Old 05-25-2017, 03:41 PM   #1
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Lightbulb Mental illness thread

drop a shout if you currently suffer from mental illness, or have in the past

ive had major depression since i was like 8, and social anxiety, and i guess just general anxiety

current coping mechanisms: zoloft (100mg daily), smoking weed everyday (definitely not recommending to anyone, just saying), fuckloads of coffee.. i've wanted to get more into meditation, but my brain doesn't really work like that(?) so i treat stepmania like meditation (lol)

just trying to gauge where others are at. what's eating you and what do you do to fight it? bc i'll admit i have a terrible way of dealing with things, but trying to work on it.

hope ur all doin ok

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Old 05-25-2017, 04:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

probably not a critical thinking thread
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Old 05-25-2017, 04:23 PM   #3
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Depression and related mostly with me, with a fair bit of (social & not) anxiety; no medication though. I mostly deal with it by just trying to keep occupied constantly, which is pretty rough when there's no way for it to work.

I think the most effective way really is just to keep busy though, I've found with myself anyways that the only effective way for me to push it away is to just not think about it at all. Even if it's something monotonous or pointless, just being distracted means I'm too busy to be feeling down.

Coffee too, though. But I dont know if that actually helps at all, or if it's just an addiction. I might also have early signs of a drinking problem too, but I don't know if that'll really develop at all.

Best of wishes dude
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Old 05-25-2017, 04:27 PM   #4
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

depression is out of control these days... seems like everyone has it.
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Old 05-25-2017, 05:45 PM   #5
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depression is out of control these days... seems like everyone has it.
everyone experiences depression to some extent and it will manifest differently in everyone
it seems like everyone has it because you spend a lot of time on the computer; I'd imagine there's some correlation between being a sadboi and spending copious amounts of time on the internet
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:05 PM   #6
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

With me, it's been this thing called Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Multiple Personality Disorder. If you've ever seen Total Drama Island, Mike had this so it works similar to that. I've got this one personality, James or as he DEMANDS everyone call him, "Sneaky", is a bit off at times. He can be really irritable and sometimes even physical from what I've heard from my friends. I've got 6 personalities in total and each appear on their own "triggers" but I've been goin through this for around a year now. Sometimes it's good but sometimes it can end up horrible depending on which personality comes out when.

Although on the bright side, we found out at school that Sneaky likes FFR since I still had it up on my school computer so that's a plus I guess.
He left his own notes on which songs to avoid, and which songs were "complete bullshit" on the notes program on there it was so funny XD
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Old 05-26-2017, 05:33 AM   #7
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder.

I like the concept of this thread, as I have an older brother who suffers from depression due to the fact that he has a speech impediment and was made fun of for a lot of his life. I've been his only source of social interaction for the last decade or so because he doesn't like talking to people.

Any ideas for me to help him out?
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Old 05-26-2017, 11:07 AM   #8
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Depression was a crippling disorder for a long time for me-- I've recently floated into the territory of bipolar type II and I have some underlying conditions like depersonalization and generalized anxiety that have stuck with me, and have become an unavoidable aspect of life.

Coping took a long time, but I dedicated most of my life to self study, and trying to better understand my mind and behaviour as a whole. A lot of drug abuse took me a step lower in reaching that understanding, but I've been better for quite awhile in that department. And now with no withdrawal effects, or lingering PTSD (for the most part-- I had a really bad acid trip before I stopped indulging in psychedelics for awhile, just now getting over it really. I still start up into panic mode if I depersonalize a little bit but I have methods for keeping myself grounded), I can finally see things more clearly, and learn when I'm being irrational, and keep reminding myself of what's what.

In any mental illness, solid reminders and moderating your thoughts to weed out the unnecessary/harmful ones is essential. It takes a long time to study and understand what those are on an individual level, but if something like a mood swing or anxiety episode is triggering and you sense a pattern, take notes. It's time to reprogram certain cognitive fixations away from necessity.

If anyone is seeking advice or needs whether its with direct mental health issues, thoughts of harm, or substance abuse problems, here are a few links you can pick at:


- Information on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [CBT]
- Acceptance and Commitment Training [ACT]
- Meditation basics
- Mindfulness basics
- Lucid dreaming [also a huge community aimed to help people sleep better]
- The human brain [learning some basics on how it works]
- /r/Depression, /r/SuicideWatch, /r/Anxiety, /r/Bipolar
- RecoverYourLife [support network for self harm and mental illness with live chat]
- List of resources used related to SuicideWatch
- Tripsit.me [For live support on substance abuse and addiction and harm reduction/prevention]

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Originally Posted by Shadow_God_10 View Post
ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder.

