Chuck Norris

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 12:53 PM

In an attempt to create a very random thread that will hopefully put a stop to bieng bored I have created this thread. Post what ever here just keep it interesting to some extent.

One time Ozzy Ozbourne bit the head off of a bat, Not to be outdone Chuck Norris bit the head off of batman.

Chuck Norris once spent an hour eating ten 10 pound steaks. he spent the first 45 minutes of that hour having sex with his waitress.

chuck norris remembers the alamo and he isn't too happy about it.

a good way to tell if you are about to be attacked by chuck norris is to notice the music becoming more intense. You might also see ninjas scoping you out from behind trees and on roofs. Death is certain at this point.

when chuck norris answers the phone, he just says "go" This is not permission for you to begin speaking. It is your cue to start running for your life.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that chuck norris's PC will crash.

The Black-Eyed Peas were simply known as the peas until they crossed paths with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does NOT wear a cup, he wears a barrel.

When Chuck Norris gives the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck norris does not leave messages, He leaves warnings.

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later that nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history

Chuck norris once won a staring contest with medusa. and won.

Thats's all I have for now. oh yeah and transformers related.

Chuck Norris drives optimus Prime to work.

leonid · 07-2-2009, 12:54 PM

Cool story bro

**customstuff** · 07-2-2009, 12:58 PM

"Sex" doesn't have to be censored.

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by customstuff

"Sex" doesn't have to be censored.

I thought that the site would sencor it so I didn't even bother

**Oni-Paranoia** · 07-2-2009, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddrmaxextreme2

I thought that the site would sencor it so I didn't even bother

They don't censor "censor" either

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oni-Paranoia

They don't censor "censor" either

...I wasn't looking at the keyboard OR the monitor.

**eastsideman09** · 07-2-2009, 01:12 PM

So you don't know how to type OR spell?

**Flaming_Dingleberry** · 07-2-2009, 01:20 PM

He won a staring contest... AND WON?! No way.

**customstuff** · 07-2-2009, 01:22 PM

Too much Chuck Norris.

DotKritic · 07-2-2009, 01:24 PM

I thought this was another thread of another person dying. You scared the hell out of me.

Don't you understand if Chuck Norris died that this would be the start of the apocalypse?

Dimitri13 · 07-2-2009, 01:51 PM

That's all YOU have? More like that's all you want to post from that Chuck Norris fact generator.

Quigly · 07-2-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddrmaxextreme2

...I wasn't looking at the keyboard OR the monitor.

Wait then where were you looking?

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimitri13

That's all YOU have? More like that's all you want to post from that Chuck Norris fact generator.

actually no. and what? they have a fact genorator? can you give me a link?

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastsideman09

So you don't know how to type OR spell?

I spell much better than most people. and I wasn't looking because I was watching Transformers 1 at the time. #2 was kick ass. That's why.

ddrmaxextreme2 · 07-2-2009, 02:59 PM

When you open a can of whup ass, Chuck Norris comes out

People Post SOMETHING related to the thread.

Quigly · 07-2-2009, 03:01 PM

DotKritic · 07-2-2009, 03:10 PM

Chuck Norris and Billy Mays once had a beard-off. The winner was to get a bucket of OxiClean, and the loser's penalty was to perform in an ultra-neocon radio show.

Billy Mays once sold pain to Chuck Norris.

alexdestructions · 07-2-2009, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddrmaxextreme2

When you open a can of whup ass, Chuck Norris comes out

People Post SOMETHING related to the thread.

Too bad Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny anymore.

P.S. Nice triple post.

OniYoshi · 07-2-2009, 04:47 PM

cool story. and like the law of the universe says, nobody, I mean nobody, would survive a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick!

jugglinguy · 07-2-2009, 04:49 PM

Anyone who thinks Chuck Norris jokes are still funny deserves to be banned for UUAness

07-2-2009, 12:53 PM	#1
ddrmaxextreme2 FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 320	Chuck Norris In an attempt to create a very random thread that will hopefully put a stop to bieng bored I have created this thread. Post what ever here just keep it interesting to some extent. One time Ozzy Ozbourne bit the head off of a bat, Not to be outdone Chuck Norris bit the head off of batman. Chuck Norris once spent an hour eating ten 10 pound steaks. he spent the first 45 minutes of that hour having sex with his waitress. chuck norris remembers the alamo and he isn't too happy about it. a good way to tell if you are about to be attacked by chuck norris is to notice the music becoming more intense. You might also see ninjas scoping you out from behind trees and on roofs. Death is certain at this point. when chuck norris answers the phone, he just says "go" This is not permission for you to begin speaking. It is your cue to start running for your life. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that chuck norris's PC will crash. The Black-Eyed Peas were simply known as the peas until they crossed paths with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does NOT wear a cup, he wears a barrel. When Chuck Norris gives the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Chuck norris does not leave messages, He leaves warnings. As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later that nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history Chuck norris once won a staring contest with medusa. and won. Thats's all I have for now. oh yeah and transformers related. Chuck Norris drives optimus Prime to work. __________________ the message below is true. the message above is false. Index Represent this means 1 is lying about bieng true but is actually the truth therefore cancels it self out...maybe Last edited by ddrmaxextreme2; 07-2-2009 at 01:03 PM.. Reason: Removing a sensor

07-2-2009, 01:20 PM	#8
Flaming_Dingleberry Everybody gets one. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Fuckin space bro Posts: 1,008	Re: Chuck Norris He won a staring contest... AND WON?! No way.

07-2-2009, 01:24 PM	#10
DotKritic Forum User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Houston Age: 19 Posts: 2,964	Re: Chuck Norris I thought this was another thread of another person dying. You scared the hell out of me. Don't you understand if Chuck Norris died that this would be the start of the apocalypse? __________________ FFR Member Since December 17th, 2004

07-2-2009, 02:59 PM	#15
ddrmaxextreme2 FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 320	Re: Chuck Norris When you open a can of whup ass, Chuck Norris comes out People Post SOMETHING related to the thread. __________________ the message below is true. the message above is false. Index Represent this means 1 is lying about bieng true but is actually the truth therefore cancels it self out...maybe

07-2-2009, 03:01 PM	#16
Quigly nah Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: nah Age: 29 Posts: 3,506	Re: Chuck Norris __________________ nah

07-2-2009, 12:54 PM	#2
leonid I am leonid Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: MOUNTAIN VIEW Age: 34 Posts: 8,080	Re: Chuck Norris Cool story bro __________________ Proud member of Team No

07-2-2009, 03:10 PM	#17
DotKritic Forum User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Houston Age: 19 Posts: 2,964	Re: Chuck Norris Chuck Norris and Billy Mays once had a beard-off. The winner was to get a bucket of OxiClean, and the loser's penalty was to perform in an ultra-neocon radio show. Billy Mays once sold pain to Chuck Norris. __________________ FFR Member Since December 17th, 2004

07-2-2009, 04:47 PM	#19
OniYoshi FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas,USA Posts: 45	Re: Chuck Norris cool story. and like the law of the universe says, nobody, I mean nobody, would survive a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick! __________________ Click here to feed me a Mario! Get your own at Pokeplushies! Level me up!!Or I'll feed you a bagel.

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