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Old 07-12-2009, 05:39 AM   #1
dragonmegaXX
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Default New story

Part 1:
http://catarus.deviantart.com/art/Dr...rt-1-126104870

part 2:
http://catarus.deviantart.com/art/Dr...er-2-129194711

Im really proud of myself. Part 1 is reeeeally shaky and if you dont like it, I can see why, but I started putting my heart into part too, and I only started writing because I wanted to try to fill the void of never been being able to draw, no matter how much I practiced.
I like this more though, writing fits me.

Its exactly 3981 words between the 2 parts, and once school comes back, Ill be writing more than ever, dont know why, I just love writing during school.
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Old 07-12-2009, 05:42 AM   #2
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Default Re: New story

nice work keep it up
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Old 07-12-2009, 05:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: New story

Thanks.
Now I need motivation to get my lazy ass to write prt 3 -..-"
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Old 07-12-2009, 06:08 AM   #4
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Default Re: New story

I used to do a lot of writing myself mostly when I was in school I should start doing it again
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Old 07-13-2009, 09:55 AM   #5
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Default Re: New story

Engaging. Keep it up.
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Old 07-14-2009, 11:26 AM   #6
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Default Re: New story

If you would kindly post it in the thread, I might give it a read.
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


My new novel:

Maledictions: The Offering.

Now in Paperback!
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:14 PM   #7
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Default Re: New story

While Mal is also an author, he has the disability of not being able to understand links.
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:16 PM   #8
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Default Re: New story

Also I didn't technically read it, but the use of at least two ellipsis per line made me cringe.
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:36 PM   #9
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Default Re: New story

Quote:
Originally Posted by MalReynolds View Post
If you would kindly post it in the thread, I might give it a read.
Chapter 1


I had just logged onto deviantart, in order to look at all the talented artists. I loved looking at great art, thinking of the skill it took, and time it required. I really liked pictures of dragons, like Cynder from the spyro series.
"Damn that looks nice." I whispered to myself. I had never been able to draw, unfortunately. It seemed that my talent layed with the pen and paper, able to make backround stories and set up scenes for any pictures I saw.
School had just let out 3 weeks ago, and I could already feel boredom setting in.
"Heh, it's going to be a rough couple of months if nothing happens."
Sure, the computer was fun and all, but you could only do so much.
After 30 minutes or so of picture surfing, I turned off my PC and plopped on my bed in the same room. I began to stare at my ceiling, contemplating my decisions in life, like I did everyday it seemed now.
I was one awkward kid, that was for sure. I was the only 15 year old white guy I knew who listened to rave and trance music, other then the occasional furry at my school. I could consider myself a furry to, but I lacked many qualities, so I contented myself with being borderline.
I didn't have to many friends, which wasn't to much of a bad thing for me, as I liked to be alone most of the time. It wasnt to surprising either, with all the rumors about me that went around school, such as being a nut for dragons, believing they were real and such. It counteracted all of the good looks I had and made life difficult, but I managed.
"Heh...They can think whatever...."
I yawned, and eventually succumbed to sleep from the mid-day heat of the house.
.....
.....
.....
*Evan*.....
......*Evan*......
I felt my name being whispered in a whispy feminine tone. Then a cold wind whipped my body, and I immediately snapped up.
I was on a high plateau, the skies above stormy and dark.
I stood up as large rain began pelting me, stinging my eyes.
*Evan*....
The voice called again, radiating warmth through my body, if only momentarily.
"Weird...." I had been having the same dream for the past several days, and I hadnt thought much of it, but this was the first time I had heard a voice.
I desperately looked around for the source of the voice, the rain the wind trying to knock me over.
I couldnt see anything. I opened my mouth to try to call to the voice, but a vicious lightning bolt CRACKED and flashed not 10 feet in front of me, the intense heat and air pressure knocking me on my back, smashing my head on the solid rock, and I blacked out....
*Evan....The time is almost here...*

