Old 07-13-2020, 02:22 PM   #1
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Default Hey can I please be banned??

Long story short, there is a user that I can't resist sending private messages to and have this insane delusion that they'd invite me to be their friend again after I basically hurt there feelings I'm assuming pretty bad.

I have no self control and need to be banned so I cannot bother this user anymore on this account and hopefully this account will serve as a reminder when and were punishment is due.

This is kinda my last step before I honestly throw my laptop in a dumpster... so I'm hoping this works
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Old 07-13-2020, 02:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

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Originally Posted by V-Ormix View Post
Long story short, there is a user that I can't resist sending private messages to and have this insane delusion that they'd invite me to be their friend again after I basically hurt there feelings I'm assuming pretty bad.

I have no self control and need to be banned so I cannot bother this user anymore on this account and hopefully this account will serve as a reminder when and were punishment is due.

This is kinda my last step before I honestly throw my laptop in a dumpster... so I'm hoping this works
From experience I can say that even if you get banned there is still the possibility that you'll make a new account and attempt to contact said person. I'm unaware of your relationship with this person so I could be entirely wrong and you'd have no problem.

The solution I've gone with that has worked for me well is not accessing the sites/platforms that you can contact them on. Use a content blocker and make all the sites impossible to access even if you tried. Delete applications if you can. Try to distract yourself from messaging this person as much as possible. I hope this helps as I cannot ban you myself.

Good luck!
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:19 PM   #3
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

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From experience I can say that even if you get banned there is still the possibility that you'll make a new account and attempt to contact said person. I'm unaware of your relationship with this person so I could be entirely wrong and you'd have no problem.
yep

dunno what's going on with you ormix but you don't gotta leave the site for it
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There comes a point where we have to ask our selves, "do we really want to deal with that, desperate as we are?"

I think we can all agree on the answer, yeah?
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:26 PM   #4
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

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yep

dunno what's going on with you ormix but you don't gotta leave the site for it
I'm just being over dramatic tbh, the banning of this account as I say is more a symbolic thing to remind me. I'm well aware I can make another account ect.

it's so stupid that I can't think of anything better to do with my focus or creative capacity than to feel bad about not being this one persons friend... mind you, out of a world of 7 billion people x_x

edit: but really though, thank you guys, for helping me vent and giving me you're support with suggestions - I pm'd this person im talking about just before this thread a rather shitty message which will undoubtedly dig me into a deeper hole for painting them out as a bad guy who tried to help me all along. My messages have no bearings or consistency they are just plain begging this poor person and I really really need to stop...

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Old 07-13-2020, 03:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

unrequited love or emotional connection is a bitch man. if someone doesn't want to be in your life though then they don't deserve you. it's hard to think that way if you're putting them on a pedestal, but that doesn't make what I'm saying less true

if you want to leave for yourself then so be it, but don't leave for another person. you belong here too. i don't wanna see you sacrifice your place in a community you share history with over heartbreak. your heart will heal. might take some time but it will
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is funny eaman?
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GET DUNKED FUNNY
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Heh never underestimate the power of free time
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our mutual desire to be funny bois and gurls.

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There comes a point where we have to ask our selves, "do we really want to deal with that, desperate as we are?"

I think we can all agree on the answer, yeah?
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:45 PM   #6
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unrequited love or emotional connection is a bitch man. if someone doesn't want to be in your life though then they don't deserve you. it's hard to think that way if you're putting them on a pedestal, but that doesn't make what I'm saying less true

if you want to leave for yourself then so be it, but don't leave for another person. you belong here too. i don't wanna see you sacrifice your place in a community you share history with over heartbreak. your heart will heal. might take some time but it will
that'd be the ideal way to do it and in that process prove to that person I've changed but you see - just right there - I typed it out, I only do things to get their attention.. I have no "me" factor while ironically this whole thing is selfish to want them as bad as I do just to even... say hi to me? I mean I feel like its pretty bad when they won't even do that anymore lmao I really thought they appreciated me more than that but again, I'm ranting and it'd all be put into context if every one else was in their shoes -

what I did was wrong and I cant just admit it and move on - its become a wayy bigger problem than it needs to be.

Last edited by V-Ormix; 07-13-2020 at 03:46 PM..
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Old 07-13-2020, 02:51 PM   #7
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

thanks for the advice! I wish I wasn't so self destructive when it came to feeling the way I do right now, but I felt much worse a month ago - I feel like being banned has to seal the deal like, I don't deserve to use this site if I'm going to ruin the experience for another user.
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:03 PM   #8
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

You're better than this dude! Take some time away from this platform and any others to give your mind some time to re-balance itself. There will come a day when the pain of these memories will be at first bearable and then distant to the point where you can reflect on them constructively for yourself, and maybe even further on you can use those reflections to help others who are in the same predicament!

