Quote:
Originally Posted by zoogarama
I'm taking issue with this whole thread to be honest, by posting here it suggests a small part of you that is hoping they will see this thread. You can also see it in how you're explaining yourself, and if your goal was really to just get banned, you should have PM'd an admin. Not posted publicly.
If you really are apologetic, then you need to learn to accept someones boundaries completely. There are just going to be times in your life where you will never reach an external resolution with someone on something and that's life. But that doesn't mean resolution and acceptance can't come from within yourself. But that requires acceptance and ownership on your past behavior, good and bad, in order to move forward. I would heavily suggest seeking out professional therapy services.
There is no failure in asking for advice and help from someone. But it also requires you to face your weaknesses and failures head on and honestly.
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I see what you're saying and you're entitled to you're perception. I had pm'd an admin requesting a ban before this thread was made - this was to accelerate the process, nothing more, nothing less.
In my head I imagined an admin just closing the thread on the first reply followed by being banned (what I wanted) because I wanted it to happen right away.
Instead, I got a ton of support of people willing to reach out and were genuinely concerned which was really nice to see. Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term as I can now say that I am at peace with myself from the emotional/mental warfare I waged on myself.
My conclusion is you can admire who some one is or what they do but still have to accept the reality when you're not truly compatible with them.
Could I have remained friends with this person? certainly, but I wanted more than was tangible from them and ultimately than I deserved for what I thought I was bringing to the table (in potential).
Just wanted to clear up my real intention was out of impulse more than anything else, this thread was not intended to spite the person.
edit: by the way, you're advice is good but, I've already tried logically every thing you can imagine including you're advice already - that's the nature of an obsessive tone covered in emotional noise, it drowns out any 'sound' ideas of what would ordinarily make sense no questions asked... and yes, I have looked for professional help, and you'd be surprised how hard it is to find it when you actually need it lmfao not to mention how much (excuse me) fucking money it costs jesus... I'll just have to stomach the insanity however long till I persevere or crash and burn (when problems like these happen in the future)