Part 2:
I lurched forward, bile forming in my mouth. I was back in my bed, which was now covered in sweat, and the covers and pillows knocked off. My eyes were wide open as I shook uncontrollably.
"G-God....What in the hell....." I tried turning my head, only to be greeted with shattering pain.
"Ow!" I howled, It was as if the dream was real.
I went downstairs holding the back of my head in my palm as I got some water to help ease the taste in my mouth, and took some pain killers. I looked at the clock.
"2:45...I have a few hours..." I said, referring to my mom returning from work. I sat on my couch and then worry finally began to set in.
"What in the hell is going on...Theres no way that was just a dream..." I said as I touched the back of my head again, wincing as the pain returned. There was NO way pain could carry over from a dream as real as that and just be a coincidence...
I began running through the dream in my head, recounting the details.
"Who was that talking...Her voice...isnt familiar..." I thought.
I finally recalled what she had said at the end of the dream.
"The time is almost here....What the heck does that mean?!" I said, groaning...Sure my life was pretty boring, but at least it was safe and I knew what was going on..Now I wasnt so sure...
It was then that the phone rang, breaking me out of my fear induced trance.
The caller ID said it was Alex, one of the few friends that I did have.
'Hello?" I said irritabally, not wanting to talk after everything that just happened.
"Yo man, was wanting to see what you were doing later today, I havent seen you since summer started and I got 100$ to spend at the arcade. You wanna come?" He said
"One sec dude." I replied. I had to think.
*Is it really safe for me to be doing anything?...* I thought to myself, the final words of the dream getting to me.
I fumbled in my mind for a bit, then finally decided to give it a chance. Maybe I could find out something about my dream if I was lucky...
"Uh...sure...what time do you wanna meet?"
"Lets do....7:00. That cool with you?"
"Sure..."
"Ok, see you then...By the way, are you feeling all right? You dont sound to good." Alex said concerned.
I certainly didnt want anyone knowing about what happened, so I quickly lied.
"Oh yeah, just a bit tired. Ill see you later" I said, trying to sound happier.
After exchanging byes, I hung up and paced in my living room.
"Somethings REALLY weird...." I said. I felt like there was a presence in the air not usually there.
I gave up and finally tried to relax for a while and watch some TV.

Part 3:
"Ill see you later mom."
I shut the door behind me as I left my house. It was a bit hard convincing my mom to let me go, as she felt I as a teenager I should spend more time with her, but in the end, I won the argument, and the right to go.
As I was walking down my stairs, I noticed that the sky was unusually pink, and that the air the really muggy, but I assumed it was just summer kicking in and thought nothing of it.
I managed to push the days events to the back of my head, out of range. I started jogging quickly, afraid to be late to the arcade a couple miles away. I wanted to keep the friendships I DID have in tact, so I made a point to show up on time to all occasions. As I breezed by my neighborhood, I took in all the nature suburbia had to offer, as little as it was. Nature brought a smile to my face, I always felt that if I was alone in the mountains or the woods I would be able to manage myself.
Time seemed to stand still as I ran, the sound of ever-passing cars non-existant for the first time in ages, and the birds chirping had ceased. It was almost an erie quiet, but I didnt notice this, set on getting the the arcade. I didnt even realize it when the sky began to darken, and large cumulonimbus clouds began forming, bringing with it strong winds. I only began to notice when the first drop of rain hit my face, and only then did I stop for a moment to take note of my surroundings. I was on the sidewalk in front of an out of the way gas station, which for the first time as I saw it didnt have any cars in its parking lot. I looked up and saw the storm clouds above, and all of the memories flooded back to me at once. The dreams, the voice, everything came back in a huge torrent. It felt like I was being punch in the gut, and the pain in the back of my head, gone for hours, flared again, a rush of agony falling across my body as I doubled over gasping.
"Gah...Grr....." Grunting, I attempted miserably to fight back the pain and rushing memories, but it was almost as if they were alive, and once they felt my resistance, multiplied in strength, knocking me out immediatly.....

