[MixMasterLar]

Which of these sites do you think provides the closest comparison between animal and sportsperson?

Dear God, capybaras vs. Rafael Nadal. Without a doubt. Eagles come close though

Have you beaten 2048 yet?

You mean San Francisco RUSH 2049? I totally have.
What about the 3d version?
32bits is still 3D brah

No but seriously until I googled it two minutes ago I never heard of the game you most likely mean

If you invented a food product where you mixed together 2 parts of butter with 3 parts of "I can't believe it's not butter", what would you name it?

"Spread"


(Warning: the last one's a long one)
**ck

You acquire a popcorn-making machine from somewhere. I don't know where, let's just say you... er... won it from an arcade or something. You've used it once before and it worked exactly as it should. So, one day, you invite a friend over to your house to watch a movie. Naturally, you decide to make use of your newly acquired popcorn machine, but you haven't told your friend about the machine and want to surprise him/her with the popcorn machine when he/she comes over. I'm tired of writing "he/she" so from now on I'll use impersonal "they".

I never saw how people get offended if you use "they" without permission, actually. Around here there's not a real big problem even you do use it on straights even. I guess it's a hand-me-over from the Deep South.

So your friend tells you they will arrive at around half past 2 in the afternoon (it's about 1 o'clock), so you begin to set up your house and make sure the furniture points towards the tv screen and whatever other stuff you do to get ready to watch a movie - but that's irrelevant for the question, so I'll leave it to you to make the details up, like what movie it is, and stuff. (Incidentally isn't the phrase "and stuff" sort of weird, if you think about it, and stuff? Heh.)

Not at all.

You turn your popcorn machine on, make sure the timer is correct (because, you know, daylight savings and stuff can screw over every electronic device with a timer that you own), and set the machine for 2 popcorns for 2:30. Then you have your lunch, wherever (again, fill the details in, whether you're eating in or out is not part of the question). Then you finish eating and discover that there's a cabbage stuck to the kitchen ceiling with a post-it note attached to it which says "If you're wondering how I got here, here's a hint: it probably isn't surface tension". You wonder how it got there, but that isn't part of the question so I'll skip the details.

I'd appreciate it

Shortly before 2pm, without any warning or preparatory notice, the popcorn machine starts whirring. You don't exactly know why it's making that strange, slightly disturbing noise that it didn't make last time you used it, or why it's doing that half an hour before your popcorn should be ready. You don't really think anything of it. Or maybe you do, but your thoughts don't amount to anything concrete.

Story of my life right there. Sometimes I feel like I might as well not even get out of bed. It also doesn't help that most of my family that I actually talk to fall under the heading of Askholes which makes me never want to even finish a line of thought.


Time: 1:58:11pm

Time: 1:59:04pm


Time: 1:59:30pm



Time: 2:00:00pm


Time: 2:00:22pm


Time: 2:00:53pm



Time: 2:01:04pm



Time: 2:01:13pm



Time: 2:01:20pm



Time: 2:02:51pm

By this point, you are still desperately pushing buttons, while popcorns are coming out of the machine faster than you can remove them, and there are now a total of 21 popcorns scattered across the living room table and floor. Most are closed but a few managed to burst open (not dramatically, I mean like all the popcorn is still inside the boxes except for like a few scattered popcorns) while being rammed into by other popcorn boxes spewing from the machine. Besides, the noise from the machine continues to increase in volume and is now at about the same level as it was shortly before it started producing popcorn.

You've already tried to hit the "off" switch on the machine with no success - the screen is telling you that it has to finish the popcorn making job before it turns itself off. You're thinking: "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!?!?" but you have no answer. In a desperate haze of confusion, panic, and desperation (I know I said "desperate" twice in that last sentence, but whatever. I don't care) you mash all the buttons on the machine as if you were trying to score in a combo based scoring ffr tournament on a song way above your skill level.

You should care; saying the same word in a sentence twice just makes it sound like you don't really care about imparting your story and can detach the reader from the experience.

Time: 2:03:03pm

SUDDENLY THE REALISATION HITS YOU. While pressing buttons and trying to work out what the screen is telling you, you have come to realise, with an abject look of horror, desperation, shock, and total disbelief, that the reason why the popcorn machine is trying to lead you into what you believe is a "popcornocalypse" is as follows.

