Overwhelming Anger Issue Advice Please :(

[Phynx]

Just a quick backstory to what I need help with. I've recently been having to deal with very unhealthy levels of anger for two reasons. First, my job, normal for some but I work in my fathers cropdusting business and do great there except for the fact that him and I never see eye to eye about how to do things and it has been causing us a LOT of inter-work contention.

Secondly, and here's the bad one, one of my older brothers, who I've done everything in my power to remove from my life due to his persistent heavy drug use and endless counts of illegal activity, has come back to my town and started causing a lot of problems with my parents.

I hold a LOT of love and respect for my family, especially the parents, and to see them suffer this fool after all they've already done for him and and still more after all he's done to us, my anger levels are so high now that I've contemplated killing the man. I've been dreaming about it and every time I see this mans face I shake and sweat from pure rage. I've made the decision to stay away from my parents place until he's back in prison or dead and it hurts me to do so because I love my parents and they don't deserve the pain he's putting them through but my temper has shorted out for the last time and I can't handle it anymore.

I've considered seeing a therapist but around here, we don't have any. We have pharmacists who only prescribe pills to everyone with a personal problem by calling it a mental disorder. We don't have any "sit down and let's talk" type of therapists anymore. I lost another older brother late last year to those "crazy pills" after they prescribed him three different types of them. He died due to the direct impact they had on his mind.

So my question friends, what else can I do to cull this mountain of rage to prevent me from doing something unthinkable and hurting my family even more?

I'm even considering selling my house and the bigger part of my possessions to get out of debt and move far, far away so I can leave my anger in this town and start happy and fresh somewhere else.

[dAnceguy117]

Be sure to let your parents know how you feel. If they knew that you felt a compulsion to act violently toward your brother, they would completely understand why you would want to stay away.

Originally Posted by Phynx

I'm even considering selling my house and the bigger part of my possessions to get out of debt and move far, far away so I can leave my anger in this town and start happy and fresh somewhere else.

That was going to be my first suggestion. The house seems like a huge investment, so it's not something to take lightly. Getting far away could be well worth it, however.

Here's a site I just found from a quick search:
http://stress.lovetoknow.com/Anger_Management_Hotlines

Find all the resources you can, and try to utilize them to the fullest.

Good luck, man! If you have time, check back in here anytime you need someone to talk to.

[mi40]

getting out of your town and moving somewhere else is the best option
not just to solve your problems, but for your future as well
(moving out of family business is a good option)

[Phynx]

Originally Posted by dAnceguy117

Be sure to let your parents know how you feel. If they knew that you felt a compulsion to act violently toward your brother, they would completely understand why you would want to stay away.



That was going to be my first suggestion. The house seems like a huge investment, so it's not something to take lightly. Getting far away could be well worth it, however.

Here's a site I just found from a quick search:
http://stress.lovetoknow.com/Anger_Management_Hotlines

Find all the resources you can, and try to utilize them to the fullest.

Good luck, man! If you have time, check back in here anytime you need someone to talk to.

I hadn't even bothered with looking online for solutions and advice to help my situation. Thanks a lot DG, I'm gonna check into this and be sure, I'll probably be on here talking and ranting a lot. It's about all I can do to maintain my composure in high stress situations anymore. As well, my mother is so sensitive right now and so emotionally fragile from losing my her son last year and now my other older brother is causing all this frustration and pain, it'd cause her to collapse if she knew I didn't want to come around. I'm going to talk with my dad tomorrow about this and let him know what I'm thinking because for me, this is out of hand and I can't personally handle the emotions anymore. Almost 10 years of dealing with this mans unforgiving worthlessness and drugs and problems has caused a severe embitterment towards his being from me.

Originally Posted by mi40

getting out of your town and moving somewhere else is the best option
not just to solve your problems, but for your future as well
(moving out of family business is a good option)

Agreed. Don't get me wrong, being in this business is wonderful for the fact that I know what I'm doing, I get pain very well for doing it and the benefits are endless simply because I'm family. But the struggles I have to deal with are mounding and my mental state is crumbling. This is my 9th year of working for him and it may very well be my last. This all sucks. >.<

[Hakulyte]

Talking to your parents about it is the only obvious intelligent move. Moving out because of feelings may trade problems for other problems. Talking is win/win. Confrontation > Compromise. /psychology

Edit: meh, I should read thread before posting /good advice DG

[Phynx]

Originally Posted by Hakulyte

Talking to your parents about it is the only obvious intelligent move. Moving out because of feelings may trade problems for other problems. Talking is win/win. Confrontation > Compromise. /psychology

This is exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow. Sadly my expectations are sour about the results that may come of it. My mother, being the unbelievably caring person she is, has too big of a heart and won't stop trying to help my brother. She won't take what I have to say into much consideration because she wouldn't know what to do with it. My dad has a lot better time listening to me and understanding but he himself likes to treat me like a child sometimes and so I think when I voice my concern, he'll just get upset and treat it like a childs unnecessary anger. I'm afraid I'll be blown off by my parents, which doesn't usually happen, but it can. I'm praying it doesn't because I'm at the ultimatum point with my parents over my brother. Either he is permanently gone, either to prison or dead, or I refuse come see them because that will put me into close proximity of that man and my actions are becoming too much to control anymore.

[redsea]

I don't have any advice for you, as everyone has pretty much said all I was going to say, but I want to wish you the best of luck with all of this. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. God gives difficult situations to people he thinks are capable of handling them. He will give you strength if you trust in him. Faith got me through Minor head problems not too long ago, and It could help you too. If you are not religious all of the above suggestions are great!

[dAnceguy117]

All you can do is give it your best attempt. If your parents are on the same page, that's fantastic. If not, you can always try calling periodically. Bottom line: you can't control the way your parents will react.

Avoiding an incident with your brother should be your main priority, I think.

[Phynx]

Originally Posted by redsea

I don't have any advice for you, as everyone has pretty much said all I was going to say, but I want to wish you the best of luck with all of this. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. God gives difficult situations to people he thinks are capable of handling them. He will give you strength if you trust in him. Faith got me through Minor head problems not too long ago, and It could help you too. If you are not religious all of the above suggestions are great!

I'm personally not a religious man myself but any bit of support helps. Just knowing I have people to turn for venting and assistance gives me a lot towards my peace of mind. Thank you

Originally Posted by dAnceguy117

All you can do is give it your best attempt. If your parents are on the same page, that's fantastic. If not, you can always try calling periodically. Bottom line: you can't control the way your parents will react.

Avoiding an incident with your brother should be your main priority, I think.

Exactly. I'll do all I can to convey my personal suffering to them but if it's second class citizens issues to them then I'm going to forge a new road for myself which will include working on selling almost everything so I can move away, hopefully maybe even go to school for electrical engineering or zoology like I've dreamed about. Heh, anything is great, just as long as it's out of this valley.

[adlp]

go to taco johns, youre lucky enough you have one in IF