Part 4:
*Evan....Evan, wake up....*
It was the voice again.
The sound of it brought rage up inside of me, making me jump to my feet. I was at the same place of my dream, only there was no rain or wind, only darkness making it hard to see anything.
"Who are you?!?" I shouted angrily.
*You will find out soon enough Evan...*
"Thats bull! I want to know who you are and what the hells going on!"
I heard the voice giggle, like she had heard a joke.
*My, you're a feisty human. I guess I can tell you some of what you're asking*
I was dumbfounded by the voice referring to me as a human.
"Feisty human? Are you saying you're not a human?!"
Again she chuckled.
*I wont be able to answer all these questions if you keep firing them at me...Now as for the one you just asked, no, I'm not a human...as for whats going on...you've been chosen by our elders....As for what yo-*
"Ive been CHOSEN? I didnt ask for any kind of recognition or whatever your 'leaders' chose me for....I dont WANT anything to do with you...whatever you are..." I interrupted.
She laughed then, a full deep laugh that seemed to make my body shake.
*You really are something...You claim to everyone around you how much you love us and how bad you want to find one of us, and when you finally do, you just throw a tantrum about it all.*
"Wait a minute..." I thought about what she was saying...she COULDNT be referring to...
"You cant be....You're a......" I couldnt bring myself to say it.
*A dragon? You really are quite slow, even for a human...*
It was then that a blinding light pierced the darkness in front of me, almost appearing to eat it away.
When I was finally able to open my eyes, the look of the plateau had changed from pute darkness, to the look of about midday, clear blue sky and all.
I looked around, and nearly fainted when I saw what was behind me.
" OH MY GOD!!!" I screamed.
In front of me was a dragoness, glorious in appearence. she must have been at least 30 feet tall, even on all fours, and 50 feet from maw to tail.
Her scales were a bright gold, shimmering with the suns rays reflecting off them in all directions. She was smiling, which revealed her teeth, making me gulp in fear. She could easily chew me to a pulp, bones included with those daggers. Her razor talons also made me fear making her mad.
Apparently she saw I was distressed, and laughed again, while she lowered herself into a laying position, covering her claws, making her appear less ferocious, trying to make me feel more comfortable, as impossible as that was right now.
I was in heaven. All of my life, I had idolized all of dragon-kind, praying to meet one, and even wishing I was one, and now, standing her before me.....It was all to much for me!!
*Are you ok? You look like you might die* She said, snickering.
My eyebrows twitched as I noticed she talked without her mouth moving.
"You talk through telepathy?"
"When it's more convenient for me" She said, using her real voice, which made small tremors in the ground from the vibrations. Her voice was like music to my ears, making my body feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Before I got to caught up though, I remember what had been going on, and quickly got back on the defensive.
"So, what do you want with me..."
*Is it true that you sometimes wished to be a dragon?* She said.
My heart rose to near death levels, as I hoped that she might have a way of making this into a reality.
"Uh-...uhm...Yes, why, can you do that?"
*Heh...dont get too caught up. I dont have the ability to do that, perhaps our elders do. I only wanted to know if you trusted dragons...*
"Yes, with my life..." I said, mildy dissapointed but not shocked by her answer.
*Then hold all of your questions...Our elders will hopefully answer all of your questions.*
"O-...Ok...., But what about Earth, what about my life there?"
*I dont know about your future there...All I know is that all humans memories of you have been erased for now...*
"Oh...Ok...So what now?"
*Get on my back, Ill take you to the clan.*
I got really excited as I climbed her tail spines and nestled myself between 2 of her back spikes.
*Hold on tight, Ive never flown with a human...*
"Ok..."
It was then that I realized something.
"Oh! Hey!"
*What is it?*
"You never told me your name"
*I guess I didnt...It's Akera*
"Akera..." I liked the name.
I finally acknowledged the tiredness that I felt, and was quickly lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sounds of Akeras wings.




