Go Back   Flash Flash Revolution: Community Forums > General Discussion > Chit Chat

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-30-2018, 01:00 AM   #1
QueenAshy
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: San Antonio, TX
Age: 20
Posts: 554
Default Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

I had no childhood and never did many rites of passage or anything while growing up. Of course, it isn’t like down’s, I can still work and manage difficult things that take brainpower; but as far as my behavior in general, it is still very much childish. I always tend to be very outwardly emotional, I like doing crazy (sometimes dangerous things), I have a desire to be a princess (in a little girl kind of way), and I sometimes like very flowery dresses and stuff.

My adult side comes in with my reasoning and sometimes with my perverted/promiscuous side. Like, if I need to analyze something critically, like Fire Emblem or SMT, I can easily strategize and carefully plan out actions.

This might be in part to Aspergers Syndrome, and also likely due to my abusive and terrible childhood. Either way, it’s probably why I have a general happy and bouncy aura on most days. Other days, it’s more oppressive, but that’s mostly when I’m really sad/angry.

Does anyone else have a similar thing going on?

Additional fact: sometimes I’m an even younger girl in my mind, like prepubescent age girl. This is evidenced by my little headspace (not inherently sexual), where I love teddy bears and pillow forts like nothing else.

Last edited by QueenAshy; 11-30-2018 at 01:02 AM..
QueenAshy is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 01:22 AM   #2
DaBackpack
~ お ま ん こ ~
 
DaBackpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: unlikely
Age: 25
Posts: 611
Send a message via Skype™ to DaBackpack
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

I normally don't take on a normative standpoint when it comes to these things, but I think something needs to be said here.

What you have described is not normal.

It reads like a lack of emotional maturity. It's really obvious from how you've described your "adult side": reasoning, strategy, and perversion aren't signs of maturity. Most people would say something about stability, interpersonal skills, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to the notion of maturity. This isn't really your fault, for reasons you've stated, but I think it's still something that you'll need to address in order to integrate into society properly.

I honestly think that, if you haven't brought this up with a therapist, you should, because emotional maturity is one of the most important skills you can have when it comes to dealing with the real world.

This is going to come off as an attack on your character, and even if it does, I'm being sincere and I hope that you at least listen to what I and others have to say about the topic.
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by TWG Dan Hedgehog View Post
there are 743 matches for hedgehog suicide on deviantart
that's kind of a sad statistic
DaBackpack is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 01:36 AM   #3
Gravity Kitten
FFR Player
 
Gravity Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ya
Posts: 586
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

plz go see a therapist. no troll, posting abt it online clearly isn’t helping you. and it sounds like you could benefit from someone who can
__________________
Gravity Kitten is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 01:44 AM   #4
Elena-
FFR Player
 
Elena-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Age: 24
Posts: 142
Default

I'm 24 biologically but mental age fluctuates between 4 and 40 on a daily basis

life is great

If you learn to harness what makes you feel young, you can live forever

learning it is just as easy as losing it, those who defeat freedom of information are just as likely to forget it
__________________
Don't marry a god. Marry someone who has something interesting to say.


Last edited by devonin; 11-30-2018 at 07:58 AM..
Elena- is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:06 AM   #5
QueenAshy
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: San Antonio, TX
Age: 20
Posts: 554
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaBackpack View Post
I normally don't take on a normative standpoint when it comes to these things, but I think something needs to be said here.

What you have described is not normal.

It reads like a lack of emotional maturity. It's really obvious from how you've described your "adult side": reasoning, strategy, and perversion aren't signs of maturity. Most people would say something about stability, interpersonal skills, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to the notion of maturity. This isn't really your fault, for reasons you've stated, but I think it's still something that you'll need to address in order to integrate into society properly.

I honestly think that, if you haven't brought this up with a therapist, you should, because emotional maturity is one of the most important skills you can have when it comes to dealing with the real world.

