what is your opinion of teenage/children dating - Page 6

Necros140606 · 03-8-2009, 05:06 AM

in contrast with this thread's shared opinion, i would like to point out that there's an extremely high chance of dating being just a social implication of the istinct of reproduction. i glanced through this without finding some good argument over the matter so i might as well do it myself (i'm not as fluent as other people in here though).

let's start from the beginning.

childhood.

due to the extremely high confomism and selfishness of small children, a relationship in these years is not possibile. dating would barely mean a desire of playing with the other from both parts, and, in rare occasions, the curiosity of discovering the diverse. it is widely known that in the late childhood childrens may experience the first unintended sexual approachs, in realizing the difference between male and female, and possibly exchange impressions and even showing each other their genitals. that's about it for childhood. -note that this is in important step, and the children who have been kept away from the other sex because of puritan views will be less mature than the average early teen (wich is still very immature) and more likely to develop sexist views and behaviours.

the early teens:

puberty plays a huge role in this step. due to the development of secondary sexual charachters, such as facial hair, voice change, or breasts, kids in this age will start to get interested in each other. we could say that, from a purely biological standpoint, this means both parts are ready to reproduce. it is obviously not possible from a social perspective, but istincts will not listen to such restrictions. hormones will start to flow in the kids' bodies, and the neural message they carry is short and simple: reproduction.

now let me say that in the early teens we're still having the transition from the "girls suck" behaviour to the interest in the opposite sex. therefore, the ones who had shared childhood sexual experiences will be more open for what's to come.

as you all know, the period going from 11 to 14, more or less, is the base for building a relationship. as almost anyone else said, it's practice. but not only that. it's a way to feel apreciated, therefore relationships will grow your self esteem. it's a way to deal with the different, and this has the upside of opening your mind, keeping you from developing antisocial and xenophobe/sexist positions (note that they could be developed from many other situations, so consider the relationship a part of the many influences). and do not forget that the primary reason why people this age date is sex. most people don't do it the first time in this phase just because the adolescence stimuli are filtered by our culture, education, and personal history. it's generally considered bad for kids to have sex, because we say it's immature, they are not ready and so on. keep in mind that they actually ARE ready to the act itself, but they are not to all the social constructs we have posed alongside sex. defining them as good or bad is not my business.

the late teens.

many of us have had (or will have) their first complete sexual intercourse during this phase. i personally had my first at 15. unfortunately, there are still ones who missed both childhood and early teens chances to practice and understand the love relathionship, for various reasons. these perople will be in a position of disadvantage and will have to make up for the time they've lost. most of the (unwanted) pregnancy cases are in this phase, most likely because of lack of education but also experience. there isn't much to say about the late teens actually, so i'll make it short. considering the whole progress from childhood to the adult age, it is advised you proceeed through all steps in order to gain a better understanding of the others, of yourself, of the relationships and about your personal concept of love. not only: it is very important that you are supported by family, and secondarily by friends. sexuality and relationships in general have their rules, which can be taught like anything else. learning tem yourself is also effective, but much more difficult and much more risky.

in conclusion, to the ones who don't support the dating (and, i deduce, the contact between opposite sexes till a certain age): think through the consequences of your standopints before making such bold statements. the cure might be worse than the injury.

ps: i just checked the dates, oh well

Soulmelter · 04-4-2009, 07:09 PM

I have a few opposing opinions on this...

First off, about the young children "dating", I don't see that as possible nor anything more than completely rare. So I'm not going to say anything on that.

For early teens mostly I get the feeling that those kids "date" because they find it necessary. So many people say, oh no I don't have a boyfriend, oh I really want a chick, oh no I'm behind everyone else! So I think that's pretty ridiculous, especially when those poor kids get a "boyfriend/girlfriend", it lasts a day and everyone claims "love" is in the air, they break up and end up being "heartbroken" for a week, then lather rinse repeat. I'm 13 years old and I've never had a "boyfriend" (although I've been asked... /: lots) and I don't intend to until much later on when it actually makes sense.

But in a way, it can be decent I suppose for exploratory purposes. To see what the opposite sex is like, to introduce oneself to the simple thought of a commitment. This is one of those situations where most touch the flame numerous times before realizing that it burns. But that's how we learn, right?

All right, now as far as late teens, that's a bit different (in my opinion). I've noticed that it's either all about sex or puppy/young love. As far as sex, that age kids' hormones are RAGING, and all too often it happens that either the girl gets raped, or gets told "if you love me, you'll have sex with me" and she ends up hating herself for the rest of her life for it. I'm not saying it's all like this, but it happens enough that it really does make me upset. And then there are those that get pregnant. Maybe they were smart and used protection, maybe they were caught up in the moment and didn't, maybe they just thought it wasn't necessary. I see all of those on the same level, because no matter what, that poor teenage girl does NOT deserve to go through something as difficult as that.

