Old 06-10-2018, 12:33 AM   #61
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i just bottle it up until i have some sort of break down that results in me going to the ER

but idc really, its just me being edgy. Edgy is bad lol
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Old 06-20-2018, 08:22 PM   #62
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently because on 24rd December 2016 my house was burning when i was in it. I get random illusions and false senses of smoke. It is so scary and i just wanted to post it here to get it off my chest.
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Old 06-22-2018, 06:17 PM   #63
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Deleted all my social media and going through crazy medical issues! Depression has snuck up on me and punched me in the face. I haven't been on FFR in probably a year but I am able to shitpost and get stuff off of my chest.

Depression, Moodswings, horrible feelings, emptiness, loneliness, has all been plaguing me for 3 weeks, doctors won't give me the tests I need to get rid of my sickness and I will be stuck waiting for 6-12 more months and its so disheartening.

-endrant-

Needed to get that off my chest.
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Old 06-23-2018, 07:06 AM   #64
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

to anyone struggling do your best to give yourself some compassion. mental illnesses are real and they aren't your fault.

as i stated earlier i recovered from terrible debilitating anxiety and mild clinical depression. i spent years isolated. i am doing so much better now. i serve as an example for people that these things can be fought and overcome. it's not easy and it's a process no matter what it is. seek support wherever possible
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Old 06-23-2018, 12:23 PM   #65
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mental illnesses are real and they aren't your fault.
I've been reflecting on this for a moment. And my mind teeters a bit. It feels easier when I can take the pressure off myself, and think that genetics and experiences have just shaped me as this way-- I have to work on accepting things as they are.

But lately I've been real tired of just letting myself make excuses for it being okay to feel bad, or to become overwhelmed. It's okay to crumble sometimes when you've done all you can. These things distract me, they tell me to take my eyes off the road. I stop focusing on swimming through the emergent experience, and i get caught up in swirls.

Time and time again I find myself in those swirls, and i realize it is something i have to get better at predicting and avoiding. I try very hard to analyze my experiences so i can see how to improve myself or avoid pain and suffering.

It sucks to be in pain all the time. To not feel any of the real experiences of life, because of distractions from our pure experiences. I don't want to live like that anymore.

My introversion, my emotions-- these are powerful tools that can easily be used to induce damaging experiences onto myself if i'm not careful.

I need to moderate, i need to be disciplined, and i need this to become muscle memory over time.

I will change.
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Old 11-9-2018, 12:54 AM   #66
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i'm perfect by design, my mom said so
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Old 11-9-2018, 08:04 AM   #67
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i'm perfect by design, my mom said so
relatable
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Old 08-10-2020, 11:22 AM   #68
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Anxiety can really suck cause it makes my nerves worse in most cases. (Of course it has other downsides) Though It has caused me to do a lot of introspection which is pretty beneficial most of the time.
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Old 08-10-2020, 12:53 PM   #69
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I can agree anxiety does suck, got depression as well that I'm pretty sure comes from childhood trauma I've had to endure.
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Old 08-10-2020, 09:20 PM   #70
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

what i've learned over the past year is the power good mental health can give you. i hope you prioritize that during these times <3

edit: ok phrasing is awkward but y'all catch my drift
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Old 08-10-2020, 09:31 PM   #71
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Depression and anxiety have been making things difficult for as long as I can remember. If I had to pinpoint an exact age where I would say it really started affecting my life and how I go about my day, probably 12 years old, and the fact that it was amplified by several events at school and how "friends" at the time started treating me.

Mental illnesses are terrible and I wish no one had to go through them, but I think they make us see the world in fascinating ways (maybe not "exciting ways", but...things are interesting). And like sploder said, there is a lot of introspection and constant searching for personal growth.

The resources available nowadays make it just a little bit more tolerable to give some level of optimism. I can't imagine living in a past time period where mental health treatment was "Hey, let's isolate them and brainwash them until they can't think for themselves! That will fix them!"

You're all beautiful. <3
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:28 PM   #72
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

this thread was bumped by a bot with a generic comment about anxiety lol just letting y'all know

definitely still a worthwhile conversation its just funny
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:30 PM   #73
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Even bots suffer from mental illness
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Old 08-10-2020, 11:09 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by mellonxcollie View Post
this thread was bumped by a bot with a generic comment about anxiety lol just letting y'all know

definitely still a worthwhile conversation its just funny
Wait.....

Edit: I'm stupid and didn't realize the post was removed. I just happened to Also have a generic comment about anxiety that looks like it bumped the thread.

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Old 08-13-2020, 06:04 AM   #75
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Happiness, applied intelligence, and the correct alignment of one's priorities and chosen daily missions are basically all one and the same. It is dynamical, not a stable plateau. And so one way to escape depression is to wonder what a happy person would do, and then do exactly that. Incrementally, one will become the happy person one imagined. One will also feel less reliant on the artificial loops of pleasure fixes and drugs previously considered previews of happiness. Thus happiness is a feedback that one is on the right path.

Expecting people to feel so sorry for you and "fix" everything is not realistic, since all have been wronged on some metric they have judged important. Life is innately suffering and innately composed of subjective unfairness, from all angles, and thus is ironically fair in the end. Every moment in time and point in space is a reset button as long as you say so.

Depression, at least in the first world, generally means not that life is too hard for you, but that life is too easy for you. I've seen it time and again and experienced it myself. Third-worlders generally have no time to be depressed.

Depressed people are accustomed to darkness of the mind. Well wouldn't the darkest thought of all be that, after all that suffering, disappointment, lack of fulfillment, and inability to attain that item, circumstance, or relationship one considered the "final" answer to one's sorrows, one would be obligated to appreciate and enjoy the experience regardless?

The short way to express the previous sentiment is that happiness is a moral obligation. It cuts so hard because it's true. Anything that occurs is new information that allows for personal growth and empowerment. And we might as well be thankful for that.

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Old 09-2-2020, 11:07 AM   #76
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Seeing a thread like this makes me so happy. I was diagnosed with Depression when I was 15; done therapy, a plethora of different types of meds from Cipralex, Fluoxietine, Prozac, Clonazepam, Diazepam, etc etc. Over the years, I seemed to only to get worse and I noticed a huge change with unsettling behavioral issues with myself, as well as an increased state of despair and hopelessness. I grew up with Religious parents who pretty much thought it was all just a phase and that I would "grow out of it." It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I was able to afford seeing a real Psychiatrist, to find out that I've been suffering from severe BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Amongst also having severe Anxiety as well, which is kind of a packaged deal. My Anxiety is CONSTANT, but I take things day by day. Some days are good, some days are awful.

All I can say to those fighting a silent battle, please hang in there and I hope you're all doing okay too. <3

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Old 11-23-2020, 03:10 AM   #77
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I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that if you ever need someone to talk to, my line is open. I am in the FFR discord(same name).

You are not alone. You are loved.
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Old 11-23-2020, 12:40 PM   #78
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Wait.....

Edit: I'm stupid and didn't realize the post was removed. I just happened to Also have a generic comment about anxiety that looks like it bumped the thread.
yeah lmao I was like a veteran bot? huh that's cool

being sad sucks and I'm trying to not be sad, maybe next year
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Old 11-23-2020, 09:06 PM   #79
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

I don't even know what I'd say if I had to say something
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Old 11-24-2020, 08:23 AM   #80
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there's nothing to say except for empty platitudes that do nothing to alleviate any and all stress brought on by the current state of the world. anyone who thinks that they're "helping" is, at best, doing nothing to better or worsen someone's mental state. this idea that anyone can "help" is stupid.
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