This is going to come off as an attack on your character, and even if it does, I'm being sincere and I hope that you at least listen to what I and others have to say about the topic.
I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.

Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravity Kitten View Post
plz go see a therapist. no troll, posting abt it online clearly isn’t helping you. and it sounds like you could benefit from someone who can
I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…

Edit; I also should bring up that I went through consistent therapy from 2014-2017, and it didn’t help too much. No joke,I even still know the therapist’s name. So, if that sort of therapy where I spend 2 hours a week talking to someone won’t help, I don’t think much will

Last edited by QueenAshy; 11-30-2018 at 02:09 AM..
QueenAshy is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:13 AM   #6
Gradiant
(◞≼☉≽◟◞౪◟◞≼☉≽◟)
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Music ProducerFFR Veteran
 
Gradiant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Michigan
Age: 24
Posts: 1,120
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

To be completely honest, you're getting the wrong idea about why your threads are popular. You shouldn't use that confusion as a reason to not get help.
Think there's some saying like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'? And that really isn't the case here.

Last edited by Gradiant; 11-30-2018 at 02:15 AM..
Gradiant is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:17 AM   #7
Hakulyte
FFR Veteran
UX Designer
DeveloperFFR Veteran
 
Hakulyte's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 4,018
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
Honestly, I donít want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, Iíll be a boring person just like everyone else. Itís a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldnít be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.
Have you tried one before ?
__________________
Hakulyte is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:32 AM   #8
QueenAshy
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: San Antonio, TX
Age: 20
Posts: 554
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gradiant View Post
To be completely honest, you're getting the wrong idea about why your threads are popular. You shouldn't use that confusion as a reason to not get help.
Think there's some saying like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'? And that really isn't the case here.
I mean, at least itís not the osu! community where people were telling me to die and axing my maps/forum posts because of who I am. Honestly, considering the places Iíve been, this joint isnít too bad.

Besides, there are some people here that actually like me, and it isnít too small a minority either. I mean, if you personally hate me, good for you, not like losing validation from one person is gonna kill meÖ
QueenAshy is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:38 AM   #9
Gradiant
(◞≼☉≽◟◞౪◟◞≼☉≽◟)
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Music ProducerFFR Veteran
 
Gradiant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Michigan
Age: 24
Posts: 1,120
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
I mean, at least itís not the osu! community where people were telling me to die and axing my maps/forum posts because of who I am. Honestly, considering the places Iíve been, this joint isnít too bad.

Besides, there are some people here that actually like me, and it isnít too small a minority either. I mean, if you personally hate me, good for you, not like losing validation from one person is gonna kill meÖ
If all you're taking out of that is that you think i personally hate you, then there's really nothing else I can say.
Gradiant is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 02:39 AM   #10
DaBackpack
~ お ま ん こ ~
 
DaBackpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: unlikely
Age: 25
Posts: 611
Send a message via Skype™ to DaBackpack
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.
I'm not here to psychoanalyze you but, I don't think you've demonstrated those traits here. It's been a long trial on FFR. I'll leave it at that for now.

Quote:
Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.

I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…
I see this argument ALL the time and I say the same thing each time.

I see a therapist. I've seen a therapist for over 15 years. For childhood trauma. I felt the same thing you described over the years, but someone close to me said something that made me feel better about it:

"Therapy and medicine don't kill your 'self', they make you MORE 'yourself.'"

As in, therapy turns you into a better, happier version of yourself.

---------------------------

I think you'll have a hard time relating to others if you don't at least open yourself up to other people's advice, suggestions, and feedback. You might hit a wall with social interactions, or find yourself with a lot of relationship issues if you continue with this mindset. This, again, brings me back to my point about self-awareness. I don't think you're quite there yet. (Neither am I, fwiw.)

EDIT: I read your amendment. There are ineffectual therapist-client relationships. That doesn't invalidate the method as a whole. I'm here telling you, in good faith, that I still think you would benefit from therapy.

