[High School - Writing] SAT Essay

[sumzup]

I have the SAT coming up in June, and (desiring a 2400) wanted to consult people on what makes a good SAT Essay.

Here's a sample essay I wrote that the Princeton Review graded for me:

Prompt: Everyone makes hundreds of simple, spontaneous decisions daily. When the issues are not morally complex and the stakes are small, our normal instincts are sufficient. The problem comes when we don’t distinguish between minor and potentially major issues that demand a much more careful approach. But even with significant consideration, it can be very difficult to choose between two options that seem equally valuable. Adapted from Michael Josephson, Making Ethical Decisions
Assignment: What two options are the most difficult to choose between? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, and observations.
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Everyone hopes for events to happen in their favor, and most even work very hard for these circumstances to come about. What happens, though, when at the end one has two choices to make? Obviously one doesn't want to choose the wrong one and regret doing that years down the line. There are many such crossroads like this that people reach in their lives, but I believe the most difficult pair of choices to choose between is that of which parent to side with when one's parents are battling through a divorce.


I remember when I was young I watched an episode of G.I. Joe that has stuck with me all through my life. The hero (I don't remember his name) had to choose between cutting a blue wire and cutting an orange wire when faced with the task of disarming a dangerous remote bomb. He cut the blue wire when his friend (over video telephone) was urging him to cut the orange wire, and this ended up triggering the bomb. After this, I ran through countless scenarios in my mind where the orange wire was cut instead of the blue one. When I think of this now, I realize that either one would have likely triggered the bomb. A divorce is much like that. One's parents are the wires, and no matter which one is chosen, there are sure to be unwanted consequences as a result. Neither choice is palatable, but one has to be picked; there is no other way.


From my own personal experience, I remember a heart-rending affair. My parents did not quietly just separate and divide up their assets. They fought each other in court, each hiring big-name lawyers while I was left looking like a deer in the headlights. I didn't want to support either; I didn't even want a divorce. I wanted both of my parents to stay together, with me. Unfortunately this was not to be. I cried several times bemoaning my fate, and though I ended up not having to choose in the end (the court found fault with one of my parents), ever since I have felt like I was at fault.


They say there are always two paths: what is right and what is easy. But are there really? In my case, and even in the show G.I. Joe, there were two difficult options, neither desirable, and both nearly the same in outcome. The choice one has to make in this situation is usually not dependent on either morality or instinct. It comes down to virtually the flip of a coin; either happening is basically equivalent to the other, and one must live with whichever choice is made, whether the choice is from free will or forced upon oneself.
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So I ended up getting a 12 (out of 12) which makes me happy, but I think there's probably some weaknesses I haven't been able to spot that could end up giving me a 10 or 11 when I actually take it. In fact, if I was grading this, I would probably give it a 10, as my conclusion doesn't really follow from the thesis statement in the intro. I'm guessing my BS about my parents divorcing (lies are allowed) and the random G.I. Joe example bumped up the score.

My strategy (derived from review books and slightly altered) is basically to have an emphatic introduction and conclusion with two body paragraphs that are strongly developed. If you have any suggestions, do tell.

Edit: Keep in mind that I will have only 25 minutes.

[MrRubix]

Honestly that doesn't look like a 12 to me. That looks like a 10 at best (sorry if that's harsh, but I whored the crap out of SAT study until I understood what was needed for the 12).

In my opinion, what makes a good SAT essay is to, first, write a lot. Studies at MIT (too lazy to cite) showed that the graders tend to favor the longer essays than the shorter ones. Try to open strongly and perhaps develop three paragraphs that discuss relevant items. Try to think of topics beforehand from various disciplines that have wide application. SAT topics tend to be oriented around difficult situations/courage/choices/friendship/innovation/revolution/etc. Stuff like that. If you have very broad topics you can discuss, you can walk in and pretty much tackle anything they throw at you. Write a lot, and use many, many examples. If you speak in broad generalities all the time, you probably won't do as well.

One interesting notion is that if you choose to refer to a more obscure notion, it's actually sometimes okay to make things up. The graders likely aren't going to be insane history buffs, so you can probably get away with fudging the facts here and there if it helps your argument. They're honestly more into seeing your writing structure and evaluating your logical sequences from topic to topic. They aren't going to grade you down for it unless you make some outrageous claim like "When Pearl Harbor was bombed in 1924" or something nuts.

I wrote about Rutherford, MLK, and Bill Gates. I honestly can't remember what the essay prompt was, but I had a 12/12 on the essay and an 800 overall, so I think that this strategy is a pretty sound one.

[MrRubix]

By the way the answer to your math challenge is 60. I can prove/show my work if you want.

[sumzup]

Yeah, I was actually extremely surprised when I saw that score; I wasn't trying at all, and I definitely expected points to be taken off given the mediocre examples and lack of coherence.

I will take your suggestion of knowing some general examples to heart; part of my problem with practice essays has been coming up with suitable examples that I can write about in depth (see above essay). I'll fashion myself a repertoire of examples I can use as necessary, which in turn, I guess, will help me to write faster come the actual test and do three strong body paragraphs instead of just two.

Edit: Regarding the Math Challenge, yes the answer is 60 (credits being sent). I'm curious, did you approach the problem by using the students or the professors?

[MrRubix]

I personally focused on people and their histories and/or influential actions/stories. A lot of notable figures have so many examples that can fit into so many different themes. Alternatively, you could talk about things from different subjects (ie. a book you know well with many themes, a famous event, a famous piece of media/history, or even a personal event if you can provide many solid examples).

Also I recommend making a thesis statement of sorts so it's easier to determine what you will talk about, and then make sure you tie your examples and body paragraphs back to that thesis. You seem to do a decent job at this already, but this makes your essay stronger especially if you have multiple examples.

EDIT: Professors mainly. Since there are three you can determine that, within the active placement space, there are 6 ways to arrange them (ABG, AGB, BAG, BGA, GAB, GBA), and then you can determine that since each wants to be surrounded by two students (say a student = * here, and teacher = T), we have
*T*T*T***
*T*T**T**
*T*T***T*
*T**T*T**
*T**T**T*
*T***T*T*
**T*T*T**
**T*T**T*
**T**T*T*
***T*T*T*
Or 10 different arrangements for the teachers to have students on each side. Since we have 6 ways to arrange the teachers, that's 10 seating arrangements * 6 teacher setups = 60 ways total