've written. I sat and I studied and I pondered these things, Engrossed in a thought only deep reflection can bring. A version of me I never imagined to be, Sharing my name, but who is this he? Appearing for moments on a white paper screen, Vanishing again like a phantom I dreamed. But it was real, the truth unsealed, The encryption of the red letters revealed. "You'll go far!" Yes I will! I've gone far and am going farther still! Forever like light from a radiant star! I will be with you always, wherever you are.
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04-28-2004, 08:47 AM | #9 |
auauauau
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*Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*
Now why did it take a forum noob to realize that we needed a poetry thread? GG aznsky. |
04-28-2004, 09:33 AM | #11 |
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Something I wrote about a year ago:
Cider Sparkling sweetness Explosive birth unleashed And I am Eternal effervescence Of the glimmering nectar The same today As tomorrow As yesterday Bubbling into luminance Bursting into shadow Again and again Unique beauties Draining away Leaving the world Scintillating shards Of what once was Pop! And I am not |
04-28-2004, 11:20 AM | #12 |
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Oh, I am SO gonna whore this thread when I get home. Just you wait...hehe..
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04-28-2004, 02:09 PM | #13 |
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poetry's for fags.
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04-28-2004, 09:49 PM | #14 | |
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Quote:
Where did you hear THAT from? |
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04-28-2004, 09:56 PM | #15 |
is against custom titles
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I'm really not a poetry fan, but some of the stuff here's pretty good. Perhaps this should be stickied?
--Guido http://andy.mikee385.com/ |
04-28-2004, 09:58 PM | #16 | ||
auauauau
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Quote:
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04-28-2004, 10:31 PM | #17 |
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Another one I wrote a while ago:
Pieces I see my reflection Upon a bright mirror The utter perfection Seems to me quite queer A crack is soon found An inauspicious flaw Branching without bound Into a vicious claw It rips, it shreds The image soon shatters Unrav’ling threads Of thickly-veiled matters Summoned forth, yet unbidden I cannot flee As my shards once hidden Stare back at me |
04-29-2004, 12:08 AM | #18 | |
The spice must flow.
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Quote:
Edit: I might as well just post this now..here's my poem I wrote last year for some poetry project: Idealism I can see the sun setting. It stretches over the Cascades and shines like the sky is on fire I wonder if you see the same light... If you can see the rays reaching over the horizon to places where everyone is nameless, and there's no home waiting for you except the one you've claimed inside my arms... As it's brilliance starts to fade among the mountaintops and treelines I can't help but let my mind wander to those places I'm unable to invent for myself, Places where we don't have a past, and the future isn't anything but a consequence of our actions. My actions are laced in love, driven by perpetual motion. The night extinguishes the sky, leaving scars behind my eyelids where I've been burnt by my dreams But it can't erase the spark that's dancing in my eyes. I wonder if you know the same spark... Tomorrow I'll be in the same place, Reaching towards on unforgiving distance and clutching onto everything we've created to believe in. And everyday I start to believe a little more. Everyday, the far away people begin to assemble names, and their faces blur together to form the outline of your eyes. Standing in front of the sun, it slowly starts to swallow the entire landscape, the way you would imagine forever as being overwhelming. And I smile knowing that we're under the same burning sky. I smile knowing that everyday I'm getting a little bit closer towards those far away places, and I'm getting a little bit closer to losing myself among their indifferent streets. ...Along with inside your eyes.
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04-29-2004, 11:46 AM | #19 | |
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Quote:
EDIT: My ethernet connection at home died yesterday, so I'll post my poems and whatnot here tomorrow.
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04-29-2004, 12:32 PM | #20 | ||
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