This thread is evidence that you know what is going on is toxic and your heart is in the right place though. Good on you.

Last edited by Dynam0; 07-13-2020 at 03:05 PM..
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:10 PM   #9
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You're better than this dude! Take some time away from this platform and any others to give your mind some time to re-balance itself. There will come a day when the pain of these memories will be at first bearable and then distant to the point where you can reflect on them constructively for yourself, and maybe even further on you can use those reflections to help others who are in the same predicament!

This thread is evidence that you know what is going on is toxic and your heart is in the right place though. Good on you.
I really couldnt be more confused with myself, I made such great progress and its like I'm reliving the same episodes all over again... I hate being in this body that does these blatantly obvious toxic things - come tomorrow I'll prob feel as though nothing happened and then see this thread I made lmao

I just keep trying not to let go of some thing psychologically that's already been lost now for a while but I fall down that emotional ocd hole so easily :v

Edit: I just don't wanna be wrong for trying to keep a dead friendship alive when I'm just making thing's worse x_x it's like a nasty feedback loop between the mind and my emotions...

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Old 07-13-2020, 03:56 PM   #10
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

yeah i guess context really is key here. i've experienced the feelings you're talking about though, which is why i believe you'll get through this

i hope you heal man and i still wanna see you around

edit: ahh not to say i know what you're going through because i really don't. first of all who even is this person lol. i guess it's more accurate to say your situation reminds me of things i've been through?
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is funny eaman?
Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
Quote:
Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
GET DUNKED FUNNY
(eaman is her name irl, friend)


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Originally Posted by ShadoWolfe View Post
Heh never underestimate the power of free time
boredom
wanting to get to know you all
true love
a sense of community
blackmail
weekend warriors
my desire to know everyone's dirty lil secrets


our mutual desire to be funny bois and gurls.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XelNya View Post
There comes a point where we have to ask our selves, "do we really want to deal with that, desperate as we are?"

I think we can all agree on the answer, yeah?

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Old 07-13-2020, 03:58 PM   #11
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

V-Ormix I went through the same thing recently and it sucks a lot.

I don't plan on leaving the sites permanently but I will not use them so long as I think of this person.

It does get better with time.

Having someone to talk to like a family member can really help.

I feel your pain and I'll help in whatever way I can

Last edited by sploder12; 07-13-2020 at 03:59 PM.. Reason: forgot the "in" in the last sentence :P
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Old 07-13-2020, 04:08 PM   #12
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again, you guys are really awesome, I just cannot put into words how or why I've obsessed over this person so much - like literally its never happened to me before with any other person...

But yeah anytime I just focus on me and what I'm doing from a genuine place of curiosity all the sudden I feel fine and meaningful :S

Just don't worry about me too much guys I really think you're great for lending you're hand but I gotta some how let this all fizzle out its just getting limited in the number of options I can imagine I have.

I'll admit I'm rough in this moodswingy/bipolar state but I'm not trashy enough to disclose exactly who I'm talking about or get into personal details - that's just uncalled for drama. I just bring the outline of my situation to this thread.
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Old 07-13-2020, 04:23 PM   #13
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I think you'd benefit from some time away from the Internet in general. A lot of times we can develop a dangerous emotional reliance on and get obsessed with some particular digital information stream (Twitter, Youtube) or even online friends. Banning yourself on FFR isn't going to fix that for you.

I think in the short-term you can get certain user privileges locked (e.g. PMs) which protects this other person from you. I'm not an admin but this is my suggestion on their behalf: remove his PM privileges with this other person, or otherwise just entirely.

In the longer term, idk what your real life is like but finding a tangible, physical hobby or friend group can work wonders for your mind. There were times in my life where I had an unhealthy addiction to an MMORPG, and each time I would just... find something else to latch on to in real life, such that the MMORPG became less like an emotional "need" and more like a "hobby", which is how it should be. After a few months (even as long as a full year) I would return to the MMO and would engage with it in a healthy manner. If I got too attached later, rinse and repeat.

Human life requires balance. Take a few weeks away from the depths of the internet to clear your mind and soul, then come back to FFR only when FFR feels completely OPTIONAL to you. If you get banned or delete your account you will regret it later.

