My depersonalization over the last year

[welsh_girl]

Good luck bro

[popsicle_3000]

if you're thinking about pills to help, things like that, go see a doctor lol.
people suggesting tramadol, etc... wow. not the place to get medical advice here hehe

[dore]

stay strong man. get to that detox facility as soon as possible, but stay with people until then. you're gonna be better off if you have a support system around you and don't have access to any of that shit.

[korny]

Originally Posted by popsicle_3000

if you're thinking about pills to help, things like that, go see a doctor lol.
people suggesting tramadol, etc... wow. not the place to get medical advice here hehe

He said he didn't want to take the painkillers offered to him, and it is safe to assume he was offered the more widely known highly abusable strong opioid receptor agonists. (Hydrocodone, morphine, codeine, hydromorphone, etc.) If the pain (which is not chronic) is enough to make things unbearable, I see no reason to suggest tramadol, a significantly weaker opioid agonist that is known to be less abused. In order to get the euphoria equivalent to one of the former, one would have to take a lot more of them at once. Like, A LOT more. I would hope for someone like smitty who has obviously shown addictive tendencies with substances that he is trying to overcome, that feeling the need to pop 10+ pills would be a clear indicator that you are addicted to something you had not intended to be, and while I wouldn't necessarily put it past smitty to succumb to eating a copious amount of pills to fuel an addiction, I would find it less likely that it would be the case as it is a synthetic opioid meaning non-narcotic, which was specifically intended to target pain while not being abused.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Originally Posted by dAnceguy117

you can be with people a lot of the time, though. sounds like you're doing that about as much as possible already, which should be a great thing. I'd say look for any opportunity to replace time alone with time spent around people.



good choice & good choice

Yeah i'm still spending a lot of time with people definitely my friends and my gf when she gets off work. It's cool getting her son on the bus each morning it's an extra responsibility that i need right now it's just tough when there is idle time like right now. Finding more to do is on my priorities list still. haha i love sausage buscuits only the buttermilk kind though not jimmy dean.

Originally Posted by Spenner

Good to hear about the lego set, kids fucking love those (I know I did, was the best thing ever). The mental part of the battle is in your hands, and I think you can do a good job at confronting temptation and giving it a big cold shove.

ps: headshop kratom likely has synthetic drugs or at least a super high extract of the main alkaloids, and is generally shit quality; judging on the fact that you see those cartridges laying around (those are nitrous cartridges) it's kids/teenagers getting a legal buzz with whatever means they can. That is really sad to see actually. Butye, I'm definitely with you on the drug-free end of thing. Before you do anything that has psychoactive properties just take a moment to reflect and imagine the consequences of doing so later on.

The withdrawl seems rough, I think there's definitely some residual depersonalization that will remain there until you are really at your peak performance. The dissociated phase is grounds for symptoms of many other things (mood swings, irrational anxieties, twisted perceptions), like I've mentioned before, if you disconnect yourself from those, and pretend it's almost like your mind is watching a movie, it shouldn't be too hard to remember it's an effect that is not you, yourself doing.

A lot of people act on irrational compulsions because they cannot tell themselves that it is not them who wishes to do x and x, but they tend to give a description of a more schizophrenic outline (despite whether or not it is. They might be a very strongly faithed person and think it is a God who is generating the irrational thoughts).

Anyhow no need for me to ramble about that too much because your head seems to be good and well, but practising sorting through the bad thoughts and trying to get rid of them is always good, and/or reshaping them into positive ones.

Yeah man i had a lot of legos when i was young it's all i did was play legos and draw. He seems obsessed with them for right now so i didn't mind buying that. His mom says as long as he is off the mindcrack she's content. I constantly told her he seemed a little young for mindcraft so she took away his kindle and bought the wii. Addictions man!
And yeah i'm staying away from that kratom i definitely feel a bit of depersonalization lingering and cloudy thinking off and on still wondering when it's going to fade completely. Just keeping busy with anything and everything i can.

Thank you dore and welsh girl hangin in there.



Little update. Eating better but still thinking about herbal incense the same amount. I tried to talk to high tyde yesterday night and he thought i was a police officer and didnt want to say anything.. so i wasted 2 dollars on a bridge toll, not ever going back there. It's official that whatever is going on there is just downright illegal right now so nothing else to say about that.
Staying busy with drawing and reading a bit. I bought 'Xenocide' by orson scott card. Pretty good so far third book in the Ender's game series if anyone wants to read. My cigarette consumption has dropped to like 10 cigs a day which is insane and my breathing is getting better.
Spice makes you cough up black and green shit and that stopped as well. The health improvements are making me feel so good physically but i still want to abuse inside. Maybe treatment can help me really get to the bottom of why that feeling is there. Going to check out the center tomorrow and make sure they offer a good well-balanced program.

[samurai7694]

It's great to see that there is some improvement in health. I did notice you smoking cigs when we skype'd several days ago but at the moment I thought well, it's not spice... I think it's nice that you're lowering cigarette consumption as well. Keep it up!

[Spenner]

Move to an ecig when you can manage~ even better. But the progress so far is good, keep up up. If you have the discipline to be as good as you are at FFR you can discipline yourself for this shit~

Also it's good to hear he's sucking time into lego, part of the reason my mind is the way it is today is because of hours of engineering elaborate plots and creative devices with the lego sets I'd been given. Maybe even issue him a challenge sometime. Say "make yourself a dream house" or something of the sort. I always enjoyed those kinds of activities.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

I recently bought one of those MatchFree™ smoke pens and they work well i just have to get used to hitting it and i need to find a spot to buy re-fills. Hits more harsh than a hookah honestly. Ffr discipline is not comparable to getting clean from spice. I am doing this because i thought that i was going to die soon, which i most likely was because i had giant lumps in my forehead and temples that were not supposed to be there.
I think they came from the awkward skull pressures. Dude i'm stoked he is into lego he only plays with the ninjago and city sets right now but once he gets more into it i will give him challenges because it's hard to build much with ninjago. A lot of the pieces are move-able joint connections. I can see why it expanded your mind i feel the same about my own i literally spent 7-8 hours a day building lego / erectorset / knex shit.

