04-8-2007, 05:02 PM | #1 |
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I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
You know that there are many types of people, by the way they think, in the world. Usually, most people narrow down human beings to two categories, people who do this/people who are this and people who don't do this/people who aren't this, such and such. I really can't say what I want to know. However-----
I guess you can say, what I wanted to know.... If life is going to be that hard when you grow older? (I'm 14) Or should I be categorizing myself? It seems that everyone I see, they have this name above them, which categorizes them. (Examples: celebrities, designers, authors, the smart one, the funny one...etc.etc.) There's this doubt I have in myself: that I wouldn't last in the 'real' world. Heh, I guess I'm frustrated that I can't understand anything at this age, most kids would. I know the difference between right and wrong, but I have a low-self-esteem. And, I keep thinking in my head that we categorized, maybe I should use:impress, people on how they act, talk, and think. Most opinions that others have placed on me have all concluded the same fact: I am an observant person on how people act, talk, and think. Though I don't like it, I make quick conclusions about people. The saying, 'the first impression is the impression that gonna make it last.' You know, something like that. But you see, I've made the conclusion about myself that I'm a person that I do not want to be. These are 10 ways I describe myself. 1. I distant myself from groups who look down on me, conclusions from my quick thoughts. 2. I'm a social butterfly, I can befriend anyone who is willing to be a friend. 3. I'm a bookworm, I recently started to dislike exercising. 4. I yearn for the outside world, to breath in fresh air, to walk on nature, to see the beauty of the world. 5. I've become a person who gives out good advice and don't listen to my own advice. 6. I dress in dark colors and often wear the same type of outfits every time I go out. 7. I crave attention. 8. I am unique. 9. My emotions are going through a confused state. I try to understand things, but I know that I can't. 10. I'm a sad, lonely, kid who loves to draw, write, dream out his fantasies. I want to be someone different from how I am now, but there's something that's stopping me to do so. I don't know what is stopping me, but I really want to know. It's like I want to change both the 'outside me' and the 'inside me' without getting much attention. I'm trying so hard to figure out what's wrong with me, if there's anything wrong with me, and it's hard to understand myself. It seems that my mind is saying, if I can't understand myself, how can I understand anything? |
04-8-2007, 05:25 PM | #2 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Life is hard if you think it is. Life is easy if you think it is. Perspective is everything. The 'real' world is truly what you make of it.
People will always categorize everything, including people. you shouldn't let it bother you. I think you would love this book: The Seven habits of Highly Effective Teens. If you take it seriously, you'll notice it works. It also lets you see people differently. http://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-.../dp/0684856093 |
04-8-2007, 05:37 PM | #3 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Thanks. I'll try and look for it, I'm not allowed to buys things over the Net.
I think it's sad of how I'm letting this minute thing get to my head. It's also sad that I know how I think and thinking is what it makes the difference. But I still need to learn perspective. It is one of my weakest points. So thank you very much. P.S: who is the book by? Last edited by jetsakaitenki; 04-8-2007 at 05:38 PM.. Reason: additional thoughts |
04-8-2007, 05:49 PM | #4 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. I liked it.
You will have to realize people are just people.They do as they do, sometimes without motive or thought of how it will affect others. |
04-8-2007, 08:35 PM | #5 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
First off, I respect you off the bat for actually thinking about these things and internalizing. It might seem like you're over-analyzing or making a mountain out of a molehill, but truth is, it's a normal thing for teens to have trouble with these kinds of issues growing up, and too many people take it out in other ways without stopping to actually think. So you're already going a step in the right direction, and learning about yourself and others is putting you ahead of the people who aren't.
Don't worry. ^^ You might feel lost for a while, but as long as you keep at it, you'll figure things out eventually. No one ever figures everything out to perfection as it might seem, but I have no doubts that you'll reach a comfortable level in time.
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04-8-2007, 08:39 PM | #6 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
wow...you sound like me 0_o
the most important thing is to just concentrate on yourself...no matter if another person says you're selfish, cuz you really do have to work on yourself before you go on about other ppl, tho sometimes it's easier to help others and not yourself and secondly...there's nothing wrong with you...at all
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04-9-2007, 12:05 AM | #7 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
I have a couple things to say on this subject matter,
You are not the only one who go through these feelings, in fact, everybody go through these thoughts/feelings at some level throughout their ENTIRE life. If you want to categorize yourself, categorize yourself as being a human being to be able to think of such things. Here's a tip for the categorizing, do what you yourself like. Everybody learns at a different pace, just be patient. ...oh, and stay off of drugs and keep at school
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04-9-2007, 10:06 PM | #8 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
thanks, I'm appreciate this
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04-9-2007, 10:26 PM | #9 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Interestingly enough, MANY people who are much older than you struggle with the same sort of thing. Its a problem everyone has to work out eventually in their life, just dont let the little things get to you and you will do fine. "Live life to the fullest!" Just remember that worrying about what others think doesnt help anything.