Chapter 2:
"You cant do this!!!"
My eyes cracked open....I felt disoriented and didnt recognize my surroundings...
I looked around, and noticed I was in a pitch black hallway, with absolutely no light except very dim lanterns on both sides of the hall walls, which still didnt allow enough light for me to see my hand in front of my face.
"Fool! Do you not know what he has done?!"
My heart jumped. The voice boomed through my body, a male dragon by my guess, but extremely powerful.I turned around and noticed a glimmer of golden light far off, and I started wobbling towards it, feeling sick to my stomach.
"I know, I know!! But please! I love him!!!"
"Akera...." I whispered under my breath. I recognized her voice easily. I tried to quicken my pace, desperate to see what was going on.
"You're willing to endanger us all for his sake?!"
Quicker...Quicker...Quicker...
"Father....I know he betrayed us....but please! Dont do this to him!!"
She sounded like she was choked up. I was getting close to the light, and I noticed that the light was coming from a crack under a pair of enormous double doors, made of solid gold, and easily 50 feet tall each. I felt the doors, then put my ear to them, only to hear a deafening roar. After my head stopped ringing, I tried to refocus.
"He cant remain here! If our people learned of his acts, they would demand worse than what im suggesting. Daughter, I understand your feelings, but my decision is final."
I felt tremors go through my body like miniature earthquakes. I assumed it was Akeras father walking.
"Father! Stay away from him! I wont let you!!!"
"Move now! Its time to remo-....."
He stopped mid sentence. After about a minute of silence, I was wondering what was going on, when the double doors swung open with vicious force, causing a gale from just the sheer energy, making me cover my eyes.
When I re-opened them, I was greeted my a magnificient golden dragon, worthy of being Akeras father.
I would have thought that I knew now where Akera got her beauty, but his sweeping, piercing golden eyes seemed to be searching around me. It was as if he knew something where here, but he couldnt 'see' me.
After I thought I was safe, I moved to the side and looked past him. Akera, appearing far younger than the Akera I knew was on the ground, eyes down, weeping uncontrollably.
I demanded to know what was going on to make her like this.
I turned my head to the left and froze.
There, chained from neck to tail was a glorious red dragon, with black markings. He was huge, almost as big as Akeras father, but the red dragon looked much feature. I scanned his body and nearly collapsed when I saw his face.
I didnt notice the numerous battle scars. I only saw his eyes. They were staring right at me. Right through me. He knew I was there...His eyes were piercing my mind...my soul. I felt like my body was going to melt into a puddle, those red orbs locked on my gaze, never blinking.
My heart started racing, along with my breathing. Who was this dragon.
The speed increased.
How does he see me.
Faster...Faster...Faster.....
The red dragon grinned at me, and that was the final straw. I collapsed there and then, my mind unable to comprehend.
...
.....
Catarus.....
.....