Let me add one more thing:

Somebody very close to me lived her whole life thinking that the way she was raised was normal and healthy. It wasn't: she was emotionally manipulated and abused by her mother for years, and it wasn't until talking to me, her friends, and her therapist that she realized that there was something better for her out there.

You (general you) live in your own mindset, worldview, and with your own unique history. You'll almost never "reach the outside" of your own mind without consulting and actually LISTENING to others... not just deflecting any contrary information. That's a part of growing up.
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by TWG Dan Hedgehog View Post
there are 743 matches for hedgehog suicide on deviantart
that's kind of a sad statistic

Last edited by DaBackpack; 11-30-2018 at 02:45 AM..
DaBackpack is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 03:56 AM   #11
dragonmegaXX
ITG playing fur
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
dragonmegaXX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 3,528
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. Iíve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, Iím not perfect, but itís still there.

Honestly, I donít want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, Iíll be a boring person just like everyone else. Itís a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldnít be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.



I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and Iíll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so yearsÖ

Honestly, itís not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I donít think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. Itís more just a quirk of my personality if anythingÖ

Edit; I also should bring up that I went through consistent therapy from 2014-2017, and it didnít help too much. No joke,I even still know the therapistís name. So, if that sort of therapy where I spend 2 hours a week talking to someone wonít help, I donít think much will
You have all the symptoms of what I would call being an angsty teenager who thinks that theyíre so special individually that seeing a professional to try to help with very real mental health issues would ďdestroy who they areĒ. You sound like I did when I was 16 and boy are you in for a rough future if you donít grow up quickly.
__________________
dragonmegaXX is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:10 AM   #12
QueenAshy
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: San Antonio, TX
Age: 20
Posts: 554
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonmegaXX View Post
You have all the symptoms of what I would call being an angsty teenager who thinks that theyíre so special individually that seeing a professional to try to help with very real mental health issues would ďdestroy who they areĒ. You sound like I did when I was 16 and boy are you in for a rough future if you donít grow up quickly.
If itís really that bad of a mental condition, name the condition itself. I guarantee that what I described with mental age represents no known psychological conditions. At worst, itís somply immaturity
QueenAshy is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:38 AM   #13
dragonmegaXX
ITG playing fur
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
dragonmegaXX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 3,528
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
If itís really that bad of a mental condition, name the condition itself. I guarantee that what I described with mental age represents no known psychological conditions. At worst, itís somply immaturity
ďMental issuesĒ =\= a psychological disorder. It means mental issues. Iíve dealt with terrible social anxiety and bad alcoholism for a couple years now( and have been seeing a professional to get to the roots of it). I know I have issues and want to help the. Before they snow ball and I end up in a grave with a self inflicted gunshot wound.

Iím just getting the vibes from you that youíre admitting to having negative features about yourself but refuse to see someone about them because it would make you not unique anymore.
__________________
dragonmegaXX is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:38 AM   #14
Funnygurl555
FFR Veteran
FFR Veteran
 
Funnygurl555's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 1,717
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

think you read his post wrong queenashy

dbp prolly nailed it

edit: dat ninja rip
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MixMasterLar View Post
is funny eaman?
Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
Quote:
Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
GET DUNKED FUNNY
(eaman is her name irl, friend)

Quote:
Originally Posted by XelNya View Post
There comes a point where we have to ask our selves, "do we really want to deal with that, desperate as we are?"

I think we can all agree on the answer, yeah?