I like the concept of this thread, as I have an older brother who suffers from depression due to the fact that he has a speech impediment and was made fun of for a lot of his life. I've been his only source of social interaction for the last decade or so because he doesn't like talking to people.

Any ideas for me to help him out?
What are some of his interests? The most beneficial thing he can be doing is interacting with groups of likeminded people both online and in person once he gets more comfortable. A skill or interest that he can pair up with people to explore makes it possible to see that communication challenges needn't be a barrier, and it's a great way to learn how to develop a style of communicating to get clear messages across with or without speech problems. Certainly doing nothing and being isolated is just going to make him think more and more that certain networks of people won't be accepting of him, but really do encourage him to try at it. Seeing himself move up the group's hierarchy of importance because of his contributions is a fantastic confidence boost.

That, and just finding activities that don't even need to reference vocalizations at all. Kungfu was a great thing to learn and practice in my younger years, but anything related is also effective at increasing confidence and self worth.
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:38 PM   #9
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I just feel alone. I have friends who care about me and a family that loves me, yet I still feel alone. I'm completely socially retarded. I've burned a lot of bridges over the years and some with people I'll have to see often. I want to repair those bridges, but people are stubborn (we both wronged each other, why can't they see it from the other side? Jesus fuck people). I'm jobless, lazing around without purpose, waiting for a goddamn callback and I don't even have the morale or energy to hit the gym. Anxiety strikes me hard at times and I can't form new relationships.

I just want to stop being socially retarded. I want depression and anxiety to get the hell out of my life. Most of all, I want to learn how to fucking focus, because my ADD riddled mind makes focusing on conversations impossible at times. What a combo of disorders. Meditation helps sometimes but I even lack the willpower to do that consistently.

I'm surprised how coherent this came out (I think) normally when Im drunk this would be a barrage of typos
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:17 PM   #10
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I want to do my thesis on mental illness, but I'm afraid whoever my adviser is is gonna be like, "but why tho" and I'll just be like I'm also afraid of explaining it to my friends/people in general, since I don't really talk about my issues with them anyway. But I still want to do it. Heh

I've had depression and anxiety for a while though. Most of the time I'm fine, like now, but I almost had to take a year off of school this past year because things went south, and because of that I don't think I can live my life without accepting that my mental illness is a part of me.

Being busy helps me a lot. I take as many classes and participate in as many extracurricular activities as I can so I don't have time to think. I also volunteer at a crisis hotline. I've found that it helps me feel less pathetic that people have to help me with my own problems, haha.

I also wasn't pre-med for a while, but because of how horrible my last semester was and a really bad chat I had with someone at the crisis hotline I reconsidered, so maybe something good came out of everything bad that happened.

Speaking of which, I'm procrastinating on studying for the MCAT 'cause I'll inevitably fail. ;______________;
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:29 PM   #11
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Depression is very common among peers. I'm depress all of the time, but I try to act as if I'm good with life when around my relatives or people in general. Honestly, I'm not sure what you can find your answer around the FFR community, but basically, you want to take your mind off that you are living miserable and do things that are fun and positive. Of course, it easier said than done, but I often play games with people like Co-op, PVP (FPS, etc.). Cooking and eating is one of the factor that plays in my role to fend off my depression. But honestly, if you're already taking medication and weed per se, I'm not sure if there is anything that could help you with against depression. If anything, you would probably need an ideal partner to take care of you. That's all I can offer.
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:55 PM   #12
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If anything, you would probably need an ideal partner to take care of you. That's all I can offer.
eheh... I'd suggest the opposite here. I wouldn't look to someone else to make you happy. I'm forever alone, but whenever I'm down in the dumps boys are more off-limits than they were before.

Actually, I told one of my close friends I had depression because I wanted at least one person on campus to know in case I went a-wall again, and he suggested that I try weed to make things feel better. I declined because I'm not the biggest fan of weed and getting high, haha. I guess it is a type of coping mechanism, though.
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Old 06-11-2017, 10:45 AM   #13
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I've been living with MDD + GAD for almost my entire life, but was only really diagnosed professionally 9 months ago.

I had a chance of passing away last week, but someone managed to find me in the middle of a near-highway before I could do anything else impulsive, heheh...
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Old 06-12-2017, 03:31 PM   #14
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

IIRC I tried the 'don't think too much' angle back in 2002. It's about as effective as 'just stop breathing' Coming to that conclusion is growth though. Accepting inevitabilities.

