choof's shitty dumb review thread for a year or w/e

[popsicle_3000]

interesting. didn't know stoner rock was a thing.

[choof]

same idea as psych but weed and not, well, psyches

[Wayward Vagabond]

two albums in a row. im excited about what you think of both of them

[choof]

wont be able to do full reviews until about wednesday, internet will be down until then

[choof]

I figured I'd be able to download stuff on my way to work using my phone and some intuitive google searching but turns out the data on my phone got capped lmao

internet comes back up on wednesday, tentatively. I'll do wednesday, thursday, and friday on their repsective days (1/7-9), and then on saturday I'll do all of the ones I missed (1/2-6). expect lots of dankerinos.

today though I'll do a derpy ass review of the new death grips instrumental album.

[choof]

Death Grips - Fashion Week (2015)


JENNNYDEATHWHEN.
According to the internet, Jenny Death's release date was like 3 weeks ago. And then New Year's Eve. And now there's an Amazon listing of Jeny Deaf that dates some time in February. I, and like, 95% of the DG fanbase, has no idea what's going on.

BUT WE CAN GATHER FROM THIS INSTRUMENTAL RELEASE THAT DG STILL REALLY LIKES FUCKING WITH THEIR FANBASE. AND THEY DO IT REALLY WELL.

Every track on this album is named "Runway" followed by a letter. In track order, the letters spell out JENNYDEATHWHEN, which has been a meme or whatever for however fucking long it's been since Nigerians On The Moon was released.

Clocking in at 47 minutes, Fashion Week is a glitchy, messy, dark album filled with analog leads and broken-ass-beats. I fucks with this. Honestly, I wasn't a big fan of Death Grips when they came out; there was an element to the band's aesthetic that never really "clicked" with me. Some tracks, like "Get Got" and "Takyon" were stand-out tracks, but beyond a few tracks here and there, I wouldn't have called myself a fan. This was back in 2012, mind you. 2014 was the first year I actually sat down and listened to a DG album in it's entirety, Exmilitary, and I approached it in a different way. And I loved it.

DG has been, and still is, a very very visceral band. But what makes this album notable is that it's a proper instrumental album. All of their albums, aside from Zimbabweans on Mars, were recorded with vocals, and then the instrumentals were released after the original release. Could we see vocals on these tracks eventually? Is this actually Jenny Death without the vocals? Some tracks, such as "Runway Y" and the second "Runway E" sound like they could have been made with vocals in mind, but others, like "Runway T" and the first "Runway E" have themes that make me skeptical.

And that's something neat about this release. With the absence of MC Ride, at least on vocals, the band is able to explore themes further then they have in the past. I don't mean the band has ever been held back by Ride; contrarily, Ride brings one hell of a dynamic that literally cannot be reproduced without him. When compared to the rest of their discography, there are certain elements here that are explored more than in the past. Take "Runway T," for example. A track with warm pads, swarmy leads, and reverb coated percussion. There's a dream-pop vibe to this: the dream-pop title would never be applied to the Death Grip name.

But as a whole, this is definitively Death Grips. The use of dissonance, the chopped up playing of Zach Hill's drums, the grimy and distorted production.

I would be hard pressed to rank this among their other works, because while it is Death Grips, it's not Death Grips. Saying that you like this more than, say, The Money Store or *****s On The Moon, is effectively saying "i fucks with they beats but not they mc u feel me."

Favorite Song - "Runway J"
Least Favorite Song - Second "Runway H"
Tru Rating - 8/10
Step Rating - 6/10

[choof]

oh hey youtube isn't blocked at work
lemme see if the scheduled albums are up there

edit: AH SHIT SON, Scientist Rids The World Of The Evil Curse Of The Vampires IS ON YOUTUBE
review coming in about an hour 8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)8) 8)

[choof]

Scientist - Scientist Rids The World Of The Evil Curse Of The Vampires (1981)


Before we get into this review, let's take a moment to reflect on the evolution of dubstep.
The current iteration of dubstep, with artists such as Excision, Skrillex, Flux Pavilion, etc, is a far cry from how the genre actually started. It's been said that, at some point, people wanted to listen to dub but didn't have powerful enough systems to actually appreciate the sub-bass (which, btw, is thee defining feature of dub and associated genres), so artists such as Benga, Caspa, and Skream started layering their sub-bass with what I like to call "mid-range wankery."

