[MalReynolds]

It was both sad and amusing at the same time watching George half-step when they leapt and fall back when they rolled, and I found it hard trying to imagine him acting with them.

The Night Scan reminder was a pleasant enough way to wind down the evening – the only detracting factor what that I had not seen Liza for the entire hour I had been in the Rec Hall. I turned to ask Tyler, but he was already on his way out the door with Sam, George was all the way in the back grabbing his coat, and Dylan was Dylan. He was hidden behind Clarice anyway – I could only assume they were kissing or talking very slowly and quickly, given my vantage point.

I gave a half earnest wave before heading down the stairs back towards the Guest Dorm. I was shocked to find when I stepped inside not a large group of vagrants, rather the Gary’s, who were occupying a fair amount of the beds. They were all talking fervently amongst themselves and gave a bravado filled cheer when I entered the room before offering me one of the beds.

I considered it and even sat down to take my shoes off, but for some reason, the bed felt less comfortable to me than the floor, and so it was on the third night, the first night I was given the opportunity to sleep elevated, on a mattress, that I ultimately declined and chose the floor.

The most annoying thing about the Gary’s, despite their obvious rehearsal of the material, was the high pitched cackle they let out whenever one of them let out their genius idea. They sat in their own little circle, pontificating to no end about things that I doubt they really cared about – moreover, they chose material it was easiest to make jokes over. Most of the material was reminiscent in my mind of other comedians – but their names escaped me. They had tainted the jokes just enough to claim them as their own.

The cackle could most likely be akined to the sound of an old woman laughing or small puppies barking. The sound was a short burst that lasted for all of three seconds before a half a second respite, before launching again. It was tiresome, but they kept it up for the better part of an hour before they started falling asleep.

That would have been haven enough for me, only having four of the five Gary’s awake, but the Alpha Gary did his best to rouse Tired Gary, and the cycle started all over again, encompassing another hour of my night. I closed my eyes and prayed that I would pass out from exhaustion, from shock, from turmoil – it’s not every day I’m shot at and witness another man gunned down.

I had thought about telling Tyler about the ordeal at The Center during his party, but it seemed rather inopportune. I was also not too keen on tipping Sam’s hand, although surely Tyler could tell that she could not afford such an expensive gift by herself. “It might be something to bring up tomorrow,” I thought to myself. “Unless they put it in the papers first.”

More worrying than any of this was the disappearance of Liza. Not only did I feel fear that she might be somewhere else, I could also feel a twinge of jealousy and suspicion. She could have been out with another guy. They could be kissing right now, or worse, and I wouldn’t know about it.

Then again, would I have rather known about it?

So far, Liza is the closest thing to a normal human being I can see in my life. Would I want to ruin the image that she has in my mind? It would be an impossible standard to live up to forever, if I chose to stay, but I wasn’t ready to let her be less than she could be. With that, I forced myself to stop thinking about her.

Immediately, I was drowsy.

I fell asleep that night to the cackle of the Gary’s.

-

I awoke to that identical sound.

God, did they even sleep last night or did they spend the entire eight hours sitting up and laughing?

“Hey, guys,” I said, rolling over and sitting up.

“Hey Tim,” they responded simultaneously.

“How did you all sleep?”

“Super,” they responded as one.

“What time did you all wake up?”

“My watch,” the Alpha Gary said, “Goes off at 5. And all of their watches are synced to mine. It’s so we can get the most out of the day. Try and run some improv, you know.”

“I really don’t.”

The Gary’s laughed. The light was too much – I stared at the Alpha Gary. The only thing that set him apart from the rest was a small scar that ran over his right eye. He wore the same black shirt and black pants as the rest of them, he wore the same muddy boots and has the same buzz-cut hair.

If half of them hadn’t been obese, it would have been very difficult to tell all of them apart.

I decided the instant that I woke up that I would be flying solo today, at least from the Gary’s. I stepped out of the room and sighed as the door shut, cutting off their obnoxious laughter. I turned to head down the hall and watched as George came plodding towards the Guest Dorms.