Last edited by Funnygurl555; 11-30-2018 at 04:39 AM..
Funnygurl555 is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 04:54 AM   #15
riktoi
FFR Player
 
riktoi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 113
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

being "unique" as an emotional wreck is far from something that anyone in this world wants, and most people realise that before it's too late. like dapackback said, therapists and the such are simply there to specifically help you to figure out yourself, not to _distance_ your being. self-awareness in these sorts of cases would've already given you the red light inside that something is wrong.
riktoi is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:19 AM   #16
SKG_Scintill
Spun a twirly fruitcake,
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
SKG_Scintill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 3,721
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy View Post
there are some people here that actually like me, and it isnít too small a minority either.
r/woooosh
__________________





Quote:
Originally Posted by bluguerilla
So Sexy Robotnik (SKG_Scintill) {.0001/10} [--]
___
. RHYTHMS PR LAYERING
. ZOMG I HAD TO QUIT OUT TERRIBLE
.
SKG_Scintill is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 05:31 AM   #17
Spenner
Forum User
Sectional Moderator
 
Spenner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Canada
Age: 26
Posts: 2,386
Send a message via MSN to Spenner Send a message via Skype™ to Spenner
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

because everyone generally has to conform to societal norms in some way that it makes it appear that something is different about you. Deep down I see a person like anyone else, and I believe it’s just that you’re slowly figuring out how exactly to fit in the society we’ve been presented with. Ideally in a way that doesn’t really change who you are for the worse, but only for the better. With practice and repetition, we can change some of our behaviours so that we can benefit from them. Therapists can help you work on that, just so you can survive a bit easier, and not fall into pitfalls as often.

It’s also something you can work on by yourself. I haven’t found my ideal therapist yet, so it’s just me and whatever I can pull together. I try to take in a lot of inspiration, and it slowly manifests through me— even if it’s as simple as, pretending I’m in the mindset of a professional smash player or something. Daydreaming about that level of focus, and mental composure, when I know I need some of that. The more you work on your mind being flexible, the easier it is to navigate through the pegs of life.
__________________

Spenner is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 07:56 AM   #18
mellonxcollie
Sectional Moderator
TGB Queen
Sectional Moderator
 
mellonxcollie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Confirmed.
Age: 27
Posts: 1,424
Send a message via AIM to mellonxcollie Send a message via MSN to mellonxcollie Send a message via Skype™ to mellonxcollie
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

Nothing about what you've described have anything to do with your actual age or maturity. Reaching age milestones doesn't make your life change in any significant way overnight, these changes happen gradually over a long time. Some stuff might stick with you a long time even after you think you should have "grown out of it"

Being outwardly emotional or liking flowery dresses are not even associated with young people in my mind, they're simply associated with women of all ages.

Doing crazy things and feeling promiscuous I would associate with teens and young adults; you're acting just your age on that one

Thinking critically is a skill all people over the age of maybe, 6 or 7, should be developing. I remember specifically having "Critical Thinking" portions at the end of nearly every test I took in school which usually involved applying the same concepts from the test in a way we hadn't seen before.

Even loving teddy bears and pillow forts means jack shit. I started my anime and plushie collection at age 14, it's still going and I've never gotten rid of a single thing. That means that I still like the exact same characters and the merch that I got at age 14. All this means is that my general interests and tastes have stayed the same. I've matured and grown in a million other ways in that time.
__________________
Follow my dog on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Riles_puppy

Quote:
Originally Posted by MinaciousGrace View Post
people like you are how trump gets elected
mellonxcollie is offline  
Old 11-30-2018, 08:15 AM   #19
devonin
Very Grave Indeed
Global Moderator, User Support
Global ModeratorFFR Veteran
 
devonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Canada
Age: 34
Posts: 9,696
Send a message via AIM to devonin Send a message via MSN to devonin
Default Re: Iím 18 biologically, but I feel like Iím about 14 mentallyÖ

if you're going to post personal things in public fora instead of on your profile, you have to be prepared for the fact that not all reactions are going to be in agreement with you.

People suggesting courses of action for you when you've basically asked them to tell you courses of action is a thing that will happen.

Consider that people's advice is coming from a place of wanting to help you and consider that if you aren't actually interested in taking contrary opinions to heart, that you should stop soliciting them.

Last edited by devonin; 11-30-2018 at 08:15 AM..
devonin is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:13 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright FlashFlashRevolution