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04-10-2007, 12:24 AM | #10 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
your my other.
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04-10-2007, 01:05 AM | #11 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Didn't read all of the replies, but here's my 2 cents:
Don't worry about people who look down on you.. **** them. Don't worry about anything except school and those who are close to you right now. Excel in school and get into a good college, then you can laugh at those who looked down on you through all of high school. Being a junior electrical engineering major at the University of Maryland, and the vice president of my fraternity, I speak from experience. I regret trying to fit in with everyone else in high school. That doesn't mean try so hard you have to dress in all black. Bag all that black clothing, you're not impressing anyone. But don't do something because everyone else is.
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04-10-2007, 01:28 AM | #12 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Growing up in your teen years is all about finding who you are and who you want to be in the world. Just be yourself and stay strong, as you grow older you'll find the answers your looking for.
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04-10-2007, 11:17 PM | #13 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
heh, slipstrike, that was one of the many great advice I gave out, and yet, I didn't listen it to myself. I'm a goofball :P
Lamoc, am I really your other self? oh, I like your avatar. It blinks. heh =P So, asking these types of questions, are questions that everyone asks and it's normal to ask. well I guess there only one solution. I'll continue on this path I am right now and live life to the fullest. By the way, does anyone know where I can find free music sheets for the flute, songs from animes, or any other famous songs? Though that's not a question of critical thinking, I was just wondering. I want to learn more about instruments, music, art, and everything. I feel better already. ^_^ Last edited by jetsakaitenki; 04-10-2007 at 11:22 PM.. Reason: happy appreciation |
04-11-2007, 01:34 AM | #14 | |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
Quote:
But yet I ramble once again. Lyrics be here, if you're so inclined. Have a ball, friend.
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07-8-2007, 04:06 PM | #15 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
heh wow. those ten things you said about yourself, im a lot like you.
though it sucks, i try to take life day by day, minute by minute, understanding what i can and trying to figure out what i cant. but dont overthink things. if you cant understand something, thats the worst thing you could do. depends on the subject really, but aay. acourse the real world is gonna suck. everything is hard, but like some of the others have said, its what you make it out to be. you have to try your best at everything, be who you are, trust in what you can, and live like youre alive! [... ..dont know what all of that said at all XD] |
07-8-2007, 05:33 PM | #16 | |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
to be honest. . .life can get very tough, though don't get me wrong. . .there's plenty of good times to be had growing up. . .something tells me you'll have plenty of great times head of you.
i think it's wonderfull your thinking deep at your age, self exploring, and attempting to gain understanding (something i think you'll be searching for your entire life). i don't have answers for you, i wish i did. . .but i'm still looking for these answers myself. i can say with confidence that in time as you grow older (i'm only 24) life starts to click, things start to come together, and you start to actualy find that your not quite as messed up as you always thought you were. . .that hell, there's even things you like about yourself. i had a hell of a time growing up (was put into a mental health lock down facility at the age of 12, and was there for 2 1/2 years, it was a 24/hr lock down place, and by the time i got out and went to high school. . .i had no idea how to talk to people my age. i quickly thought that there was something wrong with me, and i hated myself. . .i didn't hate anyone else, i just hated myself. i knew i could be happy, but i was being held back and i had no idea what was holding me back, or how to release. i dropped out of school, moved to a city (i'm from a tiny town in wyoming) got into drugs. . .only to find even more dispair, and self hatred. life was horrible for me. this being said, i think i've matured quite a bit (after a couple years of good counsling heh) and life is starting to settle. i wouldn't take any part of my life back, it's all made me stronger, and i think the best kind of learning is the learning that can only come through experiences.) life does become better, people do learn to trust themselves, to forgive themselves (though maybe not completely) and to at least half-way accept themselves. it just takes time. i really do have a feeling that you'll turn out very well in life. i know it's hard to trust what people say. . .they can tell you, but untill you've gone through it yourself it's dam difficult to understand, or to accept. i'm sorry for the lengthy reply. . .but i have all the respect in the world for you seeking advice, and discussion about your deep, and insightfull thoughts. take care. thnx. ----edit---- Quote:
i do think this is good advice. . .though through experience i can say it's not that simple. i was on the a honor roll for about 6 months early in high school, though oddly enough being "intelligent" was not accepted by most of the other kids at my school (where's the sense in that?). i quickly dropped to d's and a few f's (i never did my homework in math, though just before dropping out i took the finals for math, and aced it. . .i can still remember to this day how angry my teacher was about it heh). i think looking back my problem was my perception of reality. reality was what was directly in front of me, what i saw, what i heard, and what i felt (both physically and emotionaly). reality is a hard thing to break, and my reality was that i was a "loser" and everyone hated me. . .that i was worthless, and no one could ever understand me. i kept being told not to care what others thought of me. . .what they said to me, or how they treated me. i wasn't able to understand them at the time, i didn't believe it was even possible at the time. not sure where i'm trying to go with this. . .it's great advice, i just wish there was a simple (or reliable) way to follow it. it's odd how much i follow it now though. i'm still very different from most people my age (sometimes i act closer to the age of 11 or 12. . .alot of the times i act much older then i am. . .hehe but i don't feel my age very often) i guess as i went through different periods in my life, and as i grew up a bit. . .i somewhere decided that like you say. ..it truely doesn't matter what others think or say about me. it's all about confidence, something i think all teenagers struggle with. . .i've grown much more confident with myself since high school (though i believe i can never have enough confidence in myself, as long as it doesn't become arogance).