So on this topic, I think that late teens dating can be beneficial as long as they can be smart and responsible about sex. Or just wait until later, doesn't make a difference to me. Now about young love. That can truly be adorable, when it's meant. And when it isn't forced. At that age, so much is going on in a teen's head, and to have that special person to... look to is just amazing. As long as it isn't blown up too much, and they both realize the possibility that it could end, and they are prepared to be able to live on with that. One thing that really drives me mad is when these types of couples claim they will be together forever and ever, because you just can't make a promise like that. And then something unexpected happens, poor souls.

So based on MAJORITY, I guess you could say I'm against teens dating. Not really
against it, but it's definitely not my thing. And I'm tired of being around people who get all upset over it. But that's not to say it's all bad, because sometimes it does work out. And I think that is pure amazing fate (:

f2ppure · 04-4-2009, 07:15 PM

I personally just think teenage/children dating is for experience. I'm against sexual relationships at this age. I just feel it's okay to have someone there you care about more than the average and always enjoy hanging out with. Dating as a child or teenager shouldn't be really serious and should be thought of as emotional experience; not at all sexual.

**tha Guardians** · 05-24-2009, 06:42 PM

I don't know if this has already been posted, but:

No matter what age you are, more than likely you feel you have to present yourself and be validated by your peers. What better way to do this than dating? You get to try to understand what it takes to make a relationship and hold on to one, while at the same time gaining a close partner that you hopefully can't trust and depend on. If not, then it is up to you to learn to expect better for yourself. Better to start this early on than to jump in the game late and feel pressure to make a relationship last, due to fear of spending your life alone.

We, as a species, need companionship, regardless of age. It's a blessing and a hindrance.

Please do not use this post to oversimplify the original question, but use it as a clue to the riddle.

Sorry for the late post, everyone.

**Megamanmaniac** · 05-24-2009, 06:56 PM

There are certain teens that can handle a relationship the right way and some who cant. Some teens are wanting a relationship for the wrong reason and i believe that you should date at a young age becuase you have your parents that can help you out and talk to you about dating and relationships and such. But not all parents are right about relationships either. Like an example a divorced parent. I believe that teens can date as long as they follow some certain rules like letting the parents know where they are going, what they will be doing, who will be there, when it starts and ends, etc. Maybe even have the parents come along on the first couple dates. Thats my opinion and you can agree or disagree if you want. There are hundreds of opinios out there.

Izzy · 05-25-2009, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greekanilater

what is your opinion of teenage/children dating? my opinion is yet to be properly formed so i am asking to inform my self on the thing i have yet to think of... but nonetheless i think it is stupid for teenagers and children to be dating, some of my friends are dating just for sex... well they used to be my friends... my other friends are dating for some unknown reason but it's obviously not going to be permanent. dating with out future obligations is pointless... plus we are not mature enough to realize that we should be waiting for our lives to be set up a little more before we take a chance to become apart of someone elses.

I agree with this. Highschoolers dating just for the sake of dating is pathetic. Idiots, all of them.

How many highschool girls go out with a guy and say they are going to get married and then break up a week later? To many.

The girls are so stupid that guys just use them like toys. Sometimes it can go the other way around, but not as often.

korny · 05-26-2009, 02:49 AM

Izzy, everytime I read one of your posts I feel like my IQ has suffered a serious blow.

Teenage dating creates valuable experience. Yes, there are girls who go out with guys and say they're going to get married and break up. This experience, will help them better understand how to approach a relationship the next time in order to avoid becoming so absorbed in the person without really knowing what you're becoming so absorbed in.

Dating for the sake of dating when you're young? Why the hell not? What better things do you have to do then to enjoy male/female companionship? Especially at that age besides your current hobbies? Not every single person needs to be dating or is ready for it at that matter. It varies from person to person. To speak on the behalf of all teenagers however, is just impractical.

Izzy · 05-26-2009, 10:12 AM

The thread title says to post my opinion. I am sorry you are to egotistical to let anything but your own thoughts be said.

I didn't say every person was stupid with highschool relationships. Sure its possible for a teenager to be mature enough about a relationship, it just isn't that common.

Instead of guys and girls forming friendships they form unnecessary drama over relationships that they don't understand aren't serious. It tears people apart, and creates enemies between the kids.

korny · 05-26-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izzy

It tears people apart, and creates enemies between the KIDS.