EDIT: he's banned. rip. I hope you still read these posts though
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Old 07-13-2020, 04:40 PM   #14
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

Whenever I feel heartbroken or am otherwise experiencing "loss", I return to the messages of CLANNAD, like this exchange from the very beginning:

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“Nothing can stay unchanged. Fun things… Happy things… They can’t possibly remain the same.”
Quote:
“Isn’t it fine as long as you find it? Isn’t it fine as long as you find the next fun and happy moments again?”
In life you will always have to deal with change and loss. It can be painful and make you want to give up. But in these times you have to remember that there is nothing in this world that you can't live without. Family, friends, possessions--- these are all very important things to us. When they come and go we might be inclined to fall into despair, but these changes are not dead-ends. As Tomoya says, even if we lose those that are closest to us... "you can go out and find something to replace what you've lost."

(This isn't suggesting that you can literally replace friends and family. It simply means that instead of living in the past and lingering on your loss, you can go and find something else fun and happy to fill the holes in your heart.)

Without your FFR friend, without FFR as a whole, you will be alright as long as you can find something else to dedicate yourself to.
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there are 743 matches for hedgehog suicide on deviantart
that's kind of a sad statistic

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Old 07-13-2020, 04:16 PM   #15
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I had gone through something similar in the past (funnily through FFR as well). I don't think banning yourself is the solution that would be most beneficial for you to resolve this issue. All that will do is serve you a band-aid solution to the bigger problem that needs to be addressed.

Instead, I would advise disconnecting yourself for a little bit to learn and self-reflect more about yourself while you let your emotions recover. It's pretty cliche but you need to give yourself enough time to process through your feelings.

Try not to make any rash decisions right now because emotions often cause us to think irrationally and make decisions we often times regret. Don't contact this person any longer and focus on your well being. Instead, reach out to your friends and vent if you need to, because when we get this anxiety out of our system, we begin making progress towards feeling better and becoming the better version of ourselves.

If you keep this up long enough where you actively focus on yourself, in time, you will view this situation differently. In hindsight, you'd be thankful that no rash decisions were made and you will grow to become a more emotionally resilient person. You are already doing a great job at taking the first steps to vocalize your concerns. Feel free let me know if you ever need a listening ear. I'm happy to help out.

Hope you feel better.
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Old 07-13-2020, 05:18 PM   #16
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I'm taking issue with this whole thread to be honest, by posting here it suggests a small part of you that is hoping they will see this thread. You can also see it in how you're explaining yourself, and if your goal was really to just get banned, you should have PM'd an admin. Not posted publicly.

If you really are apologetic, then you need to learn to accept someones boundaries completely. There are just going to be times in your life where you will never reach an external resolution with someone on something and that's life. But that doesn't mean resolution and acceptance can't come from within yourself. But that requires acceptance and ownership on your past behavior, good and bad, in order to move forward. I would heavily suggest seeking out professional therapy services.

There is no failure in asking for advice and help from someone. But it also requires you to face your weaknesses and failures head on and honestly.
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Old 07-13-2020, 05:43 PM   #17
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Default Re: Hey can I please be banned??

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I'm taking issue with this whole thread to be honest, by posting here it suggests a small part of you that is hoping they will see this thread. You can also see it in how you're explaining yourself, and if your goal was really to just get banned, you should have PM'd an admin. Not posted publicly.

If you really are apologetic, then you need to learn to accept someones boundaries completely. There are just going to be times in your life where you will never reach an external resolution with someone on something and that's life. But that doesn't mean resolution and acceptance can't come from within yourself. But that requires acceptance and ownership on your past behavior, good and bad, in order to move forward. I would heavily suggest seeking out professional therapy services.

There is no failure in asking for advice and help from someone. But it also requires you to face your weaknesses and failures head on and honestly.
very good post too
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:34 PM   #18
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I'm taking issue with this whole thread to be honest, by posting here it suggests a small part of you that is hoping they will see this thread. You can also see it in how you're explaining yourself, and if your goal was really to just get banned, you should have PM'd an admin. Not posted publicly.

If you really are apologetic, then you need to learn to accept someones boundaries completely. There are just going to be times in your life where you will never reach an external resolution with someone on something and that's life. But that doesn't mean resolution and acceptance can't come from within yourself. But that requires acceptance and ownership on your past behavior, good and bad, in order to move forward. I would heavily suggest seeking out professional therapy services.

There is no failure in asking for advice and help from someone. But it also requires you to face your weaknesses and failures head on and honestly.
I see what you're saying and you're entitled to you're perception. I had pm'd an admin requesting a ban before this thread was made - this was to accelerate the process, nothing more, nothing less.

