Issues at home.

[PriestREA]

In light of seeing everyone else post threads like this and receiving sound advice, I've jumped on the bandwagon and decided to give everyone yet another earful.

I'm on a tight leash when it comes to doing things with friends and or going out (at any hour really), I understand that my parents mean well and since I'm only 17, trying to keep me safe from the outside world. Yet, I feel they're a bit overprotective (they have to know where I am every minute of every day and to the point where they will show up at said place and look for me).

Now under no circumstances do I find lying to my parents desirable; let's face it, it just brings more problems into an already fragile family dynamic, but I've made some decisions that aren't necessarily bad, but I could only imagine what my parents would say if I had told them.

1. My parents are extremely religious. They are orthodox Sunni Muslim and they try to make every lecture relate to religion. Until just months ago I was okay with religion to an extent, but really reading up on journals and critically thinking for a while made me think otherwise. I really believe there isn't a deity out there that drives you to do things, but rather just yourself. Basically I don't know what to say to my parents at all. I don't want to lie and be dishonest about pretending to be Muslim, but at the same time I want to inform them that I don't want to live a lifestyle as per the Qur'an's requirements.

2. As a Muslim, it is essential that you stray away from any relationships prior to marriage (basically any close interaction with a man or woman). It's just a bother because every time I go to hang out with my girlfriend I have to make up some bull**** story about my whereabouts. It doesn't sit easy with me after all, and then I get overwhelmed with guilt. At the same time, I don't want to jeopardize my relationship because it really is getting somewhere, and very quickly at that. Her parents are very accepting of me and we get along extremely well, but I feel a bit of a failure because I can't bring her over. My parents would legitimately freak out and kick her out of the house.

3. One of the biggest expectations of my parents is the drive and strive for success in education. I was a straight A student for quite sometime, getting 100's and 95's in all my classes, until I found out that I really had no end in mind for where I wanted to take my education. I figured maybe, just maybe I'd pursue law or an MBA, but then realized even then, education was just not as appealing as it used to be. I really love music, and I really think I'm great at it. I figured although education is tantamount to success, it is just not appealing. It's not the work involved in university that's turning me away, it's just the thought of doing something I don't necessarily like when there's another much more interesting avenue to explore. I've reached the point where my marks are now in the low 60's and low 70's (at best), procrastination has taken over and losing the desire to learn.

4. My parents are strict when prohibiting the consumption of alcohol and or the usage of any drug. My biggest irritation when having these talks with my parents is the fact that my father does in fact, smoke tobacco. But apparently "tobacco is acceptable in the Qur'an", whereas other drugs remain sinful. I do smoke marijuana from time to time, as a social expression at parties, and sometimes I'll have a few (or a lot) of drinks at a party. I have no idea why my parents are so against consumption of these items, especially marijuana. Yes, I do know it's illegal, but that's my risk to take. Even then, it's scientifically proven to be less damaging than tobacco or alcohol.


On the note of kicking someone out of the house (see point 2), my parents would not only do that upon learning any of this information stated, but likely disown me (they really don't like any of this at all). I have no job, I've been looking for one so I can save money to start renting out an apartment. My worry is that my parents said that when I find an apartment and move out, all support is cut off and we won't help you out.

I just don't know where to turn to try and iron things out with my parents.

I really hope this isn't too vague for anyone, because it really is limited information.