Long distance relationships?

[Cold Kitten]

I figured this belongs here..

ANYWAY. So, I'm currently involved in a long distance relationship. Have been for 4 months. We've had our ups and down, but for the most part, we've both been happier than ever.

We both have people telling us that we might as well just give it up though, because long distance relationships never work. Now, whereas we're both pretty determined to prove all of them wrong, I can see why people tend to say this.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. So, FFR. What are *your* opinions on long distance relationships? Good, bad, no preference, whatever it is. I want to know.

[Tarrik]

Wouldn't even bother to be honest. Been there, done that. After a year and a half, you get cheated on. Go for IRL.

Edit - Let me rephrase it .. It gets HARD. I was the faithful one, I believed it would all work out. I tried hard to have it work out, even forgave her for cheating. But it just didn't work. I wish you luck though.

[LJRoX]

This is my pure opinion on all of this, I do not state this as a matter of fact, but I repeat, opinion.

I believe long distance means you won't get to see each other in person.
Otherwise it wouldn't be long distance.

I wouldn't consider it a true Long Distance relationship if you met up IRL, started a relationship, then moved away from each other.

Unless you two are meeting up, I'd prefer going for a regular relationship.

[T-Force]

I'm against for reasons known by OP.
For one, my experiences were just via text. MSN, etc.
Unless you're going to meet, I don't see why you can unless you're Skyping with each other 24/7. (Right, Tiffany? ;P)

But hey; don't let it stop you.

[DarknessXoXLight]

It's definitely not an easy road. I've been there and it's hard to love someone knowing you won't be able to show them in person how much they mean to you and all. But people have done it before and somehow made it work, and while it might not be common, it's been done so ... if you're really determined to make it work, then I wish you the best of luck.

[Cold Kitten]

Originally Posted by T-Force

I don't see why you can unless you're Skyping with each other 24/7. (Right, Tiffany? ;P)

shutuptrevor. ._.

ANYWAY. On topic. We've made plans to meet up, in the future. However, with our current situations, it may not be possible for a year or two. That's not going to stop us though. We're trying to figure things out currently, and with the way things are going... It could quite possibly end up working out. It just depends on prime factors.

[Sephiroth28]

I can't say from experience but I think you should stick with it. You never know if you don't try and you shouldn't end something because of something that "might" happen. Also you shouldn't let people coerce you into doing something like that. It's your decision and since it doesn't really affect them it's not their right to make the decision for you.

[LJRoX]

If that's so, keep it goin man.
Soontime :]

whatever floats your boat

[cry4eternity]

I wouldn't be alive if they never worked. I don't know the exact details but my parents had one while my dad was in the navy. They're still married.

[Xx{Midnight}xX]

I tried my hand at one. They're not really a thing I can handle.

But then there are people like my brother who make them work. (Granted his girlfriend is only in the state below Washington. but it's still long distance.)

He's gone down there a bit and she's even endured a whole week of hell at our house and plans on doing so again.

So it can work it depends on the people.

Also my good buddy Cody ended up dating a girl who was across the country and they're working out perfectly. Even after they've met up in person.

[Cold Kitten]

Originally Posted by Xx{Midnight}xX

I tried my hand at one. They're not really a thing I can handle.

But then there are people like my brother who make them work. (Granted his girlfriend is only in the state below Washington. but it's still long distance.)

He's gone down there a bit and she's even endured a whole week of hell at our house and plans on doing so again.

So it can work it depends on the people.

Middie, you know the situation. Based on the two involved and everything, what do *you* think about the specific relationship?

[Xx{Midnight}xX]

Personally I don't know how you two act well enough to be completely fair.

But off what I know: Eh you two will either last a long time, or actually last. You two seem to get along pretty damn well for people who have never really met in person.

[Nyokou]

I had like 5+ long distance relationships before one of them finally worked out.

It's either meant to be or it isn't. That's pretty much it.

The only reason it worked out for us is cause I told him I would not date him until we met in person. And we did. He flew down to see me and stayed for quite a while. Then we were apart for my entire HS senior year. A few months after graduating, I moved in with him.

You don't really know a person until you've lived with them though, and that will determine whether your relationship is going to be great or if you need to get out of it ASAP.