Instead of 2 popcorns at 2:30, you accidentally set the machine to 230 popcorns at 2.



Your entire life flashes before your eyes as you realise the enormity and the magnitude of what you just did, like the guy who steered the Titanic into the iceberg, whoever that was.

Edward Smith

Time: 2:03:07pm


Time: 2:03:29pm


Time: 2:03:44pm

At this point the machine has got so ear-splittingly loud that it resembles a 10-year-old Italian washing machine on spin cycle.

(I don't know if it's just me or are Italian washing machines really loud compared to non-Italian ones? Maybe I'm generalising because my family only ever had one Italian washing machine for a short while and it didn't really work properly and made disturbing noises worse than Bieber, but I digress.)

Maytag ftw.

Time: 2:03:59pm


Time: 2:04:12pm

You desperately need to get back to the living room to stop the popcorn machine. But there are tons of pointy screws between you and the doorway out of the room. In one graceful motion, you stick the hammer down the front of your shirt, leap up in the air trying to grab the top of the door frame to gracefully swing your way over and out of the room, past all the screws lying around on the floor menacingly pointing up towards you. You have no sense of how, if you fail to make it, this will end really, really badly - at this point you are only acting on impulse and adrenaline.



Time: 2:04:14pm

You make it out of the doorway!



At least there's one bit of good fortune for you. Well you didn't even realise how lucky you were until after the event. You're on a mission: 1v1. You vs the popcorn machine. The living room has now started to look like an impending popcornocalypse. The noise from the popcorn machine lacks adjectives in the English language to describe it.

Time: 2:04:15pm

Unfortunately you don't get there soon enough. As soon as you enter the room and are graced by the sight of loads of popcorn packets continually being thrown around near the exit of the popcorn machine, and try to reach back into your shirt to grab the hammer, the unthinkable happens.

POW

The popcorn machine explodes sending smithereens of itself flying through the air in all directions. You duck, narrowly avoiding the largest chunks of metal that spew randomly from where the machine used to be, but some of the smaller bits get you. And the tv screen. And the... well, everything. At the same time as the explosion, all the popped popcorn that had been contained inside the popcorn machine - that's all 230 boxes of popcorn minus however many boxes there were scattered across the floor,

Roughly 178 I would say

but there can't have been any more than about a hundred boxes on the floor - fly up into the air in all directions, but not in boxes, just individual popped corns flying about.
K


Time: 2:04:16pm


Time: 2:04:20pm



Time: 2:04:30pm

All the popcorn finally settles down, and you survey the damage.

Small chunks of metal from the popcorn machine that used to be there are scattered across the room amongst the popcorn. Unfortunately they've made small dents in a few things like the TV screen. It looks like it should still work, but the dents are definitely noticeable even from a moderate distance.

Popcorns have covered the entire room to an average depth of about 6 cm in popcorn (I didn't work this out, I'm just guessing how much 230 packets of popcorn strewn across a decent sized room would amount to. Feel free to call me out on this if my guess is way off.) So up to your ankles or something. I mean, it's now impossible to walk across the floor without trampling on loads of popcorn (and even more riskily - the metal bits from the machine - and the screws from where you got the hammer from). There is no other way to describe it - it is a true popcornocalypse.


I live in the states what the hell is a CM?

Fortunately the TV still works.

Praise God for Miracles

Time: 2:05:00pm

You have no clue what to do now. Nothing is there to be done, except clean up the 230 popcorns, the metal bits and pieces lying around everywhere, and the 500 screws from the room you got the hammer from.

Unfortunately, you know full well that there is no way you can do this in 25 minutes.

That was the most eventful 5 minutes of my life

You think about telling your friend to not bother coming along after all, but you think that you definitely need quite a lot of extra help to clean up all the surrounding mess.

You munch a few popcorns because you're hungry. They taste just like they're supposed to.

You're still feeling hopeless and desperate, because you have no idea how any of this happened, and you can't conceivably think of a way to efficiently clean all of this up.

What do you do?

Ask myself way I didn't unplug the damn thing, or cut the breaker. I actually use my breaker box often as a means to control my power bill--I keep my hot water heater off expect for at night and I turn off entire walls if I decide I won't be using anything on that side of the room. save like 50 bucks a month this way.

Otherwise, grab the salt shaker and wait til my friends arrive---I got one hell of a story to tell.