I now delve in over-thinking daily almost as much as I want to. I've begun trying various forms of higher self-awareness, meditations, I guess. The altered state of awareness that marijuana has given me on occasion has helped. That I'm addicted to the stuff doesn't. I'm exploring Buddhism.

My over-thinking has lead me to explore concepts of religion, philosophy. It's resulted in a paradigm-shift. By paradigm-shift I mean that things that I have taken as truth or reality, has shifted. 'I' here is my thought process. It's like I'm a decision-tree, each thought returns true or false, leads to a new pathway for a new thought. So it's like changing a switch high up on the decision tree, the paradigm shift. It's trying to reset, or create aknew, everything that I knew under the old paradigm, and fitting into the new one.

Oh yeah I recently read stuff supporting my idea that pesticides promote mental illness. A few studies working with farmers. Other things just ideas of exactly how specific pesticides interact with the body to possibly create the altered function that leads to depression and anxiety, things that are testable. Not that this is particularly useful right now.
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Old 06-12-2017, 11:50 PM   #15
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Recently spoke to a psychologist.

No details, but she says i have

ptsd. That was new. But i always had Chronic depression, &
social anxiety,
& inability to adapt.

(Suffered from divorced, several counselors, psychologists, and court people said this is the worst divorce seen in their careers. there was a Psychologist has a career based on split families for 25 years at the time. Up to date, still the worst one she says she has seen. Long story. I'm not even going to speak about how i got ptsd, but i've recently spiked in ptsd attacks, with 5 this week :'] )

Also; I Haven't left my house in about 2 years for anything more than to go to walmart, or something, so i don't have any real-life friends. Only friends i've met online. Even then, i only have 2 solid friendships i've built online.


The worst part is; since i am still considered a "Minor", along with living in a divorced family-- All the doctors my mother has taken me to see always say "i have a chemical imbalance" or something like that, and can only be fixed with medication. But the thing is; since i am a minor, and being in a divorced family; i have to have both of my parents sign of approval for something like medication. Even though countless psychologists, therapists, doctors, and other sources say i NEED medication in order to live a somewhat stable lifestyle, my dad refuses to believe i have any mental illness. This leads to me not being able to take any medication, or help at all. Another thing; he is stubborn. He doesn't believe he is wrong in any way. Never. I Can't quite put it into words, but... its just crazy.
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Old 06-14-2017, 12:01 AM   #16
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I've been born with High-Functioning Autism, but it did not really come out until I was 2. It's basically a different kind of wiring in my brain that allows me to excel in the left and suffer in the right.
Anyways, throughout all of my childhood life, I've been under school paraprofessionals and speech therapists so I can learn to communicate with others effectively. I was in need of supervision by the authorities until 8th grade where my independence started to shine.

I've always had a fascination with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and counting; and I also had a fascination to classic music! That really allowed me to excel in maths, physical sciences, concert music, and percussion!

That being said, to this day, I still can't really talk right, I talk too fast, and it's still hard to me to make eye contact and communicate properly with others. I also twitch quite a bit from time to time, and most of the time, common sense and sarcasm aren't really in my vocabulary. However, I am doing a lot better in all of this now.

Hope that makes sense, because most of the time, I can't even put words into text!

P.S. - It makes me upset that due to the fact that I suffer very differently from all of the other mental illnesses, as this one doesn't tinker with my emotions, I can't truly help out to those that suffer from other mental illnesses triggering emotions, and as such, I am always left guilty, helpless, and ashamed for that.
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Old 06-14-2017, 01:43 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by MarcusHawkins View Post
I've been born with High-Functioning Autism, but it did not really come out until I was 2. It's basically a different kind of wiring in my brain that allows me to excel in the left and suffer in the right.
Anyways, throughout all of my childhood life, I've been under school paraprofessionals and speech therapists so I can learn to communicate with others effectively. I was in need of supervision by the authorities until 8th grade where my independence started to shine.

I've always had a fascination with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and counting; and I also had a fascination to classic music! That really allowed me to excel in maths, physical sciences, concert music, and percussion!

That being said, to this day, I still can't really talk right, I talk too fast, and it's still hard to me to make eye contact and communicate properly with others. I also twitch quite a bit from time to time, and most of the time, common sense and sarcasm aren't really in my vocabulary. However, I am doing a lot better in all of this now.

Hope that makes sense, because most of the time, I can't even put words into text!

P.S. - It makes me upset that due to the fact that I suffer very differently from all of the other mental illnesses, as this one doesn't tinker with my emotions, I can't truly help out to those that suffer from other mental illnesses triggering emotions, and as such, I am always left guilty, helpless, and ashamed for that.
I honestly wanted to avoid posting in this thread (although one other thing super jumped out at me from someone else...not going to directly address that else I may throw some fightin' words )...but...!