"Gaah!" I bolted upwards, almost falling off a still flying Akera, forcing her to slow her speed to allow me to balance.
*Am I the only person to constantly have these stupid dreams all the time...* I groaned to myself.
*Are you ok? You were shivering while you slept.*
"Uh...Yeah...Just a weird dream...You were actually in it too"
*Oh really?* She sounded amused. *What kind of dream was this.*
I felt no desire to keep something like this a secret.
"Well...You and your father...at least you called him that...were arguing..."
*Hmm? That's interesting. About what, if I can ask.* Her tone changed from amused to serious.
"Hmm...well it confused me, but there was another dragon in the room, only he was chained to the ground. It was kin-...woah!" I was cut off as Akera dropped a good 100 feet in a flash.
*Sorry, we almost at my clan. Do continue* She almost sounded sad.
"Well, your father wanted him gone, you didnt. Thats basically it. I woke up when the chained dragon looked at me. I felt like he was looking right through me, and it felt so real. I think his name was Cat-"
*Catarus...*
"Wait, are you telling me hes real?"
*Eh heh....dont worry about it...Look over there, you can see my clans boundaries from here.*
I gave up trying to pursue answers to take a look.
Immediately my eyes saw what apparently was the centerpiece of the territory, the palace.
It was gigantic! It looked like a mountain that had been sculpted into a masterpiece, the peaks going past the clouds. As we began to descend further, more impressive landmarks presented themselves. The majority of the land seemed to be a desolate wasteland, which when I asked Akera about it, she said they were ruins from a war not to long ago. But beautiful forests dotted the area here and there, as well as glistening lakes and streams. They almost seemed misplaced because of the surrounding deserts.
We flew lower and lower, heading towards the palace I assumed. Other dragons became dots, growing larger and larger as we descended. There wasn't as many as I had expected.
I finally began settling in to the new environment, everything beginning to seem less alien and more natural. More natural than anything on Earth had.
I felt at home.
"So...where are we going?"
*I am taking you to special quarters that have been prepared, where you will rest for the night.* Akera said, dusk rapidly approaching, the blazing sun setting to its resting place.
"And after that?"
*Just trust me. You will find out soon enough*
"Yeah yeah...Youve said that before."
She smiled, even though she knew I was irritated. Sure I trusted her, but I felt like I was getting the run around, never getting the important questiongs answered.
We finally landed in front of the palace doors, 2 gigantic doors, easily 100 feet of pure silver each.
The 2 green guard dragons tensed as we approached, but relaxed as Akera gave them a nod, and they signalled to have the doors opened.
I felt uneasy as the erie grinding and grating of the doors presented a black onyx hallway, dim with lanterns. It felt like walking into a tomb.
I gripped Akeras backspike hard as she entered, my hands turning white from the pressure as the doors creaked back into place. The thumps from Akeras walking reverburated slightly as we moved along the stone floor.
"Uhm....This place is creepy..."
*Sorry, My master has been in a depression lately, and the palace reflects his emotions.*
*That...cant be a good thing for me* I said to myself.
"Is he ok?"
*He is simply feeling the pain of our clan. We have been in turmoil recently because of raids. Our defenses havent been strong because of the war, and others felt the opportunity to take down one of the strongest forces in the lands to tempting to resist.*
"Woah, it was pretty bad?"
*You can put it like that*
"What was the war about? I mean, what started it?"
Akera stopped walking, and looked like she was staring into nothingness, trying to find an answer that wasnt there.
*One of our strongest betrayed us, and helped our enemies, another dragon clan that we had been feuding with for decades. He helped them by giving them key points to attack that would severely hurt us, and then helped them poison half of our outposted soldiers, so that nothing could stop a full scale invasion.*
"Damn, thats pretty bad, he did all that?"
I felt a sarcastic chuckle in her throat.
*Thats what he was accused of. And our nobles and my father found him guilty*
"Do you not think he did it?"
*I dont think that anyone looked into it enough to come to that decision.*
"Did you kill him?"
*No, we dont execute anyone, for anything.* She was starting to get flustered from my barrage of questions, but unfortunately for her, I wasnt done yet.
"Well then what did you do to him?"
She paused, choosing her words carefully.
*He had his memory erased, and was banished.*
"Wow. That sucks, but if he did what he was accused of, then he deserved it."
"He didnt deserve it!" Akera screamed out loud, tears flowing.
This was the first time I had seen her lose her cool.
"...Whats wrong?"
*Oops....I lost my temper there for a minute.....Sorry...*
"Thats ok, but why would you get so upset over a criminal?"
*Please...you dont understand. He wasnt a criminal, I dont believe one bit that he did those things. I knew him better than that...*
"Im sorry, Im being insensitive, I dont know about law here. Can I do anyth-"
*Its not your fault...but we are here, you need your rest.
Off Akeras left side was a small silver door, or at least small compared to the others I had seen in the palace. I made my way off her back and put my hand on the handle.
"Im really sorry...are you going to be ok?"
*It's not your fault...I will be by tommorow to wake you up. Get some sleep, tommorows a big day.*
I wanted to say more, but I felt depressed and thought I had already said to much.
"Ok....Good night..."
*You too.*
She waited until I entered to room to keep walking.
The room itself would have made me feel like royalty, had I taken the time to look around, but the day had drained me, and I made my way to the awkwardly shaped bed, pulled the covers over myself, and fell asleep.
"What in the hell have I gotten myself into..."
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