In my head I imagined an admin just closing the thread on the first reply followed by being banned (what I wanted) because I wanted it to happen right away.

Instead, I got a ton of support of people willing to reach out and were genuinely concerned which was really nice to see. Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term as I can now say that I am at peace with myself from the emotional/mental warfare I waged on myself.

My conclusion is you can admire who some one is or what they do but still have to accept the reality when you're not truly compatible with them.

Could I have remained friends with this person? certainly, but I wanted more than was tangible from them and ultimately than I deserved for what I thought I was bringing to the table (in potential).

Just wanted to clear up my real intention was out of impulse more than anything else, this thread was not intended to spite the person.

edit: by the way, you're advice is good but, I've already tried logically every thing you can imagine including you're advice already - that's the nature of an obsessive tone covered in emotional noise, it drowns out any 'sound' ideas of what would ordinarily make sense no questions asked... and yes, I have looked for professional help, and you'd be surprised how hard it is to find it when you actually need it lmfao not to mention how much (excuse me) fucking money it costs jesus... I'll just have to stomach the insanity however long till I persevere or crash and burn (when problems like these happen in the future)

Last edited by ormix; 07-27-2020 at 01:52 PM..
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:50 PM   #19
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I see what you're saying and you're entitled to you're perception. I had pm'd an admin requesting a ban before this thread was made - this was to accelerate the process, nothing more, nothing less.

In my head I imagined an admin just closing the thread on the first reply followed by being banned (what I wanted) because I wanted it to happen right away.

Instead, I got a ton of support of people willing to reach out and were genuinely concerned which was really nice to see. Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term as I can now say that I am at peace with myself from the emotional/mental warfare I waged on myself.

My conclusion is you can admire who some one is or what they do but still have to accept the reality when you're not truly compatible with them.

Could I have remained friends with this person? certainly, but I wanted more than was tangible from them and ultimately than I deserved for what I thought I was bringing to the table (in potential).

Just wanted to clear up my real intention was out of impulse more than anything else, this thread was not intended to spite the person.
I feel like you're missing a lot of what my original point was. "Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term" This response in particular? You were told not to contact this person and you are essentially saying, I'm really glad that I was able to get around that rule without actually breaking it. For what it's worth, I hope this person doesn't see this. Running into people in public spaces is one thing but that's not what you're doing. You continue to respond to posts with your feelings under a narrative of continuously explaining yourself even when the people commenting on here, haven't asked you for it. You are literally having the conversation you wish you could PM this person and now you've returned to check on the thread with an alt account.

So no, I don't think you have fully reconciled this and whether the intent initially was out of impulse. You let it feed your desire to be heard by this person and now you have a multi-page thread explaining your feelings around the situation. You continue to show a lack of respect for this persons wishes which was very simple, "I don't want to hear from you again."

Again, I am just a random person on the internet. If you don't want to take my opinion I can completely understand that. Which is why I'm again recommending you seek out professional help on this. Heck, show them this thread, ask them for what their thoughts are. This community is wonderful for supporting each other but sometimes you're not going to get the hard truths you need from strangers and acquaintances.
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Old 07-27-2020, 02:02 PM   #20
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I feel like you're missing a lot of what my original point was. "Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term" This response in particular? You were told not to contact this person and you are essentially saying, I'm really glad that I was able to get around that rule without actually breaking it. For what it's worth, I hope this person doesn't see this. Running into people in public spaces is one thing but that's not what you're doing. You continue to respond to posts with your feelings under a narrative of continuously explaining yourself even when the people commenting on here, haven't asked you for it. You are literally having the conversation you wish you could PM this person and now you've returned to check on the thread with an alt account.

So no, I don't think you have fully reconciled this and whether the intent initially was out of impulse. You let it feed your desire to be heard by this person and now you have a multi-page thread explaining your feelings around the situation. You continue to show a lack of respect for this persons wishes which was very simple, "I don't want to hear from you again."

Again, I am just a random person on the internet. If you don't want to take my opinion I can completely understand that. Which is why I'm again recommending you seek out professional help on this. Heck, show them this thread, ask them for what their thoughts are. This community is wonderful for supporting each other but sometimes you're not going to get the hard truths you need from strangers and acquaintances.
obviously I have some emotions attached to this thread subsequently, I'll just admit my actions and intentions are two different things while I'm stuck on the idea of what my intent "was". I'm sorry to "come at you" and I feel awful as I type this - thanks for sharing an honest alternative perspective.

My negitive emotions are a reflection of what I really am, of all the problems I could have, these are the ones I would... but it can always be worse.

I'm done now, but I still love this community and play this game.

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