Quote:
Originally Posted by choof
I'd wish that for a day I could see the immediate aftermath of my suicide, so it could truly motivate me to either get my shit together or to actually end it
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If you need to know the outcome of your actions as being this thing or that thing, you've already lost the game of life.
I had a conversation the other day about like, what to do if someone's imminently about to kill themselves, say, jump off a bridge. They were like 'Priority #1 is to keep them from jumping'
But I think priority #1 is to share some sort of joy, or love with that person.
We don't -ever- get to see the full outcomes of our actions, serious ones like suicide or even minor ones. That's...the game. That's...part of life. There is no one thing to do in it, no one way to live it, no one goal to have, no goal necessary even. What happens next breath? Is it really that bad to breathe? To hear? To see? To feel a breeze or your own fingers touching your own skin? To feel your pulse? To cry, laugh or scream? To rest? Just be able to lie down, and rest, blessed rest...
Bring the moment to the moment, for the moment. All the stress and worries are not, actually, real right now. (Or ever if you don't want them to be.) Dismiss them. Your life, sure, is reflected by other beings. But it's also reflected by yourself and the physical world in which you exist.
Instead of putting in effort, let yourself drift into whatever natural state you're being brought into, just for a moment. Try to silence your thoughts, take the thought and watch the thought. It is not you, you don't need to attach to it. Watch it come and go. 'This is a stupid exercise' is a thought! Not a bad one to have, not a good one to have, but watch how when it drifts away, how your physical being changes when it has the thought to when it doesn't have the thought.
Me? I'm feeling kinda tense and cold right now. I'm hoping that you're seeing that I care for you enough to try and help. I understand the torment that you go through. I've gone through it myself. I mean not your specifics obviously, but the underlying emotions? Yeah I know them. And there IS another side to all the pain, or a way through it, somehow.