My personal experience with dubstep began around 2010, while I was still in the military. One of my first memories of dubstep was actually Excision's "Shambhala Mix." I eventually showed it to some of my squad mates, and a few, especially my squad leader, loved it. Mid-range is very versatile, so there was a huge selection of tracks that effectively were very different from each other.

But one thing is certain. You strip that mid-range away, you're left with the drums and the sub-bass.
And that, at it's core, is essentially what dub is. But it's so much more than that.

True, or perhaps pure, dub (god that sounds so pretentious) was created around the late 60's as a subgenre of reggae, and stylistically it's still to this day very reminiscent of reggae as a whole. Even albums that were released over 30 years since the start of dub, such as Boxcutter's "Glyphic," have a reggae sound to them, albeit heavily futuristic at the same time.

"Scientist Rids The World Of The Evil Curse Of The Vampires," released in 1981, is no different. The source material for all of the songs are from reggae groups such as Wailing Souls. I haven't listened to the originals, but I imagine that they're inherently different enough to not warrant tracking down the originals.

My extent into the true dub realm (even more pretentious god what is wrong with me) extends to artists such as Kryptic Minds... and that's pretty much it. So while I can appreciate this album as a whole and the concept behind it, some tracks work and some tracks don't. "Dance of the Vampires," is a groovy song with an assortment of guitar licks and percussion, a great bass line, and some wonderful vocals to set the overall mood. "The Mummy Shroud," another diggable-as-fuck song with some fantastic delay-coated horn work, starts with Scientist growling "DIS IS DA CURSE OF DA MUMMY HA HA" in his best evil Jamaican villain impression, coming off as comical. But some tracks, such as the opener "The Voodoo Curse," over stay their welcome with... well, repetitive beats.

Maybe this the fault of the source material, maybe this is just due to the nature of dub music itself. But this was a fairly solid album, with some great and some not-so-great songs. But one thing is certain: DAT BASSLINE, said after every song.

Favorite Song - "The Mummy's Shroud"
Least Favorite Song - "The Voodoo Curse"
Tru Rating - 6.5/10
Step Rating - 1/10

[Deadlyx39]

Oh hey look, 4000 posts for choof.

[choof]

okay, so
I'm removing all BOTDF albums from the list, due to numerous statutory rape allegations, not to mention the cringeworthy vids on youtube of their live shows (dude's 30 years old asking an audience of preteens for their hello kitty bras I am not making this shit up)

I'll review one album today to appease the dream meme team

their are now 5 empty slots that need to be filled, I'll take one recommendation from 5 people, gogogo

[Kraezymann]

Angina P. - Sensitive Files

EDIT: Also congrats on your 4k posts

[EzExZeRo7497]

Harmonium - Si On Avait Besoin D'une Cinquième Saison

[Wayward Vagabond]

Neal Morse - A Proggy Christmas

[AutotelicBrown]

Pink Floyd - Echoes
Rush - 2112
TOHO JAZZ MESSENGERS - girls apartment 2

I guess Rush would have priority as suggestion

[choof]

2112 is already on there, there's two pink floyd albums too so I'll do the toho jazz one

[choof]

BOTDF - It's Hard To Be A Diamond In A Rhine Stone World (2008)


For the last two reviews, I've found that it's way more fun to listen to an album attentively first, and listen to it a second time, skipping around while writing the review.

But given the repetitive nature of the first 5 tracks, I'm just going to assume tha- oh god he just said "i got you wetter than hurricane katrina." I'm on "Mosh and Roll" at the moment. There really aren't words for this. This is a slow, crunk no wait this is crunkcore. This has got to be a seminal crunkcore track. That guitar chug or riff or whatever, he just referenced tootsie pops in regards to his dick.

HMM BABY I GOTTA GET jesus fucking christ this song is so bad. He's having an existiential crisis during the chorus. That's the only way you can justify the nails-on-chalkboard approach to his screaming. HE'S DOING IT AGAIN.
WHEN WILL THIS FUCKNING END OH MY GODSASAAAAAAAAAASFDASDFJAHKLDF

http://www.reddit.com/r/cringe/comme...rage_audience/

The ending of this track is effectively unlistenable. There are two instances of his rapping, along with screams, and oh hey next track thank god.

"Suicide Club" oh wow this is like cheese from the 80s. This one's kinda, KINDA tolerable, at least so far. FL studio presets: the album. Wait nevermind. "Dying is the latest fashion, well dying is the main attraction."

