Insanely Blissful

Phobia87 · 02-28-2009, 08:19 PM

Ok, so I'm not that great at writing poetry. I don't really spend time keeping the five iambic feet of the sonnet, but I'll work on that on my next one.
I've wrote alot of poems, each getting closer and closer to a true sonnet, so I hope to be writing more fluently soon

Anyways, here it is...
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Withdrawing the knife, I smile with content.
Oh yes, such a feeling of ecstasy.
Blood trickling, I truly love this scent,
Is as lovely as the body next to me.

Kneeling down to kiss a precious pink lip,
Looking into those lifeless hazel eyes,
Cupped hands filled with crimson, take a sip,
Brings the feeling of flying in the skies.

Such satisfaction does killing bring me,
To send another soul to the dead's land.
Watching as they die, such a sight to see,
One would have to witness it first hand.

"I am," Speaking slowly and give a nod;
One last sadistic grin and finish, "God".
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**funmonkey54** · 02-28-2009, 08:27 PM

From the sounds of it your going to hell.

No, but seriously.

Lyricly speaking: A+
Entertainingly speaking: A
Creepily speaking: A+

Phobia87 · 02-28-2009, 08:30 PM

Haha, don't take it seriously. I just like to take things in a different direction

**nois-or-e** · 02-28-2009, 11:23 PM

However so, funmonkey is on the money. A+, A, A+....
but by the sounds of it, you are probably still going to hell, lol

Interesting writings, I look forward to reading the finished piece.

Verruckter · 03-1-2009, 06:10 PM

It didn't make me feel anything.

Sorry.

Phobia87 · 03-2-2009, 09:28 PM

Then maybe you're just as twisted as me.

Thanks for the comments ^^

EDIT: and I just noticed that white text, so wrong xD

**dore** · 03-3-2009, 12:13 AM

as I say in every poetry thread

line breaks =/= punctuation

use punctuation

it gives your thoughts structure

which is the whole point of poetry

Phobia87 · 03-3-2009, 12:47 AM

Edited just for you dore

kitkat9 · 04-7-2009, 07:38 AM

Yes, I see that this is from a long time ago, but truthfully I really didn't feel a whole lot. I do like what you are trying to do with murder. It puts in a twist, most poetry i've seen is from the eyes of a victim.

One thing I would suggest is getting that man to therapy. =D

02-28-2009, 08:19 PM	#1
Phobia87 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2007 Age: 36 Posts: 16	Insanely Blissful Ok, so I'm not that great at writing poetry. I don't really spend time keeping the five iambic feet of the sonnet, but I'll work on that on my next one. I've wrote alot of poems, each getting closer and closer to a true sonnet, so I hope to be writing more fluently soon Anyways, here it is... --------------------------------------------------- Withdrawing the knife, I smile with content. Oh yes, such a feeling of ecstasy. Blood trickling, I truly love this scent, Is as lovely as the body next to me. Kneeling down to kiss a precious pink lip, Looking into those lifeless hazel eyes, Cupped hands filled with crimson, take a sip, Brings the feeling of flying in the skies. Such satisfaction does killing bring me, To send another soul to the dead's land. Watching as they die, such a sight to see, One would have to witness it first hand. "I am," Speaking slowly and give a nod; One last sadistic grin and finish, "God". --------------------------------------------------- Last edited by Phobia87; 03-3-2009 at 12:47 AM..

02-28-2009, 08:27 PM	#2
funmonkey54 The Chill Keeper Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 4,127	Re: Insanely Blissful From the sounds of it your going to hell. No, but seriously. Lyricly speaking: A+ Entertainingly speaking: A Creepily speaking: A+ __________________

02-28-2009, 08:30 PM	#3
Phobia87 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2007 Age: 36 Posts: 16	Re: Insanely Blissful Haha, don't take it seriously. I just like to take things in a different direction

02-28-2009, 11:23 PM	#4
nois-or-e SponCon Aficionado Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: doot~ Age: 38 Posts: 3,250	Re: Insanely Blissful However so, funmonkey is on the money. A+, A, A+.... but by the sounds of it, you are probably still going to hell, lol Interesting writings, I look forward to reading the finished piece. __________________

03-1-2009, 06:10 PM	#5
Verruckter FFR Player Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Canada, with the cool people! Posts: 2,707	Re: Insanely Blissful It didn't make me feel anything. Sorry. __________________ Truth lies in loneliness, When hope is long gone by -Blind Guardian, The Soulforged Image removed for size violation.

03-2-2009, 09:28 PM	#6
Phobia87 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2007 Age: 36 Posts: 16	Re: Insanely Blissful Then maybe you're just as twisted as me. Thanks for the comments ^^ EDIT: and I just noticed that white text, so wrong xD Last edited by Phobia87; 03-2-2009 at 09:31 PM..

03-3-2009, 12:13 AM	#7
dore caveman pornstar Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: ridin on a unicorn Age: 33 Posts: 6,317	Re: Insanely Blissful as I say in every poetry thread line breaks =/= punctuation use punctuation it gives your thoughts structure which is the whole point of poetry __________________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

03-3-2009, 12:47 AM	#8
Phobia87 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2007 Age: 36 Posts: 16	Re: Insanely Blissful Edited just for you dore

04-7-2009, 07:38 AM	#9
kitkat9 FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: San Antonio ~!(210)!~ Age: 29 Posts: 87	Re: Insanely Blissful Yes, I see that this is from a long time ago, but truthfully I really didn't feel a whole lot. I do like what you are trying to do with murder. It puts in a twist, most poetry i've seen is from the eyes of a victim. One thing I would suggest is getting that man to therapy. =D

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