[Syhto]

You don't need to see a doctor don't forget to PM me : ) Much love for everyone here, also quitting smoking cigs would be a revolution for your body lol.

[T-Force]

Smitty, I've never talked to you, nor you me, but reading this thread and everyone's responses has given me the motivation to also say words of encouragement.
Good luck kicking your addiction fully, and it's excellent that you've been able to keep this progress up.
As well, thanks for the constant updates; I'm sure others will agree when we say it's great to hear about your progress.

Best of luck!

[Razor]

hope everything's okay bryan <3

you can do it

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Hello and thank you i went to the recovery center yesterday (it's 1:20 am here) and they did not offer what i wanted. It was religion based entirely and i knew that from the point i walked in. A disappoint but i am starting to believe i can kick this on my own if i keep at it i think i have been doing great. I only worry that medical supervision is supposed to be a thing to have while withdrawing from spice.
The concerns about why i still think about it are there too, but i'm making it, one day and step at a time.

[FoJaR]

http://virginiabeachna.org/

[DossarLX ODI]

Smitty hasn't posted in this thread in 4 days so I'm assuming he is busy with other things on his mind. Regardless, stay strong.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Important update that is the cure for this cancer. As of tonight at midnight all herbal incense at every outlet available for purchase must be removed from the shelves / cases in the state of Virginia. I have been crying for everyone all day, because now they can all be free again. When i called the outeredge/hightyde/hpt/magictime shops, they have all said they no longer are selling it or will ever be selling it.
I do feel a bit sorry for what is to come for the zombies, this shit is still kicking my ass withdrawal wise. What else.. oh yeah i guess tomorrow at 6 they are doing some report on herbal incense on channel 3 so that furthers the severity of the situation. I have still been keeping productive i signed up for a second class of arc and MIG welding and a forklifting class just because i have always wanted to learn so i'm excited for that! Everything just feels so real again in my mind, forgive me for not posting at all recently.
Other than physical aches and pains (which suck so fucking bad), and thinking about smoking, i feel about 60% better.

[DossarLX ODI]

Smitty that is incredible to hear. It's about time this shit stops ruining peoples' lives, and you've been handling withdrawal like a boss. I hope you have a good time with those classes too!

[Cavernio]

Oh WOW! That's amazing really! The system might actually work.

Glad my other guess was totally unfounded...I should delete it.

[qqwref]

Originally Posted by XXXsmittyXXX

Important update that is the cure for this cancer. As of tonight at midnight all herbal incense at every outlet available for purchase must be removed from the shelves / cases in the state of Virginia. I have been crying for everyone all day, because now they can all be free again. When i called the outeredge/hightyde/hpt/magictime shops, they have all said they no longer are selling it or will ever be selling it.
I do feel a bit sorry for what is to come for the zombies, this shit is still kicking my ass withdrawal wise.

Wow! That's really great to hear, I hope people who are using it can get back on track. Really nice to hear you've been doing better too, I think everyone here is wishing the best for you

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Good morning. Just ate some breakfast and i loved it and then i started thinking about spice and now i'm shaking and panic-like.. how is this even possible. I'm still really frustrated and i feel anger at even the smallest stimulus it's like one day is great the next is un-realistic. Feeding my mind with videos is seeming to help at the moment so i'll share a few random ones that were worth bookmarking and trust me i have seen a lot of them these are horrible

Yeah i don't like this one.

And i'll post the video description to this next one so you don't have to click outside. Reading it made me feel really fortunate i have only been on it a year and i'm nothing like this, how could his wife even want to stay for as long as she did.

"This is Daniel. Daniel and I have been.. were.. married for 7 years. I've known Daniel for 11 years. I have 2 children with him. Daniel is addicted to synthetic marijuana. Daniel could not go two hours total without having to use more synthetic marijuana. Without the synthetic marijuana Daniel would get very sick and also hostile. Every penny we had went towards his abuse not only hurting himself but also me and my children. Daniel was not always like this. Synthetic Marijuana has unknown chemicals in it that have been told to cause permanent psychosis along with hallucinations and sickness. The label clearly states not for human consumption but today anyone will do anything to get themselves high. Daniel was not strong enough to stop his addiction and in doing such, lost himself, me and his two children along with his life. He now lives with his mother whom enables him, rent free and living paycheck to paycheck. He lost his life and everything that was good in it. This is one example of how he made the choice to loose his family. THIS along with many numerous other occasions along with getting arrested, led me to leave. There were also times far worse than this occasion in which Daniel would go into a psychotic mode and at points not at all make sense, roll his eyes for minutes and speak about things that never happened or were impossible.
I'm putting this on here for anyone that has this problem with someone they love and care about. Sure, synthetic marijuana could be worse. it could be meth.. right? But your wrong. An addiction is an addiction.. Run while you can. I waited for him to get better for more than 4 years.. it only got worse. Even with my counseling, rehabs, jail, hiding money.. Just.. run. Save yourself and your children."

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Good morning. I'm feeling at an all time low right now and it's time for a last resort. Spenner i am going to go buy kratom at high tyde. They would not give me info over the phone but they include pamphlets so i will post some information on it after i purchase.
You get like 15 grams of 50X kratom for 30 bucks or they have capsules i think i'm going to make tea out of it since the tea form is supposed to really help opiate withdrawal. Guys.. why just why