Thinking about suicide

[Winrar]

Cmon Zenith, it's never the option. There are people here that you can talk to, no use in harming yourself permanently if there's a solution to not dealing with your family. Find ways to spend less time there or start working and maybe find a roommate. I'm on league and skype pretty often if you wanna talk.

ps. sorry for feeding as ezreal i dunno how to adc <3

[_Zenith_]

Thanks Andy

If anyone did want to talk about it, I have several essays upon essays one could read for a week before they got to the end of what is going on, mentally and physically, about my life and what is endured during segments of time.

[Callipygian]

I'm gonna chime in with some fellow old farts here who have gone through extended and recurring periods of depression and have given some sound advice already: seek help, avoid rash actions, recognize patterns in your behavior and responses to stimuli and use that knowledge to your advantage.

I don't know you and the specific circumstances you have to deal with, but I do know depression and I also know all too well how useless any advice you get from others may sound at times you feel really bad. I take it that you're an intelligent guy who, at a rational level, knows and understands all the common reasons people (professionals and friends alike) may give for continuing to live and all the remedies that are suggested and make sense (study your own behavior and adjust, find hobbies and activities that structure your life and give you satisfaction etc.).

I have heard every possible piece of good advice and every snippet of life-affirming philosophy that could possibly motivate me to carry on and I know how utterly empty all these words can sound in your times of need. You wrote that many of your friends will listen for a bit to what you have to say when you're depressed, but quickly give up on you. My experience is that many of those who care about you simply do not know what it's like to be depressed and have limited understanding for it, especially if the ' objective circumstances' do not 'justify' depression. Finding some people who do understand you better and know what you're going through can be of huge help, so it's a good thing you reached out. Take it from me, though, that you do not want to estrange people who care about you but do not have the kind of understanding to immediately effectively help you. Cherish those that care for you.

As a 30-year old guy who has struggled with depression from my early teen years and has had medication and/or therapy since I was 16, I can tell you that it is possible to live with depression. It will, at least from my own experience, never become easy, and there will be bad moments or periods even if you take the right steps, but, as Cavernio rightly pointed out, one can learn to accept this as part of life and make the best of it. You wrote that sometimes you just want to sleep and forget about your worries for a while. I take a mixed approach there: I allow myself to simply sleep away a weekend or an evening when things are really bad, but I force myself to be active on some of those moments as well. If you take the escape route too often, it may seriously affect your self-image and pride and sleeping may not always clear your head. What works best for me is to have some, preferably structured and social, activities, and some reserved personal hobby time, but also to accept that sometimes the best thing is just to close my eyes and get the worst demons off my mind.

Man, I wish I could give you more succinct and easy advice, but I can't. If you need a listening ear, please feel free to PM me.