He just said "I'm dead inside." Me too, Dahvie. Me too.

Okay, intermission while I look up the lyrics for a "song" from earlier in the album. Found em. Hey this high-pass wait fuck they ruined that too.

Can't stop the tickles.
They call me Dr. Giggles.
It's o-o-o-off the chizzle
Fo' shizzle dizzle
I'm bangin' with the b-o-t-o-dizzle
With wiffles
'Cause I dribble like I'm rubbing on nipples.
Gotta get out the pickle
Make it rain with the ripples.
Let my, candy rum trickle
Get you buzzed with double triples.
Getting head, in rentals
Avoiding the parentals.
This is ghetto, plain and simple
With the down beat tempo.

ON AND ON AND ON AND ON
WE CAN'T GO ON

snippets of these emo lyrics wholeheartedly apply to me when listening to this assault on my ears. outro. okay now "miss bipolar"

wait WAITWAIT IS THIS IS THIS
oh my god what the fuck is this
WHAT SITH IS

'THE BEST PART OF FIGHTING I THE MAKEUPS SEX'

so far this album has ranged from societal issues such as sex, sex, suicide, and... now sex again.
brilallaint, absoltuely braillitn

acoustic section, who's playing guitar

now that I think about it, instrumentally this song isn't all that bad. I mean, there are still instances of fl studio presets, like this godforsaken lead that's happening right now, but there are RAEL INSTURMENTS and RAELSGUITARSS

song over, ok now it's "Siq with a q" grate song name grate intro bleep bloop THAT FUCKING TOM OR COWBELL OR WHATEVER
holy shit pls stop
it's not stopping
it's not stopping
it's not stopping
it's not stopping


okay I need to go start a stored procedure in sql so I will be right back please hold on for a moment


MYSPACE BLOG REFERENCE, THE TRUE PINNACLE OF THE SCENE... SCENE

that fucking crash cymbal, I've used that in the speedcore I was making the year this album came out. "i'm so siq i'll make u vomit go ahead and leave ur comments"

now we're on "up all night"
that synth swell was discontinued in fl 10 I think, I think kommi used that in his speedcore album as well lmaooo holy shit

"nothing you can do"
dahvie, i could easily turn this album off right now and make grandiose assumptions on the content of the rest of the album

ironically, the chorus of himself multiple times saying something like "we are the youth you are the rules we'll break through nothing you can do" is the most profound thing he's said on the whole album. since this song is tolerable there's really not much to say about it so I'll find more lyrics

Originally Posted by cavernio

Take me out, take me out
Take the bottles, pop 'em out
My heart is racing, feet are pacing
This fucking place is dissipating
You know it's true, me and you
Gimme gimme more on the dance floor

Stop, drop, make it roll
Turn around, what the hell
Go real fast, break it down
Do it 'til you touch the ground
Want it slick, want it sure?
Bitch, I know you want some more
Dance with me and you will see
What a different place this world can be

song over oh hey this is a generic fl studio remix of what i can only assume is WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS HAPPENENING

brb ripping my ears out

this one has Actually Real Girl Vocal Samples oh my fucking god I still have 20 mintues to go

Lexus Rebelle3 months ago (edited)

"i'll got you wetter then hurricane Katrina".....uh..... I get why people don't like them now but that line just makes me laugh LOL

Ciel Porter5 months ago

Omg your a monster like me!! XD luvs it! Xoxoxoxo 3
SGTC FOREVER!

Regan Shelton11 months ago

when i hear this i want to scream rawr and wave my arms and belly (like a belly dancer ) 


Caitlyn Glowania1 year ago

Omg some peoples comments! He made mistakes and he knows that! I love BOTDF if my emo friend didn't tell me about them I will having to go to a mental hospital... Botdf changed my life soooooooooooooo much! I love them and always will! So smd and im a Fucking monster! #sgtc


the last two songs on this album are "epic" abnd "lawlz


i'm done, i'm fuckning donee

Favorite Song - " Slash Gash Terror Crew Anthem!" because it's fucking like a minute long or something
Least Favorite Song - "ALL OF THEM"
Tru Rating - 2/10
Step Rating - n/10

[Toxophilis]

brilallaint, absoltuely braillitn

[choof]

maaaan, I just lost my review for Tom Waits - Heartattack and Vine ;~;
will rewrite it up in a bit, really great album though

[rayword45]

You will lose a lot of reviews. Get used to it.

[choof]

nah I'll write them in notepad