Oh, and his sister just got married last year to the guy she was dating long distance for like 7 years. He lives in Canada. So... yeah, relationships can work out. Of course they met a ton of times in person while they were dating though, but it's not like they could do it often for obvious reasons.

Plus it helps that they were both adults when they started dating. They're now 27~28 years old, so they started dating at around 20~21. If you really love the person, you can wait a lot of years really. Like they did. My boyfriend and I are kinda the same except we met when we were 13~14, so we couldn't do much about it.

I don't advise kids that young to date online/long distance anyway, it's just a horrible mess. It will only work out if you're an adult really. I'd say 17+ years old.

[kommisar]

long distance relationships is heavily based on trust, which is nearly impossible to predict unless you've met at least once.

[Reach]

Anecdotally speaking, it only works if you're willing and ready to meet the person IRL as soon and as often as is possible.

I say this because they never seem to work when based only on the internet, yet when people start a relationship on the internet and progress into one where they meet IRL, it often works.

I've been in a relationship I started offline for like 3 years now, and I think at this point I could continue the relationship quite happily if she moved away for a couple of years. It's not the distance itself that breaks relationships, it's the idea that a relationship can be sustained without a physical meeting between two people.

[Sarumon91]

I apologize for just throwing myself into this thread like this, but I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 9 months. And, as someone already said (I forget who), it mainly revolves around trust, but also patience.

Long distance relationships may not work out with people who mainly rely on the physical factor to keep the relationship alive, but people who are understanding, honest, and are willing to put in the effort to keep your relationship alive and prospering will do just fine.

I'm 16, and my girlfriend and I couldn't be happier together despite the fact that we're half-way across the country from each other. Who ever said you had to be an adult to make a long distance relationship work?

[Arch0wl]

Originally Posted by Cold Kitten

I don't even know why I'm posting this.

I do. You get a lot of flak for it, and reassurance from other people will calm your doubts. You've even said that your goal is to prove others wrong about it, so in lieu of being right at least feeling so will do the trick.

One thing you really need to consider is what part of your commitment to the relationship is legitimate and what is a reaction to the criticism you've received.

If you're still in high school, I don't blame you though. You seem pretty smart and it's easy to feel like you're never going to find someone compatible by looking right in front of you when you have a dating pool like that to work with.

[Bill Kaulitz]

I think the long distance relationship is a horrible idea. Sure you maybe be in love with the guy/girl but your cut off from them, so you probably crave some sort of contact. Besides, what if 'the one' was right in your face and flirting with you? Would you really shrug off a hot girl/guy just to be faithful to a person your never going to meet?

[jaz_pup]

I think it's possible. As many people have said, it takes the right two people. I've been in one for the last 4+ years with a distance of about 5300 miles and it's been a dream so far. With me living in California, and him in the UK, it seemed impossible at first, which kinda opened the door to just being fun and chatty, but it turned out we really were meant for each other. Now 4 years and an immigrant visa later, he's moving here this week and we get married in August.
Obviously this might be different because many people on this site are minors and that's a different situation. I think at a younger age you need the personal contact to kinda learn social norms, but then again I was in a few LD relationships at that age.
Anyways, I say go for it, you never know what could happen!

[customstuff]

Originally Posted by Bill Kaulitz

Would you really shrug off a hot girl/guy just to be faithful to a person your never going to meet?

Uh, yeah. If you're in the relationship then both partners would probably plan on meeting up at some point, so it wouldn't be long distance for your entire life. It's kind of shallow to ditch someone that put that must trust and care into a relationship just for you, and then you ditch them for someone you just met because you can see them in real life. That person you just met doesn't care nearly as much as your current partner and you don't know anything about them anyway. At that point, it seems that the determining factor is your maturity level. If you're really going to just ditch someone who truly loves you for someone you just met just to see someone, then you're probably immature (or at least so horny you can't do anything yourself and end up hurting someone to please yourself). If you actually stay with that person far away, you'll meet up with them some day. When that happens, you'll experience all of the trust, love, caring, etc. that person has for you all at once and they will make you happier than ever before.


Just my thoughts about it... I'm not in a long distance relationship, but I think I love her enough that it wouldn't matter. Although taking her away from me now would make me miss her terribly, there's no way I'd ever cheat on her or dump her for someone else.