“Hey man, what’s going on?” He said, biting down on a biscuit and pushing his glasses up.

“Not much. Just trying to get away from them.”

“They’re great, aren’t they?” It was an all new language. English mixed intermittently with the sound buffer of dough. He was speaking English Muffin.

“Yeah, like a hernia is great.”

“Quiet! They might hear you!”

“And what?”

George’s eyes went dead. “I don’t know what their trigger is, man. Why would you risk it?”

I paused. “I didn’t know they used. They don’t exactly advertise, dude…”

“You should just be more careful. You never know who uses.”

“Yeah, and that’s a major problem. What if I told you, ‘Hey, George, chew with your mouth closed.’ Would you go off the handle on me? Would you try and shoot me or beat me to death or pull Flash out of me?”

“No, because I don’t use,” he said making a conscious effort to swallow his biscuit before speaking.

“So everyone should just be as careful as they can be when speaking to someone else.”

He nodded. “I didn’t think it was a great idea to invite them to the party, but once they found out, what was I supposed to do? Tell them no?”

“I don’t – So. People who don’t use Flash are second class citizens, subservient to the fear that whoever they’re with will go bizarro on them?”

“Pretty much. Man, Dylan pulled you down from up North. You should already know this stuff.”

“I grew up in a good area. I have no reason to.”

“Not exactly broadcast anywhere, is it?” George said taking a bite out of his biscuit. “Everyone knows about it and looks the other way.”

“Nothing I can do but be courteous to everyone I meet, I guess.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

“You’re right. Sorry about that.”

“No problem. Anyway, I was coming down here to get you. Dylan wants to have a word with you.”

“Tell him I don’t care.”

“Why don’t you tell me yourself,” Dylan said, opening the door to the main hall.

“I don’t want to talk to you, bud.”

“And why not? What have I done to you?”

There was a pause before the door behind him opened and Clarice stepped through. She looked like she got about as much sleep as I did last night.

“Nothing big,” I said.

“Then why can’t we talk?”

“If I say yes, are you going to say, ‘Cool, oh wait, I have class, lemme go ditch you.’”

“I told you, I was coming back to get you.”

“I don’t have any reason to believe you, now do I? You’ve given me no reason to trust you – every time I’ve given you an inch, you’ve taken a mile. So, yeah, you can talk, but I’m not going to give you the benefit of the doubt anymore.”

Saying that felt good. No, better than good, it felt Godly.

“Whatever. Look, the other guys are alright. Tyler, George, Sam.” He paused. “Liza, they’re okay, but they don’t really like doing much except what’s around campus. I was going to extend an invitation to you, but you’d be wasting one of your Guest Pass days, because it’s an overnight thing. Just you and me, buddy boy, rowing out to Banana Island past curfew.”

“What the hell!” George said, throwing his hands up. “I want to go!”

“You’d complain the entire time,” Dylan said.

“No way. I’ve always wanted to go on one of your trips, man! Why does he get to go,” George whined, motioning towards me.

“Because he and I got off on the wrong foot. I want to make things right between us.”

“What the hell is Banana Island?”

“It’s a lot less flamboyant than it sounds. It’s about half a mile off the coast, near The Kinder. There’s a light house on it, the Island isn’t much bigger than the quad, but they say it’s haunted by the ghost of some ex-hooker. I was reading about it a few nights ago and didn’t really have a second person to invite until you showed up.

“However, I understand if you don’t want to go. It’s going to be cold and you’re going to be out all night. I wouldn’t want to offend your sensibilities or anything – I mean, lord knows, you have to get your beauty sleep for class and everything.”

I winced. What a backhanded invitation. But it felt sincere – I would have been far more suspicious had he decided to be nice to me. This felt right at home.

“Besides, it’ll give us a chance to talk through some stuff that’s been bothering me,” he said with a smirk. “I’ve got class now, but think about it. If you want to go, meet me by my room around seven.”