It seems you have overlooked the point I was making completely. They are indeed, just kids. The drama, and all that other crap, are just some of the experiences we learn to avoid or deal with when we get older. Our teenage existence is miniscule in comparison to the rest our adult lives. It is through this small portion of time, that we gain the necessary social skills for our more important, adult lives. The frivolousness of teenage dating, should be viewed as a memory to laugh at, or dwell upon in years to come, in whatever retrospect you had experienced it. Had I never dated while I was younger, and I were to start now, I would be far more intimidated by a females presence when trying to attract her for a date.

As young adults, we are granted the freedom to do as other adults choose, and during this period are supposed to have the best times of our lives. So sure, you can always date later, but I speak for a mass majority when I say that they'd much rather have the experience they acquired as a teenager, when dealing with the adult dating life, rather for them to say that dating young screwed up there life.

03-8-2009, 05:06 AM	#101
Necros140606 FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Italy Age: 35 Posts: 1,088	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating in contrast with this thread's shared opinion, i would like to point out that there's an extremely high chance of dating being just a social implication of the istinct of reproduction. i glanced through this without finding some good argument over the matter so i might as well do it myself (i'm not as fluent as other people in here though). let's start from the beginning. childhood. due to the extremely high confomism and selfishness of small children, a relationship in these years is not possibile. dating would barely mean a desire of playing with the other from both parts, and, in rare occasions, the curiosity of discovering the diverse. it is widely known that in the late childhood childrens may experience the first unintended sexual approachs, in realizing the difference between male and female, and possibly exchange impressions and even showing each other their genitals. that's about it for childhood. -note that this is in important step, and the children who have been kept away from the other sex because of puritan views will be less mature than the average early teen (wich is still very immature) and more likely to develop sexist views and behaviours. the early teens: puberty plays a huge role in this step. due to the development of secondary sexual charachters, such as facial hair, voice change, or breasts, kids in this age will start to get interested in each other. we could say that, from a purely biological standpoint, this means both parts are ready to reproduce. it is obviously not possible from a social perspective, but istincts will not listen to such restrictions. hormones will start to flow in the kids' bodies, and the neural message they carry is short and simple: reproduction. now let me say that in the early teens we're still having the transition from the "girls suck" behaviour to the interest in the opposite sex. therefore, the ones who had shared childhood sexual experiences will be more open for what's to come. as you all know, the period going from 11 to 14, more or less, is the base for building a relationship. as almost anyone else said, it's practice. but not only that. it's a way to feel apreciated, therefore relationships will grow your self esteem. it's a way to deal with the different, and this has the upside of opening your mind, keeping you from developing antisocial and xenophobe/sexist positions (note that they could be developed from many other situations, so consider the relationship a part of the many influences). and do not forget that the primary reason why people this age date is sex. most people don't do it the first time in this phase just because the adolescence stimuli are filtered by our culture, education, and personal history. it's generally considered bad for kids to have sex, because we say it's immature, they are not ready and so on. keep in mind that they actually ARE ready to the act itself, but they are not to all the social constructs we have posed alongside sex. defining them as good or bad is not my business. the late teens. many of us have had (or will have) their first complete sexual intercourse during this phase. i personally had my first at 15. unfortunately, there are still ones who missed both childhood and early teens chances to practice and understand the love relathionship, for various reasons. these perople will be in a position of disadvantage and will have to make up for the time they've lost. most of the (unwanted) pregnancy cases are in this phase, most likely because of lack of education but also experience. there isn't much to say about the late teens actually, so i'll make it short. considering the whole progress from childhood to the adult age, it is advised you proceeed through all steps in order to gain a better understanding of the others, of yourself, of the relationships and about your personal concept of love. not only: it is very important that you are supported by family, and secondarily by friends. sexuality and relationships in general have their rules, which can be taught like anything else. learning tem yourself is also effective, but much more difficult and much more risky. in conclusion, to the ones who don't support the dating (and, i deduce, the contact between opposite sexes till a certain age): think through the consequences of your standopints before making such bold statements. the cure might be worse than the injury. ps: i just checked the dates, oh well __________________ Last edited by Necros140606; 03-8-2009 at 05:11 AM..