Marcus, I don't want to ignore the former part of your thread reply, but your post script compelled me to quote and reply to you. Of course I cannot change how you feel, an I have no authority to even think I can, nor do I know exactly how you feel, so I cannot present the words "I understand" to you, even if I think I have some sort of idea.

Differences in types of mental illness does not give way to invalidation, so although many here may suffer from other sorts of illness than you, it doesn't make your experience any less valid. Validation also holds true for your emotions--you may feel guilty and ashamed, but I hope I can help you understand that you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty, since no blame can be placed on you for the distribution of mental illnesses among users as they are.

I'm no professional. I know nothing. But I would like to think...perhaps I know a bit about the crushing, agonizing weight of feeling guilty, ashamed, and helpless. I hope perhaps (with time and effort) you can come to understand that there's no need to feel a sense of comparison leaving you with the negative aftermath of guilt and shame.

You do you, do the best you can, and take your time. Sounds like things have been on an uptrend over the years?

Anywho. As stated previously, your post script just...tugged at somewhere...somewhere close to home. Try not to compare your struggle to that of others. ♡

Take care, my fiffer friend.
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Old 06-14-2017, 12:20 PM   #18
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Of course I cannot change how you feel, an I have no authority to even think I can, nor do I know exactly how you feel, so I cannot present the words "I understand" to you, even if I think I have some sort of idea.
This is exactly what else I go through when I try and help those other illnesses. It is also why I left with that guilt, helpnessness, and shame. Even though you say you don't understand, that phrase just sums that up, so I believe you DO understand.

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Differences in types of mental illness does not give way to invalidation, so although many here may suffer from other sorts of illness than you, it doesn't make your experience any less valid. Validation also holds true for your emotions--you may feel guilty and ashamed, but I hope I can help you understand that you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty, since no blame can be placed on you for the distribution of mental illnesses among users as they are.
Thank you so much for being one of the guys that truly believes mental illnesses should not be ignored, no matter how little.

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I'm no professional. I know nothing. But I would like to think...perhaps I know a bit about the crushing, agonizing weight of feeling guilty, ashamed, and helpless.
Due to what you said in the first quote I replied to, I'd say you already know a lot!

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I hope perhaps (with time and effort) you can come to understand that there's no need to feel a sense of comparison leaving you with the negative aftermath of guilt and shame.
I do hope this will happen with time and effort as well.

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You do you, do the best you can, and take your time. Sounds like things have been on an uptrend over the years?
Yes, things have been on a big uptrend over the years! I hope that trend continues to improve!

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Anywho. As stated previously, your post script just...tugged at somewhere...somewhere close to home. Try not to compare your struggle to that of others. ♡

Take care, my fiffer friend.
Thank you so much for this heartwarming and comforting response! I'll forever look upon this to help me think on how to improve!
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Old 06-15-2017, 07:07 AM   #19
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

diagnosed with autism when I was 12
took 2 attempts to finish primary school
took 3 attempts to finish high school
dropped out of 2 college studies
labeled unsuited for employment
weekly talks with psychologist
welfare for life
but at least I can step gud
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Old 06-15-2017, 04:53 PM   #20
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Anxiety is the big one for me, started for me around November last year and affected my Uni work for a bit, worst part is that it can decide to appear at any time, even when i'm not even feeling unhappy (such as right now for instance)

It doesn't help that paranoia is a big factor as well and when those two come along at once it's absolute shit, my mind just goes absolutely off on one about my personal image and my perception to others, it closed me off from others for a bit for some time early this year.

It's still an issue now but I think the best thing for me was just talking about it to practically anyone I spoke to. Heck I even made a really long facebook post around December/January pretty much laying my entire mental state on the line which was the best thing I could have done. The fact I was always around people at University as well was a big factor (something I'm missing a little now that i'm done) but it's been getting better. I've got some good friends who look out for me and I do the same for them, and I've been trying to change the way I think about people and life in general as a whole. (Putting things into fact or opinion helped out a lot) It still crops up in certain situations (mainly due to someone i'm interested in and me not trying to be a complete asswipe infront of them or my otherthinking of any form of social contact with them)

Also anxiety can be a surprisingly good motivator as it actually made the uni work I produced this year the best I've ever done (Possibly graduating with a first which I didn't think I had any hope of getting)

Now it's just keeping myself occupied and talking to people whilst not trying to destroy myself over someone I like or my personal evaluation of myself
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