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07-10-2007, 03:11 AM | #17 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
I think as long as you know when to stop looking, you should be fine.
I'm not saying that you should ever stop trying to understand more about the world around you, but sometimes you can end up discovering things you aren't quite ready to handle. (Like I did.) I'm only 17, and I already have studied The Bible, Koran, and Torah. (In english of course.) I've learned some very interesting things about the 3 main religions of the world that at the time I first -studied- them, confused the living crap out of me, and indirectly influenced some rather stupid choices. (I'm now dangerously close to dropping out of school and getting booted out of my house because of these choices.) But basically, I'm trying to say... Learn everything you can, but be careful about absorbing information you aren't ready to process. ~Cow~ |
07-10-2007, 08:54 AM | #18 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
If you don't try and fit in with people to some degree, you'll be shunned. If you stop and think too much of why you do things instead of doing them, you'll be out on the streets. If you step out too far from what everyone else's generic reality is, you'll probably end up killing yourself. Either that, or you'll be stuck living with other people constantly looking after you. I don't think anyone wants that.
No one understand's themselves fully, the difference is that some people brood on that they don't, and others only occasionally think about it. You talk about how you want to be a different person, yet you've only given very vague descriptions about who that other person is. Maybe you just haven't explained it, but maybe you don't really know how you want to be. You can tell yourself you don't care what others think, but that's clearly NOT going to work if you feel like you can befriend everyone. No one ever specifies that with the classic "It doesn't matter what other people think of you" comment, it doesn't include your friends and loved ones. As soon as you stop caring what your loved ones think of you, you'll be in a very, very lonely place. If you care enough about just about everyone to become their friends, then of course you're going to care what they think about you. Instead of not caring about what others think about you, you're going to have to learn to trust people a little more, in that you're going to have to have enough faith that just because you're not ideal, they can still be friends with you, and they can still like you. If someone ends up not liking you for what you say or do, even if it's someone you care about, then that's not your problem. Sure, you can control to a large extent what people think about you, but you're basically attempting the impossible if you try that with everyone. Some people just aren't going to give you the time of day, and others are going to stab you in the back, and you're going to have to adopt a way of negatively looking at them for not accepting you as you are, or else you'll drive yourself nuts. Of course, there's a balance to it, but it doesn't seem to me like you're near the other side of the spectrum. Also, FULL SENTENCES PEOPLE! Where's the grammar police when you need them? Last edited by Cavernio; 07-10-2007 at 08:57 AM.. |
07-10-2007, 04:32 PM | #19 |
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
no offense but you sound like an emo... anyway thats how i feel sometime... that the world(and then some) dont understand me... sometimes i feel like an alien..
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07-10-2007, 05:52 PM | #20 | ||||
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Re: I just need help understanding myself, my reality.
It may be late, but here's my share of advice.
Quote:
Quote:
Low self-esteem is bad, but it's certainly normal for teenagers. If you don't understand some of the deeper things, that's okay. It takes time to find out what your identity is. Just start with what and who you love, and it can take off from there. Remember that at this point, you don't need to know what you're going to be when you grow up. People get halfway through college and don't know, and it's okay. Quote:
High school will make you change. That's a fact. Whether it's a little or a lot, you will be a different person after. Just keep in mind to be what you want. If you don't agree with it, you won't be happy with it. It's too easy to forget that and go with whatever everyone else likes without taking into thought your own ideas and such. But I don't think you'll have a problem with that. Again, do the balance thing. You don't want to be shunned by everyone, after all. Form some strong relationships with good friends. Quote:
The Fountainhead is also an amazing work. I need to read that again. I hope my advice helps out and I'm not just blabbing useless stuff. And if all else fails, talk to your parents *GASP*. They've gone through this already. |
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