04-4-2009, 07:09 PM	#102
Soulmelter FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Autopsy Room Four (SK) Posts: 2	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating I have a few opposing opinions on this... First off, about the young children "dating", I don't see that as possible nor anything more than completely rare. So I'm not going to say anything on that. For early teens mostly I get the feeling that those kids "date" because they find it necessary. So many people say, oh no I don't have a boyfriend, oh I really want a chick, oh no I'm behind everyone else! So I think that's pretty ridiculous, especially when those poor kids get a "boyfriend/girlfriend", it lasts a day and everyone claims "love" is in the air, they break up and end up being "heartbroken" for a week, then lather rinse repeat. I'm 13 years old and I've never had a "boyfriend" (although I've been asked... /: lots) and I don't intend to until much later on when it actually makes sense. But in a way, it can be decent I suppose for exploratory purposes. To see what the opposite sex is like, to introduce oneself to the simple thought of a commitment. This is one of those situations where most touch the flame numerous times before realizing that it burns. But that's how we learn, right? All right, now as far as late teens, that's a bit different (in my opinion). I've noticed that it's either all about sex or puppy/young love. As far as sex, that age kids' hormones are RAGING, and all too often it happens that either the girl gets raped, or gets told "if you love me, you'll have sex with me" and she ends up hating herself for the rest of her life for it. I'm not saying it's all like this, but it happens enough that it really does make me upset. And then there are those that get pregnant. Maybe they were smart and used protection, maybe they were caught up in the moment and didn't, maybe they just thought it wasn't necessary. I see all of those on the same level, because no matter what, that poor teenage girl does NOT deserve to go through something as difficult as that. So on this topic, I think that late teens dating can be beneficial as long as they can be smart and responsible about sex. Or just wait until later, doesn't make a difference to me. Now about young love. That can truly be adorable, when it's meant. And when it isn't forced. At that age, so much is going on in a teen's head, and to have that special person to... look to is just amazing. As long as it isn't blown up too much, and they both realize the possibility that it could end, and they are prepared to be able to live on with that. One thing that really drives me mad is when these types of couples claim they will be together forever and ever, because you just can't make a promise like that. And then something unexpected happens, poor souls. So based on MAJORITY, I guess you could say I'm against teens dating. Not really against it, but it's definitely not my thing. And I'm tired of being around people who get all upset over it. But that's not to say it's all bad, because sometimes it does work out. And I think that is pure amazing fate (:

04-4-2009, 07:15 PM	#103
f2ppure FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: A certain Longitude and Latitude Age: 32 Posts: 82	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating I personally just think teenage/children dating is for experience. I'm against sexual relationships at this age. I just feel it's okay to have someone there you care about more than the average and always enjoy hanging out with. Dating as a child or teenager shouldn't be really serious and should be thought of as emotional experience; not at all sexual. __________________ Playing style: original keys; one hand (three fingers); 1.25 speed imob and ivampire add meh 155-111-173 Shoulda Coulda Woulda Didnt Last edited by f2ppure; 04-4-2009 at 07:17 PM..

05-24-2009, 06:56 PM	#105
Megamanmaniac FFR Veteran Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,248	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating There are certain teens that can handle a relationship the right way and some who cant. Some teens are wanting a relationship for the wrong reason and i believe that you should date at a young age becuase you have your parents that can help you out and talk to you about dating and relationships and such. But not all parents are right about relationships either. Like an example a divorced parent. I believe that teens can date as long as they follow some certain rules like letting the parents know where they are going, what they will be doing, who will be there, when it starts and ends, etc. Maybe even have the parents come along on the first couple dates. Thats my opinion and you can agree or disagree if you want. There are hundreds of opinios out there. __________________ My main account is Elite Ninja now. I did not achieve all these skill tokens. This account is only to play them.

05-26-2009, 02:49 AM	#107
korny It's Saint Pepsi bitch Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, tx Age: 34 Posts: 4,385	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating Izzy, everytime I read one of your posts I feel like my IQ has suffered a serious blow. Teenage dating creates valuable experience. Yes, there are girls who go out with guys and say they're going to get married and break up. This experience, will help them better understand how to approach a relationship the next time in order to avoid becoming so absorbed in the person without really knowing what you're becoming so absorbed in. Dating for the sake of dating when you're young? Why the hell not? What better things do you have to do then to enjoy male/female companionship? Especially at that age besides your current hobbies? Not every single person needs to be dating or is ready for it at that matter. It varies from person to person. To speak on the behalf of all teenagers however, is just impractical.

05-26-2009, 10:12 AM	#108
Izzy Snek Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kansas Age: 34 Posts: 9,192	Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating The thread title says to post my opinion. I am sorry you are to egotistical to let anything but your own thoughts be said. I didn't say every person was stupid with highschool relationships. Sure its possible for a teenager to be mature enough about a relationship, it just isn't that common. Instead of guys and girls forming friendships they form unnecessary drama over relationships that they don't understand aren't serious. It tears people apart, and creates enemies between the kids.

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